DaddyRochie1642:
From your story up there, you said that you had already paid for the Cow and Wine.

Since she has called off the Wedding, i strongly suggest you go back there and demand for your hard earned money you used to pay for the Cow and Wine...Collect your money back with a Full Chest and don't look back.


When that girl of yours is serious and ready and her eyes must have cleared then you guys can talk, on no account should you ask what you've done since according to you, you have searched your heart and you can't seem to find anything you have done for her to be acting this way.


From here, I can Smell that you and that your girlfriend haven't established Clear Boundaries between the two of you, Establishing Very Clear Boundaries in Relationships is one of the Most Important things ever.

If that girl of yours finally decides to come back, better set and establish clear Boundaries between the two of you.... I'm telling you this for your own good.


The Current Nigeria Economy is very harsh and it Spares no one, for marriage to work nowadays, it takes two Willing partners to make it work, if that girlfriend of yours doesn't contribute anything significant to your Life and you have sincerely searched your heart and you can't seem to find anything you have done wrong to her, give her a Time frame to tell you what and how you have offended her and if she doesn't respond during that timeframe you have given her to tell you how you offended her, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

You're a wise man

Mcslize:


That belief that there is one right person out there for one is a mere deception of the mind. There is never any right person out there for anyone. Why? Imperfection will always prevail among humanity.

in the process of looking for the right one, which doesn't exist anywhere, one might end up jumping from one partner to another cuz at the end, there is never any right one out there for anyone due to human's imperfection. The earlier people know this the better for them.

If you don't possess the mindset of ironing things out with your partner, you won't find fulfilment in relationships.

There is no perfect relationship out there. You just need to take it by yourself to make things work to avoid jumping from one man to another searching for Mr right that doesn't exist.

There are flaws I can't overlook and I'm not going to pretend about it, a person that cheats in a relationship will also cheat in marriage so what I won't take in marriage I won't pretend about it now,I'm no Annie Idibia.

DropsMic:



A richer guy is ontop her matter. Just move on

It might not a be so lol... it might just be she loves the other person more.

Iyaebe:
kiki dumped? someone that has refused to let go and move on for over two years now. No man has ever dumped me na me dy do the dumping,so you now concluded because you deduced I wasn't giving him my body so that you will have 'body count' to slut shame me with kikikiki the joke is on you.The SIMP word are mostly used by redpillers but let me shock you that there are ladies that the redpill nuggets or whatever can't work on, if a man dares or try to use the redpill on me I bet you he'll be bruised because kolework.In the game of emotions large percentage of men have never won.

From the look of things, you cannot keep a family. Not with this your mindset. Sorry to say though. You can't keep a man and run a family if you go on with this mindset of always seeing your partner as a competitor.

If you don't want to get divorced after finally getting married, you have to drop this your mindset. If not, I doubt if you can really run a successful home with any man.

LOGICALKEN:
So I met this lady in 2019 through a mutual friend, after few weeks of getting to meet her we started dating. She is 29 and I’m 31. She’s based in Benin where she works and I am in Lagos.

The agreement was that after our wedding she will join me in Lagos which she agreed. Our relationship has been going on smoothly which made me do the introduction January this year and I’ve told her the wedding will be by January next year, which she knows I am making adequate preparation to that effect. I even had to get involved in a monthly contribution of 30k which is done in her workplace, I told her she should collect 2 slots so we can save enough for the wedding. She has never made any financial request that i did not grant.

Just two months ago she started acting all weird, I have asked her what the problem was and she would say nothing. She stopped picking my calls and told her parents I offended her, I called her to know what my offense was and she said I should forget. God knows I have never deliberately done anything to upset her. Just yesterday morning she called to tell me she is done with the relationship which left me so confused and devastated. I have already paid for cow and all the wines we will use for the wedding and now she has called it off.

Please nairalanders what could possibly be my offense? I have thoroughly searched my heart and I can’t seem to remember when I offended her.

Take heart dear. I know it's hard and you feel sad but cheer up man. God has seen your heart and he's shielding you from future problems

Mcslize:


From the look of things, you cannot keep a family. Not with this your mindset. Sorry to say though. You can't keep a man and run a family if you go on with this mindset of always seeing your partner as a competitor.

If you don't want to get divorced after finally getting married, you have to drop this your mindset. If not, I doubt if you can really run a successful home with any man.

The truth is when and if I eventually get married it's going to be a ride or die for me so how I handle relationship now is going to be totally different from how I'll handle marriage. The only thing that can make me walk out of marriage is if my husband produce kid/kids outside our marriage and it is what I will tell him before I walk down the aisle with him,this is to put him in check and also to use protection if he decides to be irresponsible.

