sysengr:
Am happily married with two girls. My husband is very simple and understanding. He is playful and loving father. I have been in peace with my husband all along.

Due to our financial stand, we anchored to stop at the two. Though, I got pregnant again for our third which was not planned.

The scan result revealed a girl child. And since then, my husband's mood has changed, not because is the third child but a girl. This is a man that always assist me in the home on daily bases with joy. But now things are no longer the same, he has changed drastically. He frequently gets angry with me and the children. My husband always says to me "why not a boy".

This has been a burden on me and am due for delivery soon.

Please advice me on how to cope with his new attitude.

Thanks.

You need to change it for him. Why didn't he give you a male child? Why is the pressure on you? It's his fault, if blames must be apportioned. But it's actually nobody's fault.

What if he couldn't have one?

xrayj:

The bold is not true!
We have also seen cases of couples wanting a female child, because they have only boys. My neighbour gave birth to five children because the man wanted female, four boys & a girl. He stopped when his wife gave birth to a girl.

But would he have thrown tantrums because he could not have a female child?

If I have two boys and I get pregnant for third and see another boy, will I be happy? No, I won't. But I will not make my husband life miserable, I will rather try again.

OP, I'm sorry your husband is making you feel sad. You have a beautiful gift growing in you. Everything will be okay.

worworbabe:


You need to change it for him. Why didn't he give you a male child? Why is the pressure on you? It's his fault, if blames must be apportioned. But it's actually nobody's fault.

What if he couldn't have one?

You are right.
Thanks

travelland:
If I have two boys and I get pregnant for third and see another boy, will I be happy? No, I won't. But I will not make my husband life miserable, I will rather try again.

OP, I'm sorry your husband is making you feel sad. You have a beautiful gift growing in you. Everything will be okay.

Oh dear!
Thanks so much

sysengr:

Oh dear!
Thanks so much

So you will try Gain?




I have 3 boys and I know what my husband said when I brought the last scan result cos even before marriage he always emphasized his love for girl children.
Na wetin he put I bring out

GOD knows I can't lose sleep over trivial things or attempting to get preggy again.
I'm all for building my career at this pt not making babies anymore!

[quote author=sysengr post=89288000]
Whenever I say it's the man that determines the sex, sometimes he says a woman that receives it also needs to have high alkalinity. So annoying.
It's so hard for him to accept it's fully his fault.


The saying, that it is the man that determines the sex of a baby is a fat lie.
The believe was only created by the western countries to reduce the pressure on african and asian women.
The truth is that having a male or female is determined by 4 major events.
1) The strenght of the mans sperm
2) The acidic or alkaline nature of the woman virgina .
3) The timing of sex in the cycle.
4) Game of luck and God.
In all the above, event number 4 stand dominant.
Let look at the 3 different senario below.
Senario 1
The male has a fertile sperms with enough Y and X chromosomes.The sperms are deposited in the virgina however, becos the egg is not quite near, the Y weakens within sometime and the X wins the race.
How is this the womans fault that the Y chro.. were not strong enough to win the race. Or, is the man/ woman also God that knows the position of her egg?
Senario 2
Male has a fertile sperm with enough X and Y chro.... The sperm is deposited in the virgina and the race begins, almost at the finishing line, the Y chromo..... dies becos of the acidic nature of the virgina and the X chromo... wins.
Tell me me how is it the fault of a man who has no control over the virgina nor the fault of the woman whose virgina could change from an acidic nature to alkalina at any point.
Verdic
No gender fully determines the sex or a baby. its a combination of all events above. It is by God that makes averything possible.

xrayj:

U women don't get it!
Dora Akunyili status in the society doesn't make her a man. A male child is different from female. A man wanting a male child isn't necessarily after that male child becoming rich or big in the society tomorrow, but he just want a male child to fill that empty part of his life. U think men who are after male children don't know the likes of dora & ngozi? Forget what u people hear, every man feels that emptiness without a male child, every man wish for it! As a woman, u will never understand this. @op give him time, he will come over it.

If you want a male child then release your forking Y chromosome and stop blaming innocent female folks. You should be ashamed of yourself for not being man enough to produce a male child to carry on your name. It's obvious you don't have school cert

UjuJoan2:


Do you think women with girls don't also want boys? I mean if we all could choose I bet we will all go for both gender. But that's the thing, it's not usually up to us to decide. So why make someone feel guilty about something that is out of their control?

