NPTJ
To add to what I said earlier, find an NGO that handles violence against women. The purpose is for them to keep her in a safe house where the "husband" can't find her.

The NGO may assist you in locating your sister and preparing her mind for the need to escape and that her safety is assured.

I see the so-called husband going to prison as he will threaten violence against her and you guys. This is a big issue.

Contact Mirabel. They may be able to assist.

You can't find money to go and see your sister to make sure that she's OK.

Then what did your father do for 13 years, you failed your daughter the moment you couldn't help her with schooling. I don't see the point of telling her to write JAMB and all that when you know your capabilities. After she did all that, y'all failed her and she was left to the streets. Look at you claiming she wasn't ambitious. She wasn't even staying with you guys when she got pregnant, all of una Bleep up badly.

You were in the university for 4 years yet couldn't find 10k to PH just to see your elder sister. Even if the husband is a bastard, can't you look for your sister.

All I see here is your blaming the said husband when it's a collection of mistakes from every single individual in her life. You failed her massively, every single member of your family. I don't see why she should leave the father of her family to come back to your family. There's nothing there for her.


Life hard sha.

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

There is no need to mend words here. Your parents were wrong from the onset. They failed your sister and need to apologize to her.
1. Your father knows he is not financially stable to fund her education yet he deprive her from working to raise the needed money to sponsor her education.
2. She finally gained admission in a prestigious university to study law after a year of trial and lost the admission because your parents can't pay acceptance fee and school fee.
3. She was only allowed to work after her educational dream had been destroyed.
4. She was physically abused by your parents because she was pregnant. That was the time she needs more love.
5. Your father went ahead to beat the hell out of the love of her life and even arrested him.

Conclusion.
Your father parenting method applied on her was too poor.
You guys should go and apologize to her because your father killed her dream

A family that can't find money to go and see their sister/daughter to be certain she is fine, to know if she is alive, to know if she is sane, but is more interested in her being present mots definitely to pick up some responsibilities or to help look after the aged parents who killed her dreams and still didnt show her love when she needed it the most says a lot to buttress my point. Even the man knows she has un serious relatives so he can take them for granted. The annoying part is the dad is still ashamed of her and is yet to come to terms with reality as he continues to lie about the well being of his daughter. How will he make heaven sef If he dies and does he think his village people don't already know something is up as to no bride price collected yet she is married.?

Spanishmilf:
Financial gains??
Did you skip the part where he said the man was deported with nothing in his hand?
They don’t even know the sis condition atm
Make una dey calm down read before dropping opinion shaa

NPTJ:
Exactly what my mum said.. She was just his sacrificial lamb. Funny enough we ain't from the east. We are Yoruba

This is the crux of the matter
Cultural variations is what is playing out here.


At this point visiting your sister may not yield any immediate positive results, you need to consult elders in his village first.

Franklyspeakin:
My own sef is the angle u are coming from. Are u sure its not financial gains you people want from your sis?? Because a right thinking family would have been more interested in knowing if she is fine... That is pay a visit to see her, talk to ker and know if she is OK then probably remind her that her parents are worried about her. Which one is her presence is greatly needed?? Do you even know if your sister is still alive?? When last did you see her with your eyes?? See talk ooo. Go and check on her abeg. It could even be shame thats stopping her from coming back. Shame of you guys laughing at her. Go and show love to her before you start giving her responsibilities.




A family that can't find money to go and see their sister/daughter to be certain she is fine, to know if she is alive, to know if she is sane, but is more interested in her being present most definitely to pick up some responsibilities or to help look after the aged parents who killed her dreams and still didnt show her love when she needed it the most says a lot to buttress my point. See because a man is a deportee dosent mean he wont be able to stand on his feet and cater for his family. afterall they have been surviving all this years. Even the man knows he has un serious inlaws so he can take them for granted. Imagine if the girls family where more involved and concerned with their number one priority being the well being of their daughter, they won't have been complaining of losing their daughter.The annoying part is the dad is still ashamed of her and is yet to come to terms with reality as he continues to lie about the well being of his daughter. How will he make heaven sef If he dies and does he think his village people don't already know something is up as to no bride price collected yet she is married.?
My brother Hustle oooo make them no use you or your family do yeye

U wil not lack good tins sir.

I am just imagining how the family must have insulted the hell out of that poor girl just cus he married and late forty deportee.