2sexycom:
It might not a be so lol... it might just be she loves the other person more.

Nigerian girls are not wired that way

LOGICALKEN:


I am suppose to collect the contribution by November. Honestly that’s the least of my worries now. I never thought I will experience this

E be like make you wait till when it is time for this month's contribution and don't send shishi, if she lacks shame she'll call to ask why you haven't sent the contribution? Then you ask her to justify why you have to continue that journey (contribution in leu of wedding)?
Let me advise you: before, during and after wedding and in marriage itself, USE YOUR HEAD and not rely on your heart most times. It prevents a lot of pains.

SmellySperm:
Her ex guy whom she loved but left probably coz he was broke have resurface. He's probably banging her already via lamba.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

You said you've paid for a cow already bah? Oya bring the cow come mk Nairalanders flex mbok

Hahhahah that gender!!

You did nothing, Just move on, women can be deceive easily, she don find another love

Iyaebe:
There are flaws I can't overlook and I'm not going to pretend about it, a person that cheats in a relationship will also cheat in marriage so what I won't take in marriage I won't pretend about it now,I'm no Annie Idibia.

I followed you to know when you'll make your next post.

About everything, I mean everything I said. I don't have anything against you though. I didn't mean to hurt you even if it seems like you're not hurt. I'm happy you dropped your profile pic too even if you didn't drop it cos of all I said about it. In the midst of everything I see bravery. We can all be better in our own little way. I don't hate you but I won't take your opinion about men lightly even if it's yours. Take care and good night.

Polyol:


I followed you to know when you'll make your next post.

About everything, I mean everything I said. I don't have anything against you though. I didn't mean to hurt you even if it seems like you're not hurt. I'm happy you dropped your profile pic too even if you didn't drop it cos of all I said about it. In the midst of everything I see bravery. We can all be better in our own little way. I don't hate you but I won't take your opinion about men lightly even if it's yours. Take care and good night.

Good night sir lol

Polyol:


I've not even started slut shaming you yet. The sluts I know lie about their body counts and they jump from one man to another, that's a clear definition of who you are right?

I'm no redpill and I'm definitely not simp as well. I'm too enough for myself that the only provision I can get from you is sex, infact you can't provide anything better. What do I expect from a woman who's so comfortable jumping from one man to another and claims she isn't a slut?

She said 2years, oshey iron lady . Your game strategy will pay off someday.

And again I can't fvck with who fancy BBN, all these are red flags. Why bring BBN into this Convo?

Then keep your eyes on girls that have sex to provide. There's everything right for a girl who desire to keep herself till marriage. That's respecting God and His word.

humility33:

The girl na smallie
U go surprise say she dey early 20s

Exactly. From her post, she is not more than 23yrs.

Call her parents and tell them. If the girl still insist in calling relationship off.
Just try and get your money back and move on. They said broken relationship is better than divorce.
I don't even know what is wrong with girls of nowadays.

Omo ale ti ko ajo alajo.

DropsMic:


Nigerian girls are not wired that way

They are in a way. I have also noticed that being too easy with these girls gives them too much pride. For her to play this game, it means the guy has been the one doing all the investments in the relationship. If you look at his reply he said there is nothing she has ever asked that he didn't give...

MY QUESTION IS WHY? Why does that have to be the case? You see, doing everything for a woman does not make you look good in her eyes. She is more likely to diminish you. You will be shocked that the guy who has made her call this off does not give her as much as the OP.

What does that tell you? NEVER FAIL TO ASSERT YOUR MASCULINITY when dealing with women. Always trying to please them hardly yield desired results.

Sanchez01:

2 slots MONTHLY, that's N60,000 monthly all for a day's celebration? And somehow, that is not enough to you?

Some of you are not even fit to be baby mamas. More like suitable for Yahoo boys to use for rituals.

When I saw her comment, I wanted to reply her but just felt that she doesn’t deserve my response. Most Nigerian ladies view relationship/marital journey as poverty alleviation scheme, the reason they always search for the highest bidder. Poverty has eaten deep into their senses.

Iyaebe:
You just want to shift the blame on me because I didn't let a man manipulate and drag me into an emotional wreck and torture. Yes I'll keep taking my leave till I find the right person but I will never tolerate some bullshits all in the name of love.If two people decide to be together then let them be true to themselves, the foundation of every relationship matters a lot and there are flaws you shouldn't overlook so as to avoid stories that touch in marriage. I don't jump from one to the other but my dumping game is top notch when necessary, nothing like a second chance in my world.

