Just Drop A Smile - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 11:22pm On Apr 24, 2011 |
lol. alwaes knew u were a sharp guy |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 12:32am On Apr 25, 2011 |
Sure hun, i will always remain sharp 4 ur sake. . .but for other gurls? Lie lie na mumu i go dey act so. . .El take a bike or Idowu's skirt, **response** abeg bike too much for my hand, una no get wheel?? Wetin i go carry skirt wey get opened roofs do??  |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 10:15am On Apr 25, 2011 |
lol. badt guy |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 1:03pm On Apr 25, 2011 |
It was a nice weekend, so John spent the morning driving around looking for yard sales. After just a few minutes looking, he spots a sign posted in someone's yard that reads "Talking Dog For Sale." Interested in what this might actually be, John knocks on the door. The owner calmly tells him the dog is in the backyard. So he goes back there, and sees a German Shepherd sitting there next to a small doghouse. "You talk?" John asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. Much to John's surprise! "Umm, yeah, so, what's the deal. How can you talk? What's your story?" The Golden Retriever looks upward with the most sincere eyes and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." John is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit." |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 4:36pm On Apr 25, 2011 |
Lol |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 12:12pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
Waiter why is my plate wet? Asked the Customer Thats the Soup responded the waiter  |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 12:15pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
Dnt rly undastand dis wan. |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by ARareGem(f): 12:28pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
Lol El, the restaurant bad o. Yinks, imagine u ask for the day's special soup and some1 brings a plate that looks like it was just rinsed. Yet, the waiter says that's the soup. Can u see how colourless, little and tasteless the soup must have been and it probably cost an arm. |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 12:37pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
Naw i get it. Tanx 4 d heads up |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by ARareGem(f): 12:43pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
u'r welcome |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Sophizzy(f): 2:47pm On Apr 26, 2011 |
Nice jokes. Keep'em coming. |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by akunta(f): 9:53am On Apr 28, 2011 |
| cos these jokes deserve more than a smile. |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 12:16pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles! The new nurse asked another nurse Why is he doing that? The other nurse replied Oh he just likes to call the shots around here |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 12:30pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
A man from the Internal Revenue Service knocks on a door and it is opened by a little boy. "Good afternoon," the I.R.S. man says. "I'd like to speak with your mother. Is she home?" "Yes," the boy answers, "She's out in the back yard, screwing the goat." The man exclaims, "Son, it's not nice to make up stories like that!" "But it's true," the boy says. "She really is out back screwing the goat. Come on in and I'll show you." The boy brings the taxman into the house and walks him over to the picture window that faces the back yard. Indeed, the mother is out back screwing the goat. "Oh, my God!" the taxman says, astonished. "Your mom really is screwing a goat! That is so wrong! Doesn't that bother you?" The little boy answers, "Naaaaaaaaah!" Stay Fresh One night as a couple was getting into bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband grumbled and turned over to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over, tapped his wife again and whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" =============================== Human Interest Story A young journalist had gone to work for the local newspaper. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to him and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state. Deep in the woods, he came upon a farmer's house and decided this would be a good place to start. He introduced himself to the back country farmer. "I'm doing a human interest story and I'd like to interview you," the young journalist said. "Sure thing," the farmer replied. "Okay," the reporter began. "Tell me about an event in your life that made you very happy." The farmer replied, “One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all screwed it, we took it back to the farmer that lost it!” “I can’t print that!” said the reporter, “Can you think of another event that made you happy?” The farmer thought for a minute and said, “Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin’ young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. She was 18 and she was willing. After all of us screwed her, we took her back to her daddy.” "I can't print that either!" the journalist said. "Let's try something different. Tell me about a time in your life that made you really sad." The farmer hung his head and replied, “Well, I got lost once, ” =============================== Large Woman Fetish A man with a fetish for very large women walked into a brothel. "Good evening," the madam greeted. "What can I get you?" The man answered, "I really like large women and I want a big one." The madam showed him a big woman, but he shook his head and asked, "Do you have anyone bigger?" The madam showed him another, even bigger woman. "Better," he said, "But I want someone bigger. Matter of fact, I want the biggest woman you have!" The madam brought him to the biggest woman who worked in the brothel. She was