Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,754,626 members, 6,543,530 topics. Date: Monday, 18 October 2021 at 09:50 AM

My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. - Romance (15) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. (60936 Views)

My Boyfriend Wants Me To Sign Terms And Conditions Before Marriage / My Boyfriend Wants Me To / PLEASE HELP! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Wash His Clothes, What Should I Do? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) ... (26) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 6:50am On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

.

Give him a time-limited ultimatum. Durring that time act aloof and stop having sex with him.
Meanwhile stop being so desperate - you are only 26! Desperation is always a turn-off.
I can smell.your desperation, and I am sure so can he

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Shormiey(m): 6:51am On Jun 11, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Yes. That's y u men fall for pretenders.. Later u coming crying "I never knew"... Lolz
I dey relationship jawre...and she is a good girl

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 6:53am On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
It's going to be hard. Thanks dear
yes it will be hard,what breakup isn't. But it gets better with time. I can assure you

For me the best way to get over a breakup is to cry the first night and be angry from then on.

You wasted two years on this guy before he told you his real intentions. That's a whole master's degree dear. You used the equivalent of a master's degree to date that nigga. Time you can never get back.

May time wasters avoid you like the plague in Jesus name. Pls go in peace, you know what to do. If you are in Nigeria and need someone to talk to or someone to just listen. My number is in my siggy.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by HRMK: 6:53am On Jun 11, 2020
MOnkeyBabe:
you look like all these people that poSt STAMP
YES,LIKE UR PARENTS IN THE VILLAGES!

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Swissgoldtrader(f): 6:55am On Jun 11, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:
Lose your good man?

In all honesty, he's not as good as you make him out to be.


No responsible person will opt in for babymamaism.


So paddle your boat elsewhere.

Current generation are so scared of commitment. They want all the goodies of a thing but not the baggage that comes with it

Excuse me ma!!!! Why must marriages have baggages Why not leave your baggages at your parents and start a new Journey
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:56am On Jun 11, 2020
Shormiey:

I dey relationship jawre...and she is a good girl
Good for you.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Ade3131: 6:56am On Jun 11, 2020
@Confusedgirl869

I hope you read the comment made by this wonderful man below. I'm recommending you take his advice wholeheartedly bcuz he somehow touched on my story without knowing me. Am currently living in regrets of my past mistake with my ex. If only I had done more, if only I had showed her kind of zeal for marriage at the time....if only I had known I will be the one who can't live without her.

My dear, just like am counting my losses, your Mr. Perfect guy will remember you when you're long gone in your God destined husband's house seeping tea with honey. He will most likely realize all this thought of "baby mama" thing as just being childish.

There comes a time in a man's life when all that matters to him is family....to see and have people around him that he can call his own. He thinks he will remain a youngman forever. Old age will teach him the lesson of his life but trust me it will be too late. And what makes it worse at that age is being in the company of those he detest but can't confront them to tell them of his dislike for them when he realizes he's married the wrong person.

Like I tell people, life is a bad teacher. You fail but never get the opportunity to right your wrongs. It's just one life. Get it right now or regret every moment of your life. Please go for someone who shares your values about life, particularly those of marriage and family. Peace

manontree:
I have seen some situations where a couple needed advise from me. The lady said, Doc, I cant live without him. The man said, God, she is choking the life out of me. I simply want my space

A few years later, both were wrong. The lady not only moved on to a better man and better things, he realized he is the one that couldnt live without her and desperately came to me to help him win her back

You see, no man that respects you (which to me is a cardinal point in a good marriage) would ever wish this on you. He clearly dont value you nor desire being with you for life. In short, you are a stop gap to finding his life mate. Ask yourself, wont he plead for marriage the moment he sees that woman that he cant do without?

Another point, few women can give what you give. You dont ask for money, you take care of things, you love him...That's scarce commodity in today's women. If you have all these, except you look like a whale, there would literally be a long queue seeking your attention. Why settle for this?

