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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags - Romance (20) - Nairaland

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by esthel(f): 8:35am On Jun 24, 2021
This aunty doesn't seem to have any problem. There are familes where one party is a Christian and the other Muslim and they have no issues.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Funkybabee(f): 8:35am On Jun 24, 2021
MisterGrace:


As expected, a so called gbogbo kabashing sister is rude as usual.


Lols, see you

U still find fault in my respond.

That's what we are saying.

Okay, let me give you an example.

U met a man, u are talking online, or physically, he did something unsual as a spiritual minded, u observe or atimes correct him. He answered to back it up

U look it off, I mean u did not count it

So when you finally met, he's trying to touch you, you caution him immediately that's against the scripture commandments, he said know and used another bible work to back it off, u still try to let him understand that it's not allow through God's commandments, evn using a book to back it off.

He didn't answer and still continue his move note , he's a well know church members, where u expect them also to be filled with word.

Do you now want us to blame his church of not teaching him the right word no or he's just totally an unbeliever.

Can you answer me?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by naturefellow(m): 8:37am On Jun 24, 2021
DDDEnterprises:
I'm sorry oo.

But isn't he also a "Christian"?

I'm only asking to learn please not to spite.

Catholicism isn't Christianity
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Olanre05(f): 8:37am On Jun 24, 2021
Tloc:


My dear young lady, that path of religious piety which you assume you on is your step to DOOM. Stay woke and refine your RELIGIOUS views to be in tandem with contemporary life realities and grow your inert spirituality. Be far away from religious extremism and you would live a more fulfilled LIFE. I am sure that young man's mind and soul is purer than all your Pentecostal pastors' put together. Shalom.

I figured she has been brainwashed.
And simply don’t know what she wants.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by GHOSTMODEBIZA: 8:39am On Jun 24, 2021
A friend of of mine is happily married to a Muslim lady with 2 beautiful kids and they are living a very happy life.
This op go Las Las end up for shilo
Abeg drop the guy number cus so many serious girls here need life partner

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ajufoalex2(m): 8:40am On Jun 24, 2021
��� where is the red flag ?

So cos he doesn’t bind and cast in the middle of the night he isn’t a born again Christian abi

Wo u never ready to marry
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by wirinet(m): 8:40am On Jun 24, 2021
miketayo:


You seem more like the problem here. When u were a Catholic, were u worshipping d devil or I don't understand. Not until u kabash in prayers before God will hear u. Quit d relationship let d poor man find a better half
Abeg help me ask am, was Jesus a Christian, was any of the disciples born again, did Jesus himself impose all these doctrines on his followers?
To me Jesus was not a religious fanatic, he eat with sinners, he entered the house of sinners, he never condemned anyone (except the Pharisees for their hypocrisy).

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by GHOSTMODEBIZA: 8:40am On Jun 24, 2021
naturefellow:


Catholicism isn't Christianity
Says who?
Deputy Jesus
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by tunize(m): 8:41am On Jun 24, 2021
For your mind now you are more of a christian than him abi? Just because u became a pentecostal member which was your choice now you are forcing or want him to change church his refusal now made you a better christian keep it up.
Since you said he is not the one for you, you dont need advice or some convincing kuku break up and date a well suitable christian as u claim.

LAS LAS EVERYBODY DEY TRY BECOS EVEN BIBLE WHEN YOU DEY READ STILL CONFIRM SAY NO ONE IS RIGHTEOUS
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by iupac120: 8:41am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:


First, I want to apologize for the statement insinuating that Catholic Christians are less Christian compared to Pentecostals. That was not meant to be a generalization. The reason why faith is my principal concern is because, as a Christian, there are certain ethics and codes of conduct a person adopts and practices that guide their actions and decisions. It is the crux of the matter for me.

Many of the comments are asking for elaboration especially with regards to other aspects besides spirituality. Some of the red flags in terms of his attitude and behavior that give me cause for concern are how he relates with ladies; I found that he cheated on me a couple of times. Some of my friends who are married assure me that it is nothing to worry about because “men will always be men”. However, I feel like overlooking that means ‘settling’. Also, he tends to act like we’re competing for career success. I’m a banker and he works with a company and is well paid. From comments he makes when I make attempts to pursue growth, like take courses or attend conferences to network, his response shows that he thinks it’s a waste of time and resources. I don’t always expect him to give me financial support, even if encouragement. But he feels I should be content with my current status. It scares me that he may staunch my progress after marriage.
I’m no saint myself, but I know marriage is a lifetime affair and just because I didn’t look before I leaped into the relationship doesn’t mean I shouldn’t at this point try to make amends.

