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I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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I'm Afraid Of My Girlfriend / I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Falling In Love With Someone Else. / I Lost Him! What Do I DO Now Heartbroken (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by mabea: 4:16pm On Dec 10, 2020
Trust me this guy is not into you as he claims to be. It may be devastating but this one is not for you.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by frozen70(f): 4:18pm On Dec 10, 2020
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.

You don't need to stress yourself much about the whole thing

Love grows and it renews itself

You may still go to him and he will have good time with you and either continue the relationship or end it with style

You have explained yourself to him and don't harm yourself trying to prove your innocence

But bear in mind that long distance relationship has its own wahala

2 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by westlius(m): 4:20pm On Dec 10, 2020
U would have booked a flight on Saturday after work
Then told him u missed ur flight on Friday cos u reached d airport late
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Tajbol4splend(m): 4:29pm On Dec 10, 2020
Guys are more easily paranoid than girls, but the guy is petty, I don't think there's a big reason to get as angry as not picking your calls

5 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by IdreamOfUnicorn(f): 4:34pm On Dec 10, 2020
You dodged a bullet

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by LucyB24(f): 4:41pm On Dec 10, 2020
IdreamOfUnicorn:
You dodged a bullet

How?
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by RedPanthar: 4:44pm On Dec 10, 2020
IdreamOfUnicorn:
You dodged a bullet


Paranoia. The guy hasn't even done one thing bad o. All these advices sha


He's hurting and just need time that's all.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by obi4eze(m): 4:51pm On Dec 10, 2020
IdreamOfUnicorn:
You dodged a bullet

Big one. She will understand later.

2 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by SarutobiEky(m): 5:00pm On Dec 10, 2020
Shortyy:
LMFAOoooooo you dunno nothing about the man you fell in love with.

Sis, sorry to burst your bubbles but that nigga is either married or in a serious relationship.

Focus on your life you're still too young to let anything with third leg distract you.

Don't give yourself wholely to anybody. That's the mistake we women make all the time.


My nigga!!!! grin grin grin


She say Na third leg..

Nobody NOSE tomorrow, herself. grin

2 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by VanillaIyce(f): 5:00pm On Dec 10, 2020
LucyB24:
@redpanthar

I can't pay him surprise visits because I don't know exactly where he stays. I've never visited him before. He lives in Lagos and I live in Abuja. All I know is that he stays somewhere in Lekki.

He isn't responding to any of my calls and texts.

I tried telling my boss that I had an engagement on Saturday but he refused because I had already taken two days off a week before due to ill health, and the project required my specialty. No one else at the office had the skill set to handle the project like I could and there was a deadline.
He will come around,but if you really want to keep a relationship..this your work timing needs serious adjustment as well as that of the guy.

1 Like

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Samakus(m): 5:11pm On Dec 10, 2020
Oboi, hustle o. See as girl dey kill herself over a 'financially stable' man living in Lekki who might or might not be so into her cheesy

Brother, hustle o. Else, wahala go be like bicycle

24 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by ichidodo: 5:13pm On Dec 10, 2020
I believe the guy is mad at you and the situation in general....I believe he has now seen the futility of long distance relationships thus he has gone to find something or someone closer to home.....Bros can not come and go and kill himself...

5 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by 400billionman: 5:50pm On Dec 10, 2020
Noted..

1 Like

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by mrblessed(m): 5:51pm On Dec 10, 2020
It worries me that you are the one who intends to embark on a journey of tens of hundreds of kilometres to meet someone you barely know. Let the guy take the risk if he values and the friendship. You appear like someone in need of love and attention and therefore vulnerable to be manipulated. Believe me, agreeing to visit him in Lagos was a poor decision, since you don't know him very well. Let him come to Abuja first, then you can reciprocate the visit after you have taken a good account of who is.

The unplanned event/work that scuttled your visit, in my view, is a warning signal to you. It is just that you feel you have to win this guy, no matter the cost -- despite some of the red flags you noticed and which you dismissed with a wave of hand. In this way, you have successfully made him the prize, and yourself, the chaser. Remember that you are supposed to be the prize, and not the other way round.

