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I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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What Are The Marriage Advise You Can Never Take As A Lady / I Am Scared To Ask Him When He Wants To Get Married. Help!!! / I Am Scared My Girlfriend Could Be A Lesbian (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by mmsen: 12:49pm On Jul 08, 2021
If you don't want to marry then don't do it.

Those who are pressuring you will soon pass and you will left dealing with the problem of following their limited examples of the human experience.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Legendrysailor(m): 12:55pm On Jul 08, 2021
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It will end in tears pro max grin grin grin
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Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by showafrica(m): 1:02pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?

One long gbola will solve this issue. Marriage is not friendship, its brother and sister (sibling) kind of thing. Take yourself as the junior sister, and everything will flow. Nothing to fear
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by cayorday89(m): 1:03pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
The dilemma I found myself... But I will get around it, that's for sure, it's just a matter of time..
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by chima4UK(m): 1:05pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
Hello,
Well done for seeking help. It’s a great thing that you are trying to discover your personality. I think some of the issues you mentioned were due to emotional damages caused by strict parenting in a typical African setting. When I was in a similar situation, I had to save some money and travel to a new location where I was challenged to live and act independently. This could buy you time to repair your emotions as well as reduce family/societal pressure on you.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by cayorday89(m): 1:06pm On Jul 08, 2021
showafrica:


One long gbola will solve this issue. Marriage is not friendship, its brother and sister (sibling) kind of thing. Take yourself as the junior sister, and everything will flow.
You just want to complicate things for her, that psyche will not work for her, cos she can't even deal with a friendly stranger and you want to see him as a brother, na that one worse pass, her level of discipline will not make her have that sexual relationship with the so called brother...
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by showafrica(m): 1:09pm On Jul 08, 2021
cayorday89:

You just want to complicate things for her, that psyche will not work for her, cos she can't even deal with a friendly stranger and you want to see him as a brother, na that one worse pass, her level of discipline will not make her have that sexual relationship with the so called brother...

I think she is a loner, the same way she treats her siblings might work. Iike i said, one long rod has a way of bringing such people closer
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by BigBashiru: 1:10pm On Jul 08, 2021
Hassanmaye:

You are not alone my brother, me I have concluded I will not marry because truly I don't take betrayal easily and you know how this girls behave now, I don't want to work hard and build empire and one daughter of Jezebel will come and stab me in the black

where is your son that will take over your empire when you are no more??
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Starzo: 1:15pm On Jul 08, 2021
don't get married simple.

marriage is not by force
If u nor like am,nor do am.

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by ednut1(m): 1:15pm On Jul 08, 2021
I fear who no fear marriage o

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by bukatyne(f): 1:19pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?

1. What are you really afraid of?

2. What type of man is your dream man?
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Champneys: 1:23pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?




Ok.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Austeeenxx: 1:29pm On Jul 08, 2021
Those of us wey go attend Shiloh 2030 too many abeg.

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Hassanmaye(m): 1:31pm On Jul 08, 2021
BigBashiru:


where is your son that will take over your empire when you are no more??
And who told inheritance is the exclusive possession of your children

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by iamdapsyj(m): 1:36pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?

Aunty, i can put it to you that you are a narcisst.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by MaryJane24: 1:39pm On Jul 08, 2021
You must be Dr Phil's older brother.
SpruceMediaNG:
The problem is your psyche,mental outlook on life, perceptions, perspectives and too much noise in your head.

To tackle this to it's root needs overhaul in your outlook,views,beliefs, perspectives,perceptions and assumptions


You're creating problems that don't exist in your mind. Declutter your soul and purge yourself of yourself.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by od501: 1:43pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?

How old are you?
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Onizuka: 1:46pm On Jul 08, 2021
Aunty Don't get married. Just date people that you fancy, so that when you're tired you can easily end the relationship without having to go through some stupid divorce settlement. The truth of the matter is that marriage is not for everyone, Whoopi (sister's act) tried it and decided it was better being alone. If it works for you thank God. No just rush am marry person you never see e complete bad side.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Belafonte(m): 1:47pm On Jul 08, 2021
Austeeenxx:
Those of us wey go attend Shiloh 2030 too many abeg.

