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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? (21369 Views)
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Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Oghenerobo2002(m): 12:04pm On May 13, 2020 |
Parents. They make every decision. So success or failure comes as a result of their choices |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by keentola(m): 12:13pm On May 13, 2020 |
Believe it or not, your society has the largest impact of your life. Many of what your parents teach you when you're young will be discarded as you grow up and make new ideas for yourself, but those ideas will be largely influenced by the society/environment and those you have come in contact with. 75% of your life depends on where and when you're born. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by iezeiyida(m): 12:20pm On May 13, 2020 |
gRESEARCHER: You are right to some extent. But I think you can't blame father, mother and society in some cases....rather you blame the child Some children will refuse to succeed no matter what you do.. No mather how you mold or build them, with whatever that is necessary, they'll still fail! I know people who have wise parents that are rich, but failed despite all their sacrifices! I think these set of people have very weird wiring, that constantly engines their strong resistance to success |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by darrellg9: 12:20pm On May 13, 2020 |
buhari is to blame |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Nobody: 12:24pm On May 13, 2020 |
30% parent, 20% teachers, 10% environment, 40% child |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Mouhstorph5(m): 12:32pm On May 13, 2020 |
seedorfg: Well, as much as I concur with your first line, I failed with the rest of the lines.. You see, the earlier we stop the sharing of responsibility in who bring up the children, the better for us. Cause, I'm still wondering how the responsibility of two people could become one just because of gender superiority or inferiority. Or, would you say just because the father his working, reason to glorify is failure in the proper rearing of his children? Is the mother not working? Honestly we need to change our mindset as regards only the mother is responsible for proper upbringing of the child. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by YahwehRocks: 12:32pm On May 13, 2020 |
Family first. Charity begins at home. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by martowskin1(m): 12:35pm On May 13, 2020 |
Eniolakiite: Nope, is a natural thing, except the mother is not stable mentally, or she have other issues that will endanger the child.... Once she is fit, not even finicially , the judge will give her custody and ask the father to support her and get visit. Mothers have great control over kids at their development age, every sensible and expose individual won't ague it, except maybe the feminist in our mix who bring equality to everything |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by martowskin1(m): 12:36pm On May 13, 2020 |
foolbuster: Ok |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Advancedman(m): 12:37pm On May 13, 2020 |
gRESEARCHER: Do society plan to have the child? |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by CodeTemplar: 12:38pm On May 13, 2020 |
EdEdEddy:Is like you came to bash religion. This topic will be incomplete without factoring in spiritual influence which the parents hold key to. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by CodeTemplar: 12:39pm On May 13, 2020 |
EdEdEddy:that's immediate environment. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Mouhstorph5(m): 12:39pm On May 13, 2020 |
gRESEARCHER: 40% Father 40% Mother 20% Society Reason being that, the rectification of the society follows the rectification of family and the unity of the society is a result of unity of the family. I'm an ardent believer that if every family could be up to task in upbringing their wards, society will have little or no influence on the child even though there are other unavoidable societal factors that influence the child. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Mryacks: 12:40pm On May 13, 2020 |
EdEdEddy: A combination of all the factors who listed, but mostly I would say family and environment. The family because it is the first area of socialization and so it influences the mind and behaviour of the child at an early stage. Ofcouse there are exeception to this when some children are being trained well at home but still get influenced by external forces. This is where the second factor comes in (environment/society). The child gets influence further by what is obtainable in those climes and the people (other children, adults, and core values) that is such a child.. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Godi25(m): 12:54pm On May 13, 2020 |
The parent are 100% responsible for a child's upbringing. That's include 50-50 for both parents, no matter how bad a society is, if they parent really take time to study their children and regularly have an open mind interactions with their children, Nothing can destroy their children. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by mywells: 1:05pm On May 13, 2020 |
STEROID MASCULINITY
So what is masculinity?
