| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by bepositive11: 12:07pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? You are like me. My advice is keep having that fear. It's there to protect you. Until you meet someone who evaporates any doubt you have in your mind, don't give in Also study how to recognise a good partner very well 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by izzou(m): 12:07pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? Are you really sure you'll be happy in your old age without companionship?
You really have to be sure about that 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Ayo2004: 12:08pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
U don't want to get married I don't want to get married Will you be my babymama   |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Nobody: 12:08pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Rozcol:
Marriage is scary these days, take a look at the young men we have around, its easier for the camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is to finding good and worthy husband. Same goes for finding good wives. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Princeton92(m): 12:09pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Will you be my Babymomma |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by specialmati(m): 12:09pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
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| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Jjohnson777: 12:10pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
This is somehow confidential, because majority don't have the best advice to give, while many also have unsolved issues in the marriages.
I prefer we talk on What Sapp or any other platform, if you care. 08110714118 is my number |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Goldengold2(f): 12:11pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? The truth is there is no manual for a successful marriage. You just have to take your mind away from the negative aspect and focus on the positive side. You will definitely have issue with your partner but you just have to try and deliberately work on your spirit of forgiveness. You can go to bed with tears and by following you act as if nothing happened the previous day because if you dwell too much on your partner's error you are giving room for more complications in your home. The foundation of it all is to pray to God to choose for you although because your partner is God's chosen doesn't still make him/her perfect so you both have to make conscious decisions to make your marriage work. God will help us all. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Ellasure: 12:16pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
My dearest, kindly take it easy easy. One step at a time.
Nobody came to earth with wisdom and knowledge and experience we all start small small.
Now, you have a small error that you should correct quickly. You said you don't go out and no friends. I want to assume you are still living with your parents and if otherwise be aware that you have friends already ie those who say good morning good afternoon are your immediate friends and your father and mother are also friends too. Also, those people whom you meet in the church or mosque are your friends too. You have to start talking and visiting them when your time permits. The good Lord did not create you to be alone. Start to greet everyone and attend functions of these your friends. But be a little selective. You don't need to be too friendly with people your instincts warn you against. Your instincts can be trusted, I tell you.
What about your old school mates? Call them, maybe one or more is living in the same town with you. Call them and relate friendly and watchful for any dangers.
Start now and don't delay because you are growing older. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by AntiWailer: 12:16pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Ignore their pressure until you are ready. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by UrbanExotica(f): 12:19pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by MeghaneMorgane(f): 12:22pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Op, you will be fine. Commit all your worries to God. Ask him to take control |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Hassanmaye(m): 12:22pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? You are not alone my brother, me I have concluded I will not marry because truly I don't take betrayal easily and you know how this girls behave now, I don't want to work hard and build empire and one daughter of Jezebel will come and stab me in the black |
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| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by TheGift: 12:24pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Whatever you do, don't do it because of Societal Pressure, focus on becoming the best version of you, and do it for you, when you find someone that believes in you and wants you to succeed at whatever you do, too. chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Nobody: 12:25pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? You are just like me...but some few years back,I started facing my fears and made so many mistakes,made corrections. If you don't try something, you will keep living in fear.That's the case of people brought up with so much strictness and good principles. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by EphraimBoat: 12:25pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? I share the same thoughts really. I find myself being a tolerant person but you can't say the same for your partner. Even if they are, the uncertainty in humans these dags is really high. One can wake up tomorrow and want to end the marriage or whatever it is based on their own reflections. You even see really happy marriages and weddings and all of a sudden they become bitter enemies. I will just have kids and give my heart that peace of mind because I fear betrayal with all my heart! 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Memocc: 12:31pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Me too oh |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by ghettochild(m): 12:31pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? If u dnt wanna marry...no b by force. Just find girl give belle.. why the fuss? |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Nobody: 12:33pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
We plenty wey dey find this advice with you. Lo 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by OdenKelechi(m): 12:34pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
I'm here for the advises. Maybe i'll learn a thing or two cos asides poverty, only marriage scares me more. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by fidel2(m): 12:36pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Oboy fear o.......as for me celibacy till infinity. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by SpruceMediaNG: 12:39pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
arcahmad:
finally l got answer and advise to a problem l am facing for long time, kudos sir You're welcome my brother 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by hegelian: 12:41pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? You just described me aside the anger and temper issue.. I think the problem with most of us that grew up in total, obidience and submission is that we have grown to be independent and enjoying our personal companionship when mostly we don't av anyone to comfort us and give us strength in time of despair that we dread letting others in albeit unconsciously.. I have been working on myself to give chance but it seems it's never gonna work so I have resulted to just let go and allow time to do its work.. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by BarrElChapo(m): 12:42pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
Honestly if fornication wasn't a sin. I'd not have a relationship talkless of marriage. I'd be having mostly selective lays but you'd come and go.