enormous. "Perfect!" he said. The woman brought him to her room and soon the two of them were going at it with him on the top. After a few minutes, he suddenly stopped and said to the woman, "Sorry, do you mind if I turn off the light?" "It's me, isn't it?" she replied. "You don't find me attractive because I'm so big and fat, right?" "No, no," he said. "That's not it. I think you're beautiful. It's just that the light bulb is burning my ass!" =============================== Country Love A young, lonely man was driving along a winding country road when he came across a stunningly beautiful hitchhiker, so he stopped to pick her up. A few miles down the road, the woman started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled over to the side of the desolate, deserted road. Once the woman had the man's pants down to his ankles, she surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists to his ankles. Then she robbed him of his wallet and clothes, and drove off in his car. Once she was out of sight, the man struggled to his feet, but couldn't free his wrists from his ankles, so he began hopping alongside the road in a desperate attempt to find someone to help him. A short time later, a trucker pulled up alongside the troubled man. "What happened to you?" asked the trucker. "I picked up this hitchhiker," the man said. He proceeded to explain his plight. The trucker listened to his story, then stepped down from his truck, unzipped his pants and remarked, "Well, your day is about to pick up, buddy." |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 5:41pm On Apr 28, 2011 |
| The trucker listened to his story, then stepped down from his truck, unzipped his pants and remarked, "Well, your day is about to pick up, buddy."  |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 12:29am On Apr 29, 2011 |
Swrthrt dont tell me that the bolded lines are the moral lessons u learnt today? |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 8:53am On Apr 29, 2011 |
El Guapo: no be u teach me  ??meanwhile, long time no talk  |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by jossy1luv(f): 9:24am On Apr 29, 2011 |
U really crack me up good. Tnx |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 1:48pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
^ Tnx Dearie, my pleasure  @Yink, Swrthrt am sowy not to have been around for u, hope u didn't miss me soo much? Anyway am around for Ya again  |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by yinkalink(f): 5:50pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
El Guapo: what can i sae  different time zones different priorities |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by surebaby43(f): 7:03pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
@ El Guapo, you too much i dey feel you. |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 9:31pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
^ They never tell u wetin i dey do thread derailers abi? Just drop a smile or even a laff n here u are wiv advertisement! Abeg NTA Warri area 9 stil dey operate yinkalink:Hun i understand how u feel but u have to understand how much atop i take u for. . .can u believe that i mistake calin my colleagues rite names for Ya? U're always in my mind [i swear wiv my new Tuxedo] n i'ld be there for u anyday @Surebaby, All my pleasure dearie, but er u're feelin me huh? Now tell me whats my body temperature? |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 10:16pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
A group of doctors were at a convention in Switzerland. The topic of discussion was the new medical technology from their countries. 'In my country," a German doctor said, "medicine is so advanced, we can perform heart surgery on a person on Monday, and have him back to work in 2 weeks." "That's nothing," a Japanese doctor said. "We can perform an appendectomy on a person on Tuesday, and have him back in work by Saturday." "That's nothing!" said a Nigerian doctor. "We can take a Gorilla from Ogun state, put him in the Aso rock and half the country is out of work the next day!" * No Insult Intended to OBJ just a joke * |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Mysticalz(f): 10:56pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
Lol me likey them and likey the poster El, El can u do me that u do do Omolola in ur room at dating section? |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 11:04pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
^ You again! Am on my knees begging u, plz leave me alone, am hapi wiv my N.l love life wiv Yinka n nofin links Lola to it plz |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Mysticalz(f): 11:09pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
you can walked around enuf 4 love but me is feel funky tonite, just come e-finger my ass n pusxy |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 11:15pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
No chance Wh.or.e Moreova i dont spend my worthful time wiv Bad Stricken engrish Distributors like u who are looking for young guys to violate in N.l and the world at large |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Mysticalz(f): 11:18pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
dont made me angry El. Come pull down my j string n roll in ur 22' rod |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 11:22pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
J string?? That clearly entails u've got no botty U'r derailing this thread Lady! Stop and walk out Pls |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Mysticalz(f): 11:25pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
opens leg wider, el am already wetted come and get me screaming pls come n bang my pusxy |
| Re: Just Drop A Smile by Nobody: 11:29pm On Apr 29, 2011 |
Who brought in this H'orny ediot here?? This what u do to our nation's name in Italy? Harlotting? God save ur damn soul Amen |
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