36 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by baralatie(m): 6:04pm On Dec 10, 2020
Samakus:
Oboi, hustle o. See as girl dey kill herself over a 'financially stable' man living in Lekki who might or might not be so into her cheesy

Brother, hustle o. Else, wahala go be like bicycle
did you read the part where she said sensed the financial tension the guy dey feel for plane ticket and hotel booking?

1 Like

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by 400billionman: 6:05pm On Dec 10, 2020
mrblessed:
It worries me that you are the one who intends to embark on a journey of tens of hundreds of kilometres to meet someone you barely know. Let the guy take the risk if he values and the friendship. You appear like someone in need of love and attention and therefore vulnerable to be manipulated. Believe me, agreeing to visit him in Lagos was a poor decision, since you don't know him very well. Let him come to Abuja first, then you can reciprocate the visit after you have taken a good account of who is.

The unplanned event/work that scuttled your visit, in my view, is a warning signal to you. It is just that you feel you have to win this guy, no matter the cost -- despite some of the red flags you noticed and which you dismissed with a wave of hand. In this way, you have successfully made him the prize, and yourself, the chaser. Remember that you are supposed to be the prize, and not the other way round.

Very reasonable advice.

Tell him to visit you first. You are a female and security is very lacking in Nigeria.

Let him take a trip to see you first. That is the right thing lady.

11 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by binary007: 6:31pm On Dec 10, 2020
What you ladies do not know is that men hurt too and they hurt a lot.

Exactly a year ago , Dec 10 I fainted at work and was rushed to Lagoon hospital,ikoyi.
My girlfriend was in unilag.
My colleague called her from my phone and then my parents.
My Dad got to the hospital at 7pm
My younger sister came the following day at 9am.
Babe called the whole day that she wanted to do something in school that she would come around in the evening. I said okay.
Evening reach.. she sent message that she was too tired that she would come tomorrow.

Omo ! Today is Day 366 and I'm still ghosting her.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by RedPanthar: 6:33pm On Dec 10, 2020
binary007:
What you ladies do not know is that men hurt too and they hurt a lot.

Exactly a year ago , Dec 10 I fainted at work and was rushed to Lagoon hospital,ikoyi.
My girlfriend was in unilag.
My colleague called her from my phone and then my parents.
My Dad got to the hospital at 7pm
My younger sister came the following day at 9am.
Babe called the whole day that she wanted to do something in school that she would come around in the evening. I said okay.
Evening reach.. she sent message that she was too tired that she would come tomorrow.

Omo ! Today is Day 366 and I'm still ghosting her.




Woow . Bro you dodged a nuclear warhead shocked shocked shocked

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by maya007: 6:37pm On Dec 10, 2020
Hey love,first of just calm down n dont b in a hurry to judge,from your narration with the way you described that guy doesnt sound like love to me sounds like a very self centred person,plus anyone can use the word love to get what they want,ur still in ur early 20s n still have alot to learn but dont b easily fooled,anyone who loves you wont turn you to a sex slave at doing sex calls n sending nudes,not in this era so b careful incase of next time,secondly you cancelled cause of work and there would b next time to see so why did he get furious except if he had a hidden agenda....so leave it b ok this one is not for you it's not love

5 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by NobleDeSage001: 7:06pm On Dec 10, 2020
Let him be.
If he actually cares about you, he will call you someday.
For now, face your work and be happy.
Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Bugatie(m): 7:14pm On Dec 10, 2020
dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG. believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.

Off your mic please

3 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Nobody: 7:32pm On Dec 10, 2020
techmo:
cool




Flip the coin and ask yourself the same questions ...


If you were a guy, and a lady cancelled plans of visiting you without prior notice how exactly would you react?!

You can't assume he loves you or not, just because of sexchat and phone conversation, you guys need to spend time together


He's agreed to pay atleast 150k in Air ticket,
10k Uber around town
Atleast 30k for weekend grooving in Lagos

Olosho at Admiralty way Lekki won't cost him more than 20k, so if he was just after pvssy I think he has far cheaper option


..

Is this what you're paid to do? Shouldn't you be busy spreading misinformation? Your 30k for this month is busy dancing kpalongo on the edge of a clif.

