pansophist:
I'll tell you my rule, and maybe it will help you. Marry a woman you're older than, preferably a five years benchmark. Exceptions do apply, but try as much as much as possible not to marry a woman older than you or even the same age.

Casham:
For me, I don't care what the accepted norm is or is not. I just want to live with a person who will be my friend and confidant. I will prefer someone with a two year gap(older or younger). But This is not strictly exclusive. It is each person's prerogative to decide for themselves. I can marry a woman 50 years older or younger if it comes to it.

Jeon:


For me
5 years space is enough.

kokaneprodigy:

You need to quit whatever it is you are smoking then come back and edit this post.

charlito94:


If I say age doesn't matter I might not be fully sincere. Individual perspective varies a lot. For me I can't marry someone 5-6 years older than me and same to the fact I can't marry someone I'm older than with a 5-10 years gap.
For me I'm more comfortable with someone of same age grade.

Well love covers it all but i will still advixe never marry someone far above your age except she doesn't look the age.

AfroKnight:
To be safe let the wife be younger. Gap shouldn’t be too much. You guys should be able to enjoy similar childhood cultural memories.

Boss13:


Then you are in for a joke. A woman who is 2 years younger than you is not actually your age mate. She is far above you and more matured than you.

You need to think about marriage critically. It is a huge life changing decision. As a man, this is not something to toy around with. You must be pragmatic and logical when it comes to choosing your spouse.

I have a thread on this and this was complied based on my personal experience as a married man, the experiences of my married friends and the naivety of young men today.

Casham:
well since you are talking out of experience(yours or others' you witnessed), I will respect that. But I will take it as just a general guideline rather than a strict rule. I believe no single moral guideline applies at all times to all people. I respect your opinion and advice sir. I will take note of it.

Boss13:


This is not necessary for a healthy marriage. An older man can actually enjoy memories with his younger wife. This is dependent on the disposition of the man and not the woman.

I would have loved to give you a personal experience but do not want to disclose sensitive information. However, I can confidently tell you the age gap to enjoy the company of each other doesn't matter.

Elevation:
Marry the will of God, you can't marry with your naked eye alone you need God to choose for you unless you're ready to divorce your spouse in future. I am a living testimony my wife is way older than I am, but I chose God's will and I am enjoying it, everybody is unique you mustn't marry an older lady (as a man) but in any case marry in God because when fire comes to test the foundation of the marriage, it will stand the test. God bless you.

Boss13:


You have married wrong and I am willingly to dedicate 30 mins of my time to debate you on this.

Rozcol:
Let the kids come abeg,I don't even have their time.Seriously if you see the face I make whenever a very young man dy toast me ehn,in my mind I'll be like this one is already thinking of how he's going to hit the booty with his herbally enegerzied penis and when he's tired of toasting he will find his level.

Boss13:


You have married wrong and I am willingly to dedicate 30 mins of my time to debate you on this.

Boss13:


Sure, there is no hard and fast rule on certain things in life. However, based on my experience and others. I will strongly urge young men to consider marrying younger women. Trust me on this. Women are generally stubborn, regardless of age. Also, with this liberal nonsense going on especially on social media, younger men are going to find it difficult having women follow their lead.

The last thing a man needs is a woman who does not respect him. I have a friend currently experiencing this and he has been thoroughly emasculated by his wife and strip of his dignity. You do not want such situation for yourself.

Casham:
thanks sir. I will put your words to heart. I am planning to walk the aisle, at most, four years from now and I have not started girl-hunting yet. Thanks.

Boss13:


Since you don't have a prospective women at the moment. Go and read my thread on how to pick a wife. It is on the romance page at the moment.

Next, focus on increasing your earning power to ensure you are a good provider. This will increase the number of women available for you to select.

Finally, approach this exercise with a discerning mind and be critically logical. Love can come later.

Elevation:
In life it is important to base your points on the dictates of God and not just on the philosophies of men. Don't be too religious as not to listen to life vital information as well. If a woman or a man doesn't follow God genuinely, there will be serious challenges because there's no solid foundation on which to make key decisions. Even when you marry the God given marital choice, you'll still face challenges but it will be like

Isaiah 43:2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.


Then the tests become testimonies, challenges become steps to greater heights while trials become triumphs. God over everything.

Boss13:
Ten (10) years. However, this is still dependent on your ability to provide. If you are poor, your young wife will insult you and due to the wide age gap, you will feel the pain more.

