nijabazaar:


Thats the thing. I want a roys royce of say 23mills but my current meagre salary of 250k cant afford it. What do i do?

Its either i wait and save for twenty something years for it ( this might explain why igbo men marry late into their 30s amd 40s) or simply go for a 2009 corolla

Your words carry sound reasoning and weight... I am impressed.

However, such customs need to be modified in the best interest of everyone involved.

Bar1941:
Really, so that list is about house warming not wedding? You are talking as if the list is about something else. What brought about the list in the first instance if not the bride?

I wonder what he is saying. To make matters worse he said you could buy 10yam and they tell you only 2 are big and you should pay for the other 8 and we all know that they will still collect those 8 after taking the money from him.

Marriage list in Igbo land is negotiable . I have never seen someone who came to marry a wife in Igbo land and didn’t succeed no matter the quantity of items he came with .

But I have seen several people who got scared of getting married because of the list but not knowing it’s negotiable.

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

The list is part of the bride price, we should stop this cowardice. If I want to pay my fiance bride price do you mean I shouldn't factor in the cost of the list and bride why coming up with a budget? To me bride price and list are same(They're not different)

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

The list is part of the bride price, we should stop this cowardice. If I want to pay my fiance bride price do you mean I shouldn't factor in the cost of the list and bride while coming up with a budget? To me bride price and list are same(They're not different)

SirVintageCock:
You are ignorant. Get enlightened from people Igbo people instead of reading rubbish from people that knows nothing.
What the guy wrote is the pure truth or are you telling me poor people no dey marry for Igbo land again.

Ignorant about what exactly??! What part precisely??!... Ignorant about the literal meaning of Bride Price, or the contextual meaning??!

I never said he wrote a lie, only that he is stretching and over-reaching for reasons best known to him!

Everyone knows Bride Price is not high anywhere in the East... The complaint remains with the long list accompanying the sole Bride Price. Where is my ignorance there??! Did I say or even imply that only affluent people get married??!....

You really need to tame your emotions, and quit getting worked up over matters like this... This is a discussion, contribute or set the records straight like others have done above.... Everything nor be fight!!!

Nazgul:
Marriage in Igbo land depends on the family like you rightfully stated.

If you're marrying from a greedy family, it will take God's divine intervention for you not to loose your patience with them.

I've been to a wedding where the groom literally walked out cos of excessive billing he said he isn't doing again. Worse of it all was that his supposed in-laws were even mocking him telling him that he's not man enough to get married that what is he doing here.

It was the cries of his bride to be and her mum and some other direct female relatives that brought him back.

So my brother it just depends on the family and most especially if the girls father is still alive. Cos if her father is alive there are some nonsense he wouldn't tolerate cos he knows that any financial burden he places on you, his daughter would bear it as well.

But if it's all these useless uncles who don't even care about the girls welfare, they'll try to use her marriage as a route to escape poverty thereby billing you heartlessly.

You have just hit the nail on the head with the aspect of father being alive. My friend just had his last month. Though the light was something that could have torn any average Nigerian man's pocket but he was able to rob mind with the old man who from all indication is interested in his daughter's happiness than whatever he could have gotten from the man out of greed. So there are some circumstances that can make marrying in Igbo land a normal journey to embark on while in other cases you only need to be there to know exactly how frustrating it can be. When my landlady's daughter got married, at a point the husband's family got angry along with the guy. The girl had to confront her family to tell her if they are against her getting married or what.

nijabazaar:


You are Deeper in Life.

Peace

nothing like deeper in life here!! I'm both traditionalist and Christian!! So that's my belief

Jefferyhi86:
I so heard that enough mature Igbo ladies who are single in d east, ibo guy loves marrying my sisters from edo states

My igbo friend left his engaged igbo girl, he is getting married to an edo girl this weekend, and he isn't the only one igbo guys that grew up out the east, are having issues with igbo girls especially the ones that grew up in the east.

