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Financially Abusive Men? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Do I Seek Dominating & Abusive Men? Is It Normal? / Single Ladies Who Stay In An Abusive Relationship / Should Our Boyfriends Assist Us Financially Without Us Having To Ask? (2) (3) (4)

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Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 2:29am On May 22, 2011
Ladies, would you put up with a financially abusive relationship? If your husband would tell you to quit your job so you can stay home and take care of the kids, would you do it? What if he would allow you to work but wants to control your pay checks and does not give you the opportunity to make any financial decisions, would you be fine with this encirclement?

Men too can have the views on this subject.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Topsoldier: 2:39am On May 22, 2011
Its an insult for my wife to work. Am I less of a man? any wife should stay home why work when her

hubby wil.
angry sad
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 2:41am On May 22, 2011
*shakes head in pity*
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 2:43am On May 22, 2011
Nothing absolutely wrong with a woman working. It's perhaps the best option. Women should have as many opportunities/chances as men here; and a man'll be doing his wife/girl the greatest evil if he simply locks her up at home with the tv
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 2:44am On May 22, 2011
As soon as she has kids sxb she should stay at home laakiin if there are no kids or they are act school part-time job waa fiicaan.

Actually waa appreciated I don't want her sponging off me you get me bro.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 2:49am On May 22, 2011
sauer:

Nothing absolutely wrong with a woman working. It's perhaps the best option. Women should have as many opportunities/chances as men here; and a man'll be doing his wife/girl the greatest evil if he simply locks her up at home with the tv

Great points. But you know they are traditional women who prefer not to work. They don't believe in the ideology of 50/50 in a relationship. What do you say about that?

Somaliland:

As soon as she has kids sxb she should stay at home laakiin if there are no kids or they are act school part-time job waa fiicaan.

Actually waa appreciated I don't want her sponging off me you get me bro.

Juggling work, the house chores, satisfying her man's need, kids and school! How do women do that? shocked
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 2:52am On May 22, 2011
Gabdaha soomalida waa special sxb thats why we ciyaar with ajnabi laakiin we guurso naag soomali grin

Haa they are special hooyo did it, habayaro did it all dumarka they do that sxb. We gotta give them mad props your right bro.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 2:55am On May 22, 2011
They ought to be given credits, women are strong species. I don't we men would be able to do that. Sxb, xabadko yar labax, kadadici inadh jaceshahay, biloyin kabaxdi kuqabo, is kulul ugogudadi. Wey iney ogadan shaxari inad tahay.  grin
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 2:57am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

They ought to be given credits, women are strong species. I don't we men would be able to do that. Sxb, xabadko yar labax, kadadici inadh jaceshahay, biloyin kabaxdi kuqabo, is kulul ugogudadi. Wey iney ogadan shaxari inad tahay.  grin

Haye sxb grin grin
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 2:59am On May 22, 2011
Mid marabta inan faraha kugu fiqo? cheesy
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:02am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

Great points. But you know they are traditional women who prefer not to work. They don't believe in the ideology of 50/50 in a relationship. What do you say about that?

Juggling work, the house chores, satisfying her man's need, kids and school! How do women do that? shocked
o'cos there are such women. Though have got no place for them, I think it's ultimately left to the woman to decide. The man's got to give her freedom to do what she wants to do, and then kinda blend that with the family. In my world, men and women are really equal, forget child bearing(rearing). . . undecided
Second thing, u berra speak in english in here!
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:07am On May 22, 2011
sauer:

o'cos there are such women. Though have got no place for them, I think it's ultimately left to the woman to decide. The man's got to give her freedom to do what she wants to do, and then kinda blend that with the family. In my world, men and women are really equal, forget child bearing(rearing). . . undecided
Second thing, u berra speak in english in here!

You're confusin yourself, you oppose stay home women yet you are telling us it is a woman's choice to decide that for herself. But you are already against her wishes? Am I missing something. Women & men are diff' species, they equality lays in the nature bedder, put that in mind kid.

You are the 2nd person to tell me what to do, how does it bother you if I chat in a language that I understand for a hour? Something tells me that you are not n8ja. After reading your post about "Dem somali girls" it even make me more convince that you are a foreigner who is acting like a naija
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 3:08am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

Mid marabta inan faraha kugu fiqo? cheesy

Mid? Labo waan doneya sxb  grin
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:12am On May 22, 2011
OK, the 1st one is midan ceynaye, mid labadnah wa kushegi dona. Hit the high notes and score sxbb when you get in the ciyar. grin
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 3:15am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

OK, the 1st one is midan ceynaye, mid labadnah wa kushegi dona. Hit the high notes and score sxbb when you get in the ciyar. grin

Haha. Waa sidaas sxb you gotta play the game to win grin
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by BABE3: 3:17am On May 22, 2011
Well, if he tells me to stop working and be a stay-home mum. Fine!  cheesy No problem! cheesy Aren't we all working to get paid (most of us). Free kudi.

