drunkdad:


the day I talked to him, he never said anything tangible being the reason for his sudden drinking attitude. what he usually say is that "your mom is not being submissive" and the only way my mom will be submissive to him is by not questioning him whether he drinks or not.

you are getting closer to the root bro .. You dad is old school and still believes in the old way where a man is king ... See I knew the reason would not be far from that. I have a friend who smoked every day from dawn till dawn and the reason was his wife didn't respect him so he decided to be a pain in her side ... Eventually they got to the root and she started making him feel the respect and today the guy has changed he is responsible and his family has stated to blossom ... Pls to all the feminist I am not saying slavery no! But a man who most likely was respected by his wife when they were courting but see finish make her reason him local ... He will react in one way or the other ... I have seen this happen time and time again .. That man needs you guys to help him give him a reason to fight it. I am no expert I just care about the next person.

perpeling22:
Better still, call this man of God. He is in Lagos. Explain everything to him and if possible, go and see him. When you are seeking solutions, you don't get tired until you get to the end. I'm referring you to him cos I have known him for long and how genuine he is. He will not ask you of any money. Before you contact him, pray that God will reveal everything to you thorough him.

+234 806 043 4010. That's his number.

Bro Small by name.

thanks, I'll try this too

Franzinni:
you are getting closer to the root bro .. You dad is old school and still believes in the old way where a man is king ... See I knew the reason would not be far from that. I have a friend who smoked every day from dawn till dawn and the reason was his wife didn't respect him so he decided to be a pain in her side ... Eventually they got to the root and she started making him feel the respect and today the guy has changed he is responsible and his family has stated to blossom ... Pls to all the feminist I am not saying slavery no! But a man who most likely was respected by his wife when they were courting but see finish make her reason him local ... He will react in one way or the other ... I have seen this happen time and time again .. That man needs you guys to help him give him a reason to fight it. I am no expert I just care about the next person.

thanks sir

drunkdad:


thanks, I'll try this too

You are welcome.
Good luck!

KristaPretty:
I am guessing he has nothing tangible doing, his
wife or children are probably footing his bills.

If it's a shop or a job that keeps him steady 247, please find a way to fix him there. After work, if you can get someone committed to pick and drop him off immediately, that would be nice - tho I do not know your financial capability.

Secondly, drunkards hate embarrassment. Tho it's not a nice scenerio but someone above suggested that which I have seen work for Papa Mmeso in my previous location. His wife would embarass him at the beer palor in front of his friends and everyone over his habit. With time he stopped because it was a shame to him.

Finally, Jibola, his mum and siblings would always flog his dad whenever he returns home drunk . He was left with two options; Drink and come home to be flogged mercilessly or leave the house permanently to enjoy your drinking journey.
Oga has no other home to go to and he stopped drinking because he was tired of being flogged seriously

Different methods for different people. This is my own physical experience and observation from families who battled with this. Apply all of them

It is well with you.

hmmmmmm... I may never be able to Live if I hold a cane against him. but thanks anyway

drunkdad:
the alcohol he takes has made to look very old.. he's always coughing now and has this nasty alcohol smell always trailing him wherever he is. to enter into the toilet immediately he's done is 100% impossible because of the strong alcohol smell

OP your choice of ID is a bit awkward.
Take your dad to hospital and do a liver function test. He needs big impact intervention......and also unconditional love.

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

Give him an example of what too much alcohol does to the liver.
Stopping addiction is a slow thing. He has to do it gradually

A friend of mine stopped this habit some months ago. We actually did not believe him, but we were wrong.

It's been 9 months now that God answered our prayers on him.

He has appointed himself as the sanitation officer of the church he attends.

God answers prayers. Please keep praying and showing love to him. He will have the courage to break from the habit sooner than you think.

perpeling22:
Can you go to Lagos?

that'll be after school resume

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

Be determined to be different from your father and uncles.

drunkdad:


that'll be after school resume

I've given you the man of God's number. Start from there.

MrOjay1:
This is sad.
I suggest you begin to flog your father with cane since he's stubborn.

Cane is the only language a drunkard understands.
It's no use advising him against it because he will surely do otherwise.

If you can't cane him,you can trail him to the bar where he drinks and embarass him and his friends.