Igbochief001:
Finally someone talks about this

1) in igbo land ...your village and your mom's village owns u , not your family ...your family is just caretakers ...so u must marry her from the village then family

2) most of the list given to you would be used for your traditional marriage , rice , drinks , and the rest

3) the list is made big very big like in my village so that u can't pay all , it's believed once u pay all the woman is yours for ever and u can do what ever u like

The idea is to give u a big list u can't pay ...so that u can owe your in-laws ...and with that treat your wife well

All you have to say is my in-laws this is what I have for now ...we know they don't complete the marriage of a woman ...we would keep paying the debt as long as I'm alive ...simple

4) it's insulting to pay the bride price that I are told , u should bargain it and beg them to accept what u have

Infact as a man your people would from vex and leave u would go and beg them and beg them to come back , and so forth it's just ceremony to show u are paying from your noise to get the beautiful flower

5) no body talks about what the girls people give to her , in my place mbaise , we buy her all her kitchen equipments , from the smallest to the biggest after her white weeding or her first delivery

Two for each delivery we go for omugu , they carry everything she and her husband people would eat for 3 months



Finally igbo weeding is nothing compared to kalabari, opobo bonny and okrika

Mba gini?

abeg oooo

At the end of the day it all boils down to individual families....thank God I've been alive to witness different weddings from my place(Imo orlu) including that of my family and I can say the list is quite favourable ( nothing extravagant and also not so cheap) more like we ain't tryna get rid of our daughter and @ the same time not selling her.... like the igbo adage goes " you can't marry a woman under a day".. same way I witnessed my elder bro's intro to his wife( Ondo) and the amount spent on just the intro.... @ the end of the day it all depends on the family you're getting involved in.

Is it by force to marry Igbo lady, haba u have ur choice of other ladies, why is it that other tribes are so interested in Igbo affairs?

AmuDimpka:
Was at yoruba wedding last Saturday here in Lagos . The bride price and the list was so much over 100 yams and boxes of clothes with wrapper...

It was so much... So I think igbo list isnnt much

What concerns Yoruba with this? Can't y'll just handle your shit yourself without involving others, are our cultures related. Do we share history? Why do you have drag us into your nonsense.

U see! Even one of ur brother who has a house n investment in my hometown in uromi edo state said there is no way he's leaving esan land

Tobiloba2407:


My igbo friend left his engaged igbo girl, he is getting married to an edo girl this weekend, and he isn't the only one igbo guys that grew up out the east, are having issues with igbo girls especially the ones that grew up in the east.

All these folks from other tribes are just killing themselves on top of something they know nothing about. The list might be outrageous if the bride's extended family are greedy. Still, you are not meant to fulfil everything on the marriage list.
An average igbo man will still marry if he is ready. Make una no disturb unaself. Young people still dey marry for igboland. inshot we recorded a lot of marriages this year in Igbo land. make una dey disturb una self ontop unnecessary issue. People that want to marry are marrying.
abeg where are my cute igbo girls?? Shout out to you all

hakym619:
Igbo marriage is a low key poverty alleviation scheme

What about situations where the wife's family are the ones helping the husband's financially etc?

Or haven't you seen such before?

people just decide to say whatever they feel without facts. huge bride prize is not only associated with igbos; it's everywhere. it depends on the family you're marrying from. when my sister got married, we literally told the husband to pay what he can and forget the rest. i am from arondizuogu in imo state and our women are not for sale. mind you, what we use to settle our women when they get married run into millions. they can decide to sell them and they're good to go

Igbochief001:

Getting up out of anger and trying to leave is part of the culture ...they expected that

U must humble yourself to your in-laws to accept what u have

Not dishing it out like u are bill gate

You have got to be kidding me, you list ridiculous items just for the groom to get up and leave? If this is true, then your culture is so ridiculous it's actually laughable, da hell

I think they mean the entire demand not just the "bride price". Most families demand very low amount for bride price and some will return it back after collecting. But the list is generally what people are referring to. It is usually outrageous to be honest.

The reason I always restraining myself from commenting on this type of topic is that, I've notice that a lot of people that generate these controversies are usually single (not let me use the words irresponsible or broke) until you married then you can have a clearer picture of bride price and others. That is when you have formed your own perspective. If you are fortunate to marry good wife from good home then your perspective will change for good but if is bad, then it will change for bad, but as for me, I never regretted spending my fortune on my wife and the favour they have returned to me is unquestionable and immeasurable.

fastseo:
Am from imo state OP
MY place if you don't have at least 350k you can't or won't be able to traditionally marry your wife

It's ridiculous to be given a least to a young man just starting life.