Of course men want sons more so they can parade them as their heirs and somehow satisfy some kind of patriarchal need. Women probably don't really care that much, because all they need is a child to nurture, not some heir.

The fact that women will always be seen as second class citizens next to men doesn't always make it easy. No matter how accomplished a woman is, it somehow doesn't matter so much because she is not a man. That's why, despite their deep racism, US will prefer a male President than a female one, even of he is black or crazy. [s]But we have seen that women who make it to leadership positions often do better than their male counterparts[/s], but that doesn't even matter too. The idea that a woman is in charge is often emasculating for you men, so you never want to see that happen.

So bottom line is that men want sons to feed their ego, nothing more. And honestly, if a man needs a son to make himself feel good, then he wasn't really much of a man to begin with.

I mean you say you are a man and therefore 'superior', yet all it takes for you to have an identity crisis is the gender of your infant child. So your entire superiority is reliant on your newborn Isn't that a litte sad?

Diezani says hi.

Raalsalghul:


Diezani says hi.

Stella Oduah says hello.

sysengr:

Whenever I say it's the man that determines the sex, sometimes he says a woman that receives it also needs to have high alkalinity. So annoying.
It's so hard for him to accept it's fully his fault.

Thanks a lot

He's an educated man, I mean really educated in the biology of conception.

Shouldn't you be happy you're married to someone who doesn't make half-illiterate statements like 'a man determines sex'?

xrayj:

U women don't get it!
Dora Akunyili status in the society doesn't make her a man. A male child is different from female. A man wanting a male child isn't necessarily after that male child becoming rich or big in the society tomorrow, but he just want a male child to fill that empty part of his life. U think men who are after male children don't know the likes of dora & ngozi? Forget what u people hear, every man feels that emptiness without a male child, every man wish for it! As a woman, u will never understand this. @op give him time, he will come over it.

You've made sense and I see no reason why people should criticize others for what they want. But before the man gets angry, he should understand that it's what he puts in that will come out.

Men have a right to pray to God and want a male child but on no account should they ever blame their wives.

Women should stop naming successful females. No amount of success, fame or wealth will make a vagina turn to a penis.

.

LadySarah:


So you will try Gain?




I have 3 boys and I know what my husband said when I brought the last scan result cos even before marriage he always emphasized his love for girl children.
Na wetin he put I bring out

GOD knows I can't lose sleep over trivial things or attempting to get preggy again.
I'm all for building my career at this pt not making babies anymore!

I can't try again ooo pls.

We are looking for money to train children we have. This third is our final stop, that is why he is so angry it's not a boy. If we had a girl and a boy, we would have stopped at two. When this baby came unexpectedly, he said let's "let it be ,what if it's a boy". For me, I was okay with our two girls already.

That's true! also wants to build my career and learn skills.

Thanks a lot

[quote author=nameoh post=89305915][/quote]
Okay.
Thanks so much for this analysis.
Really God is the giver of children and the determinant of the gender too.

sysengr:

Whenever I say it's the man that determines the sex, sometimes he says a woman that receives it also needs to have high alkalinity. So annoying.
It's so hard for him to accept it's fully his fault.

Modified: I believe God's will also prevails in terms of sex too.

Thanks a lot

The saying, that it is the man that determines the sex of a baby is a fat lie.
The believe was only created by the western countries to reduce the pressure on african and asian women.
The truth is that having a male or female is determined by 4 major events.
1) The strenght of the mans sperm
2) The acidic or alkaline nature of the woman virgina .
3) The timing of sex in the cycle.
4) Game of luck and God.
In all the above, event number 4 stand dominant.
Let look at the 2 different senario below.
Senario 1
The male has a fertile sperms with enough quality Y and X chromosomes.The sperms are deposited in the virgina however, becos the egg is not quite near, the Y weakens within sometime and the X wins the race. 
How is this the womans fault that the Y chro.. were not strong enough to win the race. Or, is the man/ woman also God that knows the position of her egg?
Senario 2
Male has a fertile sperm with enough quality X and Y chro.... The sperm is deposited in the virgina and the race begins, almost at the finishing line, the Y chromo..... dies becos of the acidic nature of the virgina and the X chromo... wins.
Tell me me how is it the fault of a man who has no control over the virgina nor the fault of the woman whose virgina could change from an acidic nature to alkalina at any point.
Verdic
No gender fully determines the sex or a baby. its a combination of all events above. It is by God that makes averything possible.

nameoh:


