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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags - Romance (18) - Nairaland

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by cocolacec(m): 7:53am On Jun 24, 2021
engrgab:
It's really sad how we have been too religious in this country. You should think of other attributes like morals, beliefs, etc. Moreso, he is a Christian which should be a plus. Except you are of the opinion that Catholics aren't believers which to me is myopic.
All I can say is check yourself very well.
Nigerians are not religious ,we are very good religious cultists.This applies to Muslims and christians.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by sandra50(f): 7:55am On Jun 24, 2021
Talk to him about what really? because he has refused to join her now church..he is good in aspects then she is looking for more..she go old.
aanuoluwami14:
Broken relationship is better than broken marriage. Talk to him better. I don't see any joy in not happy in a relationship.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by sexy74(m): 7:55am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
When good thing wan happen we go take spirituality and self righteousness spoil am.

My sister check you are funny becaus eyiu joined the pentecostals you now see him as not spiritual to your standard.

Lose what you have and regret later .

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Rushna27(f): 7:56am On Jun 24, 2021
intro isn't marriage, if u ain't satisfy with him take ur decision cos no one is gonna stay in d marriage with its u and ur head alone................ u know wot u want and it's better u know wot God wants for u too......... take it to God in prayer by ursef not by going to meet pastor upandan cos dey aren't d one who will stay in it for u... ur personal conviction has a long way to go in helping u keep up in d marriage.... all d best

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by antobrige: 7:57am On Jun 24, 2021
where is in in bible that God gave mandate that we must pray before we.. Or rather wait for his sign of approval..

Rather he said he who finds a wife.. Which means u choose for ur self...
No go let all dis pentecostal sister life make u loose husband.. Maybe cos the guy takes one or two bottles of bear, he does not follow u to ur pastor church.. Then u blv he's not right to gv good upbringing to his children..
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Arielle: 7:58am On Jun 24, 2021
Eduboy1990:
Get what she is saying born again child of God is different from normal Christian or church goers so try to understand
You really are an idiot. So you imagine you are better than others because you attend a pentecostal church (i won't bother giving my views on those as they are so not worth my time). Our backward society is mired in superstition, religious hypocrisy, intolerance and selfishness. People like you enable this. Yet you are the ones fasting and praying for visas to 'ungodly' countries.
OP, i hope you do that young man a favour by leaving him. He deserves so much better than you.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Spectaclesawe25: 7:58am On Jun 24, 2021
Their will be one born again brother for you in your new church that will match your level of spirituality but may not match your social standards.
By the time you leave this guy and comeback to nairaland to ask what you should do because your husband only sees heaven as the ultimate and is dead socially, then i will know how confused you are.
Mummy Jesus is now born again and now knows who is not spiritual.
Be looking for solution where their is none.
Your faith cannot save that of your child or husband.... Everyman will stand before God to give account.. There are many failed parent who are priest themselves, stop working spiritual matters with physical xteristics.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by litaninja(m): 7:59am On Jun 24, 2021
Surely I can see the difference in foolishness...

CSTRR:

For example, Someone that goes to every night vigil organised by their Church, fast often, prays often, and pays every seed offering, versus someone that only goes to church every Sunday during mass and rarely prays.

