Bros nor try tell ur mom or sister(not yet) if not kiss ur relationship good bye. This is Nigeria oooh the stigma issa bomb. Na that time u go no sey 6G network done dey nigeria since. U're selfless shall but hope u know what u're doing? Additionally how far are u willing to go?

Wahala dey ooo
Meanwhile check this out please
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyTs9bxEhaw

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

I like your reasoning. You have an open mind. It's natural having doubts now. It's natural feeling the way you feel. But ask yourself some basic questions. Is she what u want in marriage? Do you feel at peace when you are with her? If yes, then u are good to go.

Firstly, talk to a doctor or a consultant. I will prefer you talk to a doctor/ medical Consultant that don't know you personally because these days, doctors don't abide by their oat of secrecy. Your discussion should be about living with an HIV infected person, the precautions and safety measures. I believe u can get married to her and give birth to kids without you and the kids being infected.

Secondly, it's not just about trusting ur relative. You can trust your mother or sister but they may have a loose mouth which may leak that secret. I know u don't mind if they tell the world. But it will make your wife feel unsecured and scared. Nah. She is precious to you. Don't make her feel less. Hence, don't tell anybody. Only tell when there is a need to. E.g, your mum observing that she isn't breastfeeding the baby and asks. It's ur mum. She deserved to know at that point. you can tell her at that point. But a colleague at work asking same? Tell that colleague/Outsider to F**k off. In your mind though. Not out loud.

May God see you through.

what a stupid man

As long as she is on her medication I see nothing wrong with that.

Crazeman03:


Yes I truly love her and she feel thesame way. Though she till have doubt and always feel insecure about me. She believes one day I will walk away.

that's why she is pregnant so that the child will remind her that she found a temporary love in her rainy days.

fullblast:

To some extent, it may be difficult to find a woman that can stand by a male victim. But one thing is sure... Tit for tat can never pay you.

You can't love someone when you decide not to practice self-love!!

There is nothing like Tit for Tat here!!

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

It's a good thing you already know that HIV isn't a death sentence, carriers can live a normal, purposeful life. Now, go and do a test to determine your status. At most testing points, there's always a heart2heart service provided for people. Here you undergo counseling on how to go about issues. Your wife, through PMTCT intervention will not infect the baby. In fact you, your wife and the baby can lead normal lives. Good luck and all the best.

Wiifesnatcher:



are you a victim? because the way you carry my opinion for head than your destiny is amusing


no HIV carrier are ordained Prophet. your mumu na Grade 1

Your assumption is quite baseless because I know people who didn't get it via sex speaking as a first hand witness and nobody is a saint when it comes to matters like these

J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

Yes she is nice to you now, loves you and all that but believe me, every woman in her shoes will do so too. Humility mostly comes after setback or disgrace. I can bet that if you had met her when she was slaying before contracting the virus, she might not have easily settled for you without messing around like several ladies of her age today. Don't take the humility of an injured lion too seriously my friend.

Well, you already got her pregnant so deal with your issues but wait until you are also cornered by the virus to see her true character.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.

unapologetically accurate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClrqP9J_d5E

famzynet:
She can breastfeed her baby as long as she is taking her medications. The child will be given medications too. But it must be exclusive breastfeeding with no mixed feeding for 6months. Breastfeeding stops whenever you bring in other feeding .
Use protection when you meet her except when you want to procreate.

Sure nothing wrong here.

Just that your whole family will be on either emtricitabine, rilpivirine , tenofovir for years on end with possible ever lasting effects on the child mentally. Also, the abuse it has on your liver the drugs will do. On top of that promoting unprotected sex here even though HIV and AIDs is a problem. Her bad decisions is now your bad decision.

HIV is not the worse virus? Well it kills blacks because of their inability to control their sexual desires.

Anyone young man thats reading this please take my advise.. stop having sex (or at least protected sex) and get your mind, education/business in order. You don't need to have a girl NOW or get married. Do not get sucked into this cycle, because you will end up like this guy. Adding problems with out mastering your self. If you have AIDS your life is not over. That is not the message I am sending.

Its just beyond sick how many men approve a man playing with fire and putting the WOMAN on a pedestal.

This is just a man desperate to be loved and will put his life on the line for it and eventually in the future will regret not loving him self first.

She loves you because now she is backed against the wall. She knew she was infected and saw you as a "provider"

In life we have to make hard decisions. Some times we have to walk away from loves ones to be better people.

Make no mistake about this. Undetectable viral load does not mean that the virus cannot transmit at some point. It only means that the risk of transmission is low.

1. Marry your woman 2.Tell her to stop taking HIV medication 3..When baby arrive she should breastfeed. 4.Have a wonderful married and family 5. No need to visit the HIV clinic don't worry she and your family would be fine and would live a long fulfilled life.

