YoungandDepress:
My story is quite a sad and long one.
I wish I could write it all out. My life has been a terrible mess.
Where did it go wrong for me, I have no idea.

I am writing with so much emotion, my heart is full and heavy.
Life is bitter.

I am a 23 years old guy.
My life all started to go in the negative direction when I gained admission at age 16.
A 16 years old boy in the university, so much freedom and exposure.
I messed up my life, I became addicted to bet9ja virtual gambling I lost focus, Gambling killed me, I started failing exams, at the end I dropped out without my parents Knowing, but the truth came out when I was supposed to graduate, I could not hide it anymore. I told them the truth, my parents forgave me like the prodigal son.

They still believed in me especially my mom, she keeps reminding me of how intelligent I used to be.

Well I'm not here to talk about my past life but here to talk about how it is still affecting me today.

Ever since I started university all over again, I have been miserable and frustrated. Nothing has been working in my favour. I'm currently now in 200level hoping to graduate before 25.
All my mates I started with have done their NYSC.

I'm still stuck in the same stage.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm young, broke and depressed. I get irritated over little things. I feel disgust at how I uselessed my youthful life. How gambling destroyed me.

By the grace of whichever god exists, I am no longer addicted to gambling. I have quit the addiction for almost a year now but nothing changed, I still feel miserable. I hate having people around me even my family members including my mom.

I have no true friends. Nobody checks on me, nobody calls me.

At this age, I can't boast of having 500 naira in my account.
I'm broke and miserable.

I have started hating God and question my belief in God. I hate Sunday's. I hate hearing about God, I don't blame God for my troubles but I'm angry at the fact that despite my parents being dedicated Christians, things are not working well in my family.
My elder ones are graduates, but no solid job yet.

Only my eldest brother who is doing quite well now and I thank God for his life but we don't talk. I can't remember the last time I called him on phone. They don't hate me, I hate myself.
I have disappointed them a lot.


I just lost the last #1000 I had in my life today and I cried. The money fell out my pocket when I went to get something.

At 23 years, I have no idea what I will do with my future.
I still live with my parents and I have never rented an apartment of my own even in school.

What is wrong with me, why am I miserable?

I have no good clothes. My clothes are all worn out.
I have nothing doing, i live off my parents.

Since schools were shut down, I have been at home doing nothing.
Completely broke, damaged and miserable.

Can my life be any better. What do I do. I am depressed.
I keep asking myself these questions but there
Seem to be no answer.

poiunt:
Your approach to life is surprising... You are just 23 years of age...lot of time to explore life and get to know what works for you.

all over the world gambling is addictive..thank god, you know it is at 23 years old....my friend buckle yourself up..finish your education...you still have lot of things upward for you...why waste your youthful age regretting about nothing..move on

YoungandDepress:
My story is quite a sad and long one.
I wish I could write it all out. My life has been a terrible mess.
Where did it go wrong for me, I have no idea.

I am writing with so much emotion, my heart is full and heavy.
Life is bitter.

I am a 23 years old guy.
My life all started to go in the negative direction when I gained admission at age 16.
A 16 years old boy in the university, so much freedom and exposure.
I messed up my life, I became addicted to bet9ja virtual gambling I lost focus, Gambling killed me, I started failing exams, at the end I dropped out without my parents Knowing, but the truth came out when I was supposed to graduate, I could not hide it anymore. I told them the truth, my parents forgave me like the prodigal son.

They still believed in me especially my mom, she keeps reminding me of how intelligent I used to be.

Well I'm not here to talk about my past life but here to talk about how it is still affecting me today.

Ever since I started university all over again, I have been miserable and frustrated. Nothing has been working in my favour. I'm currently now in 200level hoping to graduate before 25.
All my mates I started with have done their NYSC.

I'm still stuck in the same stage.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm young, broke and depressed. I get irritated over little things. I feel disgust at how I uselessed my youthful life. How gambling destroyed me.

By the grace of whichever god exists, I am no longer addicted to gambling. I have quit the addiction for almost a year now but nothing changed, I still feel miserable. I hate having people around me even my family members including my mom.

