Bros, I have a feel that your brother is the cause of all these nonsense..Maybe he has rubbished you before his wife and the wife is now seeing you as 'efulefu' (worthless)
I can assure you that if care is not taken, when you eventually plan to marry, she will be suspecting that it is her hubby that is footing all the bills.
Show her class and don't confront her with any explanation. Let her find out herself how you roll.....

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

look for anither apartment within your budget, coz wether you like it or not you cant change her mindset....

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

And what is wrong even if ur bro is still paying for our rent?
Ur bro is not really wise in divulging his wife's nagging attitude towards d matter.

The average wife won't mind her husband spending ALL his salary on her and her family but will 'raise shoulder' when she learns he is helping his own kin.

She will coax him into helping her fourth cousin travel abroad (visa+ticket) but still (hypocriticalky) challenge him if he buys jamb form for his own blood brother

Ur brother shd watch/wash his mouth else he facilitates d destruction of his marriage.

It is not everything that happens BTW him and his wife that he shd tell his family, and vice-versa

What is wrong with your brother helping you now that you are not working?Whatever happened to Charity work.These Wives are very selfish.If a favour is extended to a member of her own family,she will not complain.This is your brother's call and not yours. He should be the one to caution his Wife on family matters,who knows you may be the one to help your brother or his Children tomorrow.
Don't worry,what you are passing through is a phase which will also pass.

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

I guess its your joblessness that is worrying you. Otherwise what is your business with what a woman is thinking or are you a mind reader?

akanbiaa:
Where do you get money to pay for the apartment since you said you are not working, if you want her to respect you then she must be convinced you are working or doing business and not draining your brother of resources and also occasionally buy her things she will cherish as present and with some cash also(the cash is best given when they have a child, just say it's for the child)

Must be ment! Trying to appease her because she's feeding him or she's the second in command to God.

Best is to ignore this kind of people, avoid there house and distance yourself from them, including the brother since he has no balls.
The more you move around this kind of people, the more they cause you humiliation.

He doesn't owe her or anybody explanation on how he live his life. Stop humiliating yourself by trying to make useless people feel important, by giving them unnecessary attention. Both the husband and wife is mad!

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

I understand.

Let her husband handle it joor


Which one is doubt within months of marriage.

Make she pack well, does she not know you are capable to make her life miserable in that marriage.

You don't need to confront her. Why? What for? Just let her be. You don't owe her any explanation or confrontation. Let your brother know what to tell his wife and what not to tell his wife about his family.

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

Don't, allow her to come out from her shell first ( she dey pretend all this while)

Lazycapitalist2:
Op is not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

1. He has no job yet is able to pay for an apartment? A big apartment even

2. And he expects his brother's wife not to be suspicious of him?

I would be if i was in anyway related to him.

Op should tell us his source of income because i find it difficult to beleive he can pay for a flat without a job. Something is smelling here , and it isn't the wife's attitude

Wow! So many comments. I didn't expect this to get the visibiility it did. For those wondering, I don't think I need to explain my source of money. It is not illegitimate anyways. But I'm a careful spender and a good investor. I am not an azaman.

marwanafrica:


I wish i know you in real life, i don't intrude in other peoples life but in your own case i wont mind to monitor you when you are married and see if ypu will really not end up as such men.

You married folks who couldn't handle there woman right really struggling hard to make this simping of a thing the standard. No!it's not the standard, it's you that have tolerate what you should not.

Women are like children, you shape them into what you want once they come into your life, while you care for them like you care for a child. They are meant to be handled with both iron and soft hand just like somebody said in the thread. The one that refuse to be calm is not your match.

It's really devilish fighting your husband for paying his brothers rent and all you could do as a husband is stay at her mercy and trying to convince her you're not paying it. To think he's not even paying it.

We didn't grow up see our mothers doing this shitty things.

CountVersailles:


Wow! So many comments. I didn't expect this to get the visibiility it did. For those wondering, I don't think I need to explain my source of money. It is not illegitimate anyways. But I'm a careful spender and a good investor. I am not an azaman.

I think you need to explain to your sisterinlaw..(or get her husband,your borther to do thee xplaining,) the full details of how you make your money, and how you are paying for your accomodation so that she can have peace of mind....if, as you say, your source of money is legit.

