SegFault:

It's his choice, if he doesn't want to stop then leave him. Life is too short and full of suffering to be killing yourself because of someone else.

Hes not just "someone else " hes OPs father. Plus the embarrassment and disgrace he's bringing to the family is not something to overlook.

Let them make him understand he has to go. Its a must. Desperate times calls for desperate measures.

SegFault:

Brother he knows what he is doing. Simple.

Alright,...

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

Your dad needs help in fighting this addiction. Right now he needs your love and support. Now is not the time to be hateful. If you are in Lagos try and convince him to visit any of the rehabilitation centres in the list below:

https://www.finelib.com/cities/lagos/health/mental-health/addiction-recovery

We are waiting for a better advice please, but I believe if you get too engaged in better activities, you will forget alcohol

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

Hmm...this one nah prayer case ooh..to be frank..cos it's like it runs in their blood..so I won't say it's a psychological problem..
Keep interceding in his behalf..and be praying for yourself too so u won't follow the evil pattern..
Pray seriously for him so that he could break out of the trend because if it's not broken now u that hates alchol might end up that way unknownly..
One of our family friend the husband it's like that..after much research we found out it's in their linage ...It took a lot of prayer, encouragement and curse breaking to bring him out of it..

So don't detest him...show him so much love, keep talking to him and be praying for him..

Normally it takes time to come out from an addiction..

Same way one of my neighbor nearly gone with the wind cos of mixture,green bottles,sapele water.There's no brand he Neva taste.Even if Doc tell Ur papa to stop drinking, ,if he obey today, tomorrow,he must drink sha.That's problem with chronic master

Find a way to talk to him and consider the option of checking him into rehab plus never underestimate the power of prayers... Since you say it runs in the family..bro it's a generational curse or convenant which need to be broken. Before you can say nay even you may start abusing alcohol.

Take him to the hospital and let the doctor tell him the condition of his heart and liver.

You have to tie him on a bed for one week so that he won't go out to drink.

aspiring44:



The OP should scare him by driving him down to luth dialysis and see the damage alcohol has done to people kidney and liver .

He will surely have a rethink of his bad social behavior.

am telling you....he will get scared...hospitals can be an eye opener to some

For most drunkards, there is always something that triggers it. Its difficult to heal someone with that habit if the source isn't identified. For some, it may be loss of a loved one, unhappiness in a marriage or even financial situation, each of these leading to depression. There definitely has to be a root to it, unless he considers it fun.

If you can sit him down on one of the moments when he's sober and talk to him as calmly as you can, you probably will be able to identify the root of his problems and offer solutions.

You can motivate him by getting him involved in AA meetings. Sometimes hearing of stories of how alcohol has ruined many lives wakes people up and have a re-think. Fortunately, there are online zoom meetings for Alcoholics Anonymous that you can guide him and encourage him to be active in.

It takes a step at a time to overcome alcoholism and he needs your help now. It may be too late if his organs start getting ruined from the habit, so pls be there for him now that he needs your help quitting. All the best bro.

Prayer will save him.

drunkdad:


at the end of it all, his deteriorating health condition will be on my mom and me. All of his family members are nothing to write home about. set of very irresponsible and unserious people

Hmmmm how did your mum settle for such a person and family.sad

Put him in serious prayers, what church do you attend, if Catholic start novena prayers for special cases like( Our Lady of perpetual help novena) and book novena mass for him.. Also look for secret of Psalms prayer book, their are prayers for addictions like his and pray for him. I bet you he will hate alcohol like shit

Op ur moniker say everything all... E no dey easy for a chronic drunkard to leave alcoholic drinks oo but u guys to continue praying for him and sometimes restrict his movement, if u know his normal joint u can beg the person to stop selling for ur dad especially in the area u guys live

It might be spiritual, very likely is. Look for a genuine man of God to break the bondage he is in. I wish you and your family the best.

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

drunkdad:


I just wish there's a proactive step I can take to just bring everything to a stop because if it's prayer. my mom has been doing that for over 20 years

Lock him up in his room for 7days. Feed him on bread and akara twice everyday. Lecture him on the dangers of alcohol 3 times a day for seven days from the window o, then on the seventh day call friends, relatives and neighbours after explaining what you did, release your dad.