10 years is preferable because as men we prefer respect to love and this age gap provides the buffer to mitigate against disrespect from not just your wife but also from her family.

To conclude, the age gap is important. However, your ability to provide is more important because it is in the biological nature of women to be cared for. Hence a woman would respect a younger man who take care of her than a poor older man.

MrSamsung:
Nigerians eh.
So marriage is about age.
Not maturity(which doesn't come with age)
Not good character and personality (which doesn't come with age). Not wizdom, agility and flexibility, financial capability not financial overbility.

So you will see a suitable male or female to marry but you let age override.

Do you guys even know the meaning of AGE in the context of marriage especially those on the fp

Boss13:


We live in a practical world and hence must act practically. Our religiosity has only made us lazy to think and act. Do you know the statistics of divorce within Christian homes? Probably you will tell me their homes were devoid of the presence of God - lies.

God cannot pick your clothing, food, and basic practical things and this includes your spouse. Else, we can all sit down and allow the Divine Providence to feed us, bathe us, cloth us, and even drives us to work daily. Can we for once stop these nonsense and start acting like Humans living on Earth.

The young man wants to know how to pick his wife. Can you be practical enough to guide him or be quiet if you don't know how.

Boss13:


Sure, there is no hard and fast rule on certain things in life. However, based on my experience and others. I will strongly urge young men to consider marrying younger women. Trust me on this. Women are generally stubborn, regardless of age. Also, with this liberal nonsense going on especially on social media, younger men are going to find it difficult having women follow their lead.

The last thing a man needs is a woman who does not respect him. I have a friend currently experiencing this and he has been thoroughly emasculated by his wife and strip of his dignity. You do not want such situation for yourself.

smeag0l:
Please qualify your statement on being in the biological nature of women to be cared for. This only applies to mostly African women

smeag0l:
Again, this only happens in west Africa and some other black African nations. I'll tell you what the problem is. West Africans believe in gender roles right from the beginning of their existence up till now. This means that the man is meant to provide for the family while the woman is meant to take care of the domestic needs of the family. There wasn't any issue with this until recently when young west African ladies started travelling out to places like the US and UK and imbibing their liberalisation culture. While I have no problem with this, my major concern is that the African ladies are not taking or imbibing this culture in full. They only take the parts that sooth them and also propagate it to their friends of same gender. I'll give an example. The Liberal White couple believes that the husband and wife should contribute equally to financial demands of the family. They also apply this same rule to everything including domestic chores. However, the african/Nigerian lady(they do this a lot) only takes up the part of her splitting domestic chores with her husband but will not want to split bills. More like wanting to eat your cake and have it. This is the number one reason why a lot of Nigerian ladies abroad don't have husbands or boyfriends. They took their narcissist mentality of a man being the one to ask them out, always being the one to call them, always being the one to pay the bills etc and have mixed it up with wanting to also split the chores with same man. Is that not unfair?

Elevation:
From the way you speak you need the touch of God. You are dwelling more on the physical things any home that is broken today never really allowed God my brother, if anyone needs a wife He should go to God He alone can get a good wife for Him, he will find but God will guide.

Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.


Boss 13 I do not know where you are or what you're doing, but I stand with the truth, don't do things mechanically consult God you will thank me later my friend as regards you telling me to be quiet if I do not know what to tell the young man, if you submit your utterances to the Holy Spirit you will not reply a brother that way. God bless you.

Boss13:


Let's put your reasoning to practical test. How do you test for maturity?

Do you agree with me that a baby and an 18 years old individual are not on the same maturity scale. What is the test of the scale - AGE.

What is your objective test of good character and personality? How do we validly test for this? Obviously we cannot reliably test for these values. However, we can all agree that the number of years an individual spend on earth can directly relates to his/her maturity and experience. There maybe outliers, but this is valid is most cases. I don't deal with outliers and reasonable people don't.

I think you have use words out of context such as agility and financial overbility, which is not a proper English word. Consequently, I cannot decipher what you mean.

Rozcol:
Let the kids come abeg,I don't even have their time.Seriously if you see the face I make whenever a very young man dy toast me ehn,in my mind I'll be like this one is already thinking of how he's going to hit the booty with his herbally enegerzied penis and when he's tired of toasting he will find his level.

Rozcol:
Let the kids come abeg,I don't even have their time.Seriously if you see the face I make whenever a very young man dy toast me ehn,in my mind I'll be like this one is already thinking of how he's going to hit the booty with his herbally enegerzied penis and when he's tired of toasting he will find his level.