Because, let's be frank, women worry about money a lot...especially when they get married and start thinking about how their children would be fed.And any spending they deem unecessary attracts their attention....

OmoOgunOriginal:
I would advise that you give her a wide berth afterwards. She clearly doesn't want good things for you. Does she expect that you should be thrown out and become homeless?

very wrong advice.

Re: Should I Confront My Brother's Wife? by niyiduke01(m): 6:58am On May 05
My piece of Advice.....1.How did you know that she has been nagging about your brother paying the rent..If it's your brother that told you, fine. Then you called everybody together I mean the 3 people involved. Explain to her and show the receipt of the last payment with your name written on it.Then you will save everybody a lot of headache.PEACE



My broda u have said it all shikena

[quote author=CountVersailles post=101392256][/quote]

I wondered why more than 90% comments I read, condemned the wife.

Let's break it down and assume that the wife nags about it.

That discussion was just a discussion between husband and wife, why would your brother told you about it?
It means your brother is not mature enough to be married. The wife might be worried considering the fact that many grown-ups refuse to be independent.

2. What if it's a cunning way your brother is using to disconnect you from his financial life. He doesn't have any budget for you anymore based on the increase in his own needs. He only wants you to find a way to keep getting the house rent paid.

Just a manipulation!

When would people allow others to live their lives freely, give freely without being a burden or feel entitled?

madridguy:
Evil wife. What's are business if it is your brother that is paying? Your brother has married a selfish wife that her only mission is to scatter your family.

No need for these needless insults. She's not a wicked wife. Things aren't easy these days, this most likely is the reasons for her telling her husband to minimize spendings.

oluwafreshkid:
This is a very sensitive issue. If you're married, you'll understand why his wife is concerned about finances.
Are you 100% sure you paid the last rent? Or you've just only agreed to pay when it's next due?
Do not take it up with his wife, cos you don't know the level of influence she has over him. It may cause a rift between you and your brother.
Emphatically tell you brother to make it clear to his wife that you're now in charge of the rent.
Device a means of "flaunting" or telling her how you're making money despite being jobless and connect it to paying the rent.
Shes a woman after all, if you know what I mean, so don't take up arms against her.

Very sound advice.

I don't get it, why is she complaining or nagging. Are they facing some financial issues presently or she's not getting enough from your brother. If your brother can afford the bill what's wrong him paying house rent for his brother Pending when you have something doing.

CountVersailles

post=101392256:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is this something I should do?

adadike:
My advice is for married women to treat their in-laws the same way they want their husbands to treat their family members

The future is adadike

Collyno82:
The future is adadike

na so

Firstly! u said u are jobless!....and secondly the House is quite expensive... So how do u meet-up with the demand of the house or is there something u are not telling us?

brownemmanuel43:

U are absolutely right my brother, its just painful that we only have few men with balls, majority of men this days na weakling and SIMPs all over. Bcs no woman born of a woman dare try that rubbish around me

It's not a muscle thing. No be by strength brother. Women de wait until she born. If na Igbo Woman untill she born boy.

If all ur siblings get money una no go ever get problem. Buh if one person na dangote n de rest na nothing, wahala go dey.
It happened to my cousin that's y I have this knowledge. So what my rich cousin did was to establish de poor ones to stand, now de are all one. No hatred or quarrell

oluwafreshkid:
This is a very sensitive issue. If you're married, you'll understand why his wife is concerned about finances.
Are you 100% sure you paid the last rent? Or you've just only agreed to pay when it's next due?
Do not take it up with his wife, cos you don't know the level of influence she has over him. It may cause a rift between you and your brother.
Emphatically tell you brother to make it clear to his wife that you're now in charge of the rent.
Device a means of "flaunting" or telling her how you're making money despite being jobless and connect it to paying the rent.
Shes a woman after all, if you know what I mean, so don't take up arms against her.

show her how you're making money,,, efaihear. Na your type day dey use< for your family because of woman(wife) mtcheew

It is better that she continues too
believe what she already believes do not try to change her mind . In fact do everything to encourage that belief

CountVersailles:
Maybe "confront" is the wrong word to use here, but let me explain.