MrOjay1:
This is sad.
I suggest you begin to flog your father with cane since he's stubborn.

Cane is the only language a drunkard understands.
It's no use advising him against it because he will surely do otherwise.

If you can't cane him,you can trail him to the bar where he drinks and embarass him and his friends.

Guy, you are asking someone to FLOG his own father with CANE Chai!! What else is left in this world?

Any advice for someone who is above 40 years is useless. It is only self realization that can help.

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

Learn all you can about hypnosis and hypnotherapy and use it on him.


Trust me, with patience and consistency, it works!

https://www.alcohol.org/intervention/

Hope this helps. All the best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG1Os-FhbIc

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

Something bothers your dad... Have a one on one with him... Many men no get joy. They are only enduring. They use alcohol to mask off.

LadySarah:
Is he the breadwinner?

Ladysarah I'm dying in silence for you, are you by any chance single?

@op, try to sit him down man to man and find out the real reason he's into full time alcoholism... Do that when he's not in his drunk state..

Don't try to hate him for u don't yet know his plight.. there's more to d eyes than u can see..

Be in good talking terms wit him.. don't create enmity between u both...

I've been in ur chose n can relate so well...

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

It’s a had habit or addiction and he needs to treat it as such. He need proper counseling on what he is doing and all the implications of it. He also need to know his limits or even completely avoiding it which is usually the best.

Whenever he misbehaves do a video and show him later so he sees what he has become.

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

The Effectual Fervent Prayer of The Righteous, availeth much. The House of God is the right place to take him to.

Liftmaster:


First, you need to recognize that he has a disease called alcohol addiction, then prepare to spend some money. Best case solution is to check him into an in house rehab program. I know there a some in Lagos and Abuja that do a good job. Next best solution is to get him away from his current environment to someplace else. Excessive drinking of alcohol is a social vice. Nobody likes to drink alone. Get him far away from his drinking buddies to another location, to a far away state if possible for a period of time. There is a high likely hood that he may have a change of heart when away from the bad influence of his buddies.
Finally, addictions are extremely difficult to overcome unless the addicted person is really reallly ready to change. Nothing will work until your Dad is convinced that he needs to change his life.

True talk bro!
Additionally, don't give up on him. It may shock you to know that he his truly sorry for hurting you all. This is a battle of the mind just try to help him win! He thinks quitting alcohol is beyond him ,but make him know that he can win.(I am talking from experience). Show him other means of being merry. No body can ever have enough alcohol,the more he drinks,the more he wants to drink ,let him see that moderation is the key!
If 10 bottles is what makes him high now, and he doesn't take alcohol for a month,if he takes 1 bottle after a month, he will feel better with that 1 bottle. Let him have long gaps between drinks. That is one huge step towards quitting! I wish you the best bro. Take heart!

Bro.. just forget about him and give up on his alcoholic lifestlye ASAP. You can't and will never change him unless he change himself. Live up and prepare yourself for responsibilities as the first son. My dad was a chronic drunk but due to old age he's minimized to maybe 60%. I remember when I was very young my dad will come home middle of the night very drunk and chase us all out of the house, beat my mum, he accused her of dating our church pastor and other elders of the church cos they preached against alcohol and adviced him to change. My dad is a COMPLETE drunk! He used his retired gratuity as a Police inspector on ALCOHOL and still drinking alcohol with his monthly PENSION. If you can't change you dad let him live the ALCOHOLIC life he choose. ONCE A SOLDIER IS ALWAYS A SOLDIER

You can't stop him easily, it will be a gradual process.
Start by telling him you will buy him his favourite drink as long as he drinks it at home and at controlled quantity. Ask your mum to always speak gently and respectfully to him.
Ask him to take you to the joint he normally drinks, observe and try to recreate the atmosphere at home. Try to encourage him because his current situation which he may not be happy with could be a contributory factor, be a motivational speaker to him.
Gradually, he will begin to reduce his intake and with time could stop it completely

It is simple now..... Jail him in the house... You know what I mean.