I wonder how you manage to live your life. You're an embarrassment to humanity. I'm sure it's cos of your religious nature

drunkdad:
For over 20 years, my dad has being a chronic drunkard. drinking alcohol despite all my mom's effort to try and stop him. 2 years ago, he stopped drinking and he was beginning to look better, speak more coherently and not socially awkward, but now, he has gone back to his past behavior just earlier this year when he started making friends with another guy who drinks alcohol.

All these behavior leads to him not able to work and a lot of behaviors he exhibits that is totally nasty, behaving like a kid.

My mom and I have called him and talked to him on several occasions about it but he still always goes back to drink after he leaves home.

I'm totally fed up, even my mum is very sad about the situation.

How can I deal with this situation..

we should be friends. I have same situation

MrOjay1:
This is sad.
I suggest you begin to flog your father with cane since he's stubborn.

Cane is the only language a drunkard understands.
It's no use advising him against it because he will surely do otherwise.

If you can't cane him,you can trail him to the bar where he drinks and embarass him and his friends.

He should beat his father?

Wahala dey ooooo!

drunkdad:



hmmmmmm... I may never be able to Live if I hold a cane against him. but thanks anyway

Oya send people to do that for you. there are other options.

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

This is d real problem. How dare you say dis about your biological dad? I wish my dad was still alive. I shed tears reading dis from you. No matter wah, respect your parents and always show dem love. Treat him nice and show love now dah he is still alive. Also pray for him, he will change. He needs ur support

drunkdad:


friend...? he doesn't have any! all the people I know with him drinks alcohol too

If you can prevent him from going out of the house for as long as necessary, it could help. You already say he doesn't take care of his parental responsibility anyway, so locking him indoor for days/weeks or months might help. Just make sure you provide him with timely feeding while he's on lockdown.

Really difficult to think of a sure way out given all you have said about him.

Good luck with finding a solution.

Mehn this ur case reminds of someone(can't mention his name), I'm sure what u n ur family have done to let him know u care is exactly what this person I know had too, a loving family that tried all they could, his wife(hero) always praying for him, I can't forget the day we met with that family and she wept before her husband, it broke him to shreds, it took a while but he left the bottle, damn he was into smoking too, mehn na God ooo make i no lie for u my guy, he committed to fast and pray about it, he stared by reducing his intake, twas like a goal, within two months he left it, still remember the evening he called us that he didn't feel the urge and found alcohol appalling that he almost threw up, mehn that was huge for us and his family, papey's countenance really changed, looking more healthier, damn that old man was looking fresh!!! U can imagine d joy for his family mehnn, Papey introduced his drinking buddies to the program too .
Btw this was 2013, till now he has not touch the bottle nor lit a smoke.

God can do it for ur Popsy too bud, don't relent, Abeg no flog ur Popsy ooo, I saw one suggestion like Dat up there, Abeg no try am.

drunkdad:


thank you Sir.

One of the things I think may be the cause is that he likes being social and have people to talk to. But instead of him to embrace his family (US) by coming home and spend time with us, he'd rather go to meet his Okada Rider friends and start discussing with them. Sometimes, he comes home as late as 1:30 am and since many of these Okada riders are alcohol drinkers, they'll always pass it to him. That was how he started slipping back into it after his momentary stop 3 years ago.

I understand, that seem like boredom is the trigger in his case and hanging out with friends at bars may be his only idea of fun. Unfortunately, you and your siblings can't give him the type of excitement he gets from hanging out with such people, but you can still let him realize certain things change in people's lives when family is involved. Do his friends have families too they return home to real late at nights?

Also, you mentioned that he hangs out with Okada riders, is he an okada rider himself? If he is, was he doing something better before switching to that ? Sometimes certain downward spirals in people's lives make them drink to forget their depressing moods. I still believe anyone can be corrected when you calmly talk to him. If he doesn't listen, you may want to involve his family members. Everyone can't be wrong at the same time and that should make him reflect on life and what his role is to his immediate family versus okada riders in joints.
There are some terrifying videos of what drinking does to peoples organs you can dig up on youtube if thats something he'd be interested in watching.

Finally, pls dont under-estimate the powers of prayers.

Goodluck bro.

drunkdad:


thanks, but that can only happen if he's someone I can put a leash on and drag down there.... He's the most stubborn person I've ever met

He needs rehabilitation and medical checkup. You shouldn't hinge on the fact that he is stubborn and not "drag" him there. If you guys have the finance for the rehabilitation, then liase with people or church members that will drag him to any the rehabilitation center.