The saying, that it is the man that determines the sex of a baby is a fat lie.
The believe was only created by the western countries to reduce the pressure on african and asian women.
The truth is that having a male or female is determined by 4 major events.
1) The strenght of the mans sperm
2) The acidic or alkaline nature of the woman virgina .
3) The timing of sex in the cycle.
4) Game of luck and God.
In all the above, event number 4 stand dominant.
Let look at the 2 different senario below.
Senario 1
The male has a fertile sperms with enough quality Y and X chromosomes.The sperms are deposited in the virgina however, becos the egg is not quite near, the Y weakens within sometime and the X wins the race. 
How is this the womans fault that the Y chro.. were not strong enough to win the race. Or, is the man/ woman also God that knows the position of her egg?
Senario 2
Male has a fertile sperm with enough quality X and Y chro.... The sperm is deposited in the virgina and the race begins, almost at the finishing line, the Y chromo..... dies becos of the acidic nature of the virgina and the X chromo... wins.
Tell me me how is it the fault of a man who has no control over the virgina nor the fault of the woman whose virgina could change from an acidic nature to alkalina at any point.
Verdic
No gender fully determines the sex or a baby. its a combination of all events above. It is by God that makes averything possible.

Okay. Thanks a lot for the analysis

sysengr:
Am happily married with two girls. My husband is very simple and understanding. He is playful and loving father. I have been in peace with my husband all along.

Due to our financial stand, we anchored to stop at the two. Though, I got pregnant again for our third which was not planned.

The scan result revealed a girl child. And since then, my husband's mood has changed, not because is the third child but a girl. This is a man that always assist me in the home on daily bases with joy. But now things are no longer the same, he has changed drastically. He frequently gets angry with me and the children. My husband always says to me "why not a boy".

This has been a burden on me and am due for delivery soon.

Please advice me on how to cope with his new attitude.

Thanks.

I'm so tapping to this


GOD GIMME GIRLS!!!!!

On a more serious note, having daughters is far more importanter

[quote author=nameoh post=89305915][/quote]

Whites don't give a rat's behind about African and Asian women, so don't be deceived they would cook up a story to suit our purpose.
They believe in science while we majorly like folk lore tales like the acidity/alkalinity of the vagina.
That statement is not based on science, and hasn't been proved. They will always remind you that the sheattles method is not proven scientifically.
Secondly, the sex of a child is determined by what chromosome the father donates, whether male or female. That is science, genetics . Proven scientifically.
Thirdly, sex determination is also a game of chance. You have a 50%chance of having a male child and 50%chance of having a female..... duhhhh. That's still scientific and also common sensical.

donbachi:
Dont blame him much,its normal..just dat,he is a membe of African Club Of Ahamefula(make my name no lost)...make him also believe sey na wetin him put dey come out..and female children do change the histories of their families.e.g,wife of the president,governors wives,senators and ministers wives..no be only male children dey always make am in life.

Must they marry an influential person?
Can't they also be influential on their own

jeff1607:



I'm so tapping to this


GOD GIMME GIRLS!!!!!

On a more serious note, having daughters is far more importanter

Seriously!

You are the third male am getting this from.
Well, I know you will also desire a boy to balance up.

Thanks

sysengr:

Seriously!

You are the third male am getting this from.
Well, I know you will also desire a boy to balance up.

Thanks

girls pls, boys can decide to change name or identity at one point, ladies don't forget where they come from , so many advantages with the girl child but raising them is really a big deal, they will give u heart attack especially during their teenage years.

a boy child can inherit properties n sell it to take care of a woman

jeff1607:



girls pls, boys can decide to change name or identity at one point, ladies don't forget where they come from , so many advantages with the girl child but raising them is really a big deal, they will give u heart attack especially during their teenage years.

a boy child can inherit properties n sell it to take care of a woman

Lol. Children are fun indeed

eyinjuege:


Whites don't give a rat's behind about African and Asian women, so don't be deceived they would cook up a story to suit our purpose.
They believe in science while we majorly like folk lore tales like the acidity/alkalinity of the vagina.
That statement is not based on science, and hasn't been proved. They will always remind you that the sheattles method is not proven scientifically.
Secondly, the sex of a child is determined by what chromosome the father donates, whether male or female. That is science, genetics . Proven scientifically.
Thirdly, sex determination is also a game of chance. You have a 50%chance of having a male child and 50%chance of having a female..... duhhhh. That's still scientific and also common sensical.

