deejay717: Yes. The first year we dated I was unsure but after the warning from my girlfriends I asked if he was here legally .... After showing me his documents my friends still suggested I be careful

are your Nigerian girlfriends Igbo? First, a lot happens and don't let anyone start bringing in sentiments into your relationship. Don't make him feel like a suspect, atleast you guys have enjoyed 3years of the relationship with no serious quarrels. I'll suggest you post this in romance section and am very sure you'll get a good response.

deejay717: I appreciate this thread... I too am a African American female dating a Igbo man we have been dating for close to 3 years now. And since I've started dating him all my Nigerian girl friends seem to want to "warn" me about "their" men. Is it hate? Are they just looking out for me? I'm not sure... But I do know I love my man and he loves me. The connection you two have is what matter girly. . . good luck

deejay717: Yes. The first year we dated I was unsure but after the warning from my girlfriends I asked if he was here legally .... After showing me his documents my friends still suggested I be careful

Don't let outsiders ruin your perfect relationship for you. Since you've checked his papers and seen he's legal, you have no other problem to worry about. If he were into for legal reasons, he would have married you since but according to you, you guys have only been dating for the past 3 years now. You'll have to learn to pay less attention to what outsiders say, especially concerning your relationship.

The same Nigerian girlfriends of yours who are warning you about 'their' men at the end of the day will end up marrying the same Nigerian men. Probably they don't feel happy that a Nigerian brother isn't into a Nigerian sister.

Like you said, what matters is the connection you have between the both of you.

Lea28: BigFrancis raised the question concerning slaves imported from the Bight of Benin to the Chesapeake region of Maryland and Virginia. He raised a really good point. So how did my mother's Yoruba ancestor end up there? One answer is maybe she was purchased else where and brought to Virginia, or maybe she was one a few that came in on a small shipment between 1761 and 1774 - only 180 slaves, according to WEB DuBois Slave Trade Project. I'm having issues with my PC (it's about to crash and burn at any minute), so I can't post the article or charts for you to see, but it is interesting. The link is http://research.history.org/Historical-Research/Research... The article is called "New Findings about the Virginia Slave Trade" by Lorena S. Walsh.

My family was from the Rappahannock area, and this is the only documented port that received slaves from the Bight of Benin in Virginia. Wow, I just noticed that! The earliest known, but undocumented ancestor was born maybe around 1800. One of the imports could have been her mother! Unfortunately I didn't get interested in genealogy until after all the old folks who could have maybe filled in some of the blanks had pass on. I have collected every document I could find online, but it looks like I am going to have to make a trip to Virginia to continue my research.

That was a nice expose. Thanks for pointing that out.

I'm totally in support of the DNA testing for African Americans.

Now you can proudly say, I'm half Angolan half Nigerian.

When are you coming to Africa?

Lea28: BigFrancis raised the question concerning slaves imported from the Bight of Benin to the Chesapeake region of Maryland and Virginia. He raised a really good point. So how did my mother's Yoruba ancestor end up there? One answer is maybe she was purchased else where and brought to Virginia, or maybe she was one a few that came in on a small shipment between 1761 and 1774 - only 180 slaves, according to WEB DuBois Slave Trade Project. I'm having issues with my PC (it's about to crash and burn at any minute), so I can't post the article or charts for you to see, but it is interesting. The link is http://research.history.org/Historical-Research/Research... The article is called "New Findings about the Virginia Slave Trade" by Lorena S. Walsh.

My family was from the Rappahannock area, and this is the only documented port that received slaves from the Bight of Benin in Virginia. Wow, I just noticed that! The earliest known, but undocumented ancestor was born maybe around 1800. One of the imports could have been her mother! Unfortunately I didn't get interested in genealogy until after all the old folks who could have maybe filled in some of the blanks had pass on. I have collected every document I could find online, but it looks like I am going to have to make a trip to Virginia to continue my research.

I tried visiting the link you dropped severally but I got the 404 error code message. Check the link for correction and drop it again for me.

I regret stumbling upon this thread, but I've got to say this before I walk out...it's unfortunate how a simple request for relationship advice has deteriorated into a racist, tribalist SHOW OF SHAME. The MOST SHAMEFUL aspect is that it is perpertuated by so-called HISTORIANS and "knowledgable" folks, ultimately demeaning the souls of all dead AFRICAN slaves and ancestors. Every tribe/group/country possess certain traits, but is that to say all are the SAME. ***shakes head***

Whether your ancestors are Bantu or whatever, you're all AFRICANS! (Look at the mirror for confirmation). The Europeans, Asians et al histories are as diverse as we are, but the difference with regards development remains clear.