I have no true friends. Nobody checks on me, nobody calls me.

At this age, I can't boast of having 500 naira in my account.
I'm broke and miserable.

I have started hating God and question my belief in God. I hate Sunday's. I hate hearing about God, I don't blame God for my troubles but I'm angry at the fact that despite my parents being dedicated Christians, things are not working well in my family.
My elder ones are graduates, but no solid job yet.

Only my eldest brother who is doing quite well now and I thank God for his life but we don't talk. I can't remember the last time I called him on phone. They don't hate me, I hate myself.
I have disappointed them a lot.


I just lost the last #1000 I had in my life today and I cried. The money fell out my pocket when I went to get something.

At 23 years, I have no idea what I will do with my future.
I still live with my parents and I have never rented an apartment of my own even in school.

What is wrong with me, why am I miserable?

I have no good clothes. My clothes are all worn out.
I have nothing doing, i live off my parents.

Since schools were shut down, I have been at home doing nothing.
Completely broke, damaged and miserable.

Can my life be any better. What do I do. I am depressed.
I keep asking myself these questions but there
Seem to be no answer.

randomShek:
I’d say you should focus on what you want choose to be, not what society wants you to be. The problem we have nowadays is that everybody wants to “belong” and live “that” life.

Life isn’t fair. The “happy” (more like fake) life you see on social media isn’t the full story. You’re you. You should be in charge of your fate and not “moving with the wind”

Stop comparing yourself to others.
Stop pressuring yourself to live up to the standards people set for you.
Stop pushing for only materialistic stuffs.
Stop caring about people’s opinion of you.
Stop living in the past.
Stop being hard on yourself.
Stop with the pessimistic thoughts

Life is too short for that. It only leads to depression and a miserable life (even with a fat account) and the sooner you lift your head and see beyond the facade of the world around you, the sooner you’d realize the limitless opportunities around you that can make you happier and make life a blessing.

All’s in the past so stop thinking, shut out all the “noise” no matter how distracting, set a goal and take a step. Even the tiniest can be very fulfilling if you set your sights right.

I hope things work out well for you ��

Davidtolu1:
Try learning how write code ...

GboyegaD:
To all those who have tried reaching out to him to encourage him, you guys are the MVP.

OP, just calm yourself and remind yourself that your race is against yourself and not others.

Dohyn3:




Hello sir,

I know this post wasn't directed at me but I'm also a student and a writer. I would very much appreciate the opportunity to make added incentives for myself during this lockdown with my passion.

Thanks

YoungandDepress:
My story is quite a sad and long one.
I wish I could write it all out. My life has been a terrible mess.
Where did it go wrong for me, I have no idea.

I am writing with so much emotion, my heart is full and heavy.
Life is bitter.

I am a 23 years old guy.
My life all started to go in the negative direction when I gained admission at age 16.
A 16 years old boy in the university, so much freedom and exposure.
I messed up my life, I became addicted to bet9ja virtual gambling I lost focus, Gambling killed me, I started failing exams, at the end I dropped out without my parents Knowing, but the truth came out when I was supposed to graduate, I could not hide it anymore. I told them the truth, my parents forgave me like the prodigal son.

They still believed in me especially my mom, she keeps reminding me of how intelligent I used to be.

Well I'm not here to talk about my past life but here to talk about how it is still affecting me today.

Ever since I started university all over again, I have been miserable and frustrated. Nothing has been working in my favour. I'm currently now in 200level hoping to graduate before 25.
All my mates I started with have done their NYSC.

I'm still stuck in the same stage.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I'm young, broke and depressed. I get irritated over little things. I feel disgust at how I uselessed my youthful life. How gambling destroyed me.

By the grace of whichever god exists, I am no longer addicted to gambling. I have quit the addiction for almost a year now but nothing changed, I still feel miserable. I hate having people around me even my family members including my mom.

I have no true friends. Nobody checks on me, nobody calls me.

At this age, I can't boast of having 500 naira in my account.
I'm broke and miserable.

