You had enough time (almost 2yrs) to plan for this event. You could have paid someone to make the soups knowing the kind of wife you have. Now, last minute, how do we settle this matter?

We don't know if you have done anything previously that is causing this kind of reaction from your wife. We are only relying on what you are telling us.

Anyway, op, just try to manage the situation as best as you can. Try to understand why she is refusing and take a cue from there.

Dis woman is playing wit her marriage oooh. I know why she's doing this, she knows d guy is a church guy that's why. Try dis rubbish wit rugged guys na n see if dis end time girls no go chance u.

Originalsly:


After all.... would be better if we can hear her side. It must be something that she is soooo against it. At least last time he pounded yams.... and I guess he did all the tastings.... he didn't mention about helping with the after feast clean up! Maybe he didn't let them know she was the one that prepared the finger licking dishes.... maybe he said we... and knowing women.... their glory is not to be shared! Is something did not go down well with her.

He actually wrote it there boldly that he told the guests that his wife did all the cooking and that they didn't even know he was the one that did the pounding and all.

The reason we think there must be something is because it sounds ridiculous that a woman could do it. But believe me, it's very possible. Girls generally do this to "nice" men. The more you try to please them, the more they demand.

Sebgajere:
Dis woman is playing wit her marriage oooh. I know why she's doing this, she knows d guy is a church guy that's why. Try dis rubbish wit rugged guys na n see if dis end time girls no go chance u.

That's what "responsible" guys go through. Guys that are afraid of being seeing as bad.
Let her try it with a street guy na, na him side chics go come make the meals right there in their house and there's nothing she will do.

GoldenVivi:
Use sweet words for her. Beg her. Am sure she will accept.

Ojodu Berger ni. Of course what will a female say before

Ygrette:


You can't get her to do no shit! What's wrong with you men atimes? You think women are slaves or that they belong in the kitchen and anything relating to that must be delegated to them?

What's your wife's business with your get- together? And who told you you don't have a choice on whether to host or not? Must you live a fake life for church?

When your wife got married to you, she may have signed up for a lifetime of rendering catering services to her family, yes, but never for the whole village.

Oga, better contract the job to a caterer. If madam says she wouldn't do it, so be it.

You men can be heartless sometimes esp entitled husbands..like wtf?

I hope you're not married, if not, you'll suffer your marriage.

Nooil:



Uyi says you're a troll, maybe. But let me advise. You told your wife to cook and serve a guest of 20 when she was 5 months pregnant.

Do you know why she accepted then? She was a new bride, eager to do whatever will please her husband. But do you know the effect that cooking had on her both physically and psychologically?

Now every time she remembers that cooking, not only does she remember how you were inconsiderate in asking her to cook for such number of people with her five months of pregnancy, she probably also have shivers running down her spine when she remembers the stress she went through.

The main reason why she is refusing now is the psychological stress. She remembers the cooking as unpleasant and stressful. And she is not willing to walk that path again.

What to do?

Apologize. Let her know how sorry you are for letting her to cook when she was heavily pregnant.

Let her know that you only need her to price stuff when you go to the market.

Let her know you only need her to add the ingredients to the soup.

Let her know you'll wash the pots and plates before and after cooking.

Let her know you'll buy her Coldstone ice cream (or whatever relaxes her) after cooking.

Let her know you're too broke to afford a caterer. Talk softly to women if you need something from them.

If you're too proud, go and hire a caterer.

Uyai doesnt know a troll even if the troll is sitting opposite her.

In all honesty, she told me of it the first night after she cooked.

SirMichael1:


Uyai doesnt know a troll even if the troll is sitting opposite her.

In all honesty, she told me of it the first night after she cooked.

Then you need to revisit that moment and help her heal.

my question is who owns the house or who pays the current rent for the house? .i perceive ur wife either owns the house or pays the current rest and she is findling ways to remind u that u are presently not the husband and should mind urself by not not adding more stress to her stress.u ought to be able to arrange someone close to do the market runs and cook .i wont bother to remind anyone u dont have the money an external person will demand and that is why it must be ur wife cus she knows how to manage u and ur little money.learn some sense.find a low cost mistress who will do more than ur wife will ever and start preparing to build your own house or rent ur house as the way things are going she will soon be totally fed up wit u.guys build ur own house o.

bukatyne:

Whose job is it to host the husband's guests?

Edible Catering

My friend shutup, all this small boys abroad running thier mouths and talking shit! im in canada earning plenty money as a software engineer..rational nigerians living abroad dont think this way. She as the wife is mandated to help him entertain his guests just as he should do the same for her irrespective of the number of times. Its unbelievable how this generation have lost thier sanity. My mum was happily doing this for my dad with the help of relatives..God bless the good old days! Funny im just 32. This generation is lost!

CanadianNaija:


It is not my fault that you’re frustrated, and your life is not worth living.
Take the easy way out and end it, Nigeria is overpopulated you won’t be missed.

Na to dey single or turn lesbian sure pass. Because there's no hope for the average Nigerian man.

The op had 20 months to save and hire a caterer knowing fully well that his wife went through alot while being 5 months pregnant the last time. And now you want the poor woman to cook again for your 25 church friends.

Still talk to her and pet her, assure her you will do most of the cooking things.

crackhaus:

Edible Catering

Toor.

This thread still feels very weird to me.

bukatyne:

Toor.

This thread still feels very weird to me.

It doesn't feel weird at all to me, those wonderful responses I mean.

I can't say I'm surprised.

Nooil:


Please, think back to the time you only had to cook for yourself, or probably your family. Imagine the stress and multiply it by 25 people.

Then proceed to imagine you were carrying a pound of weight about with you (that's how much a fetus weighs at 5 months. Didn't even add pregnancy weight) during the whole time. And after cooking, you had to serve and then clean.