It is sad, though, for the African American who seeks a true sense of identity while searching for his/her roots...and then happens to stumble upon a thread like this.....she/he MAY gladly say to himself, "SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNKNOWN (unsaid)"

....And then y'all wonder why we Africans aren't taken seriously.

***EXITS THREAD***

habapalapa: I regret stumbling upon this thread, but I've got to say this before I walk out...it's unfortunate how a simple request for relationship advice has deteriorated into a racist, tribalist SHOW OF SHAME. The MOST SHAMEFUL aspect is that it is perpertuated by so-called HISTORIANS and "knowledgable" folks, ultimately demeaning the souls of all dead AFRICAN slaves and ancestors. Every tribe/group/country possess certain traits, but is that to say all are the SAME. ***shakes head***

Whether your ancestors are Bantu or whatever, you're all AFRICANS! (Look at the mirror for confirmation). The Europeans, Asians et al histories are as diverse as we are, but the difference with regards development remains clear.

It is sad, though, for the African American who seeks a true sense of identity while searching for his/her roots...and then happens to stumble upon a thread like this.....she/he MAY gladly say to himself, "SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNKNOWN (unsaid)"

....And then y'all wonder why we Africans aren't taken seriously.

***EXITS THREAD***

Why are you ranting like a mother hen. Why not quote the post that gives you concern instead saying all this trash about an insighful thread like this. What is racist or tribal about the comments?. Sometimes, I wonder why people can't make a simple comment without sounding like a retar.d. I know people like you will keep viewing the thread.

slimmy05: Why are you ranting like a mother hen. Why not quote the post that gives you concern instead saying all this trash about an insighful thread like this. What is racist or tribal about the comments?. Sometimes, I wonder why people can't make a simple comment without sounding like a retar.d. I know people like you will keep viewing the thread.

Dude, are u looking to start ur own fight? Cause I think the guy made a valid point. This thread really DID derail. Regrettably.

Radoillo:

Dude, are u looking to start ur own fight? Cause I think the guy made a valid point. This thread really DID derail. Regrettably.

I think you're a biased person. Quote the valid points he has. Is that the possible way of resolving issues. If he has any problem with the thread, he should point it out in a matured manner. I am very sure Mrs Chima directed him to the site to make such coments, cos I don't see any correlation between his coments and the thread. Expect him to quote his displeasure and not generalize.

slimmy05: I think you're a biased person. Quote the valid points he has. Is that the possible way of resolving issues. If he has any problem with the thread, he should point it out in a matured manner. I am very sure Mrs Chima directed him to the site to make such coments, cos I don't see any correlation between his coments and the thread. Expect him to quote his displeasure and not generalize.

The way he said what he said is mature enough. You calling him a retard on the other hand isn't.

Saying this thread derailed is correct. Perhaps u need to go through it from the beginning and see how it all came to this.

Don't tell me you didn't 'see' all the fights and the 'ethnic' undertones there.

I just don't think you should jump into a thread u don't know how it began and start calling people retards. There's enough verbal abuses flying around already without u adding to it.

Radoillo:

The way he said what he said is mature enough. You calling him a retard on the other hand isn't.

Saying this thread derailed is correct. Perhaps u need to go through it from the beginning and see how it all came to this.

Don't tell me you didn't 'see' all the fights and the 'ethnic' undertones there.

I just don't think you should jump into a thread u don't know how it began and start calling people retards. There's enough verbal abused flying around already without u adding to it.

To me, that's not a mature way to address issue. Well, I know a lot went down, doesn't mean you should run down the thread like that. When I know there is already so much hate for the Africans. If he had come up matured by stating his displeasure in a sensible manner without lowering anyone I wouldn't have called him that. His comment was just too harsh and he didn't act any different from jayvals and Mrs chima.

^^^ why didn't you quote Mrs chima and jayvals stating your displeasure about their actions or comments? Why didn't you call them to order since you're the intermediary? Why did you watch the thread go down this lane if you were genuinely concerned?

Intermediary! LOL. Perhaps u didn't notice I'm one of the 'scammer-Africans' Jay cussed out yesterday. . And I did register my displeasure.

Thanks Big.

bigfrancis21:



Don't let outsiders ruin your perfect relationship for you. Since you've checked his papers and seen he's legal, you have no other problem to worry about. If he were into for legal reasons, he would have married you since but according to you, you guys have only been dating for the past 3 years now. You'll have to learn to pay less attention to what outsiders say, especially concerning your relationship.

The same Nigerian girlfriends of yours who are warning you about 'their' men at the end of the day will end up marrying the same Nigerian men. Probably they don't feel happy that a Nigerian brother isn't into a Nigerian sister.

Like you said, what matters is the connection you have between the both of you.