GenBuhari:
1. Marry your woman 2.Tell her to stop taking HIV medication 3..When baby arrive she should breastfeed. 4.Have a wonderful married and family 5. No need to visit the HIV clinic don't worry she and your family would be fine and would live a long fulfilled life.

Not only is this response uneducated and childish. It shows your lack of understand of an immune disease. Advice like this will in doubt send her the grave. Do you have any idea what HIV is or does.

Crazeman03
Keep hush about it until after the wedding. Your family members will discourage you and there's the stigma. You. Might have to keep hush forever unless you can live with any unwelcome fallout of it. (Read Proverbs 27:12). Think carefully about it


Only inform them if you're looking for an excuse to dump the girl. She's living in a fantasy. Please, don't destroy it.

He that is showing favor to the lowly one is lending to Jehovah and he will repay (Proverbs 19:17)

While you owe her a duty of care to love her, she owes you a duty of care to take her drugs and not infect you. Subtly let her know this.

If you pull out now and leave her a single mother, it might torment your soul to no end.

What of the child? Won't you want to see your child? Won't you breakdown when you see your baby and the mum?

It appears this man is trying to marry her out of pity. Marriage is usually filled with its up and down and rough patches. If you married out of pity, imagine how these bad patches would be filled with terrible words of valor

Marry because you want to and she is the best for you

As for her HIV status, pre marriage serodiscondant couples are always the most problematic. While it makes for the best outcome in terms of being careful and low transmission levels, there is constant distrust, higher divorce rate and domestic violence cases

You must already know that while she is undetectable she won't be able to infect you. The partners study confirmed what we already know that U equals to U and we have always maintained that having unprotected sex with a HIV positive undetectable person is safer than having unprotected sex with a person of unknown hiv status

If you can afford it, avoid breastfeeding. Regardless of the options of breastfeeding used and even if the child is on ARV as PrEP, there is still a 1.8% chance of transmission

J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

Yes she is nice to you now, loves you and all that but believe me, every woman in her shoes will do so too. Humility mostly comes after setback or disgrace. I can bet that if you had met her when she was slaying before contracting the virus, she might not have easily settled for you without messing around like several ladies of her age today. Don't take the humility of an injured lion too seriously my friend.

Well, you already got her pregnant so deal with your issues but wait until you are also cornered by the virus to see her true character.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.

Great response above. If I met a lady like that I would first want to know how she contracted the virus. From whom and how long she dated that person. After these questions you would know if she was a decent lady that got unlucky or if she was a lady slaying unnecessarily.

Many ladies today live their lives anyhow and finally look for a weak man to hang their problems on. If you have the opportunity to sit with them when they have their private discussions with their friends you may be more careful the way you fall in love.

Don't you think it would be better to know more about her past life and her previous friends. Please don't try to mend anyone's life because you won't succeed leave that job for Jesus.

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

Kudos to you,,I must say your type is rare especially here in Nigeria..despite her status you dont love her less,,God bless your heart.just stand by her,confide on your mum,sit her down and open up to her,I know she will yell and say a manner of things but remain calm ,let her see reason wit you and your woman.the baby might evn born and result might be negative,,Pray with her,support and encourage her. .once your mum accept her ,your sister is easy to penetrate but firsr is your mum...I wish you the best. God will give you th grace and wisdom to handle things

It is now that she is pregnant that you are thinking double. Oga no give us any complain, finish what you started. Even if you disclose her status to some of your family members, that should not stop you for marrying her. Unless if you are still a toy to your family.

eni4real:
Blind Courage

At least courage day..... Even if he blind, he fit use stick for directions

Who among those commenting will allow his son to be in a relationship with an HIV+ woman?am just wondering

J111333:
I will say my mind, don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I will dare not start a relationship let alone have unprotected sex with a hiv patient.

Yes she is nice to you now, loves you and all that but believe me, every woman in her shoes will do so too. Humility mostly comes after setback or disgrace. I can bet that if you had met her when she was slaying before contracting the virus, she might not have easily settled for you without messing around like several ladies of her age today. Don't take the humility of an injured lion too seriously my friend.

Well, you already got her pregnant so deal with your issues but wait until you are also cornered by the virus to see her true character.

You are a careless man and I stay far away from your type.

my thought...... Na wa ooooooo some people are very careless with their life oh am sure he has not seen an HIV patient before, that his or her condition is scary poster try see your doctor for more guide don’t be negligent of your health all in the name of love good luck to you

ezegenigbonine:
Truely you are really a crazeman.

