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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed (65818 Views)
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Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by tunize(m): 9:50pm On May 12, 2020 |
Bros nor try tell ur mom or sister(not yet) if not kiss ur relationship good bye. This is Nigeria oooh the stigma issa bomb. Na that time u go no sey 6G network done dey nigeria since. U're selfless shall but hope u know what u're doing? Additionally how far are u willing to go? |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nicole01: 9:52pm On May 12, 2020 |
1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by intruder15(m): 9:57pm On May 12, 2020 |
Crazeman03: I like your reasoning. You have an open mind. It's natural having doubts now. It's natural feeling the way you feel. But ask yourself some basic questions. Is she what u want in marriage? Do you feel at peace when you are with her? If yes, then u are good to go. Firstly, talk to a doctor or a consultant. I will prefer you talk to a doctor/ medical Consultant that don't know you personally because these days, doctors don't abide by their oat of secrecy. Your discussion should be about living with an HIV infected person, the precautions and safety measures. I believe u can get married to her and give birth to kids without you and the kids being infected. Secondly, it's not just about trusting ur relative. You can trust your mother or sister but they may have a loose mouth which may leak that secret. I know u don't mind if they tell the world. But it will make your wife feel unsecured and scared. Nah. She is precious to you. Don't make her feel less. Hence, don't tell anybody. Only tell when there is a need to. E.g, your mum observing that she isn't breastfeeding the baby and asks. It's ur mum. She deserved to know at that point. you can tell her at that point. But a colleague at work asking same? Tell that colleague/Outsider to F**k off. In your mind though. Not out loud. May God see you through. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by babydioku(f): 9:58pm On May 12, 2020 |
what a stupid man 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by WeRblessed(f): 10:02pm On May 12, 2020 |
As long as she is on her medication I see nothing wrong with that. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by eroticecstasy: 10:04pm On May 12, 2020 |
Crazeman03: that's why she is pregnant so that the child will remind her that she found a temporary love in her rainy days. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 10:12pm On May 12, 2020 |
fullblast:You can't love someone when you decide not to practice self-love!! There is nothing like Tit for Tat here!! 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by placeofallure(f): 10:19pm On May 12, 2020 |
Crazeman03: It's a good thing you already know that HIV isn't a death sentence, carriers can live a normal, purposeful life. Now, go and do a test to determine your status. At most testing points, there's always a heart2heart service provided for people. Here you undergo counseling on how to go about issues. Your wife, through PMTCT intervention will not infect the baby. In fact you, your wife and the baby can lead normal lives. Good luck and all the best. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Palehair: 11:27pm On May 12, 2020 |
Wiifesnatcher:Your assumption is quite baseless because I know people who didn't get it via sex speaking as a first hand witness and nobody is a saint when it comes to matters like these |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by tammie24: 11:36pm On May 12, 2020 |
J111333:unapologetically accurate 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by CuteYvonne777: 11:51pm On May 12, 2020 |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Theoutsider: 12:35am On May 13, 2020 |
famzynet: Sure nothing wrong here. Just that your whole family will be on either emtricitabine, rilpivirine , tenofovir for years on end with possible ever lasting effects on the child mentally. Also, the abuse it has on your liver the drugs will do. On top of that promoting unprotected sex here even though HIV and AIDs is a problem. Her bad decisions is now your bad decision. HIV is not the worse virus? Well it kills blacks because of their inability to control their sexual desires. Anyone young man thats reading this please take my advise.. stop having sex (or at least protected sex) and get your mind, education/business in order. You don't need to have a girl NOW or get married. Do not get sucked into this cycle, because you will end up like this guy. Adding problems with out mastering your self. If you have AIDS your life is not over. That is not the message I am sending. Its just beyond sick how many men approve a man playing with fire and putting the WOMAN on a pedestal. This is just a man desperate to be loved and will put his life on the line for it and eventually in the future will regret not loving him self first. She loves you because now she is backed against the wall. She knew she was infected and saw you as a "provider" In life we have to make hard decisions. Some times we have to walk away from loves ones to be better people. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by shylo(m): 1:53am On May 13, 2020 |
Make no mistake about this. Undetectable viral load does not mean that the virus cannot transmit at some point. It only means that the risk of transmission is low. 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 2:00am On May 13, 2020 |
1. Marry your woman 2.Tell her to stop taking HIV medication 3..When baby arrive she should breastfeed. 4.Have a wonderful married and family 5. No need to visit the HIV clinic don't worry she and your family would be fine and would live a long fulfilled life. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Theoutsider: 2:26am On May 13, 2020 |
GenBuhari: Not only is this response uneducated and childish. It shows your lack of understand of an immune disease. Advice like this will in doubt send her the grave. Do you have any idea what HIV is or does. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by grandstar(m): 2:43am On May 13, 2020 |
Crazeman03 Keep hush about it until after the wedding. Your family members will discourage you and there's the stigma. You. Might have to keep hush forever unless you can live with any unwelcome fallout of it. (Read Proverbs 27:12). Think carefully about it Only inform them if you're looking for an excuse to dump the girl. She's living in a fantasy. Please, don't destroy it. He that is showing favor to the lowly one is lending to Jehovah and he will repay (Proverbs 19:17) While you owe her a duty of care to love her, she owes you a duty of care to take her drugs and not infect you. Subtly let her know this. If you pull out now and leave her a single mother, it might torment your soul to no end. What of the child? Won't you want to see your child? Won't you breakdown when you see your baby and the mum? 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by manontree: 4:30am On May 13, 2020 |