My brother and I had been sharing an apartment for a few months before he got married. He recently left to take a separate place with his new wife, who I'm friends with. No issues between us. Since my brother left I have been staying in the old apartment alone and paying the rent all my myself. Now, my brother's wife who is quite sensitive about their finances thinks that my brother is still paying for the apartment. This is because he was the one paying before, since he had been staying there for months before I moved in.

Now, I can understand her concerns. The reason she is thinking this is because,
1. I am not working, and she knows. So, she cannot believe I can pay for the apartment which is quite expensive
2. she knows my brother was the only paying before I moved in.

She doesn't realize I have taken over the payment since last two months, and has been nagging my brother to stop paying for the apartment even after he insists he is no longer paying. Maybe, she thinks he's lying to him.

I hate that this is going on. Maybe it's my ego, but I feel like talking to her directly and telling her that her husband is no longer paying for the apartment. Is t his something I should do?

Pls my little question..how are you able to pay since u said u av no job and the rent is quite expensive?...

Nonexistent:
See how vagina people break homes everywhere. This man and his brother have been living peacefully until a woman came into the picture. Now she has come to teach the man how to spend his money, the money she never contributed anything to make. Gld punish that your brother wife.

Iseee!!!

keypha1:
Same way my brother wife asked in our annual December family meeting, if is only her husband will be bringing money for food in exmax, every body was shorck, while we are discussing an important things, even shame Catch her husband.

Waooo! how did it end?

Don't let your ego bring you out. You may be going before your shadow if you bring the issue up to show "i am the man in charge".

Things may not work out tomorrow on your side financially and your brother may step in to bail you, so why should you announce beforehand that you are in charge. Nobody knows tomorrow. Let the issue continue, as long as you are paying now and you have the receipts. Thats all that matters. Let her keep thinking whatever. Dont burn your bridges too early.

Explain how he get money to her for what exactly? Make una no dey encourage rubbish na.
As per his mother abi watin?

So the whole family is now a surbordinate to her because she's a "wife".

He doesn't owe anybody explanation. He hasn't step out of his boundary.
Best is to ignore her and give the family space. Distance brings respect.

Lazycapitalist2:


I think you need to explain to your sisterinlaw..(or get her husband,your borther to do thee xplaining,) the full details of how you make your money, and how you are paying for your accomodation so that she can have peace of mind....if, as you say, your source of money is legit.

Because, let's be frank, women worry about money a lot...especially when they get married and start thinking about how their children would be fed.And any spending they deem unecessary attracts their attention....

CountVersailles:

Yes, my brother told me. I already told him to explain to her that I'm now the one paying, but she doesn't believe him.

I'd advise you to totally ignore her.

It isn't your business what she thinks about you. You have nothing to prove to her.

If she doesn't have the boldness to approach you, then it's none of your business.

When she decides to confront you, you give her a piece of your mind put her in her place. Make sure you rub it in well. Then free her.

She's a silly woman.

spinna:
Just casually mention it in conversation..tell her you just came from seeing the landlord.Dont confront her

best advise

I dont know why she will be behaving like that,

IF YOUR BROTHER CHOOSE TO BEAR UR BURDEN , provided he is baering HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY BURDEN, WHAT BUSINESS of hers is it.........

this life is too short for all these meaningless frivolities



BUT THAT NOT WITHSTANDING, U YOU SHOULD PAY A VISIT AND JUST TRY TO THROW IT AT YOR BROTHER IN A CONVERSATION, BRO NAWAOOO, SINCE U MARRY , U NO JUST WAN ADD LITTLE THING TO SUPPORT MY RENT, U KNOW SAY MY HAND NEVER STRONG.....,THEN GREET THE WIFE AS USUAL.......



BUT ALL THESE WOMEN PREVENTING THEIR HUSBANDS FROM HELPING THEIR SIBBLINGS, WHAT IS THEIR OBJECTIVE IF NOT JUST BITTERNESS AND JEALOUSY

TOMMORROW NOW, IF THEIR HUSBAND TURN AGAINST THEM, THEY WILL BE ASKING WHAT THEY DID WRONG...........
""PEACE ONLY"""

You are still connected to them some how

If you can afford to pay the rent, though not working, then stop totally from depending on them for anything. Not even a dine.

Don't have ill feelings towards her either. Your worthy overtime will bring desire respect.

Ire o