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What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Nobody: 10:02am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy. my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

When most people don Chop belleful, Na wetin go burst their stomach dem go dey look for. It's a normal thing.....
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by jrusky(m): 10:03am On Oct 24, 2021
Have you checked yourself if there is something you are doing that is not right?

Reading your post I noticed a bit of social media maniac in you.

Any man or woman who is looking for Mr and Miss perfect will stay long on the queue.

Check yourself sis.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by mysticgal(f): 10:04am On Oct 24, 2021
emonis88:

Chai!! U dey vex o!!!
grin
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by jimmywealth: 10:04am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
find a man that can get you pregnant before it’s too late
Evolutionlove:
[/quote][quote author=Evolutionlove post=107012799]
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by mysticgal(f): 10:04am On Oct 24, 2021
BabbanBura:


Ekpele! We dey here dey wait ya own wail when eggs dem near finish!

I could boil some for you, you know?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by jaxxy(m): 10:04am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��


Chill!!! The problem isn’t the exactly bolded, those were all good/great advices and nature will always take its course as expected overtime. The real problem was getting a husband and being timely about it.

Getting pregnant as a teenager doesn’t give u a husband it gives u a child. Staying away from teen pregnancy doesn’t give u a husband either, it preserves ur dignity and respect which has many advantages than disadvantages.

Getting a husband is a whole different kettle of fish and u must know how to go about it and engage with the right suitors or else u miss the mark.

Every accomplishment/outcome is a factor of ur knowledge. U knew how to get 2 degrees bt didn’t know how to get hook or get a husband. That’s exactly what happened here.

If u want money u need a certain levels of knowledge and if applied correctly u will get money. If u want a degree u need to take the right action, go to college and study ur course and graduate with ur degree at the expected time for such degree. There was a time consciousnesses in getting ur degree bt surprisingly ladies are time conscious in getting a husband or married knowing they have a faster clock than men. U can’t move at the pace of men with slower clocks even though everybody has a clock ticking.

U had 2 relationships u said and ended it cos they were cheating. Now I have to let u know some people will marry their cheating bfs which I don’t generally recommend bt there might be cases for forgiveness and correction.

Now if u want a faithful bf leading to a faithful husband u can’t be looking for men hanging out at parties like u were doing and expect to meet a saint. undecided U have to apply the right knowledge depending on what ure looking for. U cud have tried smwhere more modest or serious like the office, ur degree classmates not the club. undecided

Take it or leave it u have ur faults in this misadventure. Ure an adult for crying out loud. Take responsibility.

I advice u save ur eggs by freezing them while trying out new ways to get a husband which is still very possible if u know what to do.

6 Likes

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by mysticgal(f): 10:05am On Oct 24, 2021
Champneys:


Sperm not spam, you fu...cking dunderhead!
grin grin grin
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by omooba969(m): 10:06am On Oct 24, 2021
[s]
Kobojunkie:
How can they be happy when they were raised by parents like yours to believe they need to have a man in their lives to complete them in some way? undecided

Jesus Christ taught us that God Almighty made created some - male and female alike - Eunuchs from birth, some become Eunuchs in life and others chose to become Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God - Matthew 19 vs 5 - 15 undecided

Sadly, some of those who were created Eunuchs are indoctrinated by ignorant parents into believing they are meant to marry and reproduce, setting their life into confusion from their very beginning. It is not mandatory to marry or have companions. This choice ought to be left to individuals to make on their own and in their own time. undecided

God made marital companionship a choice.... no one needs it to be happy,not even in old age. Those who don't have it can still be happy if they desire to be. And those who have it and are not happy can also choose to be happy regardless. undecided
[/s]

Your comment is a distorted concoction with no ingredients of true reality.

I bet you're still young and probably still answering to your parents.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by pinkygurl(f): 10:07am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships....
I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
You are lucky to have a few eggs left.l know someone with a medical condition who hit early menopause in her early thirties!.
Just one advice for you ma'am. HARVEST AND FREEZE YOUR EGGS QUICKLY!!!!
Consult a fertility doctor quickly to preserve your eggs while they still can.Even if your eggs are totally lost & maybe u are MENOPAUSAL ALREADY,
I'd advise you to consider adopting or if in the upper middle class, buy eggs from egg bank.
Also bear in mind that with ivf, egg boosters exist medically & a post menopausal woman in her sixties in the usa gave birth.
Do not dispair.Give relationships another try, pray, plan , There is hope!
Do not give up on love.your soul mate might just be close!

2 Likes

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by mysticgal(f): 10:07am On Oct 24, 2021
BabbanBura:


And nairaland evening newspapers with their heads palpitating like dog wey lion chased!

Do you actually know the meaning of palpitating or do you just throw words around?

palpitating
/ˈpalpɪteɪtɪŋ/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
(of the heart) beating rapidly, strongly, or irregularly

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by omooba969(m): 10:11am On Oct 24, 2021
icecool12:
Standards, parents expectations.

