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Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Milotus(m): 7:04pm On Jun 07, 2020
Why do u want to tell him? Will telling him improve his intellectual thinking? What do u stand to achieve after telling? The answer to u question are in these questions. Goodluck
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Pzpropertylimit(m): 7:04pm On Jun 07, 2020
He is better than that smart one that will be beating hell out of u .

Love itself it's a fool .
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by rayobaba(m): 7:05pm On Jun 07, 2020
This could help.
Use style to encourage him to be listening to foreign news and local news station that invite analyst during news time.
Some people are only good academically but other aspect is zero.
U don't av to leave him cos of this, maybe each day discuss Wats going on in the world wt him and don't expect he wl magically meet Ur expectations 100% like click of d fingers.

3 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by eltata(m): 7:05pm On Jun 07, 2020
Hathor5:


It does not work that way. When we first fall in love, we fall in love with the image of the person, which is 80% the making of our fantasy because we don't know know the person yet and don't have the full true picture of them. As we discover their true self we stay in love, fall deeper or fall out.
Then that is not love. Love is a choice and when you uphold it, there is no going back. You can only lust about physical attributes

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Macon1212: 7:06pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Your write up is confusing you said in the second paragraph he communicates effectively
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Onliie(m): 7:06pm On Jun 07, 2020
It's likely he's too smart for your level. Just try to see his perspective. He may be in higher dimension

4 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by ZooOga: 7:06pm On Jun 07, 2020
op is obviously getting some good dack and she's still not satisfied and wants more out of the poor broda. cheesy
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by SmartyPants(m): 7:07pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Buy books for him. If he improves then fine, if not, leave. Love is not a do or die affair at least not before marriage.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by macho44(m): 7:07pm On Jun 07, 2020
SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.
Truly, you are a "SweetCUNT"
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by teabully(m): 7:08pm On Jun 07, 2020
Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t leave a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his response with your question and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the right answer.

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and answer to any question you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact answer you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.
wow, u have said it all, are u a relationship expert
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by FlordFlorez(m): 7:08pm On Jun 07, 2020
No human is perfect. The bests are just near perfection. Even u urself isn't perfect. Just take that as his weakness and focus on areas where he's better. U can as well help him grow in that area u mentioned.

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 7:08pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think
Don't jump into conclusion that he is not smart...i been there before.

It is not something you can change without making him to start having mixed feelings about you. Just let him be for now, he is only trying to avoid mistakes that will hurt you....i am sure very soon he will come out of his shell and start being that smart guy that you need in your live.

Secondly, it is a two way thing....it either you are too smart for him and not that he is not smart.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by MrNipplesLover(m): 7:09pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls




Lawwwwwwwwd. grin grin

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by iamwhat: 7:09pm On Jun 07, 2020
I understand what you're going through, it's super frustrating as I can relate perfectly.
All you need to do is to stair the urge in him to improve himself .... Send him links to articles you'll like him to read, share videos and documentary with him and gradually he'll pick up.

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Iamgrey5(m): 7:09pm On Jun 07, 2020
Juliusmalema:



Is your boyfriend Iamgrey5.?
Mr man stop mentioning me everywhere, I am not the cause of your frustration cheesy
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by jaxxy(m): 7:10pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

It is very rare for a human being to not have Smtn to discuss on a topic unless he is an extreme introvert or a docile person or u don’t click or he’s not so into u. Or u haven’t found the right topic that interests him. Start from there.

Does he have conversations with anybody else either physically or on Fone? How long does that take?


Solution: if u having sex with him stop immediately, he wil wake up and smell the coffee. Atleast he will now have a conversation about Smtn to get ur attention even if it’s why no more sex conversation.

I have ended and refused to take relationships to the next level because of poor conversation. It’s not everytime romance. Smtmes u want to stimulate ur partners thinking and vice Versa. 100% important for me.