Like someone said earlier and like the story of the couple above, a few years down the line and you would look back at this with horror about the mistake you nearly made. For truly he is a mistake

Last shot: For those slating marriage, I have been married for almost two decades, as are my friends. Too numerous to mention. Everyone is having a ball. For that one bad marriage that social media highlights, there are thousands, yes thousands, of amazing unions. Keep deceiving yourselves. Marriage is this and that. Like you arent a product of one

4 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:56am On Jun 11, 2020
Igbojihadist:
how much is it?
How much is what
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 6:57am On Jun 11, 2020
LINTUNE:
i swear , especially sweett97
Lolzzz, is that so?
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by roliks99(f): 6:57am On Jun 11, 2020
Pls leave while you can,I know it's not easy but you have to put your happiness first,even if you convince him to settle with you,whenever you guys have issue he will always refer to how you forced him to marry you out of his own will even in front of the children. God will provide you your own husband

2 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 7:00am On Jun 11, 2020
MedicH:


The man that gets tied to these two must have committed a lot of atrocities and unimaginable sins that God would send him this kind of punishment of God. If the man was Holy like I'm trying to be, God won't send him HIS punishment.
Chasing clout... You just wan chook mouth to sound intelligent upon that no one even dashed you 1 like! Ofu like you no see!
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 7:01am On Jun 11, 2020
Roon9:


Bro that would be really unfortunate
Better sell ur solar panel and don't corroborate nonsense. A woman speaks out she's a monster huh? I piss on pussy Niggahs, no mercy for pussy ass Niggahs OK.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by SweetCunt97(f): 7:02am On Jun 11, 2020
Kenneth10110:



Add Onyi too
Add your name first. Or you think i don't know what you did last summer?
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by AK481(m): 7:03am On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.
If you have all this sweet and wonderful attitude, you deserve better , pm me .
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Nobody: 7:03am On Jun 11, 2020
I'm tired of preaching to dumb girls..
He's a good man blabla
.
... You think say man waist dey pay bills??..continue wasting your youthful years with a Dusty!...

Marry him if he doesn't want to marry you undecided

Mtcheewwwwwwwww!

2 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Sarang(f): 7:05am On Jun 11, 2020
Nairaland is the worst place to ever ask for advice

E be like say Na only kids full this space.. haba!
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 7:06am On Jun 11, 2020
MOnkeyBabe:
tick tock. You have passed the most important message. Ovulation slows Down 30's and comPliCAtions occur the most DuRinG PReGnAnCy

Not true. The time it starts declining and the rate at which it declines, vary widely in women, but many many women have healthy babies into their 40s and 50s. There is also option of freezing your eggs
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by babadee1(m): 7:07am On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

It's simple my dear. If you cannot change his mind then you need to move on. You're young enough to find plenty of potential suitors.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Tadeknkeepcalm: 7:07am On Jun 11, 2020
Swissgoldtrader:


Excuse me ma!!!! Why must marriages have baggages Why not leave your baggages at your parents and start a new Journey
Actually sir.


By "baggage" I mean responsibility, I mean sacrifices. But even with your interpretation of "baggage" ( I suppose you think I meant fault), still there's no marriage that is all rosy. But of course there's a degree to that baggage

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by luvyaself95(m): 7:07am On Jun 11, 2020
OP your guy na person wey we dey call sabi Guy he knows what he wants and his also doing what best for him.
if you can't be his baby mama there is a lot of guys that want to marry you will eventually see one afterall sebi na marriage you want.

3 Likes

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by akanbiaa(m): 7:11am On Jun 11, 2020
He is either married or already had a court wedding with another person or has someone he is planning to Wed which is not you(perhaps you already provide him with all the services a woman would have provided him with in marriage.) or he is not ready to be responsible, he wants to flirt and do what ever he likes without any one questioning him(sign of immaturity and irresponsibility).
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Roon9(m): 7:12am On Jun 11, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Better sell ur solar panel and don't corroborate nonsense. A woman speaks out she's a monster huh? I piss on pussy Niggahs, no mercy for pussy ass Niggahs OK.


Lols! Ok ma
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by rottennaija(m): 7:12am On Jun 11, 2020
Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

There is no point in trying to talk to him on this subject any more. It seems he has a mind of his own in this issue and trying to persuade him otherwise will only make you appear desperate and you know how desperate people come across to us both men and female.

The truth is marriage changes people (both to the good and others to the bad), so does breakups and heartbreaks. My point of view is, try leaving him, see what happens. It has a way of changing people too, either to the good or bad, you will never know until you do.