Yeah they are Igbo as well... And even asking for his info made me feel very intruding ...... Of course I want to be informed but only if I have suspicion. I learned that sometimes letting others in your relationship can b risky business. Lucky for me he was not bothered and wondered why I hadn't asked early on.

slimmy05: are your Nigerian girlfriends Igbo? First, a lot happens and don't let anyone start bringing in sentiments into your relationship. Don't make him feel like a suspect, atleast you guys have enjoyed 3years of the relationship with no serious quarrels. I'll suggest you post this in romance section and am very sure you'll get a good response.

deejay717: Yeah they are Igbo as well... And even asking for his info made me feel very intruding ...... Of course I want to be informed but only if I have suspicion. I learned that sometimes letting others in your relationship can b risky business. Lucky for me he was not bothered and wondered why I hadn't asked early on.

Good, let me tell you one simple truth. Its natural for the igbo ladies to start telling you stuffs about the guy they obviously don't know. They are just simply jealous youre taking the few men they have out there in USA to make do with. Be very careful and thread with caution. I smell jealousy, cos if you happen to be an igbo girl, it won't matter. So don't let them take your man away from you.

deejay717: Yeah they are Igbo as well... And even asking for his info made me feel very intruding ...... Of course I want to be informed but only if I have suspicion. I learned that sometimes letting others in your relationship can b risky business. Lucky for me he was not bothered and wondered why I hadn't asked early on.

Like I said get to know his family and a visa means nothing.

A woman can't take a nigga that doesn't want to be taken. If he want another chick he would find another chick.

One of those niggas that told you not to let outsiders ruin your relationship commented that Nigerian/Africans should be with their own. He has also said that Black Americans (you) are on welfare, lazy, uneducated, and have not contribute to anything positive but drugs and baby daddies.

Without much effort, he has contradicted himself. Lets get real.

If you feel secured in your relationship with the African then you should have no problem handling new surprises in the future.

One thing for sure...family is important to an Igbo man and if he care about you he would introduce you.

Good luck.

Radoillo: Intermediary! LOL. Perhaps u didn't notice I'm one of the 'scammer-Africans' Jay cussed out yesterday. . And I did register my displeasure.

Yes you did boo. .

But unlike the slimnot you didn't co-sign nor rode on any nuts.

He should be lecturing himself not you.

slimmy05: To me, that's not a mature way to address issue. Well, I know a lot went down, doesn't mean you should run down the thread like that. When I know there is already so much hate for the Africans. If he had come up matured by stating his displeasure in a sensible manner without lowering anyone I wouldn't have called him that. His comment was just too harsh and he didn't act any different from jayvals and Mrs chima.

Jay and guy were different from me...I didn't take anything those bishes said seriously and laughed at the dumbness. Of course I made a song and script since this thread is a joke.

Jay was having serious debates with battydumb. They were nut jousting until battydumber came to defend his bish. I thought it was pathetic to recruit help but I guess Jay was beating that azz.


Get it right.

Mrs.Chima:


Like I said get to know his family and a visa means nothing.

A woman can't take a nigga that doesn't want to be taken. If he want another chick he would find another chick.

One of those niggas that told you not to let outsiders ruin your relationship commented that Nigerian/Africans should be with their own. He has also said that Black Americans (you) are on welfare, lazy, uneducated, and have not contribute to anything positive but drugs and baby daddies.

Without much effort, he has contradicted himself. Lets get real.

If you feel secured in your relationship with the African then you should have no problem handling new surprises in the future.

One thing for sure...family is important to an Igbo man and if he care about you he would introduce you.

Good luck.

1) secure
2) he cares

bigfrancis21:

1) Secure
2) cares

1. Diop is not Indian.
2. U is a vowel.
3. An university is not ebonic.
4. Singular means one
5. Plural means 2 or more
6. Igbos aren't the only tribe/Africans that participated in slavery.
7. Jews aren't Igbo.
8. Rice University is not U.S. Census.
9. There is no such thing as Black English.
10. University of Lagos is not in America.
11. A certificate of proficient is not a degree.
12. The first Black man to performed open heart surgery is not Igbo/Nigerian.
13. Playing scrabble will not make you less dumb.
14. Wikipedia is not a credible source nor accepted in American universities.

Did you fond your brein too?

Game over!

bigfrancis21:

Is it helping your pain and dumbness?

Mrs.Chima:


Did you fond your brein too?

Game over!

LMAO. OMG . Francis, ignore this woman. Its very obvious its saw dust she has upstairs and not brain. This is what you get from an addict (excess coke) . I'm just worried about my brother Mr. Chima, who went to get a woman from rehab . I just pray its an open marriage. She sounds frustrated.

slimmy05: LMAO. OMG . Francis, ignore this woman. Its very obvious its saw dust she has upstairs and not brain. This is what you get from an addict (excess coke) . I'm just worried about my brother Mr. Chima, who went to get a woman from rehab . I just pray its an open marriage.