4 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by remzytimer: 7:10pm On Jun 07, 2020
He's not smart when having a conversation, please tell us how smart he's on the bed �
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Blackmoran(m): 7:10pm On Jun 07, 2020
Do you want a relationship or a co debatetor. As a guy, want I want from a girl are all is feminine trait I don't want to get home and be talking about politics or geography, I got my guys to do that with.... After a long day at work and stress and argument I want to get back home to peace and quietness I don't want debate....

6 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Skmoda360(m): 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
SweetCunt97:
If u love him, simply let it go. Find another intelligent person to gist current affairs with.
Say hallelujah....
Madam has answer your question....op go and sin no more erm sorry go and divorce your bf, oh my God, go and break up with him....whatever it is.....it's now your problem oooo undecided tongue
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by titu123: 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by nuele(m): 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
I upvote this.

Amotolongbo:
Some people are like that, while having a conversation with people, they aren’t so up and sound as they are expected to be. But when they are on their own meditating and strategizing, they come out with a near perfect answers and solutions.

Please don’t tell him bluntly if you know you are tired being with him and wanna quit the relationship. Don’t leave a bad blood behind while saying goodbye

Honestly @dear OP, perhaps you are the swift and sound type in reasoning, while your partner is a very relatively sluggish one in intellectual reasoning, there will surely be problem in synchronizing his response with your question and expectations because he may need extra time to think over it before he can give you the right answer.

Another problem I can see in this kinda relationship is that you seem to be the type that already have and answer to any question you ask your partner and expecting him to give that exact answer you have in mind. No, things don’t work that way. We are all products of different backgrounds, families and environments. This makes us to give different opinions and responses to the same interviews and questions.

You can also help him, developing interest in many fields such as politics, sports, entertainment et al. For example, listening to the news together and watching the news and discussing on political issues together.

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by illicit(m): 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
I don't see any problem here
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by suogal(f): 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he [b]cannot hold a conversation [/b]beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Sis the bolden points are contradictory
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by AududuNine11: 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
Snipespeter:
This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all.
You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh
. LMAO
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Shizzyguy: 7:11pm On Jun 07, 2020
If you look deeper, the foundation of that relationship was not built on friendship but something else. They never really developed the friendship part of the relationship and now that the mushi mushi period is over, she don realize say na Q & A conversations dem dey have since. They can still work things out though but they must both commit to it. And being smart or not has nothing to do with the issue on ground.

1 Like

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by EgunMogaji2: 7:12pm On Jun 07, 2020
Please tell him soonest so that he can go and find a more deserving girlfriend and enter a more rewarding relationship . Thanks.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Karlifate: 7:12pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls
You sef no try. Na Sylvester Stallone.

3 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by lanchy: 7:12pm On Jun 07, 2020
He might be depressed, thus has little interest in most things hence the half arsed answers, either that or he has something really bothering him. As you described he seems lethargic hence why I first mentioned depression, let me tell you something this depression affects a lot more Nigerians than we think, and is nothing to be ashamed of.

Most Nigerians came from a pressure cooker environment which has affected them profoundly, a lot had dreams and aspirations they thought would have been achieved in their 20's but still chasing them in their 40's of no fault of theirs, some have resorted to serious ahem "crime"........others rack their mind continuously like a SUPER computer thinking day and night on how to get out of a situation, they are SMARTER than, yes! Educated Nigerians doing jobs that are beneath their intellectual capacity, this is torture to an active mind.....they may as well be in prison!

This is a hard question, you have put forward, I can only say this, any man worth anything in life usually has the support of a strong woman, directly or indirectly, same goes for women.

2 Likes

Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Iamgrey5(m): 7:13pm On Jun 07, 2020
Ariza:
Lobatan grin grin
Don't mind him jare
He is trolling me because of some argument in the politics section.
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Karlifate: 7:13pm On Jun 07, 2020
Cynosuree, when is his birthday (day & month only)?
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Iceyjayz: 7:13pm On Jun 07, 2020
Nonsense
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Yxxx: 7:15pm On Jun 07, 2020
jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

Tha rambo part got me rolling grin

Any op can I have his number. I have been too serious of lately wink

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