LadyTianna:


Lol sorry o madam. I didnt know you did census to be able to determine that majority of Nigerian women use housemaids.


We're talking about a submissive housewife. As in, no career apart from managing the kids and home. Why would a woman without a career get a maid? Some do, but not majority ok

Titi03:


You don't need a "census" to face reality madam,
How many wives in your environment are solely responsible for chores and childcare in their homes?
Even those who don't have maids have at least one live-in relative who helps out around the house. Don't be silly.

larryking540:


except you meet a lazy man ,a man who is ready to work and fed for his family with his charming queen by his side care less if the lady is highly
educated or BSC holder ,make she just smart that is all I cherish,who education help ,I have a degree in poly and university,I careless about an extreme educated lady ,make she just smart and confident on her skin ,that's all

LadyTianna:


Lol some of you nairaland men can be so funny. The same men who will say they want submissive house wives are the same people who will be shouting "what are you bringing to the table? Only the hole between your legs".

Nigerian men don't know what they want

Allow women to pursue their degrees and careers so that they can bring it to the table for you

Titi03:


You don't need a "census" to face reality madam,
How many wives in your environment are solely responsible for chores and childcare in their homes?
Even those who don't have maids have at least one live-in relative who helps out around the house. Don't be silly.

Unik3030:
don't get it twisted,that a woman is submissive doesn't mean she doesn't bring things to the table....it's possible,read about alakija interview n u will understand better.

Though I am a kinda guy that doesn't really care about societal standings on some issues but I believe people define happiness in different ways n we should always learn to live with our choices irrespective of the consequences

Denique:
It has to do with us trying not to be a liability—to ourselves, to the society.

The average Nigerian woman needs twice the amount of time of her western counterpart to achieve same feat; reason these people seem to be more independent than us, marry earlier than us.

It isn't about competing with the men; neither are we hoeing. For some of us, it's about bringing something to the table which takes us longer time to achieve due to our environment.

Back then, our mothers didn't need to have a means of livelihood before being taken(married). The narrative has changed!

Our modern men want a woman graduate, in some cases an MSc holder...working or owning a thriving business. These things don't come easy, especially: for most of us who didn't/don't have the foundation, connection, means, coupled with ASUU strike. So many factors impede a ladies marital growth.

Below is a link to a thread and Kriss216 made a resonating comment. As much as it isn't excusable, a lot of us take to it to survive.
Where then, is the time for such persons to marry early?
https://www.nairaland.com/6328015/blood-sister-smash-phone-lock

LadyTianna:


Okay. What I'd like to know are the things men want women to bring to the table tho. Someone here said money, food, shelter and protection. Is that your stance too?

Unik3030:
like seriously it all depends on the individuals involved, different strokes for different folks but the basis is that a lady can b of value(any good definition goes well depending on d guy) n at d same time b submissive

larryking540:


except you meet a lazy man ,a man who is ready to work and fed for his family with his charming queen by his side care less if the lady is highly
educated or BSC holder ,make she just smart that is all I cherish,who education help ,I have a degree in poly and university,I careless about an extreme educated lady ,make she just smart and confident on her skin ,that's all

Unik3030:
God bless you my brother

Shortyy:


Don't be daft, did I tell you I wasn't happy with my job? I'm only saying that it can be a hindrance to one's happiness. Y'all think with your dîcks and not your brain most times. Always read to assimilate before commenting. Orangutan.

LadyTianna:


Okay. What I'd like to know are the things men want women to bring to the table tho. Someone here said money, food, shelter and protection. Is that your stance too?

LINTUNE:
understand his point, we are talking about gf here not wife, everyone knows that being a housewife alone is enough contribution to.any home, no sensible man would complain about his "house wife" not contributing anything....he was talking about girlfriends, being in a relationship with an average nigerian gal, are u trying to say, as gf, gals are only expected to offer sex..

Derinofzion:
Who told you our mothers that married early lived an happy life,happiness shouldn't be tied to a woman's marital status.All i can observe from this thread are bunch of confused men who dosen't know what they want and also things has changed.

LadyTianna:

Many guys never give satisfying answers to the question. Apart from money and sex, most guys don't know what they want in a woman

Titi03:




I disagree.

Men have always known what they want and have always been able to express it freely up until recent times.

We know what they want but we shame them for it, that's why they no longer say it - out of fear of being branded misogynists.

We now live in a time where women can freely admit what they want in a man; (provision and resources) while men are no longer allowed to have any standards.