Are you sure Don't you allow your ex taste water

greggng:



You want us to believe your woman left without telling you exactly what you did? If you are living us to figure out the problem, then we might not cos we are not going to speculate . However , if you search your heart and discover that you didn't do anything to deserve this treatment ...pls go for thanks given and move on with your life . Let me give yu example from my experience from car selling ...which I do fir a living . I do have a simple prayer every morning before I go out for business ...and it goes like this GOD PLS SCATTER ANY BUSINESS THAT WILL LEAD ME TO TROUBLE...This prayer has been helping me. Sometimes a I will see a car I wanna Introduce to a client but the moment I get their the seller will say he is not selling again. I will ask sir, what is the problem ...he will say must go I don't want you near my car. The moment I left , something will speak to me and ask me to go In peace cos that car will end up putting me in trouble if I buy it. Sometimes some of my friends will go and buy same car ...the next thing you will hear is that they are in big problem . The owner of the car was robbed and they ended up buying a stolen car. Sometimes , the most have sold it long time ago but the law has got a way to catch up with them ..when tgey are jubiliating over how much gain they made ...I always thank God for removing such opportunity from me ...They end up paying more than they gained . Narrow my experience to your experience now ...That lady is a bad or stolen car ....while God is saving you from buying a stolen car. Go and thank God . Sell back the cow and drinks ...He will give you the woman of your dream

Hello how are you, how can we link up I have some cars I want to sell, if you are in Lagos let us relate. Maybe you should send me your WhatsApp number.

Don't spend your hard earned money on women again. She knew ab initio that she would later dump you. She was pretending to love you because she was getting money from you.

LOGICALKEN:
So I met this lady in 2019 through a mutual friend, after few weeks of getting to meet her we started dating. She is 29 and I’m 31. She’s based in Benin where she works and I am in Lagos.

The agreement was that after our wedding she will join me in Lagos which she agreed. Our relationship has been going on smoothly which made me do the introduction January this year and I’ve told her the wedding will be by January next year, which she knows I am making adequate preparation to that effect. I even had to get involved in a monthly contribution of 30k which is done in her workplace, I told her she should collect 2 slots so we can save enough for the wedding. She has never made any financial request that i did not grant.

Just two months ago she started acting all weird, I have asked her what the problem was and she would say nothing. She stopped picking my calls and told her parents I offended her, I called her to know what my offense was and she said I should forget. God knows I have never deliberately done anything to upset her. Just yesterday morning she called to tell me she is done with the relationship which left me so confused and devastated. I have already paid for cow and all the wines we will use for the wedding and now she has called it off.

Please nairalanders what could possibly be my offense? I have thoroughly searched my heart and I can’t seem to remember when I offended her.

Are you sure Boma is not with her? Better count your loses and move on

Be thankful to God and move on with your life because she is not meant for you and please don't ever accept her back or else Churchill's ex case will be a child play if you insist marrying her. NOTE: breaking in relationship is better than divorce. Congratulations

Demigod22:
The more I hear about things like this the more I lose hope in meaningful relationship. OP I feel your pain, especially the money you paid for cow and wine. Girls are slay Taliban, they are terrorizing nice guys like op. Rest in peace for the feelings I ever had for girls.

Lol

tommy589:


How do you know who the wrong or right person is? I know from the onset of a relationship if a woman is playing me.How sure are you the man you finally chose won't change when married.

Sometimes people change after marriage.Like 10yrs now I have been complaining to my wife (last) of many years that she is not giving me enough sex,she did not change and I started cheating. She was hospitalised when she found out last year. She realised her mistake and I apologised too,we are still in love

HahhahahhahHha

Its not always about money most times.

nijaomegacode:

It's not you bro. IT'S NOT YOU! It's her.
Find a young virgin girl and marry.
From now on, avoid any lady above 20 years if you want to have a good home. Many would call you names but you mind and sanity would be intact.
No this and know peace!

Above 20

Bros no worry, maybe God is trying to remove problem for u. Anyways am single and am searching. Me too Dey do my own contributions so..... let’s join force together mbok�����[color=#000099][/color]

SmellySperm:
Her ex guy whom she loved but left probably coz he was broke have resurface. He's probably banging her already via lamba.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

You said you've paid for a cow already bah? Oya bring the cow come mk Nairalanders flex mbok

More like suya night with nairalanders..

Is she an introvert? Cos a typical introvert will rather bottle up emotions and sulk rather than confront or discuss it.
If ur conscience is truly pure and you have nothing to hide or unresolved differences, then it is possible she just grew cold feet and need assurances (the happenings lately aren't exactly encouraging )
Lastly it might be either two things: the devil trying to ruin a beautiful beginning or God trying to save you from harm. Either way pray harder and try communicating with her. Good luck

OP So you left all the gorgeous, single & hard working ladies in Lagos in search of something that is not missing.

Any relationship that starts off on a long distance basis is programmed to fall apart faster than it started.