5 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by superlightning: 7:32pm On Dec 10, 2020
LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.

if I were him, I would be upset too. Be if I really have interest in you, I would forgive and forget....what if tables turned?

4 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by jornwhite: 7:54pm On Dec 10, 2020
dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG. believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.



Are we been realistic here, if its that easy to figure the guy wanted sex what about the games women play or you want to pretend you're oblivious of that.
Who likes disappointment, what if he feels the gurl is not taking him serious enough, not every man would understand a woman that puts her career above everything ... because he is moody he does not love her, he should have hired saxophonist to show he cares
From the story, a guy that can afford 20k air ticket is certainly a big boy that can surely get hot babe if he is sex starved, wise men cherish what they know they have/own not what they aint sure of.
how is it wrong to be sexual attracted to a gurl you geniunely love. is she suppose to be a decoration or a thing in his house.

6 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Kondomatic(m): 8:10pm On Dec 10, 2020
baralatie:

choi!

chai!

chei!

this girl do enter the snake in monkey shadow!
Since hunters have learned to shoot without missing, the birds have learned to fly without perching.


This here is the way guys do it since girls started disappearing after receiving tfare.



You get your money back once you show up.


@OP, you're taking a very huge risk sha.

4 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Mryacks: 8:10pm On Dec 10, 2020
dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG. believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.

You have just told this girl all she NEEDS to KNOW!

I mean he even said she should pay for her flight tickets he will refund....smh

6 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Wyry: 8:11pm On Dec 10, 2020
Nigerian girls are useless.

1 Like

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by dannex4adx(m): 8:14pm On Dec 10, 2020
jornwhite:




Are we been realistic here, if its that easy to figure the guy wanted sex what about the games women play or you want to pretend you're oblivious of that.
Who likes disappointment, what if he feels the gurl is not taking him serious enough, not every man would understand a woman that puts her career above everything ... because he is moody he does not love her, he should have hired saxophonist to show he cares
From the story, a guy that can afford 20k air ticket is certainly a big boy that can surely get hot babe if he is sex starved, wise men cherish what they know they have/own not what they aint sure of.
how is it wrong to be sexual attracted to a gurl you geniunely love. is she suppose to be a decoration or a thing in his house.

Noted sir! but just one question for you, if the girl was your sister, how will you advise her?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by Kondomatic(m): 8:16pm On Dec 10, 2020
dannex4adx:




I want to advise you like my little sister, if you like follow, if you no like don't follow! I know what I am saying. The guy doesn't love you, take it or leave it. if he really loved you he will cherish you. He was furious when you changed your plan of not visiting him again because he had planned how HE WAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU LIKE A MAD DOG. believe me! He doesn't love you. He wants sex from you only. God used the change of plan to reveal to you the kind of person he is to you but your foolishness will not make you to understand it. forget about him or else it will end in premium tears.
How do you know all these?



You concluded like you know the guy personally, like you've had a personal experience with him.


Do you even know how cheap sex is these days? Why go through all these just to have sex if sex is the only thing he wants? The babe said they've been chatting for some time so she knows the guy enough.


I have had someone visit me from Facebook.


Lodged her in a hotel.


Passed the night in same room with her yet nothing happened.


The world maybe mad but everyone isn't evil.

17 Likes

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by dannex4adx(m): 8:22pm On Dec 10, 2020
Kondomatic:
How do you know all these?



You concluded like you know the guy personally, like you've had a personal experience with him.


Do you even how cheap sex is these days? Why go through all these just to have sex if sex is the only thing he wants? The babe said they've been chatting for some time so she knows the guy enough.


I have had someone visit me from Facebook.


Lodged her in a hotel.


Passed the night in same room with her yet nothing happened.


The world maybe mad but everyone isn't evil.

I understand you very well bro. you are correct "The world maybe mad but everyone isn't evil." but the way the babe narrated the whole thing, I can bet with you that the guy doesn't love her.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Love Him So Much But I'm Afraid I've Lost Him. by richieray: 8:28pm On Dec 10, 2020
You mentioned you're a decent girl,and also you have someone you're seeing,yet you plan on traveling to see another man.Kindly remove the word 'decent' from the write up, thereafter we know the kind of thunder to assign to you.Thank you.

3 Likes 2 Shares

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