It doesn't kill to reason with empathy!

Educate yourself with this article so you don't become unfortunate to your future wife: https://www.momjunction.com/articles/5th-month-pregnancy_00361303/#complications-in-the-fifth-month-of-pregnancy

You are just a lazy Arrow

afroxyz:


You are just a lazy Arrow

Eeyah, here I thought people who said they can write poem can reason a little. Didn't know I was conversing with an illiterate. My bad.

OP, I cant see d reason why cooking soup for your frnds once in 18months host meeting shud be a difficult task fr ur wife to carry out even when u will help her out...

Bros u can download these delicious soups & use them fr dat meeting in order to aviod embrassment

No fall my hands oh, just store them in a freezer or make sure u warm them tonyt & 2moro so dat e no go sour & disappoint u dis Sunday brotherly

Chidexsco8448:
OP, I cant see d reason why cooking soup for your frnds once in 18months host meeting shud be a difficult task fr ur wife to carry out even when u will help her out...

Bros u can download these delicious soups & use them fr dat meeting in order to aviod embrassment

No fall my hands oh, just store them in a freezer or make sure u warm them tonyt & 2moro so dat e no go sour & disappoint u dis Sunday brotherly

Guy you no try oo . Chai!!! Na madtt graphics be this oo. Yummy...

anastasius:

It's not stressful. A good woman will do it. It has been done since I was born. It is rotated round families and when it's your turn, u cook and entertain. My mum isn't even Nigerian and she's proud to do it. Mum too has her own group and it's same thing. Useless Nigerian girls

yes your mother was busy cooking to please people that's why she forgot to teach you manners. Useless thing

anastasius:

People like you only have mouth online. In real life, you keep begging men to look your way

you're just a frustrated simp who was dumped by a girl.

josite:
my question is who owns the house or who pays the current rent for the house? .i perceive ur wife either owns the house or pays the current rest and she is findling ways to remind u that u are presently not the husband and should mind urself by not not adding more stress to her stress.u ought to be able to arrange someone close to do the market runs and cook .i wont bother to remind anyone u dont have the money an external person will demand and that is why it must be ur wife cus she knows how to manage u and ur little money.learn some sense.find a low cost mistress who will do more than ur wife will ever and start preparing to build your own house or rent ur house as the way things are going she will soon be totally fed up wit u.guys build ur own house o.

Marriage is not about money or who pays the bills. If it's about that, anyone who has the money at a particular time is free to oppress the other.

What they need is understanding and communication.

bukatyne:


Toor.

This thread still feels very weird to me.

Because you feel it's mandatory that she hosts her husband's friends even if she doesn't feel up to it.

You didn't agree with my view that's why you didn't respond

royalfly:


Abeg shut up... abeg sorry o but u Dey talk rubbish.. what is enslave in just cooking and cleaning, the guy offer to help... I don’t understand o. Watch this woman will do worse things in future.. if she refuse to help the man wash his clothes no problem but to cook my dear even whites host friends all the time and just like the guy wanted to do help each other. You could see the man grilling the meat while the woman cuts the veggies as the case maybe.. onyinbo life nor go kill una.. even the onyinbo is retracing their steps while Nigerians are blindly running forward to nonsense.. now I know why this country is like this.

Get manners o. I never insulted anyone here so I won't take any insult. Drop your opinions and leave. I still keep my opinion. If you're not okay with it move on or ignore. I gave my opinion without insulting anyone, so get your acts together!.

SirMichael1:


I live in the north.

I stay in Abuja

Nooil:


Then you need to revisit that moment and help her heal.

So me that made the 25 pieces of pounded yams doesn't need healing?

What I'm being made to understand is, for the fact that she brought the last get together this time just made me believe even more that she felt she was doing me a favour and so no more favours.

josite:
my question is who owns the house or who pays the current rent for the house? .i perceive ur wife either owns the house or pays the current rest and she is findling ways to remind u that u are presently not the husband and should mind urself by not not adding more stress to her stress.u ought to be able to arrange someone close to do the market runs and cook .i wont bother to remind anyone u dont have the money an external person will demand and that is why it must be ur wife cus she knows how to manage u and ur little money.learn some sense.find a low cost mistress who will do more than ur wife will ever and start preparing to build your own house or rent ur house as the way things are going she will soon be totally fed up wit u.guys build ur own house o.

What brought about who owns the house and who doesn't? Stop thinking like a bag of wet concrete.

As a matter of fact, I rented the apartment with my money. Any more stupid questions?

Palema007:
To start with... Is SirMicheal married?

Yes. To a beautiful wife with a cute daughter.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You must be beaming with so much joy now that you finally got what you have always craved for.

Yeye boy.

Girl, leave me out of your childish and thoughtless insinuations. Besides, I never mentioned you here. Infact, you came yourself and the first thing you did was insult me and never advised.

What is so difficult to interprete in "i'm married with a daughter"?

SirMichael1:


Girl, leave me out of your childish and thoughtless insinuations. Besides, I never mentioned you here. Infact, you came yourself and the first thing you did was insult me and never advised.

What is so difficult to interprete in "i'm married with a daughter"?

You are so silly, boy.

Why did you take down your DP? You looked like a dragon?

joyandfaith:


did you marry a cook? what is essence of meeting of married men? i see it as wasting of time and resources?
your wife is telling you that she does not want large crowd in her house. There may be other reason that may shock you if revealed to you.
God and family are most important thing in life.

You know i've since told you this before. You're useless, even down to the fibre of your being. And it's not her house.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You are so silly, boy.

Why did you take down your DP? You looked like a dragon?

Thank you. I, a married with a kid don't have time for adults that choose to be kids.

Maybe after you drop two, maturity is hit you instantly.