bigseank:
it is greed that will kill you people. Just in the name of marriage you ask for heaven and earth. see as this one dey try explain nonsense.

i followed my padi to imo state go marry, it got to a time i looked at the wife and asked myself is this girl even worth it, i cried for my guy that day.

U guys change your archaic ways. Your females are not cattles. they should not be a means to line your pocket.

In igbo land it is believed that a Man must prove himself before he can take a woman. That could explain the reason why women are termed Oriaku ( Eater of Wealth, when transcribed loosely) . The woman is meant to come into her husband's house and be spoilt silly like a peacock. So the man mist show he is capable of allowing his wife to bear the title "Oriaku"
.
If the bride prices are such a burden, igbo men will complain to the rooftops. If you cant afford a beautiful igbo woman....try a beautiful woman from your tribe. Shikena

In my hometown of Amaekpu, Ohafia, brideprice is just #60. The items on the list were all monetized and beat down. My husband's people came prepared and bargained very well the items on the list and my father was very firm with his kinsmen that he isn't selling his daughter.

In all, both wedding and traditional, we didn't spend above #600,000. Dowry was paid a day before the wedding and the next day being Saturday, both ceremonies were done officially.


In all, do not generalize as tradition differs from one place to another. Secondly, if the father of the bride is the best father in the world, he won't sell off his daughter and will pre-warn his kinsmen not to over task his inlaws.



Otutuoma ndioma!

nijabazaar:


So you are assuming that Igbo gurls are well into spinsterhood because of the bride prices?

You need a tour of igbo land

Okay sir... I never said "Every Igbo girl" is unable to marry due to issues raised.

In any case, I humbly stand corrected! To every one his own.

Who am I to cry more than the bereaved!!!... Since most of you see nothing wrong in your voluminous marriage list (especially for outsiders), I can only safely take the Fifth going forward. Thank you.

Nonsense Talk!

hear yourself out, you said "in your own town" is Imo only igbo state?

no misconception it is a general and known fact that Igbo sell their daughters for marriage

chikena

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

List or bride price,the point is to get married to an Igbo woman fully in the traditional way is expensive. Some Other tribes also have list but the items on the list are not even half as expensive as those on a typical Igbo marriage list. Igbo traditional marriage is expensive period.

thatigboman:
I want to create this post in order to disabuse the minds of nairalanders on the misconceptions about much-talked about igbo bride prices.
Contrary to the belief that igbo bride prices run into millions, the bride prices are usually a token. In my hometown in Arondizuogu, Imo State, it is about N200.

The misconception arises from the list given to family of the intending groom. That list is far different from the bride price.
Different people in igboland give different lists in igboland for the different groups in the village they come to marry - the daughters of the family (my 2 year old children get their shares in my place), the women, the youths and the elders. And there are options. You either bring the items or bring the money. Example, u can go to a community and they ask you to bring 10 big yams, another can ask for 20 kegs of palm wine, others can ask for coconut. And youths in my place must ask for a roll of cigarettes, benson or rothmas. And the groom has an option, either to buy them and bring according to specifications or just drop money.

Buying the items usually bring problem. U can buy 10 big yams, and they tell u that it is only 2 that are big, you have to pay for the other 8 'small ones'. U can buy Life and Hero drinks, and they say no, one must be Star, so some people will prefer to pay cash and will be taxed heavily.
All in all, all the issues will be settled, so no worries.

let other igbos and other nairalanders contribute.

you made no point. There's no misconception. Some part of Igbos outrageously charge their inlaws so much that it no longer makes sense. They are same bride price or no bride price. Heavy taxing on would be inlaws is what I don't support. I am Igbo And I must say my first experience marrying one of our wives from imo state was not the sweetest of experience. We reached there by 9am and went to our respective hotel rooms by 12am because of their stupid taxation. We would have left their daughter if not that she has had a son for us and she was a good woman....