I dont say what i do not know.
Google is your friend. 99.9% of sperm carry both x and y chromosome.
The father has no power to donate a particular chromosome. The determinants are the 4 major events i stated earlier of which, i still certified that all things being equal, it still boils down to a game of luck and God.
You said europeans dont care about about the pain of african / asian women, why then did they come to africa to preach against the killing of twins.
In the uk, gender selection IVF is illegal. How many whites do gender selection, compared to how many black/asain do same.
It is more a feminist protection than race
Lastly acidity and akalinity of virgina and the effect on sperm is scientifical proven.

Praise God!
God has blessed my family with a baby.
God gave me a supernatural delivery.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

God is so faithful.

Short story before the delivery.

I have two precious girls and was not planning for another pregnancy cos of financial issues though hubby doesn't mind but hoped it will be a boy so we can close shop.

Started antenatal at 7th month. Scan at 8th month showed a girl. Hubby's mood changed. He stopped assisting me with chores. Gets angry unnecessary. At times he will complain that "we never wanted this pregnancy" " why is it not a boy".

Delivery day.

On the 13th of may, around 8pm contraction started gradually about an hour interval. By 10:40pm, had to call my brother and his wife to take us to the hospital, and our children to sleep in their house.

When we got to the hospital,they said with the way I look and smiling am not in labour yet, i told them I wanted to be here before the serious labour since I dilate fast and it was night.
Went into labour room to be checked. She screamed that I was 8cm dilated. They were all surprised and quickly prepared. Within 10 minutes, I was fully dilated. That was around 11:45pm. The contractions were not lasting long enough to push, so was later placed on drip.
To push problem, I forget how to and begged them to teach me again ooo. Lol

Around 12:30am, after the third push, baby came out.
Nurses said congrats that this my small tummy carried this big baby BOY! She showed me my baby's private part that it's a BOY ooo .I told them how scan saw girl.
When my hubby was told the sex he doubted. When he came in and saw him, he was so happy, came to me that why did I lie to him, I said I didn't that am also surprise.

God is great!

Hubby is so overjoyed that he does almost everything for me now. I am strong now but I still form small weakness at times ooo so he can still do most of the work. Make I relax small cos during pregnancy I suffer with house work alone that I almost lost the baby at 3 months cos of stress.
Later he assist if he feels like not as if he is going to working or business, we are in the house together.
If it was a girl, on my own for be my case but God will still be my strength as usual cos he assisted for a short period after delivery of our two girls, am even surprised he can work like this. My mom is late, his mother is old, so omugwo is not easy.

Thank you all so much.
I appreciate everyone.

God bless us

MrBrownJay1:
remind your husband that the sex of a child is decided by the man's sperm...so if it is indeed a girl again, then he is the reason for it (nothing to do with you)... furthermore, i do understand why having another girl would upset him, but pls be kind to remind him that A) if you dont want another kid then you guys should use some form of contraception and B) whether boy or girl, so long as children are healthy, they are a blessing!

seems, hubby would gladly accept a third child if it was a boy....

Even if it's determined by the man's sperm, does he have the power to control which chromosome attaches to his wife's egg?

It's not his fault either and it's only natural for a man to desire a 'mini me'

OP you guys should've gone for a medical procedure called "sperm selection" or simply adopt a male child if you don't plan on birthing anymore children..

crackkhaus:

I don't know what brought Nigeria into this.

If you want to compare what female leaders did/are doing, that comparison should be made with male leaders within the same region or former male leaders in that same country, that's how you do an analysis.

For example, Theresa May as PM of Britain could not get parliament to agree on a Brexit deal.. yet Boris Johnson came in and got it done.
Now that's a comparison... unfortunately, not favouring a woman, so you won't mention it.

If you want to use Africa, you will compare former president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia with the incumbent president...again not favouring her, yet you won't mention it.

Now it's to compare Germany and Nigeria based on what exactly?
You did not see Austria led by a man, and with lower and comparatively better handling of COVID-19 to compare with Germany, na Nigeria you mention.
It's only Germany and New Zealand the CNN you're watching talks about abi..

You have no argument abeg, go rest.

Buhahahahha! Finish her.

sysengr:
Praise God!
God has blessed my family with a baby.
God gave me a supernatural delivery.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

God is so faithful.

Short story before the delivery.

I have two precious girls and was not planning for another pregnancy cos of financial issues though hubby doesn't mind but hoped it will be a boy so we can close shop.