It appears this man is trying to marry her out of pity. Marriage is usually filled with its up and down and rough patches. If you married out of pity, imagine how these bad patches would be filled with terrible words of valor Marry because you want to and she is the best for you As for her HIV status, pre marriage serodiscondant couples are always the most problematic. While it makes for the best outcome in terms of being careful and low transmission levels, there is constant distrust, higher divorce rate and domestic violence cases You must already know that while she is undetectable she won't be able to infect you. The partners study confirmed what we already know that U equals to U and we have always maintained that having unprotected sex with a HIV positive undetectable person is safer than having unprotected sex with a person of unknown hiv status If you can afford it, avoid breastfeeding. Regardless of the options of breastfeeding used and even if the child is on ARV as PrEP, there is still a 1.8% chance of transmission |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by broswilli: 6:18am On May 13, 2020 |
J111333:Great response above. If I met a lady like that I would first want to know how she contracted the virus. From whom and how long she dated that person. After these questions you would know if she was a decent lady that got unlucky or if she was a lady slaying unnecessarily. Many ladies today live their lives anyhow and finally look for a weak man to hang their problems on. If you have the opportunity to sit with them when they have their private discussions with their friends you may be more careful the way you fall in love. Don't you think it would be better to know more about her past life and her previous friends. Please don't try to mend anyone's life because you won't succeed leave that job for Jesus. 1 Like |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by passionberry(f): 6:23am On May 13, 2020 |
Crazeman03:Kudos to you,,I must say your type is rare especially here in Nigeria..despite her status you dont love her less,,God bless your heart.just stand by her,confide on your mum,sit her down and open up to her,I know she will yell and say a manner of things but remain calm ,let her see reason wit you and your woman.the baby might evn born and result might be negative,,Pray with her,support and encourage her. .once your mum accept her ,your sister is easy to penetrate but firsr is your mum...I wish you the best. God will give you th grace and wisdom to handle things |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Mystery9(m): 7:03am On May 13, 2020 |
It is now that she is pregnant that you are thinking double. Oga no give us any complain, finish what you started. Even if you disclose her status to some of your family members, that should not stop you for marrying her. Unless if you are still a toy to your family. |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by oshorstan(m): 7:25am On May 13, 2020 |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by emmyileri(m): 7:30am On May 13, 2020 |
Who among those commenting will allow his son to be in a relationship with an HIV+ woman?am just wondering |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Uzomaglovani: 8:07am On May 13, 2020 |
J111333:my thought...... Na wa ooooooo some people are very careless with their life oh am sure he has not seen an HIV patient before, that his or her condition is scary poster try see your doctor for more guide don’t be negligent of your health all in the name of love good luck to you |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Uzomaglovani: 8:14am On May 13, 2020 |
ezegenigbonine:lolz |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Memyselfu2009(m): 9:25am On May 13, 2020 |
it is none of there business but when you do all hell would be let loose it best you talk to madam, or see a chancellor |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Larcardii(f): 9:37am On May 13, 2020 |
Goddys:Mr carefulness...wat makes u think u will stay in dis world forever...leave d op ...if its d will of God that dey would be together mind ur bussiness |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Larcardii(f): 9:40am On May 13, 2020 |
panmunium:she is even nice to tell him at all...some men or women won't even tell their partners at all... |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by odogwu9(m): 9:43am On May 13, 2020 |
Crazeman03: You could still be negative while having sex with her for a very long time but I will suggest u start using protection now that she is pregnant..in as much as u love her and ur faith is strong and you are not really scared about HIV you should apply some level decorum..talk to her.. it will be cost effective and quite healthy if u don't go down with the virus too..it would be more or less a Herculean task if both of u are in the HIV treatment program..And definitely you will need to open to someone in your family.. you don't need to keep something like this to yourself alone..But they must promise to respect your decisions , private life and treat the information with utmost discretion..They must be very discreet about what u tell them |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by Nobody: 10:04am On May 13, 2020 |
look, your thinking might be reasonable to you and to some other persons,,OK? For me, it is however foolishness on your part for you to get down with someone with HIV. Think about this; will she date you if your status is hers? Have you taken your time to ask her questions concerning her life style in the past? Are you her type if her status is OK? With these questions and some others, you can be able to know your next line of action. it is not too late to quit the relationship if her answers are not satisfactory. Every human in her shoes will act same way as hers at the moment. I am HIV counsellor, we do advise people living with HIV (PLWHIV) to marry their type whose viral load is also low. However, if they are already married, they should continue with their relationship. Well, in most cases, their partners are also positive. Bros, I will advise you quit the relationship after given birth, but you must take responsibility for the unborn child upkeep. This is Nigeria, very soon she will start reducing her regular drug intake, so that her viral load will increase for you to contract the virus, so that you both will be at par. this is normally the position of PLWHIV. Why? just to reduce your ego on her. It is highly advised that, the dead should burry the dead,,OK? It is never too late, act nowwwwww! |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by fynex(m): 10:22am On May 13, 2020 |
Crazeman03: Seek medical advice about breast feeding and ask for the alternatives... |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by GodPunishBiafra: 10:39am On May 13, 2020 |
Crazeman03:I have watched this movie before... Please remind me the title |
Re: I'm Dating HIV Positive Lady & She Is Pregnant. Advice Needed by GodPunishBiafra: 10:41am On May 13, 2020 |
gaby:Abi nau Guy like that go prevent guys like us. At least, the girl no go spread am reach out side |
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