Now their instinct is telling them that the girl is doing well so they want her to shoulder some responsibilities, but as the girl deserted them dey resorted to playing victims card.

PeaceJoyLove:


Shameless goat.

So, igs only your sister who should carry the responsibility og your parents. You are ma.d. You arent thinking of getting job to help and make yourself useful to your parents, but it's your sister who must do it.

I am sure you all used her like the rag when you were small. The girl ran away from you all. She cooked and did everything all cooked, wash plates, clean the house for you lazy goats who called yourselves boys.

Your papa has boys na which is what he is proud of. Go and take care of your father and mother. Shameless goat. Just imagine the boldness to say her sister is the one who should take care of them. So, you are not to. The girl is meant to do the housekeeping till she dies while you go out and live a fulfilled life. On top expecting to use her bride price. You are an idioota. Confirmed

You really vexed I understand - uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Story of an average Nigerian girl! The four guys in the family should pull their weight together and leave the girl for now.

Travel there as a concerned caring brother only to check on her well-being not to ask her to come play the usual 1st "first born role"

madjune:
Sad. I can tell your family is Ibo. I can relate on that.
The man is supposed to perform the necessary marriage rites before taking your sister.
This is particularly sensitive, with your sister's place as the only girl and first daughter of her mother.
She's supposed to be close to your mother into her grey years, or else your mom will be heartbroken sooner or later.

Now, the man isn't diabolical.
I'm sure he's irresponsible. A well bred man would be in touch with your family, broke or not.
He will face his karma soon.
He only took advantage of your sister's economic status. She's poor.
Equally, he's taking advantage of your family, knowing you guys are poor and can't do nothing.
He won't try this rubbish with a well to do family. No.

The way forward is, your father and his kins should trace this man's roots. Go there and summon his village elders to a meeting. Table the matter.

I'm sure his village elders would intervene.

The OP has said somewhere in the thread that they are Yoruba.

The so called non dowry paying husband is wicked , he can't try what he did with an Igbo woman without consequence, someome would have traced his family compound and summoned him he knows they are Yoruba( (they don't even know his kinsman, his village and most likely his family) and poor so they can't do much, more reason why he moved them out of Lagos to portharcourt.

They can't trace his people to the village, nobody to even report him to if they want to, I am certain if that man was Yoruba like them they would have been able to trace his village/family at least

The man is a wicked man, he knows exactly what he is doing, more reason why he didn't get her a phone, do I blame him no, I blame the lady who got pregnant for a man and was not smart enough to at least allow him come with his people to do something on her head before taking her away, to make it worse its someone not from their tribe so her family knows no one they can relate with from his side.

If they both decide to vanish to the thin air today, there is no way the family can trace him.

ziondaughter247:
So you mean your parents and 4 able bodied men could not help your sister out in paying her school fees to study Law in a school like Unilag? Your sister seems like an intelligent and ambitious person and I just feel that your family contributed to killing the dreams of their only girl and making her what she is today. Your parents and family seemed very non-challant towards her education and she saw the handwriting on the wall that she will not receive any form of support from her family. Does your family have a bias against sending girls to school? She is the only girl and daughter and all of you failed her when she needed you the most. All this would have been prevented if she was in school.

She is probably still resentful and avoiding you all now. Hope it is not because of money you people now what to keep in touch with her?

Please don't be insensitive, of course it might have been prevented if she was in school but it would most likely have been avoided if she didnt open her legs for him now if they had the money at that point, wouldn't they have paid the fees.

Was it the parents that forced her to open her legs for a man almost 20years older.

She is not the first girl to work, save and go school without sleeping with men. I know a 21 year old currently working, saving small small with the aim of buying jamb form and going to school next year, she delayed WAEC for 2 yrs because of money, her mum is Yoruba and her father IBO somewhere in Anambra state. The woman couldn't afford it from her business and no money from the father , 3 grown up children the revered first son is even there too.
Life is very hard for a lot of Nigerians OK

Almost Similar scenario wrong choices, these ones i jist talked about even married properly.Good thing is these children I talk about are smart and disciplined enough to keep their legs shut.

Now that she is with the man, ordinary phone she can't get and you actually think this is about money?

She failed her self if you ask me, she has most of the blame.

What's even the essence of this life self, imagine coming into this world to embrace problems of different forms. Life is full of troubles and tribulations .

greatiyk4u:




This is the crux of the matter
Cultural variations is what is playing out here.


