Angy55:


My dear, please forget about him. He was only in for the sex. Who knows? He might even be married, you wouldn't know. He might have told his wife he has a business meeting somewhere just to plan for the meeting that weekend and the disappointment came in.
I know you hurt so bad but relax you're going to be fine.

My advise, get busy like never before. You will get over him.

Another advise, please don't get involved in a long distance relationship unless you are jobless or you have your own business that you are managing that would allow you travel at any time. Abuja to Lagos is too far, unless you guys were already dating before work separated the both of you.

Shortyy:
LMFAOoooooo you dunno nothing about the man you fell in love with.

Sis, sorry to burst your bubbles but that nigga is either married or in a serious relationship.

Focus on your life you're still too young to let anything with third leg distract you.

Don't give yourself wholely to anybody. That's the mistake we women make all the time.

LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.

dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how [/b]HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG[b] believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.

dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG. believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.

Samakus:
Oboi, hustle o. See as girl dey kill herself over a 'financially stable' man living in Lekki who might or might not be so into her

Brother, hustle o. Else, wahala go be like bicycle

roteblomen:
Telling a woman "I love you" is something men do not easily say, and definitely not via internet. Just as women protect their sexual integrity by not having sex too soon, men protect their emotional integrity by not saying "i love you" too soon either. If he tells you too soon, especially when you haven't met, then chances are, he is overdosing you with word pills that will scatter your brain, afterall, women fall in love by what they hear. If he is handsome, then surely, he would have experienced with lots of women about what works and what does not.

Did he send you nudes just as you sent him yours? I bet the answer is no. He didn't even paid for your ticket, but expected you to pay with your money, so if you decide not to come, the loss is in your pocket. How can you not see his game here? Listen carefully to this part, and it is that men express love by giving resources (money, phone, car etc), and women express love by sexing. If he told you that he loves you and can't even pay your flight before hand, he is lying. I understand you're under emotions and can't think straight, but I'm telling the so called guy is a gamer.

You see how men rapidly comfort a random woman crying in public, and treat women like delicate flowers, so how will he ignore you for days when he knows you're hurt by his indifference? Its not man like. Men have a deep instinct to comfort a woman in distress, and especially not to be the cause of her distress. Your case is easily believable and legitimate because it is clear that you lost your flight money, making the reason for not coming to Lagos believable. You're at loss here. Also, where is the understanding in his own part? If a little issue like postponing your visit can infuriate him this much, what if something even more bigger happen if you eventually be in a committed relationship?

Now bet me on this. He will come back to you. When you assume disinterest and stop contacting him, he would "forgive" you, shower you with a bit of love and try to ignite your feelings before it dies completely, in the hope that this time, you can make it to Lagos, and his plans would be accomplished. I know you won't listen, because its hard to advise a woman in love. But when he comes back, play this game with him.

Tell him to come visit you, and that you'll pay for his flight when he arrives Abuja. Just reverse the game. If he thinks its fair for you to come and the flight fare reimbursed by him, then he should accept it when the table is turned around. If he refuse, then you have to kill whatever love you have for him. He doesn't have your best interest at heart. Visiting someone in a place where you have no home advantage is dangerous. Dont do it. If you refuse to have sex with him for example, then, you'll have to be strong enough to repel him if he forces his way, and also have a place elsewhere to sleep either.

I'm advising you like I would do to a young sister, I only hope that you listen. Take care.

heniford2:
shut up, you think everyone is after sex

jornwhite:




Are we been realistic here, if its that easy to figure the guy wanted sex what about the games women play or you want to pretend you're oblivious of that.
Who likes disappointment, what if he feels the gurl is not taking him serious enough, not every man would understand a woman that puts her career above everything ... because he is moody he does not love her, he should have hired saxophonist to show he cares
From the story, a guy that can afford 20k air ticket is certainly a big boy that can surely get hot babe if he is sex starved, wise men cherish what they know they have/own not what they aint sure of.
how is it wrong to be sexual attracted to a gurl you geniunely love. is she suppose to be a decoration or a thing in his house.

Karleb:
Imagine how you'd feel if he was the one that canceled the plan at such a time.

He has every right to be angry and not pick your call. With time, you guys shall be alright.

roteblomen:
Telling a woman "I love you" is something men do not easily say, and definitely not via internet. Just as women protect their sexual integrity by not having sex too soon, men protect their emotional integrity by not saying "i love you" too soon either. If he tells you too soon, especially when you haven't met, then chances are, he is overdosing you with word pills that will scatter your brain, afterall, women fall in love by what they hear. If he is handsome, then surely, he would have experienced with lots of women about what works and what does not.

Did he send you nudes just as you sent him yours? I bet the answer is no. He didn't even paid for your ticket, but expected you to pay with your money, so if you decide not to come, the loss is in your pocket. How can you not see his game here? Listen carefully to this part, and it is that men express love by giving resources (money, phone, car etc), and women express love by sexing. If he told you that he loves you and can't even pay your flight before hand, he is lying. I understand you're under emotions and can't think straight, but I'm telling the so called guy is a gamer.