Cultures are different. I agree, piling up items on a list like you're selling your daughter doesn't make any sense.

But then, not all Igbo towns are the same, there are towns where you won't spend more than 100k on items on the list, and there are towns where you'll spend up to 500k, and even more.

I've attended a traditional wedding at Nnobi, the items they asked for were not up to 80k and the girls family handled the cooking for the event.

It's a serious concern everywhere, in Tiv I hear the traditional ruler made a decree that any family that takes anything more than 200k for everything concerning a traditional marriage would be in trouble.

This is how bad it's gotten, some families will use that chance to make every penny back. But then if the guy is calm with the girls father, he can get a lifeline. My uncle married from Amucha in Imo state. His wife's dad practically told him the things he should bring and asked him to forget the rest, that he would insist to the family elders that he doesn't want that.

Last last, na to pray say make ground soft for all men sha so we go fit marry wife wey God don ordain for person, because finally life no balance...

InvertedHammer:
/
I don’t think people are complaining about the bride price. The problem is the infamous list in which all the kindreds get together, write all their problems in life and hand it over to a suitor to purchase.

I feel sorry for ladies from Mbaise. Some people are too scared to get close enough to know the truth. If she tries, the man will think he is being reeled in for the kill.
/

Beautifully and Aptly written... Kudos!!! Tell them.

Igbochief001:
Finally someone talks about this

1) in igbo land ...your village and your mom's village owns u , not your family ...your family is just caretakers ...so u must marry her from the village then family

2) most of the list given to you would be used for your traditional marriage , rice , drinks , and the rest

3) the list is made big very big like in my village so that u can't pay all , it's believed once u pay all the woman is yours for ever and u can do what ever u like

The idea is to give u a big list u can't pay ...so that u can owe your in-laws ...and with that treat your wife well

All you have to say is my in-laws this is what I have for now ...we know they don't complete the marriage of a woman ...we would keep paying the debt as long as I'm alive ...simple

4) it's insulting to pay the bride price that I are told , u should bargain it and beg them to accept what u have

Infact as a man your people would from vex and leave u would go and beg them and beg them to come back , and so forth it's just ceremony to show u are paying from your noise to get the beautiful flower

5) no body talks about what the girls people give to her , in my place mbaise , we buy her all her kitchen equipments , from the smallest to the biggest after her white weeding or her first delivery
the hole

Two for each delivery we go for omugu , they carry everything she and her husband people would eat for 3 months



Finally igbo weeding is nothing compared to kalabari, opobo bonny and okrika

I fit do this kind thing if them Never open the hole

Very true. You captured it all

Nazgul:
Marriage in Igbo land depends on the family like you rightfully stated.

If you're marrying from a greedy family, it will take God's divine intervention for you not to loose your patience with them.

I've been to a wedding where the groom literally walked out cos of excessive billing he said he isn't doing again. Worse of it all was that his supposed in-laws were even mocking him telling him that he's not man enough to get married that what is he doing here.

It was the cries of his bride to be and her mum and some other direct female relatives that brought him back.

So my brother it just depends on the family and most especially if the girls father is still alive. Cos if her father is alive there are some nonsense he wouldn't tolerate cos he knows that any financial burden he places on you, his daughter would bear it as well.

But if it's all these useless uncles who don't even care about the girls welfare, they'll try to use her marriage as a route to escape poverty thereby billing you heartlessly.

thumb up for Arodingogu in IMO � ��state so true as you said it depends on the family there are some greedy families and there are some families with great consideration and understanding that these are youth just starting their new life

Angelfrost:


Okay sir... I never said "Every Igbo girl" is unable to marry due to issues raised.

In any case, I humbly stand corrected! To every one his own.

Who am I to cry more than the bereaved!!!... Since most of you see nothing wrong in your voluminous marriage list (especially for outsiders), I can only safely take the Fifth going forward. Thank you.

Thanks for understanding.