At this point visiting your sister may not yield any immediate positive results, you need to consult elders in his village first.

Which elders ?which village? Do they even know the village he is from apart from the state IMO
Do they even know the elders? At least if he came for bride price payment sebi people would have followed him and they will be able to point to some people that these are his people
Have they gone for any of their family functions?

That is the main issue from my own perspective, its the woman that knows the mans people ( thats even if she goes to his village) and can tell them who and who to meet.

lilvicky68:

When did Christ embassy start conducting deliverance services? with their phonetics..

Na better die by fire church she need

African demons no dey hear phonetics oooo. Christ Embassy is a scam organization. MFM and CAC are deliverance rending Churches.

NoToPile:


The OP has said somewhere in the thread that they are Yoruba.

The so called non dowry paying husband is wicked , he can't try what he did with an Igbo woman without consequence, someome would have traced his family compound and summoned him he knows they are Yoruba( (they don't even know his kinsman, his village and most likely his family) and poor so they can't do much, more reason why he moved them out of Lagos to portharcourt.

They can't trace his people to the village, nobody to even report him to if they want to, I am certain if that man was Yoruba like them they would have been able to trace his village/family at least

The man is a wicked man, he knows exactly what he is doing, more reason why he didn't get her a phone, do I blame him no, I blame the lady who got pregnant for a man and was not smart enough to at least allow him come with his people to do something on her head before taking her away, to make it worse its someone not from their tribe so her family knows no one they can relate with from his side.

If they both decide to vanish to the thin air today, there is no way the family can trace him.

I see. It's clearer now. More clearer is the evil he's committed.
This whole thing is troubling.
You can't quite blame the girl; she's only running away from poverty but, blindly so, partly due to her age or unsound judgment.
I feel for the mother more, I doubt if she sleeps at night through this.

TheGoodJoe:
Your sister is a grown-up woman. Let her live her life the way she wants. Move on.

I hope you tell yourself this same nonsense when your only daughter is involved, same thing applies to the 64 people that liked your post.

Hum... I didnt hear one mention of the child she bore out of the pregnancy. Bia, you people are sitting down there with your entitlement mentality instead of sending a delegate consisting of at least 2 or 3 peaceful members of your family to go and look for your sister and make sure she is alive and OK. Do this asap first then come back for advice.

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

Op locate the human rights office in your state or same state your sister lives to make it easier to handle.

You don't need much money to involve them as they usually offer free services.

That man can be said to have kidnapped your sister since he never paid bride price and can be charged with rape too since your sister was a minor when she got pregnant.

Omo to maintain ties now sef is expensive. You said the 'eloping husband's is living penury after his deportation from Germany.
Where would he get the money for transport fares of grannies .
Babe you check the price level for distance travels these days??
Blame naija economy guy!

Franklyspeakin:
My own sef is the angle u are coming from. Are u sure its not financial gains you people want from your sis?? Because a right thinking family would have been more interested in knowing if she is fine... That is pay a visit to see her, talk to ker and know if she is OK then probably remind her that her parents are worried about her. Which one is her presence is greatly needed?? Do you even know if your sister is still alive?? When last did you see her with your eyes?? See talk ooo. Go and check on her abeg. It could even be shame thats stopping her from coming back. Shame of you guys laughing at her. Go and show love to her before you start giving her responsibilities.




A family that can't find money to go and see their sister/daughter to be certain she is fine, to know if she is alive, to know if she is sane, but is more interested in her being present most definitely to pick up some responsibilities or to help look after the aged parents who killed her dreams and still didnt show her love when she needed it the most says a lot to buttress my point. See because a man is a deportee dosent mean he wont be able to stand on his feet and cater for his family. afterall they have been surviving all this years. Even the man knows he has un serious inlaws so he can take them for granted. Imagine if the girls family where more involved and concerned with their number one priority being the well being of their daughter, they won't have been complaining of losing their daughter.The annoying part is the dad is still ashamed of her and is yet to come to terms with reality as he continues to lie about the well being of his daughter. How will he make heaven sef If he dies and does he think his village people don't already know something is up as to no bride price collected yet she is married.?
My brother Hustle oooo make them no use you or your family do yeye

Honestly you re the real human franklyspeakin ..... Infact your Monika should have been "truth is bitter" going by the way you itemize your comment . A family that can ask of their own flesh and blood. If that girl had been married to obi cubana .... He wouldn't have come here to tell this rooster brood story they probably would have built a tent right in front of cubana "s compound

NPTJ:
We've once planned to visit her without their noticed. About three of us but we need to consider our pocket. Going and coming back isn't what we can cough out easily. Moreso, considering the fact that I'm still looking out for job. The burden will be too much on my elder brother

Don't mind all these people here insinuating and being conclusive over an issue they don't know the real details.