At least I knew Diop wasn't Indian and Jews are not Igbos.

Listen to your battybish. He is telling you he is neglected by the attention you are giving me Battydumb.

He is trying to get Chima!

Buhahahahahha!

Slimmy05, check out this thread:

https://www.nairaland.com/1430511/igbo-values-success-education-hardwork

It made the front page. Do drop your comments.

Being that both of his parents are late I've only had the pleasure of meeting the siblings that also live here in Houston and the rest i have spoken to over the phone a few times... and his immediate elder sister & i , always get together sometimes without his knowledge ....she even helps me out business wise by referring her friends to me to "make their hair " as u guys would say. I want to Thank you all for the advice .... Good or bad. And to all those speaking badly about Blacks just stop we r all human. I wasn't raised on welfare or without my dad at home both of my parents worked hard since teens to make sure i had whatever i needed and seen that it is hard being a Black person in this world because everyone views u just as that a "BLACK PERSON" instead of just a person. Y'all be good and don't kill each other please it ain't that serious its just Nairaland

bigfrancis21:

I tried visiting the link you dropped severally but I got the 404 error code message. Check the link for correction and drop it again for me.

Here is the link in its entirety
Http://research.history.org/Historical_Research/Research_Themes/ThemeEnslave/SlaveTrade.cfm. This is a great article. If for whatever reason this link doesn't work, there is probably a typo somewhere. Please Google the article - "New Findings about the Virginia Slave Trade" By Lorena Walsh. You will see that there were also a couple of shipments from the Bight of Biafra to Virginia.

As far a any future plans for visiting Africa -Nigeria, I would love to visit, but after reading some of the stuff posted on Nairaland, I am having second thoughts. On the other hand, here in the US, everyday there's something crazy going on. ....And it's not just Black Folks, we just get all the news press; What the others are doing barely gets a mention or they don't post their picture all over the news.

I can see from some of the posts that some people has issues with Igbos. Well, the ones that I know and work with are great. That's all I have to say.

Gotta go...

Lea28:

Here is the link in its entirety
Http://research.history.org/Historical_Research/Research_Themes/ThemeEnslave/SlaveTrade.cfm. This is a great article. If for whatever reason this link doesn't work, there is probably a typo somewhere. Please Google the article - "New Findings about the Virginia Slave Trade" By Lorena Walsh. You will see that there were also a couple of shipments from the Bight of Biafra to Virginia.

As far a any future plans for visiting Africa -Nigeria, I would love to visit, but after reading some of the stuff posted on Nairaland, I am having second thoughts. On the other hand, here in the US, everyday there's something crazy going on. ....And it's not just Black Folks, we just get all the news press; What the others are doing barely gets a mention or they don't post their picture all over the news.

I can see from some of the posts that some people has issues with Igbos. Well, the ones that I know and work with are great. That's all I have to say.

Gotta go...

@Bold...thank you very much for your sincerity. Bless your soul.

deejay717: Being that both of his parents are late I've only had the pleasure of meeting the siblings that also live here in Houston and the rest i have spoken to over the phone a few times... and his immediate elder sister & i , always get together sometimes without his knowledge ....she even helps me out business wise by referring her friends to me to "make their hair " as u guys would say. I want to Thank you all for the advice .... Good or bad. And to all those speaking badly about Blacks just stop we r all human. I wasn't raised on welfare or without my dad at home both of my parents worked hard since teens to make sure i had whatever i needed and seen that it is hard being a Black person in this world because everyone views u just as that a "BLACK PERSON" instead of just a person. Y'all be good and don't kill each other please it ain't that serious its just Nairaland

Yeah okay...I hear you. Take heed to all the red flags.

Just hope your Igbo man is not ignorant nor dumb.

Just saying. . Cheers!

Mrs.Chima:


Yeah okay...I hear you. Take heed to all the red flags.

Just hope your Igbo man is not ignorant nor dumb.

Just saying. . Cheers!

You sound frustrated and bitter. Its so very obvious your marriage is a sham. Keep forcing yourself on every man. Go get a life and stop all this rantings. No difference with a mad woman. So sorry for the man you end up with. He will surely be frustrated as you are.

If he was ignorant or dumb I don't think I would waste three years of my life on him
Just saying
Cheer up sweety like Slimmy said u sound a little bitter

Mrs.Chima:


Yeah okay...I hear you. Take heed to all the red flags.

Just hope your Igbo man is not ignorant nor dumb.

Just saying. . Cheers!

deejay717: If he was ignorant or dumb I don't think I would waste three years of my life on him
Just saying
Cheer up sweety like Slimmy said u sound a little bitter

^^^