The bride prices, are simply a test of Manhood more or less.

A mam must prove himself worthy of taking the wife. In igboland, a woman is an Oriaku. She is supposed to be a peacock. Taken care off, swimming in comfort. A man that cant pass via the rigours of the bride price is not worthy of the Oriaku

Again I agree with all your points

collinshush:
In my village (in Anambra) bride price is just ₦400..,just as the op said, it's the lists that normally makes it look big, and this list is negotiable.

In my entire life, I have never seen where parents refused to give out their daughter for marriage just because the item in the lists ain't complete. You can negotiate to bring it down. Though some items listed are compulsory.


A man can marry a lady with 2 million naira in a family where another man married the lady's sister with ₦200, 000. So it all depends on how the man present himself.

nijabazaar:


Thanks for understanding.

The bride prices, are simply a test of Manhood more or less.

A mam must prove himself worthy of taking the wife. In igboland, a woman is an Oriaku. She is supposed to be a peacock. Taken care off, swimming in comfort. A man that cant pass via the rigours of the bride price is not worthy of the Oriaku

Oh I see your point... Thank you for being civil.

So, are you saying if two people are in love, and ready to settle down, but not swimming in affluence, by tradition they should forget about getting married??!... How exactly does demanding for items for extended families' pleasures running into six or seven figures in cash translate to the actual worth of an Oriaku??!...

Angelfrost:
Mr. Op, stop this pedantry and trying to be smart by half, please!!!

Everyone knows the literal meaning of Bride Price!!!... You are the one who seems ignorant of the contextual meaning here.

When people complain of "Bride Price" being high, of course they are referring to the entire ridiculous demands from the Bride's family.... They merely lump it all conveniently into a single term "Bride Price"!!! This is quite simple na!

No offense sir, I honestly don't see the real point of this thread!!!

Thank u so much for this. What he is saying is a distinction without a difference.

Farukshy:

oga will u keep quiet
the truth all tribe live to marry thus tribe do u know y,they are very beautiful, see the beauty Queens in Nigeria na them full there, they are not only pretty,they will give birth to sweet kids, every time I go to my elder cousins house,everything is beautiful, see lovely children...na poverty let's make money u will marry miss world no matter the cost

Bros na because of beauty u wan marry? I respect your view though

Igbos can go to hell and burn to ashes .. I don't care

1x2x3:


After settling the long list which will likely be within the range of 500k to 1M are you still going to buy drinks, buy cow, canopies, cook food for the main function or once you settle the list then the brides family take charge?

There is no need for lies OK, it depends on the family and the parents of the girl, my brother married from Mbaise (this is where ppl see as the worst in Imo) the girl was doing her masters at Atlanta USA, sponsored by her parents but my brother didn't spend more than 200k, all the list with bride price.
Also my sister is in one of the big banks in Nigeria, with car allowance, house allowance, P for P, etc but the husband didn't spend more than 150k for all in the list and bride price.
NB the parents and family decides whether the man will suffer or not, thank you.

One Igbo friend once told me that, in his village, the elders can even take #500 from the #250k presented as bride price & ask you to take care of their daughter with the rest. And the bride's family would always gift the couple so much; from wears to electronics.

Just like someone mentioned above, he confirmed that the uncles are the main problem sometimes. But the girl's father (if alive) always finds means to make the groom feel at ease.

Las las,,,, money solves all issues.
May God bless us with enough


What do you have to say, Oizee

Angelfrost:


Oh I see your point... Thank you for being civil.

So, are you saying if two people are in love, and ready to settle down, but not swimming in affluence, by tradition they should forget about getting married??!... How exactly does demanding for items for extended families' pleasures running into six or seven figures in cash translate to the actual worth of an Oriaku??!...

Thats the thing. I want a roys royce of say 23mills but my current meagre salary of 250k cant afford it. What do i do?

Its either i wait and save for twenty something years for it ( this might explain why igbo men marry late into their 30s amd 40s) or simply go for a 2009 corolla.