It might not be an instant change. It might take weeks, even months for the other party to know what he had and lost. But it takes courage and eventually, if he truly loved you, after weeks or months, his brain might reset.

And please, my advise isn't some sort of emotional blackmail. We don't like the same thing. His views is shaped by his experiences and this has shaken him to take his stand while in your own case, you whether the storm and came up refined to want a better life for your kids. It's all good.

But you have to make a decision. 2 years of dating someone is enough to know if you want to spend a lifetime together or not.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by PoliteActivist: 7:18am On Jun 11, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
yes it will be hard,what breakup isn't. But it gets better with time. I can assure you

For me the best way to get over a breakup is to cry the first night and be angry from then on.

You wasted two years on this guy before he told you his real intentions. That's a whole master's degree dear. You used the equivalent of a master's degree to date that nigga. Time you can never get back.

May time wasters avoid you like the plague in Jesus name. Pls go in peace, you know what to do. If you are in Nigeria and need someone to talk to or someone to just listen. My number is in my siggy.

So if u enjoy sex and a relationship with someone, it is a waste of time unless it leads to marriage??! That word, marriage, should be removed from the lexicon so women can fully enjoy sex and relationships for themselves, without always marriage in view.
Forgetting there is divorce, as if marriage guarantees anything

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Diweng(m): 7:20am On Jun 11, 2020
If you want marriage and he want you to be his baby mama simply kukuma go and get another guy, by the way you are still young.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by yassjib: 7:22am On Jun 11, 2020
Dicktion:
Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies cheesy hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniumlady or sweetcunt97 undecided
Even your village people will pray for your soul embarassed
Bros this your comments tire me I no fit cry

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by ekhai(m): 7:24am On Jun 11, 2020
I DON'T BLAME HIM BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS A SCAM. THE ONLY LOVE STILL EXISTING TODAY IS THE LOVE OF GOD FOR HUMANITY. EVERY OTHER LOVE IS CONDITIONAL. REMOVE THAT FAVOURABLE CONDITION AND SEE HOW THAT LOVE WILL CRASH LIKE A PACK OF CARDS.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by murphyibiam15(m): 7:26am On Jun 11, 2020
Nelsonnwagbo:
may it befall ur sisters
What concerns his sisters here...you guys should learn not to attack people personally..is a virtue..if u don't like his comments move on

1 Like

Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Everrest9(m): 7:26am On Jun 11, 2020
He's a coward, he doesn't want to be responsible at the age of 35. You better leave him and pray to God to give you your husband before he useless all your time. People are getting married every weekend and he's afraid of getting married with his girlfriend of two years and he has been fuvking you all these while. Leave him, he will regret it when he grow old than this and couldn't secure better woman again.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by Hanatunde(f): 7:28am On Jun 11, 2020
Please stop waisting your time with him,move on with your life, there are many men out there looking for whom to marry to avoid had I know. The earlier better for you.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by RTSC: 7:28am On Jun 11, 2020
Mumu girl.

The thing you should use your head for is what you are disturbing us with.

What do you use your head for?

Many unfortunate women don't even get to have this kind of clarity from their boyfriend.
They just end up wasting years in a relationship.

You are lucky and you still want to waste it.

Devil will catch you and pregnancy will enter.

Then you will know what you have done to yourself.
Re: My Boyfriend Wants Me To Be A Baby Mama. Says He's Scared Of Marriage. by APOPTOSIS(m): 7:29am On Jun 11, 2020
RTSC:
Mumu girl.

The thing you should use your head for is what you are disturbing us with.

What do you use your head for?

Many unfortunate women don't even get to have this kind of clarity from their boyfriend.
They just end up wasting years in a relationship.

You are lucky and you still want to waste it.

Devil will catch you and pregnancy will enter.

Then you will know what you have done to yourself.
Must you Insult, to make points..?
Are we this heartless..?

(1) (2) (3) ... (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) ... (26) (Reply)

Guy Cries Out After Lady Tricked Him Into Giving Her "Head" While On Her Period! / My Girlfriend Is Asking For Something That's Against My Rules. / Don't Know What To Do

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2021 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 218
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.