Surely, you can see the difference in spirituality.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by aydfather(m): 7:59am On Jun 24, 2021
Op I totally get you. Better late than never. Continue to pray about it and pray for him, if possible talk to your pastor or someone you good in high regards about the issue. Any issue you don't have peace about, it calls for concern. Marriage isn't something one should just jump into. A failed courtship is better than a failed marriage. During courtship years, a guy and his lady should discuss about their morals and ideologies, it not necessary you both need to agree on everything, but when it comes to spiritual matters like this, you can't just ignore. I would advise you to take your time and pray more about it.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Amotekun777: 8:01am On Jun 24, 2021
Awon 'Holier than thou...' angry
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by rajiedreez: 8:01am On Jun 24, 2021
Ok I've heard you
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Xscape1993(m): 8:01am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
You are the problem here and not the innocent man. How do you know that he is not a good Christan? Who even told you that Catholics are not better Christians? Are you now God that controls the heavens and the earth? You brought problems into this relationship the very day you claimed you have seen the light and left the Catholic Church.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by sandra50(f): 8:01am On Jun 24, 2021
Madam you old..what do you mean saved..does he not go to church?so you want to tell him how to worship his God and if it's not your way then he is not saved..I guess that your pastor that might be f..ucking most of the girls in your church in secret is the one that is saved..like I said,you go oil..let him go and he will marry someone better than you..who will not be asking for something as stupid as religion..this church you are talking about is it not the one that we read online..the ones that f..uck everyone in church?the ones that kill for power or you are sure your pastor is different because he has not been caught..like I said..you go old by the time you realise you are making a big mistake..you will get old and single at the end..
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by thinkmoney(m): 8:02am On Jun 24, 2021
DDDEnterprises:
I'm sorry oo.

But isn't he also a "Christian"?

I'm only asking to learn please not to spite.
The fact that u go to organisations that call themselves churches like catholic, deeperlife, redeem etc doesn't make you a Christian or make them Christians really. True Christians are those that follow the bible teachings without muddling it up by some 'traditions of men'.
My dear, I must tell u that many churches today deviates at some points from the bible. Let me give you one subtle example that will shock u now. Do you know that the practice of saying 'the grace' after every prayer is more a 'tradition of men' than a bible obligation? Hmm mm, u are shocked or taken aback? We all have to consider ourselves really and ask if we are truly what we say we are
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Marigold2rock(m): 8:02am On Jun 24, 2021
From the depth of my heart , I'm not sure u're ready to settle down. So ur Criteria for a perfect man is about him being aligned to ur supposedly way and pattern of worship( the Pentecostal way).
Come to think of it in the western part of the country ,Muslims and Christians get married without any glitches pertaining to how they nurture and raise their children in the faith they want to align with. And here you are complaining and looking for fault over irrelevant things
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:02am On Jun 24, 2021
I think you are the mistake he's about to make. They have succeeded in brainwashing you.

It is best you trace your steps while you still can.

Imagine seeing yourself as more religious than another person.

Trust me, your pastor and all those who indoctrinated you as all scams and yahoo people.

I'm really angry that a so called graduate can be brainwashed to this extent.

Get the fxck out of his life so that a more sensible lady can give him peace and joy.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Funkybabee(f): 8:03am On Jun 24, 2021
And like someone said, be praying for him

Invite him to your church program, share fliers or anything.

Don't enforce him Biko, let Christ life shown in you that he will be able to think and reconsider
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:03am On Jun 24, 2021
amokeme:

The bold has led many people into regret and boundge. Understand that people have their lives to live. YOU are the one that will be in the marriage with that man, not the people whose opinion you are worried about.

Please dear, marriage shouldn't be a joke, it should be enjoyable with someone you'll be at peace with. Everyother person will be alright


What was the sin of man again?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:06am On Jun 24, 2021
Funkybabee:
And like someone said, be praying for him

Invite him to your church program, share fliers or anything.

Don't enforce him Biko, let Christ life shown in you that he will be able to think and reconsider

How una dey reason sef? Is the man a pagan?

When did being a Catholic become a sin?

He's not cheating, wayward and a drunkard.

I mean...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Snowx: 8:06am On Jun 24, 2021
[s][s][/s]
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
[/s]
Had it been you re close to me now I wld have given you a very dirty and hot slap for confinding this to me. Born again mugu

Let me tell you..Catholics are not hypocrites like that your Pentecostal church you claimed that saved you.

Mark today you will still go back to Catholic church and they will call you back as a sister that returns to sacrament.