Our elders are not helping matters.

my female friend says her boyfriend can't marry her because they gave him a list of 200k

Am not saying it's too much, but a guy of 29 yrs wanting to marry his girlfriend of 25yrs,,
Who (the guy) just left NYSC 3yrs ago,
has he reached to save up that sum to spend at once?

Now add that, he will also do traditional party, plus white wedding party, plus new apartment.

Well, all that expenses just to have another mouth to feed ain't worth it man!

The guy relocate go north leave my friend... Lolzzzz

Any thing beyond 50k is not worth it or reasonable. (even that self plenty)

Guys just prefer to pay per do or maintain girlfriend till goal occur!

Cc: thatigboman

If she is a virgin maybe I will pay whatever they want but if she is an average Nigerian olosho, I will simply give her belle and won't give a flying fucck.

fastseo:
Am from imo state OP
MY place if you don't have at least 350k you can't or won't be able to traditionally marry your wife

It's ridiculous to be given a least to a young man just starting life.

Our elders are not helping matters.

Next thing is just to have oyinbo type wedding . No traditional wedding or introduction party. Just say vows and go to reception to drink cocktail

bigseank:
it is greed that will kill you people. Just in the name of marriage you ask for heaven and earth. see as this one dey try explain nonsense.

i followed my padi to imo state go marry, it got to a time i looked at the wife and asked myself is this girl even worth it, i cried for my guy that day.

U guys change your archaic ways. Your females are not cattles. they should not be a means to line your pocket.

Worth worth Worth

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

The only problem i have with Igbo people is the fact that when it comes to marriage rites they tend to extort more like so much from the son inlaw especially when he's not igbo. The list you will be given ehn may even start u up a mini mall.

fastseo:
Am from imo state OP
MY place if you don't have at least 350k you can't or won't be able to traditionally marry your wife

It's ridiculous to be given a least to a young man just starting life.

Our elders are not helping matters.

the first sensible igbo man on nl.

Nonexistent:
If she is a virgin maybe I will pay whatever they want but if she is an average Nigerian olosho, I will simply give her belle and won't give a flying fucck.

Change this virgin mindset bro it will do you a whole lot of good.

Jefferyhi86:
I so heard that enough mature Igbo ladies who are single in d east, ibo guy loves marrying my sisters from edo states

Keep decieving yourself o...
Igbo guys that other tribe ladies use to tan that when it is time for marriage, they will leave them and go to their tribe to marry.

Edo wetin?

I grew up in Yoruba land, and by God's grace na Igbo lady I go marry.

I have lived in Edo, Benin to be precise and I didn't see anything like what you painted above except in few cases which happens in all tribes.

I don't know where you get this your lie from.

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

I don't care how others tribe's see it, it my custom , I am an Igbo and I love the custom. The custom is what makes me an Igbo man. I am Nigerian by per. But I am an Igbo by blood, language, food style, dressing, marriage, the way of upbringing, traditional worship. No security force to make me believe in Igbo but by creation I belongs to Igbo family and I am not complaining. So when going to get marry to Igbo lady, do have two options, do what her custom required or marry from your tribe. I can't marry from another tribe apart from my Igbo sister.

Nigeria is only in paper and by force union.

There's nothing as Nigeria dress, language, food style, custom it's all depends on tribe but if we are one there should be certain things for nigeria. So Nigeria is a scam

[quote author=thatigboman post=96636741]I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.[/quote

una get serious problem......na d whole community i wan marry....I go buy for women, I go buy for men, buy for youth, buy for children, buy for bride xtendeded families n d rest.....una for add buy for d dead sef....yeye pipo wit der xpensive list.

truth b told, u pipo re only delaying ur daughters to marry, wife's plenty for oda states

Note also, that the quantities of the tems on the list are sometimes bargainable and not exhaustive.
I don't see any cut-throat dowry or list of items except in some greedy families, which we can find in all the tribes of this country.