But I really admire your courage even as you are a Nigerian breed. If you really love her and know that she will not make mistake one day, you can carry on with her ok but try and be very careful. May God be with you.

lolz

it is none of there business but when you do all hell would be let loose it best you talk to madam, or see a chancellor

Goddys:
I will say my mind plainly and not pretend like all the above commenters except emyrald91



Why would you have unprotected sex with HIV+ in the name of love even if she has low viral load?


Why entangle your life with unnecessary risks and liabilities because of love?

Do you think she wouldn't walk away if you were the carrier?

I am selfish when it comes to issue like this because it is my default state as a human being.

She didn't disclose it till 7th month when she noticed she had captured your heart.

This is exactly what happens when men don't take redpills, the likes ubunja has been selflessly administering here


I won't advise you. Advise yourself

Mr carefulness...wat makes u think u will stay in dis world forever...leave d op ...if its d will of God that dey would be together mind ur bussiness

panmunium:
To be frank, the lady didn't try at all, she disclosed her status 7months into the relationship which makes her not trustworthy, I advice you should leave her as soon as possible before you contract the virus..I bet you if she was still slaying and negative, she wouldn't have glanced at you. But for the baby, it can be breast fed for 3- 6months when viral load is low

she is even nice to tell him at all...some men or women won't even tell their partners at all...

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

You could still be negative while having sex with her for a very long time but I will suggest u start using protection now that she is pregnant..in as much as u love her and ur faith is strong and you are not really scared about HIV you should apply some level decorum..talk to her.. it will be cost effective and quite healthy if u don't go down with the virus too..it would be more or less a Herculean task if both of u are in the HIV treatment program..And definitely you will need to open to someone in your family.. you don't need to keep something like this to yourself alone..But they must promise to respect your decisions , private life and treat the information with utmost discretion..They must be very discreet about what u tell them

look, your thinking might be reasonable to you and to some other persons,,OK? For me, it is however foolishness on your part for you to get down with someone with HIV. Think about this; will she date you if your status is hers? Have you taken your time to ask her questions concerning her life style in the past? Are you her type if her status is OK? With these questions and some others, you can be able to know your next line of action. it is not too late to quit the relationship if her answers are not satisfactory. Every human in her shoes will act same way as hers at the moment. I am HIV counsellor, we do advise people living with HIV (PLWHIV) to marry their type whose viral load is also low. However, if they are already married, they should continue with their relationship. Well, in most cases, their partners are also positive. Bros, I will advise you quit the relationship after given birth, but you must take responsibility for the unborn child upkeep. This is Nigeria, very soon she will start reducing her regular drug intake, so that her viral load will increase for you to contract the virus, so that you both will be at par. this is normally the position of PLWHIV. Why? just to reduce your ego on her. It is highly advised that, the dead should burry the dead,,OK? It is never too late, act nowwwwww!

Crazeman03:


Yes I truly love her and she feel thesame way. Though she till have doubt and always feel insecure about me. She believes one day I will walk away.

Seek medical advice about breast feeding and ask for the alternatives...

Crazeman03:
Hello Nairalanders, Hope you guys are staying Safe. Please don't mind my writing, I will make it short as possible.

I met this wonderful lady Last year and everything has been going good until 7 months ago when she told me she was Hiv+. That hit me hard but that didn't change anything, she was surprised I didnt react and opening up to me didn't scare me because I'm negative though we haven't had sex yet before the moment.

Now it has been 4 months we've been having unprotected sex. I'm not afraid of contracting the virus, as she keeps taking med and her viral load is low. I made sure before we went for test before having unprotected sex. Her CD4 count is above 750 and viral load is below 20, which makes hiv undetectable in her.

Now one night around 3months ago, she woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, why do I love her knowing fully well about her status because she could not believe she will ever have a relationship with someone negative not even in this Nigeria by the way they stigmatize hiv+ people. I told her the reason and I'm not afraid hiv is not the worse or the baddest of diseases. There are more killer diseases than HIV and HIV is not a diseases but a virus. Only attack your immune system and its no longer a deadly virus.

The problem I have now is that whenever I imagine myself having it and how I will popping drugs everyday, make me kinda moody towards her, because I always keep telling her to always take her drugs. Last night she discovered she is pregnant and I'm just imagining things how everything will play out, I know when she will put to bed she won't be able to breastfeed. People will ask questions. I really need to tell someone in my family but I don't know who. My mom my react and the other person I trust is my younger sister.

On her own part, only her elder sister and brother knew she has the virus. And she had it since 2007.

I only need an advice if I need to tell any member of my family, looking to settle down with her this October.

I have watched this movie before...
Please remind me the title

gaby:
Enugbe

I don't even know what to advise but I'm proud of you loving her in spite of her HIV+ status.

May God bless you guys.

Abi nau
Guy like that go prevent guys like us.

At least, the girl no go spread am reach out side