Dear Op, it is necessary to look before you leap. Don't mind many comments castigating your observation. The way of a Christian is totally different from the way of the world. (1cor3:14) Marriage is a committed one needs a divine guidance. Give yourself to personal prayer to seek the will of God either to GO ahead with the marriage or not.
Many of the commentators failed to understand your concern. Being in Catholic or Pentecostal churches does not mean that your a christian. Many people attend churches as a result of be brought up in that environment but the life of the spirit which makes them Christians is not in their life.
I can say that are emotionally attached with your fiance and that is why is you are finding it hard to pray and it might hard to understand clearly what the Holy Spirit is ministering you until you separate emotion.
God is always wants the best for His children.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by cugardmalino: 8:43am On Jun 24, 2021
Aboki go and drink kunu. So because you’ve joined yahoo yahoo church you think you’re born again. Let me just advise you now, the devil is fucking up your thinking. When you were a catholic you enjoyed his views towards God. You’ve joined the one that will make u single till you turn sugar mummy. Talk to your pastor to give you one of his assistant pastors. Either you manage the one you have or remain single.
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by seaway: 8:43am On Jun 24, 2021
You are not being honest here. Deep inside you, you know there is more to this.

Let's do some analysis here:
1. You have been with him for 3 years, yet that's not enough for you to know if he's the one or not.

2. All of a sudden, you gave your life to Jesus. You didn't take him with you when you were giving your life to Jesus. You said you made a mistake by not praying about it at first. Are you referring to the time you have not given your life to Jesus or are you referring to now that you have given your life to Jesus? The time frame is not adding up because if you said you should have prayed about it at the beginning, was it the time you are still non-Christian because that means you shouldn't have prayed anyways or you don't know what prayer is at that time.

3. You are saying that catholics are not real Christians because you are now a non member. That's so childish.

4. Is your bf a chief priest? What made you think he is not the one just because he's a catholic. You think you are better than the guy. Such a shallow mind.

You are just looking for an excuse to try the new guy That's all over your Dm. This new guy is making you LOL. You lover his fancy, you just like that he's vibrant. His is bringing something new into your life. You think your bf is just not meeting up. We all love new stuff, but every thing gets old my dear.

Women sha. Good luck the new guy. Hopefully you won't change your mind on him too.

[You have said it all,she's not been sincere]
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Blackdisciple(m): 8:45am On Jun 24, 2021
You guys were both ok when the both of you attend Catholic church but suddenly things changed because you are no more in Catholic.

If you are talking about being saved, the calling of Christ to everyone has his or her own time to answer pending on when He ( Christ ) called you

Just imagine it was the opposite I strongly believe you will say he is wicked,he is seeing someone else, he is selfish, he is ungrateful, after all those years.
For you feeling you are saved and he is not, and you want to leave him, lemme tell you something Christ called you through someone and you will have to reach out to another too , and another to another , that's how it goes.
Besides he is attending Catholic doesn't mean he is not saved.

So you think say marriage na moi moi abi, ok
You sound like a selfish Christian, and that's what Christ will not take.
Spiritually and physically you are selfish.
He shouldn't make the mistake to marry you because you will be that type of wahalla Christians that sees others as infidels maybe you tried to reach out to them or maybe not.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 8:45am On Jun 24, 2021
According to Adenkunle Gold " If it would cause my peace,then I would take my leave"....simple..... Remember there is no Advice on Social Media......Nah only you know where e dey pain you...

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ozueozue(m): 8:46am On Jun 24, 2021
Kindly drop the guy's contact, so we can talk to him, he will give our single sisters here listening ears
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 8:46am On Jun 24, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Marry someone with a different believe to yours to convert them?

A recipe for marital failure.
Let her pray
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Thryphosa(m): 8:46am On Jun 24, 2021
Na so this aunty go do wey she go lose this guy, your younger sister don marry, soon all your friends go marry leave you coz of your unseriosness. Continue!
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Blackdisciple(m): 8:47am On Jun 24, 2021
seaway:
You are not being honest here. Deep inside you, you know there is more to this.

Let's do some analysis here:
1. You have been with him for 3 years, yet that's not enough for you to know if he's the one or not.

2. All of a sudden, you gave your life to Jesus. You didn't take him with you when you were giving your life to Jesus. You said you made a mistake by not praying about it at first. Are you referring to the time you have not given your life to Jesus or are you referring to now that you have given your life to Jesus? The time frame is not adding up because if you said you should have prayed about it at the beginning, was it the time you are still non-Christian because that means you shouldn't have prayed anyways or you don't know what prayer is at that time.

3. You are saying that catholics are not real Christians because you are now a non member. That's so childish.

4. Is your bf a chief priest? What made you think he is not the one just because he's a catholic. You think you are better than the guy. Such a shallow mind.

You are just looking for an excuse to try the new guy That's all over your Dm. This new guy is making you LOL. You lover his fancy, you just like that he's vibrant. His is bringing something new into your life. You think your bf is just not meeting up. We all love new stuff, but every thing gets old my dear.

Women sha. Good luck the new guy. Hopefully you won't change your mind on him too.