Use police and threaten the people selling the drinks to him...
The drunkard from my village dats how he was stopped..


Since u say his siblings drink too. U guys should take him to a deliverance ministry it could be village people at work...

drunkdad:


I just wish there's a proactive step I can take to just bring everything to a stop because if it's prayer. my mom has been doing that for over 20 years

The people that asked you to pray know that there's Nothing GOD cannot do. I had a relative who used to drink. He too has spent years as an unrepentant drunk. He falls in gutters, he slumps on the road, he misbehaves everywhere and his hands were beginning to shake. He couldn't even hold a spoon without falling off. At a time, he couldn't eat where people are, they'd wonder. He'd sneak out to buy at odd hours. That's how bad it had gotten. People came with all sorts of advice both medical, spiritual and the likes but I've always believed in prayers, not any fetish thing. We prayed, we counseled, we fought, we encouraged him. That was all we were doing.

The day he'd stop, it was like magic. Not even it was like, No! It was actually a miracle.

According to him, he went to buy at his usual joint but they didn't have. He went again the following day, the same thing. He went the third time, they still don't have. He then got angry that why would he be going upandan on top his moni! He now told himself that if he could stay 3 days without drinking, he wanted to try 1 week. That was how the journey started. He has been sober now for about 5 years. See complete turn around, even in his business, health, finances. God restored all the losses and even we family members that have been praying, none of us knew when God stood up the say Devil you're done! That could only be God! No deliverance service, no rehab home, God just did it.

I know how frustrating, how embarrassing, how delusional this can get but never give up on God, He's able, really able. Pele, it is well.

mutter:
If you want to help your dad send him to a rehabilitation center.
He can't come out of this alone.

Alcohol is one bad addiction.. Its almost impossible to stop unless he enter grave. Few people get help by deliverance.. Rehab only works during the period of rehab, if he goes back to the street... He go back to alcohol. Solution is to take him to Muslim state where alcohol is prohibited or change drug for him.. E. G weed.

drunkdad:


all he does now is ride his Okada out of the house, without leaving a penny for my mom to cook for the day then get to make little money and resume drinking. then he comes back home to sleep in the afternoon before repeating the same in the evening and finally coming back drunk in the midnight.

My dear ,the best for you is not to allow him determine your family happiness

You guys have tried for him, your mother must have endured enough

Just move on and carry your mother along and always be there for her

Leave your dad with his life style, he will definitely carry his own cross

Drinking is an addiction. We don't have correctional school for this in Nigeria.
So therefore. Find solice in God. Get a good pastor or imam. They no what to do.
Get strong ones oo. If it's trans generational. He will be delivered

I feel sorry for both you and your mom. But also sorry for your dad. From what you've revealed about his family it is quite clear that your dad is an alcoholic. You should also be careful to. You may be at risk because of a predisposition to alcoholism. All that's needed is a trigger, be it traumatic event, etc...and you could get hooked also. It is a genetic disorder, as proven by science. You could look it up online if you've got any doubts. With all these being said, your dad needs therapy. He needs to see a Psychologist/Therapist, and even a Psychiatrist if things are really serious. Without this, all your attempts at intervention would count for nothing. Your dad has lost the ability to think rationally when alcohol is present. Although he loves you guys, and I'm sure of that, but he can't quit by willpower alone, not everyone can. Even the love he's got for y'all isn't enough. . Pls get him the help he needs. After doing this, then you can back it up with prayers or what have, you. Pls he needs urgent help. I'm appealing to you. Take this advice and other similar ones and you'd never go wrong.

Live your life boy! Forget your dad, he has chosen his path

drunkdad:
he's the eldest of all his siblings and yet, the same alcohol trend run In the family. all his male siblings are chronic drunkards.

I'm his eldest son and I'm totally confused on what to do. right now, we're not on talking terms because his presence alone annoys me. I don't know what to do to make him just focus on his life and get on with his family. take care of himself. and stop being a nuisance to everyone.

you need to pray about it, it's ancestral flow and you need to pray hard to break the curse from flowing to your children even if you have escape the curse, your children needs to inherit a better ancestral flow not drunkenness....