Religious Bigot!!!
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Waper2(m): 8:06am On Jun 24, 2021
So, when you where in Catholic church your life was with the devil, God will help you, before you'll realise what is happening to you it will be too late, be following motivational speakers.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Bbbwings: 8:06am On Jun 24, 2021
Black people are hopeless.
Rhe white man really did a number on us.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:08am On Jun 24, 2021
TruthOverFacts:



This is coming late, I know other responses may have changed your mind, but I say stick to your spiritual instincts. Don't ever go ahead if you are not sure it's God's will. Bible says "as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they're the sons of God". You are now a new person whom you weren't before you met him. So, your life now and before are not the same.

Furthermore, Bible says not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. See, i have a very spiritual lady who is God's tool but her husband is her Achilles heels. She made exact same mistake you are about making now and is regretting it daily. Guess you know that as a Christian once you get married, you are under the authority of your husband? Guess you know too that this means his orders will always conflict with God's own in your life?

I have been in your shoes before, but I left the lady cos she is not just a Catholic but cold towards spiritual things and of course she wasn't God's will for me. Leaving him is a price you gotta pay for Christ. Don't mind those asking you what the problem is etc. Finding the will of God is more than just being Christians. Two born agains can be in the same church but do not have the same destiny. Even if he were to be a born again, it still isn't enough to take the marriage vows with him if he is not God's will. Ignore some comments here cos they are making them from a carnal standpoint. A carnal mind cannot comprehend the things of the Spirit. God help you.

I know your type.

You are not just an extremist but a cunning serpent.

Leave the lady alone.

What did the young man do to you?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Funkybabee(f): 8:10am On Jun 24, 2021
MisterGrace:


How una dey reason sef? Is the man a pagan?

When did being a Catholic become a sin?

He's not cheating, wayward and a drunkard.

I mean...

I don't know why you guys also have IQ without using it to reason properly

Is it about church

You think going to a church means that u are saved
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:10am On Jun 24, 2021
Biglittlelois:
Your church denomination will never take you to heaven, on judgement day, God will not ask for the name of your church, He is after your heart, mind, spirit, and soul,

If your man isn't spiritually inclined as you'd like, guide him through the right path with love and prayer, most couples are never on the same page spiritually, they grow along the line,

Don't loose a good man because of what you are been fed in your church, there are good and bad people in every denomination.

I think the lady is very naive and those wolves in the Pentecostal church are taking undue advantage of her.

He's not cheating, not a drunkard, a fraud or unfocused.

I think this naive lady is actually the mistake the young man is about to make.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by DeBiafran: 8:11am On Jun 24, 2021
Holier than thou woman. Kontinu
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Johel(m): 8:11am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...


Go and marry God Na...mumu...dey there dey form spiritual when na evil full your mind pass....be with him and put all in God's hands,always allow the will of God prevail....blind religious people.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by shopnimini: 8:11am On Jun 24, 2021
zed7:
If your only complaint is that he isn't a fanatic then you have no problem.
A well behaved moralist is better off than a religious fanatic without morals.

The problem is that SHE is the fanatic.

She should just let the guy know so he can move on with his life.

There is nothing worse than getting married to a religious fanatic undecided
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Localordinary: 8:12am On Jun 24, 2021
Dem don confuse this one. You were once a catholic, he is catholic, what makes you think that you are a born again and that there no born again in the catholic church? E be like say na mountain of fire dem convert you to. You better wakeup,Cos you are snoring.


mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MisterGrace: 8:12am On Jun 24, 2021
Funkybabee:


I don't know why you guys also have IQ without using it to reason properly

Is it about church

You think going to a church means that u are saved


As expected, a so called gbogbo kabashing sister is rude as usual.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by shopnimini: 8:13am On Jun 24, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Please tell him so you can both move on with your lives.

Since you are now a religious fanatic you will only make his life unbearable because it is people like you who worship and will eventually sleep with your pastor while married undecided
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Oscarlaurenzo(m): 8:13am On Jun 24, 2021
I thank God for the life of that Brother, I pray God saves him from your type. So because he isn't Practicing your type of Christianity, it means he is lukewarm in his spiritual life.
So till he leaves the Catholic church, he is not yet born again.

Your type is part to the Problem we are talking about in Christian Dom, I fear ladies that act this way.

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