BRATISLAVA:

Wait.

Are you telling the males on the forum something they should take note of?

It was not about money, or because another guy was having you behind his back, or because he was not tall, dark and handsome?

Please continue to educate them that their behavior is what puts off women, not their nonexistent finances.

MufasaLion:


Was he a simp or just dumb or just ready to be laughed at? How could he have had such plan without even dating you? Did he think you were gullible?

Some men can be daft.

Hathor5:


They will reject your proposal even when they clock 99.

Omoluabiii:


you both were good friends,
and when he proposed to you, you reject it, because he has identity issues?
What is the good in him initially, that makes you say, you were good friends?

JIREN01:
Can you kindly clarify on what you mean by identity crisis?

PrimadonnaO:


He must have heard about his friends who went to a babe's village to pay her bride price without informing her.

PrimadonnaO:


Bears his mother's surname.

Tends to get swayed by other people's opinions.


Has a warped sense of what it means to be a man.

MufasaLion:


Maybe he came from a broken home.

PrimadonnaO:


He didn't. His parents were married until death.

Magnoliaa:


Wow. yOu DoN't MeAn ThIs. Kondomatic would disagree o. From a very justified logical stance. Mba. This must be in your imaginations.

Kondomatic:
Nwanyi Oma, what makes you think I would disagree?

PrimadonnaO:


He didn't. His parents were married until death.

baby124:
Reasons why I rejected, Badly behaved in relationship. I never planned to b married to an irresponsible person. Those kind of people, they were just for trips.

Lack of financial discipline

Immaturity, lack of focus and direction in life.

PrimadonnaO:
We weren't dating. We were just good friends, so the planned surprise proposal was shocking

When I got a hint of what was happening, I didn't show up.

When we talked about it later, I still didn't want to. The man had identity crisis, plus a patriarchal disposition I wouldn't be comfortable with in a life-long partner.

JADEK04:
First time I gave a lady a ring in my life,
She rejected it,
And I can never never in my life does that again,
Her reason was that
Is too early for me to do that....that she need a time to think and decide.

lastchild:
am I the only that notice that girls are no longer in nairaland, men always answering questions directed to women

Fejimummy:
One said that I should drop out of uniben in 300 level to attend yabatech because he lives in yaba... Who does that

Romanoff:
Hmmnn.

Might not be a proposal but someone who claimed he wanted a relationship with me cause he wants to marry me said something when we were getting to know each other. This is what he said that made me turn back and face my father's house, "I am sorry to say this, but a man is not complete without a male child".

Since I knew that I didn't have a store house for male children nor did I have a guarantee of bearing him a son, I told him I wasn't interested in the relationship or marriage.

To my surprise, dude insisted on knowing why I turned him down after some months, I told him his comment about male children put me off. He tried to convince me he didn't mean it the way I saw it but I just wasn't convinced.

Magnoliaa:


She must be lying, right? About men sending their wives away for giving birth to female children and not one male child? I mean. It mustn't mean the male child is more appreciated na? Nope. It can't be.

amrichy:

I think what the guy said is actually the bitter truth about how most African men (and women) see male children. Most likely, your current husband has the same opinion too, but that doesn't necessarily mean he will throw you out if "you don't" give him a male child or look elsewhere to find it. He will only do that if he is naturally irresponsible.
In my opinion, it was immature of you to have done what you did because of that singular reason. What he said should have generated an interesting discussion between you two (if you were mature). For instance, you could have asked him what he would do in case you guys don't have a male child (you might have then made your decision based on the answer he gives).
For some reason, the world system is highly patriarchal (and this is even more obvious in the Bible and the Quran which billions of people respect so much), so no one should really be blamed for valuing a male child (more than a female child) –we can't really help it.

larryking540:

and u couldn't discipline him financially

IamKizzbrown10:
A lot of men make that mistake prosposing to a girl, wen u knw u dnt have wat it takes to have her as a wife, maybe u only have wat she consider as bf and gf stuff and nt marriage. No reasonable lady will reject a man she knws he is capable of taking care of her and her unborn kid or call it a responsible man. But if a lady reject such man just knw that her villiage people ar on her matter. Thank u

baby124:

You can only help who wants to be helped. Some people are very arrogant about their bad traits. I am not his mother to sit down there and be begging him to change. We move. Every adult should be self aware and do a self audit.

Omoluabiii:


you both were good friends,
and when he proposed to you, you reject it, because he has identity issues?
What is the good in him initially, that makes you say, you were good friends?

larryking540:

and did u correct him openly,I mean I have met ladies,who can't correct instead they just walk away ,and if asked why ,they claim the guy is arrogant or doesn't listen,u and I Kno most ladies lack the ability to hold a Convo Instead prefer u read their brain or imagination

Magnoliaa:

And he bears he mom's surname? I wonder why...

Romanoff:


There was no point. Not all women are lucky to here that kind of a strong opinion before marrying a man.
I count myself lucky that I knew early and had the choice to walk away.

My husband doesn't think that way. It's one of the many things I adore about him.

Thank you sir.

TWLifestyle:
how is someone eelse's divorce your problem though ?

Esychem:
I paid a visit for the first time. He came to pick me up, the car was extremely dirty and so messed. I got to his house, mosquito welcomed me in the parlour in their groups. I enter kitchen to fix something for my self... A big mess. I managed to clean the kitchen. Later I enter the bedroom and saw headquarters of cobweb. He drove out and came back later with mosquito fleet. I was encouraged to stay the night. OMO I did vigil that night killing varieties of mosquitoes, I even started crying, uncle no even send me o.
In the morning, I asked him to assist me so we clean the house, he was busy pressing phone. I kept calm. I later asked him why he don't clean, he said " he grew up with big sisters and house help, therefore he don't like cleaning, ordinary plate he ate with, he can't even wash it. He was not even encouraging me or motivating.
I left the house o politely and each time he calls to ask about the marriage stuff, I told him we can't be together. He said he will change but I cannot kill myself, treating malaria is expensive.

PrimadonnaO:


Made my imaginations run wild, too. Because the reasons he gave weren't sound enough. The sort of a thing a sulking child would do.

Kondomatic:
I don't understand you to be honest