Every culture is different, and igbo culture is often expected to tune in or morph i to the rest of the Nigerian Culture. It is not like that.

And like i said, the term "Oriaku" was meant to signify that the woman wshould not suffer in a marriage just because her man is in love but broke. If the man is broke, he should tarry a while and work amd if chances are bright, he could still prove himself worthy of getting the Rolls Royce (oriaku)

The problem is by the time i have sayed enough for the Oriaku, another guy dont japa with her.

CzarChris:
My brother I wonder o! My colleague in ph spent close to 5.8m on the list while paying the bride price. My guy that married an akwa ibom girl a set of sofa chairs was in the list o.
Infact, these guys are incorrigible.

5.8m? for real....that one too much...abeg no offense..shey the girl na virgin?

Farukshy:

oga did u see the list of Nigerians beauty Queens, na them carry am so what do u expect, but let's say the truth, even in my region there are some family u are marrying into the bride price is high, all I will say if is what u can do, no wahala

beauty queens that can't win miss world or any international pageant competition..
Mtcheeew

I still maintain that bride price is just another form of slavery. Paying money in exchange for a human being?

On my weeding day there'll be nothing like bear!! If you don't take malt u get lost!!

Kennyswag:
Igbos can go to hell and burn to ashes .. I don't care

You cared enough to view and comment on the this thread.

You know when you cant have Gold, you would say that Raffia from palm trees are renewable amd natural

After d man must have cough out all dis billing, it's hard for d woman to come back to her family where there is disagreement between the man n woman cos the woman had literally been sold to the husband

Chinemeremjosh0:
On my weeding day there'll be nothing like bear!! If you don't take malt u get lost!!

You are Deeper in Life.

Peace

nijabazaar:
One thing i could take away from my sojoirn of Nigeria is that the different regions dont seem to umderstand the way of the igbos, so they conjure up stereotypes.

I keep explaining certaining cultural nuances to my colleagues here in lagos. they tend to tar the igbos with same brush - in what they percieve to be the collective Nigerian culture.

Different regions for example, believe that since pidgin is spoken flently in their area, every igbo man they met must be fluent in it.
- every igbo man from 30 must be married. no its not.
- every igbo man is a spareparts or mechanic dealer
- every igbo man must like money

Same way the igbos see every hausa man as onye hausa

Angelfrost:
Mr. Op, stop this pedantry and trying to be smart by half, please!!!

Everyone knows the literal meaning of Bride Price!!!... You are the one who seems ignorant of the contextual meaning here.

When people complain of "Bride Price" being high, of course they are referring to the entire ridiculous demands from the Bride's family.... They merely lump it all conveniently into a single term "Bride Price"!!! This is quite simple na!

No offense sir, I honestly don't see the real point of this thread!!!

You are ignorant. Get enlightened from people Igbo people instead of reading rubbish from people that knows nothing.
What the guy wrote is the pure truth or are you telling me poor people no dey marry for Igbo land again.

I so heard that enough mature Igbo ladies who are single in d east, ibo guy loves marrying my sisters from edo states

Tobiloba2407:


Fine yeah, character no....i have like 2 igbo girls basically begging me to marry them....I'm not going to try that, even my igbo friends, that didn't grow up in the east are breaking engagements and relationships with igbo girls to marry or date other tribes, i keep saying it, there's something fundamentally wrong in the up bringing of igbo girls, leave beautiful for who hasn't dated beautiful girls, be around beautiful ladies, you start to understand character trumps looks

LordKO:
It's actually from this forum that I heard that bride price in Igboland runs into millions and that Igbo men are the devil incarnate that oppress their female folks. No thanks to naive, bigoted, or bitter non-Igbos and their self-hated, ostracized, or deranged Igbo counterparts.

Oya debunk their claims,
Tell us what really happens at igbo marriages in your opinion
Thank you