I have started hating God and question my belief in God. I hate Sunday's. I hate hearing about God, I don't blame God for my troubles but I'm angry at the fact that despite my parents being dedicated Christians, things are not working well in my family.
My elder ones are graduates, but no solid job yet.

Only my eldest brother who is doing quite well now and I thank God for his life but we don't talk. I can't remember the last time I called him on phone. They don't hate me, I hate myself.
I have disappointed them a lot.


I just lost the last #1000 I had in my life today and I cried. The money fell out my pocket when I went to get something.

At 23 years, I have no idea what I will do with my future.
I still live with my parents and I have never rented an apartment of my own even in school.

What is wrong with me, why am I miserable?

I have no good clothes. My clothes are all worn out.
I have nothing doing, i live off my parents.

Since schools were shut down, I have been at home doing nothing.
Completely broke, damaged and miserable.

Can my life be any better. What do I do. I am depressed.
I keep asking myself these questions but there
Seem to be no answer.

Dannonye:
We need a support group

Xavfra:



Counsel how you dey....

Ubi jus ibi remedium

internationalman:
All I have to say is quit masturbation...

manjaid:

I will support your advise on the coaching aspect,when I was at higher institution ,at every school break .I go round my area ,looking for coaching centers,looking for any center that will take me as a teacher .I taught primary school student ,I thought secondary school student,physics,maths and sciences.i was never idle,when I was at the University,I made photocopy for students .I gathered past questions compiled it and sold to my mates ,I gathered past questions even for people in various departments and when ever people needed past question,they looked for me .I did this to survive ,I wished I never had to Hussle that way ,this hustling spirit made people to identify with me .once you are determined ,things will come to you easily.i go out daily when I was young to look for jobs .most niherians are without any skill,look for skill to acquire .if you don't have money to acquire skills ,look for people who can invest in your life by providing you with money to get skills .discuss what you want to achieve with positive people who can help.i am over 30 years and I am still hustling ,even sometimes I get broke despite not living in naija .even the rich get broke lol.there is no problem in being broke but remaining perpetually broke is the problem lol






As much as I can relate to your story,I feel yours is even better than mine.What are the solutions you need?1-You need to start talking to your elder brother who you said is quite okay.2-Try and be engaged with something:If you're bright,coaching a subject you're good at will help.3-Mend your ways with God too.I am telling you mine is more pathetic and I am still managing to live.

YoungandDepress:

I know the sins of my past are catching up with me. Karma is hitting me from all directions.
I see my mates riding nice cars, living in their rented apartment, I cry.

Most of my classmates I finished secondary school with are now responsible graduates and here I am, stuck in 200level.

I see them in the street and I hide myself in shame and disgrace because I can't answer the catching up questions.

I still ask 500 naira from my parents just to go out.

I stayed through out the month of June without earning even one thousand naira by myself.

Sometimes I curse the day I was born and why I came through a mid level family and not a rich family.

God has abandoned me. I can't remember the last time I prayed. Not that I even care now.
I am turning into an atheist because of my frustrations.

Sometimes I think why not just die and end it all, I mean we are all going to die one day so what is the point, but then I think of my family and the shame it will bring upon them and at the same time I think what if I die and heaven and hell is real. It's funny how the thought of hell keeps me going and trying to do good with my life when I don't really believe in God anymore.


Safe to say, my suicidal tendencies are very low to non existent but I hope I have the courage to keep pushing. I hope one day, I just don't loose it completely.

Even my phone I am using to type this has a damaged screen which I'm half managing but it is what it is, I have no funds to fix it and no relative to help.

I mean I'm just here watching the days go by, taking evening walks around the neighborhood and thinking how my life would have been if I didn't mess it up or did all these happen to me so I can be a testimony to others if life decides to smile on me?
I have no idea.

I'M JUST A YOUNG, BROKE, MISERABLE AND DEPRESSED MAN.

I PRAY MY SOUL FINDS THE PEACE THAT IT DESPERATELY SEEKS.


I just wanted to table my emotions here and vent out all the frustrations in my head because I have no one to talk deep with me. I hope to find little relief and seek solace in the peace of others.