Started antenatal at 7th month. Scan at 8th month showed a girl. Hubby's mood changed. He stopped assisting me with chores. Gets angry unnecessary. At times he will complain that "we never wanted this pregnancy" " why is it not a boy".

Delivery day.

On the 13th of may, around 8pm contraction started gradually about an hour interval. By 10:40pm, had to call my brother and his wife to take us to the hospital, and our children to sleep in their house.

When we got to the hospital,they said with the way I look and smiling am not in labour yet, i told them I wanted to be here before the serious labour since I dilate fast and it was night.
Went into labour room to be checked. She screamed that I was 8cm dilated. They were all surprised and quickly prepared. Within 10 minutes, I was fully dilated. That was around 11:45pm. The contractions were not lasting long enough to push, so was later placed on drip.
To push problem, I forget how to and begged them to teach me again ooo. Lol

Around 12:30am, after the third push, baby came out.
Nurses said congrats that this my small tummy carried this big baby BOY! She showed me my baby's private part that it's a BOY ooo .I told them how scan saw girl.
When my hubby was told the sex he doubted. When he came in and saw him, he was so happy, came to me that why did I lie to him, I said I didn't that am also surprise.

God is great!

Hubby is so overjoyed that he does almost everything for me now. I am strong now but I still form small weakness at times ooo so he can still do most of the work. Make I relax small cos during pregnancy I suffer with house work alone that I almost lost the baby at 3 months cos of stress.
Later he assist if he feels like not as if he is going to working or business, we are in the house together.
If it was a girl, on my own for be my case but God will still be my strength as usual cos he assisted for a short period after delivery of our two girls, am even surprised he can work like this. My mom is late, his mother is old, so omugwo is not easy.

Thank you all so much.
I appreciate everyone.

God bless us

Congratulations. Your baby name na Obumneke. God be blessed.

Snaagg:
Even if it's determined by the man's sperm, does he have the power to control which chromosome attaches to his wife's egg?

no he certainly doesnt have any power to decide which of his chromosome attaches to the wifey's egg, but the difference between a male child or female child is in balls, not her eggs.

It's not his fault either and it's only natural for a man to desire a 'mini me'

it will never be anyone's fault to have a child... we are not blaming the man, but we have to accept that a child's gender is solely down to a man's sperm... and a woman can do absolutely nothing when it comes to whether the child will be a boy or a girl.

OP you guys should've gone for a medical procedure called "sperm selection" or simply adopt a male child if you don't plan on birthing anymore children..

as much as you are right about the above, adopting a child is just as expensive as raising your own.... and the majority would rather try again to have a biological son (or a girl), than adopt one.

MrBrownJay1:


no he certainly doesnt have any power to decide which of his chromosome attaches to the wifey's egg, but the difference between a male child or female child is in balls, not her eggs.



it will never be anyone's fault to have a child... we are not blaming the man, but we have to accept that a child's gender is solely down to a man's sperm... and a woman can do absolutely nothing when it comes to whether the child will be a boy or a girl.



as much as you are right about the above, adopting a child is just as expensive as raising your own.... and the majority would rather try again to have a biological son (or a girl), than adopt one.

You wrong the determinant of the sex of the baby is down to luck and God.
The reason I said this is because neither can the man or the woman control the X or Y chromoso.... when sperm is deposited. , nor can they 100% control the acidic or alkaline nature of the virgina nor the position of the egg at the time of intercourse

nameoh:
You wrong the determinant of the sex of the baby is down to luck and God.
The reason I said this is because neither can the man or the woman control the X or Y chromoso.... when sperm is deposited. , nor can they 100% control the acidic or alkaline nature of the virgina nor the position of the egg at the time of intercourse

i beg to differ... a man's gene has a bigger part to play here... thats why some families have only boys (or girls), and this runs from brothers to brothers or fathers with only girls etc

if a woman can only bring X chromosomes to the table and you need a Y to make a boy, then no matter how we look at it, only a man can make the difference here, and as much as a man cant decide what he will get, if you have 10girls or 10boys, then there is only one person you can blame for that (as this has nothing to do with luck). 50/50 is luck, but if you have +5 children of the same sex (like many parents out there), then this is no more luck. your DNA/genes are at play here... and like the OP, the husband shouldnt be mad at wifey!

blank:


Congratulations. Your baby name na Obumneke. God be blessed.

Abi ooo. Thanks dear