They say they don't want fat women - oh that's body shaming!
They say they like fair ladies - that's colourism!
They say they want a housewife - that's oppression!
They say they want a woman who can cook - oh I'm not your maid!

See the problem here?

Titi03:




I disagree.

Men have always known what they want and have always been able to express it freely up until recent times.

We know what they want but we shame them for it, that's why they no longer say it - out of fear of being branded misogynists.

We now live in a time where women can freely admit what they want in a man; (provision and resources) while men are no longer allowed to have any standards.

They say they don't want fat women - oh that's body shaming!
They say they like fair ladies - that's colourism!
They say they want a housewife - that's oppression!
They say they want a woman who can cook - oh I'm not your maid!

See the problem here?

LadyTianna:


The thing that you don't realise is that the same way there are certain men who enjoy washing their women's undies and making breakfast for them in bed is also the same way there are girls who enjoy pampering their men and taking care of their men like babies. But we're all forced by society to act differently in public.

Its just a fraction of Nigerian women who are "feminists". The rest of us have nothing against them saying what they want. And many men still do it

Seems you don't know what misogyny means. Its men's hatred for women like the way they do when they slut shame us, age shame us, marriage and barren shame us etc. So what excuse do you have against those ones oh ye defender of men?

Modified: titi03 you see that screenshot I attached? It was created by a mature man. What he said is a fact. Where is the energy they usually display when women are raped for no fault of theirs? Why aren't they all clamouring for justice for Don Davis with that same energy? They hate us and its true. They love it when we're hurt. Obviously there'll be some angry women

Titi03:



Hmm, you are right on this one.. it's quite disappointing that men aren't fighting for Don Davis the same way women are.. I wish they would channel their energy more on things that matter tbh. I've aggressively and consistently used my relatively large platform on twitter to lend my voice to #JusticeForDonDavis and sadly I've seen more women do the same than men.

But back to the topic, I tend to approach things on a level playing field - I do not support what women of this generation have turned feminism into and I don't agree that traditional roles of cooking and cleaning should be classified as "slavery". Every gender has it's own responsibilities - call me a "defender of men" all you want.

LadyTianna:


I don't know if you people think I'm speaking French. I understand that the duties of a wife and a girlfriend are different. I'm saying since the woman isn't married to you, what exactly do you people want her to bring to the table. That's the question no man here can seem to answer

Ikea81:
A popular proverb say na old age ashawo dey know the value of pikin

Patriarchy001:


Unfortunately, men are to blame for this.. under the guise of feminism, women have clamoured for equal privileges while refusing to take on the responsibilities that come along with that and men allowed this by pandering to 'political correctness'.

Never in the history of time have we had such an amount of lily livered men who cannot hold women responsible for upholding their own side of a relationship/partnership. Women have now branded their own responsibility as "oppression" while ours remains "responsibility" - and we allowed that.

LadyTianna:


The thing that you don't realise is that the same way there are certain men who enjoy washing their women's undies and making breakfast for them in bed is also the same way there are girls who enjoy pampering their men and taking care of their men like babies. But we're all forced by society to act differently in public.

Its just a fraction of Nigerian women who are "feminists". The rest of us have nothing against them saying what they want. And many men still do it

Seems you don't know what misogyny means. Its men's hatred for women like the way they do when they slut shame us, age shame us, marriage and barren shame us etc. So what excuse do you have against those ones oh ye defender of men?

Derinofzion:
Men will be shamed for their choice of women because an average nigerian man wants
A wife that is submissive to the core like our grandmothers,that obeys her husband orders even if it dosen't favour her.
A war wife(a prayerful wife that will blame the devil if their husband sleeps around and abuse her physically,mentally)
An independent woman that brings something to the table.
A beautiful woman with sense while the man has none.
They don't care about the woman's mental health and they don't care if she's happy with her being treated as a second class citizen just because of their selfish intrest.
How wont they be shamed when a lot of women are tired of being a slave.

Priam:


Funny enough, it's your fellow women that do these things more to each other than men do.

tobechi20:
They are happier than our grandma

Patriarchy001:



It is nature's call - an undeniable inbred desire for most women to raise children.. take Linda Ikeji for example who despite all her achievements being a millionaire, admitted that having a child was the most fulfilling experience of her life.

This is the same reason why no woman is happy when she gets married and doesn't have a child... why women start to wish for a husband when they reach their 30s (like Seyi Shay) .. or turn motivational speakers like Toke Makinwa, showing off material things online to mask her unhappiness.

It is an inbred desire for a woman's sense of accomplishment to be tied to her ability to nurture a child - call it God's will or Evolution.