Been single for so long that my space is everything to me. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by rita25(f): 12:42pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
WORK ON YOURSELF AND BE OPEN AND PRAYERFUL ABOUT RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE AND ABOVE ALL LEARN TO TRUST LESS AND JUST BARE IT AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT ALL WILL BE WELL LAS LAS IN jESUS NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Jeromejnr(m): 12:42pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
benuejosh:
No one can give you the best marriage advice. Even the marriage counselors have one issue or the other with their marriages while some are even divorced. No body is perfect. The best advice I can give you is to pray and ask God for direction and guidance. He should give you someone he has prepared for you even before you came into the world from your mum's womb. We can only advise based on our perceptions, look of things and what we have passed through. We are not from the future, if others are, I am not. My challenge and how I overcame won't be the same as the challenge you will face and the technique you will employ to over come it. Remember, the worst mistake one will make is marrying who wasn't meant for you. So PRAY TO GOD AND SEEK HIS WILL AND DIRECTIONS. Don't take decisions based on what people will say. At the end of it all, it is you and your home. They won't be there for you incase there's turbulence. Best of Luck. Best advice I have seen on marriage on Nairaland. Kudos. |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by afamaustin(m): 12:43pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
U can be scare of marriage if u don't HV good income |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Kokaine(m): 12:44pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? when it comes to marriage and personality matching, I have cone to the conclusion that it is very difficult to meet someone who is 100% you. So just have standards you cannot compromise. Like non cheating partner, prayerful, hardworking, and others you consider premium qualities. If the person ticks the good list even 60%, work on the rest. So don't consider too much how unromantic he is, or so many other unrealistic features that can only make you date many people and waste time. Marriage is all about companionship, sacrifice and if God permits, raising good kids. Let the bigger picture be your goal. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by Kayyus09(m): 12:46pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
chocolateme:
I come from a very strict background.
I grew up in fear, submission and obedience to my parents, elders and relatives. I am well mannered. I have anger and temper issues but it never goes beyond sulking and crying silently to get it off my chest. I find it difficult to let go when aggravated but in trcent times, i have worked on myself so much that i channel my displeasure to free tears flowing down my cheeks after which i let go of everything.
I am always looking for excuses to run away from any form of marriage discussion whenever its comes to that, i don't give room to premarital sex. I don't know how to overcome this. When my potential suitor seems so nice and with good disposition and everything worth craving for , then i ask myself " who are these people that end up enemies suddenly and what on earth can cause someone to become so horrible that a once lovely marriage turns into chaos "
Honestly, i believe that with my tolerance level that i can manage a home and marriage but then,how can you tell that of your potential partner?
Sometimes, i just want to remain like this and grow old and still be very happy but then societal and family pressure to get married and have your own kids keeps getting higher which results to my running away more and more. To make it worse, i don't keep friends.
Who knows how to overcome this and how can it be ok? I can just copy and paste this as story of my lyf 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Scared Of Marriage, Advise Me Please by 8stargeneral: 12:46pm On Jul 08, 2021 |
[quote author=Savedday post=103458128]9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.
In mosdii voice: They are all useless..... All of them