As in. Make una dey reserve front seat, make anointing dey first touch una grin
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by GThunder: 1:48pm On Jul 08, 2021
see my soulmate shaayou are my soulmate Ajee
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by boldx(m): 1:53pm On Jul 08, 2021
Chocolateme,

Jesus is the only one that can give true peace.

Am I married? Yes

Do I sometimes go through rough paths in marriage? Yes

Is marriage always pleasant? No

How do I cope? I do my bid and depend on God.

You need to find rest and peace in God's word. No earthly love can equate to that.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by phemmyfour: 1:58pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
You have a faulty fundamental development. You can't go into marriage with all these baggage. You need series of therapy and lectures on

Anger management
Emotional stability
Social stability
Responsibility and availability
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by kendological(m): 2:05pm On Jul 08, 2021
I equally feel the same way.
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by labelle123(f): 2:18pm On Jul 08, 2021
Hmmmmm
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Hassanmaye(m): 2:22pm On Jul 08, 2021
KristaPretty:
Do whatever makes you happy my dear.

After being counselled and talked to but you're still scared of marriage and don't want to to get married? Please don't so. It is not a do or die issue as some people are married but unhappy. Society puts pressure on people too much in Nigeria (which I am sure of).

Due to personal encounters with several women who had severe issues and died, I developed severe Tokophobia (make una check google grin) and no matter the pressure do not see myself wanting to go down that path when married - Gestational surrogacy is the plan and I am hoping and praying for a man who would understand this.

You see this life ehn, na how you do am you go enjoy am. Do only what makes you happy without thinking of these negative shallow minded people. They judge others without hearing their story, they act like saints but are devils inside.

I no kukuma send anybody
Marry Me baby
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Jacku: 2:23pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
You're a female scared of marriage with probably suitors in sight, while I'm a guy that wish to get married but no female in sight lol, perfect irony yeah? Anyway, I can't give you a perfect advice cos we have different views to life. What I'll advice is trying your best to get out of Nigeria to a more liberal society if you have the means to (I don't to this to be insultive.), then let your parents know your stance about marriage and all, cos if you still remain here you'll definitely be pressured, but if you don't have the means to just explain to your parents. You only owe your marriage explanation to your family, not the society cos marriage isn't a do or die affair for everyone.

We're all on the pursuit of relative happiness, I pray we find it soon.

Goodluck

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by harmony75: 2:31pm On Jul 08, 2021
Don't rush study your partner all the bad signs are always there choose not to ignore �❤
Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by KristaPretty(f): 2:55pm On Jul 08, 2021
Hassanmaye:

Marry Me baby

I thought we were married grin grin grin cheesy

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by BigBashiru: 2:59pm On Jul 08, 2021
Hassanmaye:

And who told inheritance is the exclusive possession of your children

Then give me a share of ya estate then....il send my account numba. nairalanders, pls come and collect free money.

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Ipisi(m): 3:00pm On Jul 08, 2021
KristaPretty:
Do whatever makes you happy my dear.

After being counselled and talked to but you're still scared of marriage and don't want to to get married? Please don't so. It is not a do or die issue as some people are married but unhappy. Society puts pressure on people too much in Nigeria (which I am sure of).

Due to personal encounters with several women who had severe issues and died, I developed severe Tokophobia (make una check google grin) and no matter the pressure do not see myself wanting to go down that path when married - Gestational surrogacy is the plan and I am hoping and praying for a man who would understand this.

You see this life ehn, na how you do am you go enjoy am. Do only what makes you happy without thinking of these negative shallow minded people. They judge others without hearing their story, they act like saints but are devils inside.

I no kukuma send anybody

you're intelligent .... I like and always want to meet open-minded ladies like you.

God bless

1 Like

Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Slurity(m): 3:08pm On Jul 08, 2021
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.

I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "

Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?

Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok?
Do a personal deliverance on yourself and you will suddenly experience peace of mind in this area. Even though marriage is worth scared of but believe me, the joy and possible fulfilment marriage can give you hugely worth it. God and marry with God's leading.

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