There’s nothing wrong in being a single mother, so I’d suggest it. I know an aunt who never got married. When she hit 4th floor, my grandma advised her to have one or two children but she refused. Today she’s about 76, lonely, ashamed, miserable and hardly visits home. So please, have a child or two.

I understand your drift but everything is wrong with being a single mother or a single dad.

It's not in our nature to live in isolation neither are we built for such. You can ask the single parents to get the true picture of things.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by younglleo: 10:11am On Oct 24, 2021
I'm here for you !
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by clockwisereport: 10:12am On Oct 24, 2021
Copied from quora

1 Like

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Nobody: 10:12am On Oct 24, 2021
You ended 2 serious relationship just because the men were cheating? You thought you were doing them but you really did yourself, because you risk losing your chance of children.

It may be too late for you already, however there may still be a slim chance but this is now an emergency situation. Time to forget Christian teaching of chastity, marriage etc. Starting today to make it a mission to get pregnant by next month, by any reasonable means possible. Good luck.
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Narldon: 10:12am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��



Mr Peter Ademiju, when did you start laying eggs?

Pathetic TroLL!
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by younglleo: 10:13am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
on a serious note, a very very serious note, dm
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Aganju849: 10:13am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

Bring ya crate over here let me fertilize the egg for you...for free ogrin
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by omoharry(f): 10:14am On Oct 24, 2021
Dear single ladies , Do not rush and become a baby mama when you know you are not ready mentally, emotionally &financially for that . Beside you can always adopt a lovely baby and give them all the love and care they need. Ensure the babies you are adopting, are orphans, so that a strange woman does not show up at Ur doorstep in the future, claiming you have her child .
If you know u are in Ur 40s, u don't have to marry or risk Ur life to become a baby mama to one useless inresponsible low life, just becos u are desperate to have a baby or becos marriage is not coming Ur way . Pls remember that some people are early bloomers ,while others are late .The most important thing is how you are able to manage it and make your life an interesting and a memorable one .

Take Ur time, develop your self both mentally and emotionally, make money , established your business or improve your career part , travel the world , visit new places ,people and Thier culture and Make yourself happy , Then love will find you, if you desire it .
When you are ready ,if u cannot do surrogate, then adopt a baby and show him/her all the love and care a mother would to her child . Give that child a good home and make her a better human being and the world will be grateful for taking one off the part of uncertainty
However ,if you know you cannot stay alone and you need a man in your life, then love will surely find you. But you must he a happy person, then love will find you . Do not short-change yourself for a loveless marriage or get married to a man that is irresponsible,aggressive,a serial cheater or one turns out to be your very nightmare.
Don't abide by the pressure of our society but follow your heart . Society has push so young many young men and women to early grave . All in the name of marriage and popping out children .

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by efficiencie(m): 10:15am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��

What is your problem gan gan? Are you angry with your parents for not being a single mother or for not getting a partner? You dated left, right and center indicating that you defied the so called advice of your parents, counsellors etc so who is fooling who!? Being a single mother is not hard na, come and spread your legs for the many single and directionless men on nairaland you are guaranteed to get pregnant real quick. If you are the right woman you will be at the right place, at the right thing, for the right purpose and get the right man...but when you have character defects, you will easily attract men who want to play!

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by pocohantas(f): 10:15am On Oct 24, 2021
PeaceJoyLove:


Men have their whole lifetime because they can have babies anytime. I know many men who actually settled down at 50+. And this is the trend for most focused men who choose to not marry young. The misconception is that African men get married early. Of course, not true again. The population is single men who are 40+ is so huge.

The drama of baby mama is huge; but you may consider it. Another option is sperm donor without the knowledge of the person. But this is Africa where emphasis is laid on the father.


There have never been a single misconception of African men marrying early. Definitely not Nigerian men.

2 Likes

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by captainking(m): 10:16am On Oct 24, 2021
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
Come back to naija and get married..
Folks over there ain't so keen on marriage I guess.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by akdjr(m): 10:16am On Oct 24, 2021
Come over I will make u pregnant so you can be a happy mother.
duyox2004:
I hate it. I’m 41, never married, no kids.

I’ve been close…twice. But ended both relationships when they were caught cheating.

I’ve dated several men since then, most older than me, and they seemed to be in no hurry to even be in a committed relationship. Which is crazy to me that these men are mid-40s and still trying to hangout with the guys and party. I met a whole guy group of friends in Houston 2 years ago…all single, all 36–45 years old. They were throwing house parties during the quarantine…parties!! ��

When I was in grade school, I was told to get a degree, don’t get pregnant, just enjoy being single, make friends, keep dating, and the right man will find you.