[You have said it all,she's not been sincere]

Bros see me see trouble ooo.
That guy will make a mistake if he marries that girl wallahi
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by valinno(m): 8:48am On Jun 24, 2021
Thank God you discovered before the wedding,most of the time, the issues couples are experiencing in their marriage, the signs were there during courtship, but they ignored it, and now, they are living in regret, your spiritual life and destiny in God is more important than anything else on earth, follow your inner person because it never lies,many will talk,but your future is more important than peoples talk, only those who are mature in faith will understand what you're going through now, they will tell you there's nothing wrong, that it's one God, but the truth of the matter is that alot is wrong, you ve seen both sides, and you know the truth now,marry who have a relationship with God, and not a church goer who doesn't even have a prayer life, imagine you praying in the Holy Ghost, and your husband carry chaplet and start counting bids in the name of prayer,I'm sure you know that a couple who cannot pray together in agreement, cannot grow together,so quit the relationship.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by mrksquare: 8:48am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...


People that ain't overly religious are more rational than people who profess to be born again. I can't get married to your kind sister.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by authority2006(m): 8:48am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

I think this man should stay away from you, not the other way round you are trying to portray. You are definitely going to be a problem for him with your this religious enthusiasm and fanaticism. I wouldn't marry your likes for anything in this world!

Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion sad
zed7:
If your only complaint is that he isn't a fanatic then you have no problem.
A well behaved moralist is better off than a religious fanatic without morals.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by nams77: 8:49am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you made Christ the centrepiece of your being.
If your concern is only because he is lukewarm towards the things of God and he is not bad in other areas, then talk to God about it, pray for him and also talk to him lovingly too.
Make him see that you want your kids to look up to him as a spiritual beacon.
My Dad wasn't religious when he married my mum. Infact at a point, he was not happy about her church activities but he was an exceptionally good man. Long story short. He became an elder later on and died a devout christian.
Myself i wasn't really passionate about church. I pray in my cubicle and have a personal relationship with God but I didn't want to do anything in the house of God. Now, the story has changed after several people and even strangers have told me that God wants me.
I'm now striving towards working for him.
Things do change my dear. Talk to the holy spirit to touch him.
If after praying you experience a peace and calmness when you think about him, then go ahead.
No human is 100& perfect.
Wishing you the best

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Beatswim: 8:50am On Jun 24, 2021
ALLFATHER14:


So it's the guy that is not saved abi!!?? Because the saved them dey write am for face
am talking to the op not you sir, foolishness is the word of the Cross to them that perish,to we the children of God,its the power of God..there is no association between the light and darkness..be wise
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by tonieguy(m): 8:51am On Jun 24, 2021
Are you seriously serious undecided
You sound so holier than thou.

Please, urgently leave the guy as I think you do not deserve him.
Let a reasonable lady have him.

I see your type everyday. So caught up and brain washed by pentecostal pastors.
You should even wait for a vision from your pastor for your life partner.

My advice is that you should leave the young man since you are no more comfortable with going ahead with the wedding.
This is because when the marriage starts experiencing challenges lik every other marriage, you would always second guess and blame yourself for choosing a wrong life partner.

Also note that Christians marry Muslims and they live happily. Christians even marry other non Christians and they are happy. Methodists marry Anglicans ; Anglicans marry Catholics ; Redeemed marry Living faith., etc. And they are all happy.
The key ingredient required is love and understanding which you seem to lack.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Xano(m): 8:52am On Jun 24, 2021
aanuoluwami14:
Broken relationship is better than broken marriage. Talk to him better. I don't see any joy in not happy in a relationship.

My advice:
Marry someone you are spiritually at peace with. Marriage is not about manage.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Sophy22(f): 8:54am On Jun 24, 2021
jaeyking:
After the first paragraph I just realized that you are NOT SERIOUS
so when you were a Catholic you were not saved, you got saved in a pentecostal church
Hmmm madam till you meet lion before u go know wetin dey xup
You just said my mind.
The girl is insane. Mtcheeeeeeeeew
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Issues2(m): 8:54am On Jun 24, 2021
I did not see any red flag in what u just said changing of church should be personal conviction and not been spiritual and who told who catholic church is not a good church habaha aunty be wise dont allowed ur mind to throw away all wat u have started building for yrs in a trash all in d name of religion..pls still pray against d spirit of confusion thanks

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by melodyogonna(m): 8:55am On Jun 24, 2021
One thing I won't do is marry a religious fanatic.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by divine2288: 8:55am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider 0getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
you are not ready yet there... Is he serving the devil?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by dnawah(m): 8:55am On Jun 24, 2021
Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion sad
if u no know u no go know.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by sterlingD(m): 8:56am On Jun 24, 2021
AgentGoat:
Catholics no be christian again?

abeg who get that south african coach meme wey he dey clap hands.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by galadima77(m): 8:56am On Jun 24, 2021
zed7:
If your only complaint is that he isn't a fanatic then you have no problem.
A well behaved moralist is better off than a religious fanatic without morals.

Nice

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