Which father will be happy to keep his daughter, and a man from nowhere would bring his phallus to impregnate her? As if that's not enough woe to befall a man, your sister decided to shut off the family. When you said your parents needed her, I know it wasn't for financial anything but to feel her, to hear her talk to them, touch them. Ara lo n ta won!

I've been married for a decade so I'm not a small girl but I'm still my parents' lil girl. My dad especially calls me averagely three times a week. Every of my birthdays till tomorrow, he's always the one to first send birthday wishes and prayers. When I graduated from the university, he had a gift waiting for me. He gave me out in marriage bearing about 80% of the cost. That is every father's dream. Not you having a daughter rudely snatched from you and the ingrate of a daughter not caring about her parents, her siblings, Haba!

Why isn't she with a phone? As poor as her husband is, he has a phone! Why can't she? Why not her with the phone? Is she alive? If yes, what condition is she in? Is she still sane?

See OP, I don't suffer fools gladly. In your present financial condition, you won't have money for 3 to go look for her. But for humanity sake, let 1 person go look for her, it might mean all of you contributing Tfare for that 1 person. Not to go and cause trouble but to just check on her if she's ok. Once you have ascertained that she's fine, leave her alone. That's the life she has chosen for herself. Forget diabolism, she gave up herself to be hypnotised.

Then, you and your other siblings, concentrate on your lives and make your parents happy. Imagine her dead in your life so you can move on. To her, you've all been dead a long time ago. Good luck trying.

Munzy14:
Lmao...add rccg join.

I can only speak for my church

You erred when you heaped the blame on the man. About your "going to treat his Bleep up", just hope he is not aware of his legal rights and also pray he doesn't have brothers too who love him as you love your sister, who will come to pay back as you did.


There is no law against living with a woman who is an adult without paying bride pride. Those are cultural and religious only, so I will advice you to prevail on him rather subtly until you succeed. Your sister being an adult makes it difficult for you to go hard on the man without being at fault. I have witnessed personally scenarios like this overtime and can tell you, you will lose if you try. Just follow peace with them and see if you make a headway and if not, let it. You cannot win here. Water crossed the bridge from the moment the young woman went into financial difficulties and succumbed to the man. You can't blame her, you cannot blame your parents and you cannot blame anybody. Life just happened, and too bad!

Wetin you want gangan?

But

How did she lose the admission to study law due to finance and you graduated, did you win scholarship?

Na the painful part be dis for me, it shows the girl was brilliant but due to lack of parental care and guidance she lost it

Hmmmm...what a shame. Shes an adult and living her life as she seemed fit....please let her be. Time will teach her the importance of staying in touch with her own family.


As for your parents, they failed her in so many ways and she's probably disowned them. Just leave her alone so long as you're not suspecting shes in danger. Good luck.

You are still living in delusion.
Christ has left the church because it has failed us.

Iyaebe:
My church is a living church and we have our own special way of conducting deliverance, let him locate any of our branch

lereinter:

Wetin you want gangan?

But

How did she lose the admission to study law due to finance and you graduated, did you win scholarship?

Na the painful part be dis for me, it shows the girl was brilliant but due to lack of parental care and guidance she lost it

I worked for some years, saved and pushed up to the uni. Got a scholarship then in school which aided my finances, got some few friends who also helped me in their little ways et al. Except my younger brother who's being supported by my immediate elder bro

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

Your sister may be a Virgin as at the time of meeting the man and having slept with the man, she believe that, the man is the best thing that has ever comes her way, considering the fact that she got admission and her parents made her to loose the admission

Now, reporting the said ma to hjs kins men along with your family and kinsmen, is one of the best way to approach this embarrassing situation

Your father must a matter of fact, involve his kings men into this matter let them all join heads to visit the man family

No matter how your gaohide this issue, people are already aware that your sister eloped with another man