Now that I have two degrees, traveled the world, developed hobbies, and avoided pregnancy…my doctors are telling me to just be a single mom because I’m running out of eggs as I type this message. �

I beat teenage pregnancy to be considering single motherhood at 41. �

Damn you, parents, counselors, pastors, and everyone who gave me that advice. I can’t get that time (or my eggs) back. I hate being single at this age!! ��
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by UndauntedYOCA(f): 10:16am On Oct 24, 2021
That's why it's important to not let people *dictate* for you, take advice but be intentional and apply good ones with wisdom.
E don happen, if having kids is what you so desire then maybe you should consider other options of having kids. You can decide to have find someone who'd be interested in having sex with you without withdrawal method, you should or can also explain the aim to the person but ensure you both are healthy. Once you're pregnant then you're good, also, note that since this is what you want, the financial responsibility will have to be on you since you both it's you who wants a baby not him. Sha be careful if you intend going with this and get to know the person to some extent.
You can adopt etc.
If na husband and you dey find then maybe you should go to functions, seminars etc more
Whatever you do, be careful oooooo.

I don't know how egg boosting works but you can do findings especially where you're located (country).

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Legend999: 10:17am On Oct 24, 2021
If you desire cute kids, at least one or two, hit my DM. That's how far my help can go.

Not ready to settle down though.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by omoharry(f): 10:19am On Oct 24, 2021
captainking:

Come back to naija and get married..
Folks over there ain't so keen on marriage I guess.
This write up was copied from Quora (an America site) this op just went to copy and pasted it here just to bash single women . It was written by an American.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by AfroKnight: 10:21am On Oct 24, 2021
Nairaland babes are doing as if they don’t understand how the OP got there.

Biologically, compared to men, the odds are eternally stacked against women as they cross the 30 year old mark.

What’s more? In today’s society where women gain almost all the benefits of marriage and divorce, more men are reluctant to marry. There is no benefit for us that a girlfriend cannot give.

As long as we have unjust laws demonising a man for losing his marriage and forcing him into huge financial loss, men will always be apprehensive and they will increasingly embrace the idea of having baby mamas.

Women have made marriage a big financial risk for men. And as we know, a man in financial trouble is closer to depression than ever. He cannot be paid for his looks, his gender or for having sex. He is a man. And when he is forced to work only so a lazy ex wife can collect half his earning in the name of alimony or inflated child support, he will live a very sad life.

The solution for women like OP is to marry younger men who may be only after the comfort she provides. That doubt will always be there and she must live with it. It will take a miracle for her to meet a man in her age bracket who fits her ideals, as even 30+ women struggle to marry the man of their dreams.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by macho44(m): 10:22am On Oct 24, 2021
Kobojunkie:
So what do you intend to do now? undecided
Find A Donor & Get Pregnant, What Else grin
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Nobody: 10:23am On Oct 24, 2021
Dsprave:
No men wants to commit to any relationship nowadays, we all just want to party, change puna like we are changing cloth so far the system allow us. And you are in Houston, even those below your age still struggle to make a guy commit, you got to make your choice be a single mum or wait until the right man come.
MEN are tired of being demeaned by these New Generation of Empowered Ladies.
Enough of all the insults.
They should get mannequins or vibrators.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Ghoxt: 10:23am On Oct 24, 2021
mysticgal:
It’s so sad that a lot of people are going to fall into this thread advising and trolling women in a demeaning way, due to your story.

It's a repost from Quora, don't sweat it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Nobody: 10:23am On Oct 24, 2021
pocohantas:


Isn’t that the standard? Blame everyone but yourself?

That is why I will continue to commend Linda Ikeji for having that boy. She did what a right thinking woman should do. Not taking postinor 2 at 38.

If you want a child and you can cater for that child, by all means have that child. Even small girls of 21 are having their babies. Then a grown financially independent woman in her late 30s is somewhere asking “hope you didn’t cum inside”. undecided undecided

People must talk. When they are done talking, they will move on. With time they’ll appreciate the decision you took years ago.



I am 43. Not me.




No need for that. Menopause came early.


Make I no lie, I would still smash you given the chance.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by kkins25(m): 10:24am On Oct 24, 2021
Hathor5:


I got similar advice, lived a similar lifestyle and still started a family. Late for Nigerian standards but I have no regrets and I don't blame anyone for how my life turned out to be. On contrary, I'm extremely grateful I got to live the life I did before I have settled down.

I doubt your story is true but who knows.
grin grin grin grin
with the army of prayer warriors going for night vigils in search of husbands? if Doctors advised her to remain single, then i guess its probably because her eggs are loosing viability and fast. Unfortunate, that some get lost in the career pursuit. Capitalism is yhe wombs devil.
Re: What Is It Like To Grow Old And Never Be Married? by Nobody: 10:25am On Oct 24, 2021
Fowl eggs nko

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