It’s a willingness to lead, assume responsibility, and be a
self-starter. Masculine men take initiative. It’s an inclination to
despise passivity and do the right thing. It’s a willingness to
stand alone and be unpopular. It is a desire to protect and
provide for one’s family and those who are weak and
disadvantaged. It requires courage, honor, and the willingness
to sacrifice, even if necessary, one’s own life for the good of
others. That’s masculinity.
The world thinks you’re masculine if you’re a street fighter.
The world thinks you’re masculine if you take steroids and
look powerful. But those kinds of activities don’t make you
masculine. You can be the toughest guy on the block and
biggest guy in the gymand still be feminized.
True masculinity is not valued in our culture. It is shunned
and mocked. The media and the academic elite want men who
have been worked on by a vet. They want only hardworking,
driven men who are very, very sensitive. But when those two
planes hit the Twin Towers on September 11, what we
suddenly needed were masculine men. Feminized men don’t
walk into burning buildings. But masculine men do. That’s why
God created men to be masculine.
In our times, men are being feminized not only in the culture . |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by mywells: 1:15pm On May 13, 2020 |
Feminization has different symptoms, just as heart disease has different symptoms. Let me underscore two points that Stephen Clark made earlier. A feminized male is not the same as a man who is effeminate. A feminized male is not a man who is attracted to other men. Feminization is subtler than that. It has to do with the fact that for most of us, women have been the dominant persons in our lives. Our young males are the first people of whom the following can be said: if they are males, they and their fathers and their brothers and sons and all the males they know are overwhelmingly likely to have been reared under the direct domination of females from birth to maturity. No less important is the fact that their mothers and their sisters and their girlfriends and their wives and all of the ladies with whom they have to do have had to do only with males so reared. Most of us have not even noticed this change, nor do we have any realization of its radicality. We certainly do not have any systematic body of speculation on what the significance of so radical a change is or could be. To put the matter as dramatically as possible, we do not even know whether viable human beings can over any long period of time be reared in such a fashion. After all, this has never held true of any substantial proportion of any population for even one generation in the history of the world until the last fifty years. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by mikibash: 1:44pm On May 13, 2020 |
No one is to blame. Reality is often disappointing and hard to accept. Those who are fortunate to have the will make to shape reality in their way are fortunate. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by justli: 1:50pm On May 13, 2020 |
gRESEARCHER: Actually, over 60% of failures has to do with absence of father figure or a weak fatber especially in the life of a male child. Overall the family is primarily responsible for how a child turns out. The confidence of a child to pursue goals, the discipline to stay a tough course to the end, the ability to take initiative on a course , these are all make or break lessons we learn from home. The street on the other hand will teach you toughness. School teaches what it knows how to: impacting knowledge. But the ability to apply that knowledge is what you learn outside school. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by merryossai(m): 1:52pm On May 13, 2020 |
PureGoldh:you are so apt( especially on not apportioning any parents with greater responsibility), I always see people exempt the child of the responsibility of choice...My father use to tell me that: as children we look like our parents(gene n environment) but as adult, we look like our decisions. In summary, our decisions shape our life and who we become. 1 Like |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Lamasta(m): 2:19pm On May 13, 2020 |
Many factors contribute to the failure of a child but mostly rest on the environment and the kind of peer group the child belong to that will determine if the child will be a success or failure others like parental, religion etc are secondary that why I will always emphasize for parents to know the kind of peer group their ward or child is flowing with cos that has a great influence on the child in the future. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by scoundrel(f): 2:31pm On May 13, 2020 |
We’ll blame money since OP asked a rhetorical question. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Eniolakiite(f): 2:48pm On May 13, 2020 |
Not so. The Fathers that are irresponsible, abusive, beat the wives, cheat, have babies here and there are reasons why mothers get custody most times. A judge won’t just give the woman custody cause she is fit. There is nothing like natural thing. There are people whose mother died after birthing them and fathers took care, whichever parent that is present during the growth of the child has influence on the child’s development, and it can be both if they are present. Also There is a reason they are in court and most women win even if the child is already grown because the men have shown signs of irresponsibility and there are times few men win custody too. martowskin1: 2 Likes |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Eniolakiite(f): 3:13pm On May 13, 2020 |