You see how men rapidly comfort a random woman crying in public, and treat women like delicate flowers, so how will he ignore you for days when he knows you're hurt by his indifference? Its not man like. Men have a deep instinct to comfort a woman in distress, and especially not to be the cause of her distress. Your case is easily believable and legitimate because it is clear that you lost your flight money, making the reason for not coming to Lagos believable. You're at loss here. Also, where is the understanding in his own part? If a little issue like postponing your visit can infuriate him this much, what if something even more bigger happen if you eventually be in a committed relationship?

Now bet me on this. He will come back to you. When you assume disinterest and stop contacting him, he would "forgive" you, shower you with a bit of love and try to ignite your feelings before it dies completely, in the hope that this time, you can make it to Lagos, and his plans would be accomplished. I know you won't listen, because its hard to advise a woman in love. But when he comes back, play this game with him.

Tell him to come visit you, and that you'll pay for his flight when he arrives Abuja. Just reverse the game. If he thinks its fair for you to come and the flight fare reimbursed by him, then he should accept it when the table is turned around. If he refuse, then you have to kill whatever love you have for him. He doesn't have your best interest at heart. Visiting someone in a place where you have no home advantage is dangerous. Dont do it. If you refuse to have sex with him for example, then, you'll have to be strong enough to repel him if he forces his way, and also have a place elsewhere to sleep either.

I'm advising you like I would do to a young sister, I only hope that you listen. Take care.

boyjo:

I would feel so disappointed, not this mad over reaction to the point of not talking to the person again nor not picking calls.
We are talking about work here o, not cheating.

Abeg think am well.

TeeFriz:



Thank you.
So much negativity on this thread. Funny how they could figure out the intention of the guy by what they read which isn't the full details of the love story between them.

LucyB24:
@redpanthar

I can't pay him surprise visits because I don't know exactly where he stays. I've never visited him before. He lives in Lagos and I live in Abuja. All I know is that he stays somewhere in Lekki.

He isn't responding to any of my calls and texts.

I tried telling my boss that I had an engagement on Saturday but he refused because I had already taken two days off a week before due to ill health, and the project required my specialty. No one else at the office had the skill set to handle the project like I could and there was a deadline.

LucyB24:
@redpanthar

I can't pay him surprise visits because I don't know exactly where he stays. I've never visited him before. He lives in Lagos and I live in Abuja. All I know is that he stays somewhere in Lekki.

He isn't responding to any of my calls and texts.

I tried telling my boss that I had an engagement on Saturday but he refused because I had already taken two days off a week before due to ill health, and the project required my specialty. No one else at the office had the skill set to handle the project like I could and there was a deadline.

RedPanthar:
The work end is where the first fixing should begin. Do this, and you will come back to testify :

1. Buy a ring and place it on your engagement finger. Make sure you only wear it where your boss would see it and watch your boss's reaction. You've been too germane and bland that you don't see your work callous during the weekend are specifically designed so you don't cultivate a relationship. I swear my hat on it you'll come back and say I said. So. Wear a ring and ensure your boss sees you flaunting it more than a few times.


2. Even when there's a heavy workload start asking for weekend breaks ahead before you'll be asked to work and again watch your bones reaction. The goal is to buy yourself space. As you play these games watch your boss's reactions




3. Pick your boss's calls less faster, less frequently. It's a masterstroke game to steal your availability from him and disorientation him from always assuming you're his go-go person he can summon whenever he pleases. All of thus is to stir things nd shake things up at the work end albeit subtly

As much as I love this, I got disappointed that you didn't condemn her for sharing her nude.
The moment you start sharing a nude with any guy all you are making him to think of about you that moment and later is mainly sex and nothing more.
He isn't seeing you as a lady who love him and want to try out something serious but the next clean pussy to bleep.




4. Buy new clothes even if it's just two and try to put them on weekend or Fridays. Thus is to make them assume at work that whenever it's weekend they're disrupting your dates to force them psychologically to not call you upon demand. Make sure it's clothes they don't seem to see you frequently wear. Wear these and make sure you're gorgeous on weekend. The dressing that will make them ask why are you this elegant. Reply them on such occasions you were out on a date but since work demands were up you had to call it shut. Guilt trip their brains out and control the narrative at work



Now for the guy :

5. Love thrives in an atmosphere where there's a mutual resistant to beat. Now, paint the narrative to your guy that your boss seems to be against you both, and that's why he wants you occupied weekend and that you both would suffer. By making " the perception of your boss as the enemy ", you created a villain that makes the masculine willpower to fight in your guy rises up. Guess what else you'll get in advance, emotional support against when such arises again. Now, use this advantage to pull put his emotions and psyche to pull him out. When thus is done, you both have a common enemy or vision or objective and you can both use this to your advantage to bond and all. Be smart.




6. Force breaks at work


7. Pay him surprise visits


8. Be more frequent with video calls

9. Plan your meetings for Sundays. Relationships without physical contact will not stand the test of time


10. As a man he should do the visiting first especially at this beginning stage



Give him space and reach out to him. Relationships don't just end that fastly. No, it doesn't


He's hurting. Let him process his emotions. And when he reaches the place of thought that he wants to be with you inspite of what happened, he will establish contact.

You'll be fine

Spy360:
@LucyB4

The way he was angry is very suspicious. If that guy is a killer....
Just thank God.

MrJavaS:
I would have adviced you but I'm assuming that the guy is also reading this thread

LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.