Davida33:

You are still not making sense, in the old days women don't work but their major responsibility is to care for the family while the man provide for the family but will all Know that has changed now as women now work and can provide for the family.

When you are married, you become one with you wife and this mean whatever you owned become your wife own and vice versa. If your wife don't have that understanding, there will be issues in the marriage because she will think she is doing you a favor by providing for the family but it's a shared responsibility.

sexylassie2:

you are not goal oriented, you spend all your life following me up and down.
your type are the ones we women should avoid(no future ambition)

realtalk19:
Your husband is cold blooded narcissist, manipulator, pretender, egoistic, troublesome and immatured man.

I once knew someone with his kind of attitude and believe me no matter how calm,quiet and peaceful you try to be,it fuels his attitude more and will keep frustrating you till you break and loose your self worth,then you fall into depression and then you start looking for a way of escape but what keeps holding you back is how to start a fresh with 4 kids to take care of and no funds. It's not going to be easy at all especially with four kids except you are financially loaded.

You are the only one that can put a stop to all these. U may need to take a break and change environment so you can recover your sanity.

It is well with you.

There are still good,responsible,loving, caring and God fearing men out there . It only takes God's grace and Devine favor to end up with them. Most of them are also in the hands of a crazy, cold hearted woman who don't know the value of what they have and take them for granted.

May God help us all.

stellarita:
God bless you for this. People don't really face realities. They don't want people to express themselves. There is no iota of lie in what you have typed. I experienced it first hand, only God delivered me from committing murder and suicide. I have turned advicer original to my siblings.

hajimutex1:
Thank you madam for taking your time to put all this up for people to learn from well done job
*as a marital psychologist* several things is happening in various home, some house is either husband is smoking, womanizer, gambling etc
I think your husband has only two variable base on what you put down is* BROKE* at the same time is *INGRATE*person the two are also a problem.
In counseling we give information is left for the client to choose the one that is most appropriate he or she let diagnose the two problem now
the fact that is broke is not is fault I think is general socio economic situation of the land try more to be his friend guide him the way he spent the little that come to his way and help him to reduce any form of irrelevant spending like house rent types of vehicle he use, tuitions fees etc let him know you want best for his family and you are not in her life for a problem seeker you're their for problem solve. There are other question that I may like to ask if it was normal counseling session but this can not be %100 counseling ethics on the issue of ingrate when ever you feel he you does something I he did not appriciaite you try to call him to order by doing first step you will know at time goes on this we change drastically for more enquiry called on 08021067187

Coursetrouble:
Hi,I like you

kestolove95:
Divorce d modafucka nd move on with ur life, get a young guy as a sec toy...no time men are stupeed

soonest:


1.2M as rent? I salute you, you are a rich man!

UyaiIncomparabl:


Better drop him like a hotplate. Surprisingly, he'll take that attitude into marriage and expect you to ask him for everything down to the nitty grittys. You'll even have to coerce him to pay the children's school fees and other miscellaneous things. Give yourself wisdom and leave.hehehe. that's a big Truth.

yak:


God bless u for the little effort. will save Ur contact because i will need u to guide me through this professional stuff

Nna17:
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

veave:
Hian.

Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.

Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join.

ImaIma1:


Your unsolicited and inconsequential opinion.

Alero3Arubi:

You just won a spot in me heart.
That's the way to go.
Also try to save ooo, if bad market enter you need to cut out.

Op80:
My sisteris in the same problem in her marriage just like you. I earn little but I share with my sister who is made to be a house wife even as a graduate. This man doesn't know whether my sister wears cloth neither does the children. I give my sister my little earning because I can't stand my sister suffering when I am alive. Sometime s, he doesn't give them money for food, I have to fend for them. I am tired of the whole situation. I am a single lady but what I see these days makes it difficult to yearn for marriage

Rozz:
hello I like you too.Thanks

odinga1of:


With the current happenings in Nigeria. E nor easy to feed family of 4, how much more 6?

Try use your head, before quoting me.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

sowilli:
you are on the path to destroying your glorious destiny.

Funkybabee:



E gbenu yin soun jor

Kini won un so, ki lan so

Came2win:


I had to come online because of your comment.
God bless you.
Honestly, I wonder why women go as far as having more kids for a man that does not deserve shit. Women should shine their eyes. You have your first child and second child, and you see he is acting like a maniac or you are unhappy. You are beginning to see the man is a joke and giving you problems. Put a stop to CHILDBIRTH immediately. Don't add more children to the the problematic and troubled marriage. It is ABSOLUTELY SELFISH to have more kids for a man that ain't worth it. Imagine 4 kids ! I was pained

angelfallz:
Lol no. your advice is not causing me to lose sleep. I didn't attack your advice. you missed the point. what i was referring to was, you blatantly saying you side with the OP.