Exactly Absent fathers affect kids in a very negative way. Fathers don’t know how important they are in a child’s growth and development. Both are equally important. More fathers should be responsible and present. justli: 2 Likes |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Eniolakiite(f): 3:15pm On May 13, 2020 |
Yes 50-50 for both parents Godi25: |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by martowskin1(m): 3:33pm On May 13, 2020 |
Eniolakiite: Well am not here to argue it, we are seeing it everyday in our community even in western world.. When it comes to the child. The mother is consider first. I once watch a video on IG, this baby is less than a year old. The parents were playing game, where who won will hit the other in the head with a foam or so. The first three the mother won, she hit the father severally. When the father won and hit the mother , the baby hug the mom and started crying, We have also seen videos of kids where both parents open their arms and ask the kid to come, we know where the baby always run to... U see that bond, is something no one can explain, fathers don't have it with their kids... That development age is where the mother can make or mal that kid. Lastly, look at our social media space, tell me how mother's day and father's day is celebrated.... I hope u can see the difference... because a woman won custody doesn't mean the man us irresponsible and useless . The mothers are first considered b4 the fathers.... U can't just take a child from the mother... When she is fit... She will fight u till grave... This happen in all level of animals.... |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Eniolakiite(f): 3:46pm On May 13, 2020 |
There are many fathers that have had that bond with their daughters and sons. Many good examples out there. More Fathers should work on doing better honestly. Because more mothers are responsible, hence why they are celebrated. We have fathers that deny pregnancy, fathers that won’t provide and be cheating, fathers that beat mothers. That bond can be built with any parent that is present and available. There are people who testified of bonding with the present and caring father more. There have been cases where judges leave the child to even choose who to go with. Some chose the present and responsible parent which can be father or mother. More men should do better and be present in the development phase. Children look up to them even when they think they don’t. A woman will fight because she wants to continue to be responsible and present. More fathers should also do right by the kids. There won’t be custody issues to start with if fathers are present, responsible and available. The duty of the man doesn’t stop after releasing sperm. Men should change the narrative too by doing better. martowskin1: 2 Likes |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by BeLookingIDIOT(m): 3:52pm On May 13, 2020 |
80% of the time, parents. How much you get affected by the outside environment and peer pressure is still in their control. |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by EdwardRandy(m): 4:06pm On May 13, 2020 |
Joshmodest:I beg to differ bro and these are my points; I agree that a man should also be responsible for a child's upbringing, but if we should be honest to ourselves women are naturally closer to their children than men. That emotional attachment that started from the very day she took in, laboured the pregnancy, went into labor and delivered, and even breast fed the baby.. All these create a very strong emotional bond between a mother and her child which men entirely do not experience. Okay let's take a look at the animal world, don't you see how the fowls, female goats, Lioness etc look after and protect their young ones while obvioulsy the males don't give a Bleep? It's also applied to humans, the priority of the man will always be to make sure his wife and children feed fat even if his wife is earning her own millions, he will hardly have time to change diapers or check how many beverages are left in the fridge. The man may help out once in a while, but NATURALLY he will never be more attentive to that than a woman. Lastly most men engage in business trips that can take them away from home for months while the mother is at home with the children, how many men will agree to sit at home changing diapers while the wife goes on a business trip?? And while all these happen the bond between the mother and child(ren) get stronger and thereby the woman tends to have more influence on the child than the man. It's a simple logic, I can go on and give you lots of reasons but make I park my G-wagon for here |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Kamil83(m): 4:16pm On May 13, 2020 |
Re: Who Do We Blame For A Child's Failure? by Nobody: 4:43pm On May 13, 2020 |
Firstly you need to define what you mean by failure. You see,in this life 99% of human beings don’t know where and why we’re here,so what we called success might as well be seen as failure when we/you discover your true purpose. Fools always think that they know it all,but the more the wise know,the more they realise that they don’t know. |
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