stormborn28:
thanks for the advice... I must prepare like the Spartans

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

HarunaWest:
Sorry to say but if I were in your shoes, that slap will land on her cheeks.
I hate when people don't appreciate someone's efforts.
If she want to live flamboyantly, then she should learn to make her own money. I won't take an insult on my person from someone that isnt contributing to my development.
Don't apologize for slapping her, just lock up. You are the man of the house not the other way round.
However, if she doesn't deem it fit to apologize to you, just dey look am.
If you dare apologize, you will kuku loose the remaining small respect that she has for you cos from look of things that woman has been brainwashed by material stuff. Cheers

ejimatic:
. I see your wife as a person who is being controlled by her friends.Who are her friends? When a woman is influenced by her friends she behaves insatiably to her husband. Ask her what she wants and tell her what you can do within your power and the need for her to cooperate with you.Never ever give her money to travel abroad as she will abandon you for life...Additionally job is hard to find now.So maintain your good job and supporting undertakings too .Do not be stampeded into taking any wrong decision by a woman who appears to be disgruntled and inappreciative of what she has under the influence of bad association.

ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type

xavier047:


Guess you did not read the full info.
Once you are done reading, please respond to the OP with advice on how to help his marriage and if you don't have anything to say, kindly use your data for something you can wrap your head on.

Naija246:
mumu, I for use plank break your head if you said this near me
Spineless man!

ademidedavid:

Exactly what I want to avoid, but I will talk the talk with her tomorrow..... Much gratitude brother

ademidedavid:

She tends to be the best wife and mum if their is money but changes once its the opposite even her mum noticed her mood during this lockdown period.

wany:

You only beat because you feel you are stronger,but be careful many are not alive to tell stories.watch your ego you are warned.

ct2:
best advice so far, if you steal and you get caught you land in jail. Another man will Bleep her, they are all like that.
Any man that thinks his wife loves him his a fool.
Test her by not providing for 2months and see the real Devil you married.

travelland:



It's good know that you work but if you're generous with her and your kid she won't insist that you should hustle for more. I don't want to believe that she's a wicked person as you paint her to be. It's because you're not giving enough and she's probably finding it hard to continue keeping quiet. Most women want their husbands around the house not outdoors all the time unless he's not doing enough financially. Let her also work to cater for her needs too but if you're the stingy type also try adjusting. Stop cautioning with your hands, she's not a Goat

howmarket2:
please I want to advocate something. the type of women we have in our generation isnt the marriage type of women.cant we men also develop. and do as the do, for example once ur wife ask you to over work ur self.u move her out of ur house.or we shouldn't even get married again. just get children.this news about women is too much.well thank God I dont have a gf for now.i ll never open my heart to love again.

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?

travelland:



It's good know that you work but if you're generous with her and your kid she won't insist that you should hustle for more. I don't want to believe that she's a wicked person as you paint her to be. It's because you're not giving enough and she's probably finding it hard to continue keeping quiet. Most women want their husbands around the house not outdoors all the time unless he's not doing enough financially. Let her also work to cater for her needs too but if you're the stingy type also try adjusting. Stop cautioning with your hands, she's not a Goat

Poorboy:


what stops her from going out to hustle since money is easy to make,
didn't you read the part the guy said he is a federal government staff on a 100k+ salary plus other hustle

humilitypays:
I have said it over and over again, 99% of the problems in today marriages is as a result of money and then sex!

Guys don't allow anybody to push you to marry when you are not financially ready and settled because majority of ladies today want a flamboyant life even in marriage....social media have influenced today women, they now live for the gram!

Op, with the kind of life most Nigerian ladies of today want to live in marriage, no federal civil service job without corruption can afford it. How much do they pay most civil servants; NGN250,000 at most for level 12 above which most young people cannot attain until they have approached 50yrs+.


It is not a must to marry. If you cannot find a lady ready to work and till the soil with you to make that billions she wants to enjoy and flaunt, please stay single oh, the world is already overpopulated, we have enough humans so if you no born, its not a big deal!!

If you must marry, marry a working class lady, working class ladies seem to have sense small, more than jobless, unemployed ladies who only sit at home watching TV and fantasising to live flamboyant life like those they spend their whole time watching on TV. Guys stop glorifying unemployed, manner less ladies with wedding ring!!!

Marry financially productive ladies, they understand the pains of making a dime, they appreciate the little you have and are ready to put effort with you to build that dream future, not all those lazy, jobless ladies una de marry all because of big ass and big breast that you will still get bored and tired of after you marry her

Poorboy:
Broke man ,broke man if her father is not broke will she be totally dependent on you.

How old is she?

Is she educated?

Does she have a job?

Is the other sisters married and doing well than you people?

Is she from a wealthy home, like she is used to comfort already?

Which state do you reside?

See you cannot satisfy greed, your wife is a greedy person. How can your wife ask you to look for money for her to travel out then you feel you have a wife.

Work on your emotions don't allow the term wife to make you try to impress, if you put yourself in unnecessary pressure to make money and die before your burial another man will already be sleeping with her. She is the money type.

Tell people the truth and let them know their worth, I once told my fiancee I am not your responsibility, if you can't survive quit.

Don't regret beating her, though I don't subscribe to that.

ademidedavid:

Much gratitude for this piece of advice, I will as much as possible to and amen to the prayer.

KanwuliaExtra:
Still on “STRUGGLE LOVE”!

A thread with a “bemoaning, god-fearing husband las las.

ademidedavid:

Thanks a lot, she's asleep now.....I sincerely appreciate.

nedekid:

Seconded!

ademidedavid:

It was just a slap at her back.....just to caution her because I am not the talking type