But on the following conditions:

1) I will be getting the same amount of money (like if I was working) from him or even more.

2) He would pay back my parents all the money they've spent on my education starting from Nursery school till Medical school, and extra money for all the stress.

If the two conditions are met, then no problem. We have a deal.  smiley
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:18am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

You confused you, you oppose stay home women yet you are tellingus it is a woman's choice to decide that for herself. But you are already against her wishes? Am I missing something. Women & men are diff' species, they equality lays in the nature bedder, put that in mind kid.

You are the 2nd person to tell me what to do, how does it bother you if I chat in a language that I understand for a hour? Something tells me that you are not n8ja. After reading your post about "Dem somali girls" it even make me more convince that you are a foreigner who is acting like a naija


sauer:

o'cos there are such women. Though have got no place for them, I think it's ultimately left to the woman to decide. The man's got to give her freedom to do what she wants to do, and then kinda blend that with the family. In my world, men and women are really equal, forget child bearing(rearing). . . undecided
Second thing, u berra speak in english in here!

Apparently u didn't read my post. U didnt read that 'I have got no place for women who wont work'? Well, boy, u dont know me, so quit the profiling.
My point is, it's the woman's decision. How that goes with her guy is the guy's biz?

Second thing again, people are supposed to understand one another here, hence english as the medium of communication. U really do need to get yourself sorted. . .
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 3:20am On May 22, 2011
BABE!:

Well, if he tells me to stop working and be a stay-home mum. Fine!  cheesy No problem! cheesy Aren't we all working to get paid (most of us). Free kudi.

But on the following conditions:

1) I will be getting the same amount of money (like if I was working) from him or even more.

2) He would pay back my parents all the money they've spent on my education starting from Nursery school till Medical school, and extra money for all the stress.

If the two conditions are met, then no problem. We have a deal.  smiley


Hopefully all woman don't think like that or I think my wallet just broke lipsrsealed
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:25am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:

They ought to be given credits, women are strong species. I don't we men would be able to do that.

Advocator, allow me to say that you are wrong. I know men who can do that. Tons of men can do it. As intelligent as you are, I was completely surprised that you would resort to a generalization without facts to back it up. And what language is that?
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:27am On May 22, 2011
Somaliland:

Haha. Waa sidaas sxb you gotta play the game to win  grin

Arintu wa sidas.  cheesy


sauer:

Apparently u didn't read my post. U didnt read that 'I have got no place for women who wont work'? Well, boy, u dont know me, so quit the profiling.
My point is, it's the woman's decision. How that goes with her guy is the guy's biz?

Second thing again, people are supposed to understand one another here, hence english as the medium of communication. U really do need to get yourself sorted. . .


You don't have to understand everything I jot. I am not your slanderer, and I should not refrain from something just because you don't understand. Comprehendo?

BABE!:

Well, if he tells me to stop working and be a stay-home mum. Fine!  cheesy No problem! cheesy Aren't we all working to get paid (most of us). Free kudi.

But on the following conditions:

1) I will be getting the same amount of money (like if I was working) from him or even more.

2) He would pay back my parents all the money they've spent on my education starting from Nursery school till Medical school, and extra money for all the stress.

If  the two conditions are met, then no problem. We have a deal.  smiley

There is a dilemma, both those sides will not work for any man.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by BABE3: 3:30am On May 22, 2011
Somaliland:

Hopefully all woman don't think like that or I think my wallet just broke lipsrsealed

Haha--- wasn't he the one that said I should quit my career.? Well, if he insists, those conditions have to be met.

@Advo---If it's not gonna work then, I ain't quiting sh1t.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Somaliland(m): 3:31am On May 22, 2011
BABE!:

Haha--- wasn't he the one that said I should quit my career. Well, if he insists, those conditions have to be met.

But if you work 9-5 we will come home the same time and no hot meals and the house would be a mess. Plus you better not be competing with my paycheck wink
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:32am On May 22, 2011
omo_to_dun:

Advocator, allow me to say that you are wrong. I know men who can do that. Tons of men can do it. As intelligent as you are, I was completely surprised that you would resort to a generalization without facts to back it up. And what language is that?