NPTJ:
Good morning house

The only sister i and my other siblings had met a Man around 2008. He's from Imo state, a deportee from Germany who was in his late 40s when they met. My sister was just out of high school then and struggling to secure admission into any of the tertiary institutions. Luckily, she got admission to study law at Unilag after her second attempt. Sadly, there was no money to process the admission, she lost it. She was the first and only daughter of our parents. My parents were incapacitated financially to support her dream

My father never wanted her to work then, for guys not to take advantage of her or something. Having lost the admission, she insisted to work inorder to raise money for her studies. My dad got no option than to obliged

She met this man barely a year she started working. She was in her early 20s and full of dreams. Lest I forget, she was staying with our grand mother due to distance. This man got my sister pregnant and we got to hear about it. My dad got the man arrested and beat the hell out of my sister. He wept bitterly claiming this isn't the life he envisioned for his only daughter

He beseeched her and talk sense into her but she insisted, claiming she loved the man. This man was deported after spending almost half of his productive years outside the shores of Nigeria. He came back home with nothing and the next thing he could do was to got my sister pregnant claiming he loves her beyond words

My sister moved in with him and they started living together. We lost our grand parents (paternal and maternal) Yet, this man and my sister never stepped their foot in our house to commesorate. I lost my eldest brother, same thing happened. They never showed up. I was the 4th child of five children. Though, only four left now. She hardly call our parents nor we her siblings. To cap it all, my sister had stopped using phone ever since she moved to pourtharcourt with this man

This same man always attend his family function and very much into his family but isolated my sister away from her family. My sister never called throughout my days in the university just to know how I'm fairing, despite knowing our family condition. A very close friend of mine noticed this while in school and i did explained everything to him. He felt so bittered. He asserted the man might be diabolic, he's from the same town with the man in imo state

My parents are in their early/late 60s respectively and aging gradually. They couldn't felt the presence of their only daughter. Interestingly, family members got suspicious and they kept asking after her but my parents are bent on covering up, claiming she's fine. Yet, they goes to their closets to cry bitterly for the life of their daughter. I asked my dad why covering up, he claimed to have known his family pretty well, that they would do nothing

I'm just a young graduate, still job haunting. While my elder brother is gainfully employed with 50k as his monthly take home. He's being supportive with day to day running of the house and that of our last born studies. A friend suggested myself and elder brother with any of our uncle should go and treat the man's fvckup for eloping with someone's daughter without paying her bride price nor any other marital rite. I told him that isn't feasible for now due to our poor finances.

Nonetheless, we can't continue folding our hands and watch this man get away with this. She is the only daughter of our parents. Her presence is highly needed in their life, especially my mother

Please what can we do to make things work for my family back? I can't imagine having a sister who's more like a living dead

Any help, input or suggestions from anyone!

Do nothing...She has chosing her path. Nothing diabolical about it. You ll always have prodigal son/daughter in every family. Just let her be and at the appointed time she ll come back to her senses God willing

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...what a shame. Shes an adult and living her life as she seemed fit....please let her be. Time will teach her the importance of staying in touch with her own family.


As for your parents, they failed her in so many ways and she's probably disowned them. Just leave her alone so long as you're not suspecting shes in danger. Good luck.

please do you mind elucidating how our parents failed her?

Your input also implies that all poor parents failed their wards and as such they can't get a good life for themselves in a legal means?

Moreso, you meant our parents also failed the rest of us because they couldn't see us through school to the brim?


Maybe you should tell me what i don't know then

Gee64:
You are still living in delusion.
Christ has left the church because it has failed us.

Christ is still very much with us and all living churches.Christ said I shall be with you till the end of time,so Christ never left us that are doing what he preaches he will be with us forever.As for RCCG they like money too much so I can't speak for them.Shalom

Weird.

First off, how was your family able to send you to school but not your sister?

Second, how did you know that the man attended his own family functions if you've been out of touch with your sister?

Third, you can't force your sister to do whatever she doesn't want to do. But you can look for her and make sure she isn't being held against her will by the man.

Dazall.

frozen70:


Your sister may be a Virgin as at the time of meeting the man and having slept with the man, she believe that, the man is the best thing that has ever comes her way, considering the fact that she got admission and her parents made her to loose the admission

Now, reporting the said ma to hjs kins men along with your family and kinsmen, is one of the best way to approach this embarrassing situation

Your father must a matter of fact, involve his kings men into this matter let them all join heads to visit the man family

No matter how your gaohide this issue, people are already aware that your sister eloped with another man

The man did confirm the bolded though

Thanks for your input