Women give birth, women do more chores than men. They are so many lines I wanna touch to make you understand but I'm kinda of tired today. My point is the society laid this roles for women, it is their responsibility; so we as men should at least give them a credit, don't you think? Take this scenario, your mother gave birth to you, stayed up all night when your sick, carried you for 9 months in her womb, push you with pain into this world, breastfed you, cleaned you. All these work load can be done but men but it is very rare cases. i am not generalization, I just want credit to be place where it is due.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:36am On May 22, 2011
BABE!:

Haha--- wasn't he the one that said I should quit my career.? Well, if he insists, those conditions have to be met.

@Advo---If it's not gonna work then, I ain't quiting sh1t.

I MAY do # 1 if she obeys me, take care of me and my kids, make my house a peaceful place to be, beautify herself for me, sex me anything that I want, give birth for me my own soccer team, do anything that a good wife can do.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:43am On May 22, 2011
^delusion, i guess
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by BABE3: 3:46am On May 22, 2011
Advo:
You may? **scoffs** and you want her to quit her "life".

LOL@ Gives birth to your own soccer team. You're a joke.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:50am On May 22, 2011
Advocator:
Ladies, would you put up with a financially abusive relationship? If your husband would tell you to quit your job so you can stay home and take care of the kids, would you do it? What if he would allow you to work but wants to control your pay checks and does not give you the opportunity to make any financial decisions, would you be fine with this encirclement?

Men too can have the views on this subject.

It's my dream to financially assist any long-term boyfriend/husband of mine while raising children. I know a lot of men that don't like women who only stay at home and tend to the home and children. So, I would find it weird initially. If he can give me good reason and truly has his heart set on mind me doing it, then sure, I'm fine with it, under the condition that his job pays him enough to maintain the family and home financially. I don't think I'd be locked up with the tv lol. Even now, when I have days where I'm not working or I'm home alone, I don't spend that time watching tv. I'm usually cleaning, running errands, getting things ready for dinner, walking the dog, reading, on NL. . . I'd be fine.

If I'm working, he has no right to control my paychecks. I make the money, so any check that has my name on it, I can decide where it goes, or at least have some input in financial decision. He can't control me in that sense though. Absolutely not. I'm working for the family, not just him.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:53am On May 22, 2011
BABE!:

Advo:
You may? **scoffs** and you want her to quit her "life".

LOL@ Gives birth to your own soccer team. You're a joke.


I have no problem in letting my wife work. I was just in the process of choosing your two options. Personally If my wife wants to work, cool. If not, it's cool as well. I could care less either way, and I wouldn't force her to do either one. All I know, is I'm saving up for that Skyline GT . smiley
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 3:56am On May 22, 2011
ogugua88:

It's my dream to financially assist any long-term boyfriend/husband of mine while raising children. I know a lot of men that don't like women who only stay at home and tend to the home and children. So, I would find it weird initially. If he can give me good reason and doesn't mind me doing it, then sure, I'm fine with it, under the condition that his job pays him enough to maintain the family and home financially. I don't think I'd be locked up with the tv lol. Even now, when I have days where I'm not working or I'm home alone, I don't spend that time watching tv. I'm usually cleaning, running errands, getting things ready for dinner, walking the dog, reading, on NL. . . I'd be fine.

If I'm working, he has no right to control my paychecks. I make the money, so any check that has my name on it, I can decide where it goes, or at least have some input in financial decision. He can't control me in that sense though. Absolutely not. I'm working for the family, not just him.

Great points.

A lot of girls will stay home if he is paying the s-h-i-t and everything. Why not? They can go shopping and would style his cash like there's no tomorrow.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Nobody: 3:59am On May 22, 2011
Lol, yeah, a lot would. Not me though. Spending money that's not mine leaves me with the worst guilt trip. I'd prefer it if I could work. If I won't be working, I'd only ask that he leaves me a certain allotment of money for grocery shopping and gas at most. I'll only complain when my hard, diligent work goes unnoticed cool
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Advocator: 4:04am On May 22, 2011
ogugua88:

Lol, yeah, a lot would. Not me though. Spending money that's not mine leaves me with the worst guilt trip. I'd prefer it if I could work. If I won't be working, I'd only ask that he leaves me a certain allotment of money for grocery shopping and gas at most. I'll only complain when my hard, diligent work goes unnoticed cool
If all women we like you, the world would have been a better place. wink Most women of this era are gold diggers. Anyways men should shower their women with money and gold without her asking, if she ask then it is a sign that you are a stingy husband. A miser to be worse.
Re: Financially Abusive Men? by Topsoldier: 4:16am On May 22, 2011
women should not work, they should be wives nd stay home.

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