placeofallure:
@Toks2008, valid advice.

I don't know how a lady will be good looking and well behaved and no man will be willing to marry her. I have a friend in this category, she's even older than me, in her early 40s but she's not on Nairaland. I wish she could see this honestly.

Pussywar:

“Used up” “Brand new womb” “Used one”
What a shame.

Toks2008:


My brother no pun intended, the issue with many posters on nairaland is that most of them are still kids and yes i mean kids so they still see life through the eyes of fantasy rather than reality.

Fortunately they will all live long to remember threads like this just that they will not come back here to apologize for being Naïve.

The way they describe single mums go a long way to confirm how immature they are.

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence.

2. If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
As you get older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

Why are guys getting triggered at the mention of juju? I thought we are all here to advise advanced spinsters on how to get husband. All angles must be covered abeg.

perambulator:



Yes! Your position assumes that unless a woman has a child, she is incomplete or cant be happy in life. We dont come from a home of single parents and we do not bequeath single parenthood to our children because of our mistakes in life. We accept our lot and make the best of what life has to offer. Not everybody will be rich, have children, have husnad or have a wife. Stop leading women astray, there is no husband waiting for 99% of women above 40, talk less of one with a child. A child without the right foundation will end up damaged, that is the reality of the future that awaits the child of a single mother especially without siblings. Counsel your women on how not to create future problems and poor options for themselves instead of telling them they can solve bad problems by creating more bad problems.

I have said mine, you have said yours......goodbye. Women do not be deceived by love doctors,nobody has it all!! Yesterdays poor decisions leads to today's poor options and today's poor decisions will lead to poor options in future, the outcome of your life is solely down to you and the choices you make!!!! Women always talk about finding husbands, Women dont find husbands, men find wives. the job of a woman is too put herself in a position to be found. By having a child she is doing the exact opposite!!!

Oviebright:

I don’t think you understand the point of the OP. Having a child before menopause gives a single woman at least something to be happy for in life some sort of joy. You get? Since she couldn’t get married or have a husband at least if having a child could serve as WIN for her than why not? You get? So you expect her to remain childless depressed and lonely?? Please I’m a young man and I totally understand the point of the OP. At least a child gives her a purpose In life and living. So if she remains single and childless wetin she gain?

Pataricatering:
your parents did a very poor job raising you

Toks2008:


You as well as all those who gave you a like for this silly comment are immature and the type of guys I was referring to


No Real man will call a woman damaged cos they are single mums...

I feel so irritated reading your comment but then it is your opinion.

Toks2008:


No worries I go employ you to dey proofread for me.

I can't come and kill myself. Thanks

PUSSYHOE:


Na so my baby mama hook me o she is 30 i am lesser than that. From looking at both of us you can tell. Can a woman like that enter the kingdom of God? .

The trick was I don't like condom i can take care of myself.

QueenVaji:

conceive brain first...pig

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence.

2. If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
As you get older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

Why are guys getting triggered at the mention of juju? I thought we are all here to advise advanced spinsters on how to get husband. All angles must be covered abeg.

Toks2008:


As per the moniker you talked about I don't know about that but regarding my services... With that your figure I will say I'm fully in lol! Just gladly be my lifetime legitimate concubine.

Modified : This babe no well o.. She just changed the pics on her Dp from one hot curvy lady to an old woman...

Wereh

Lovalovaphunmz:
Na single we single, we no kill person

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:


Science has made the world easier you can get pregnant without sex ....in some advance country a lady can marry herself then impregnate her self with sperm donor. Yea I think it's France or Germany or Korea I have forgotten the country..

Yea if you need a child and u haven't found a responsible guy get a sperm donor.
Here in Nigeria where everything is being tied to spirituality it might b hard .. why some families would see it as a taboo

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

Toks2008:


My sister some ladies are just unlucky. This has nothing to do with village people, behaviour or whatever. Will this set of ladies kill themselves or enter menopause because husband no show habba!

Even many of those wey marry sef dey leave their marriage so what is the big deal about ''I MUST MARRY BEFORE I BORN'' mentality?

BigBashiru:


Are you suggesting that it's okay to born even if not married?

Toks2008:


I undrstand your point but it still does not change the narrative that REAL MEN see no big deal in marrying a single mum. That does not mean men don't have a choice to make.

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

LutanFyah:
Nigga STFU with your "real men" bvllshit.

A man decides not to marry a used up woman with children and here you are foaming from every orifices in your body to insult such man.


If she is good enough, why didn't the man that impregnated her,marry her? If the man deceived her into getting pregnant, it obviously means she can't make good decisions to save her life.

The youngman you quoted calmly admonished you to stop with the stupidity but you're still here with your folly.


NOBODY REJECTS A BRAND NEW WOMB TO GO MINGLE WITH A USED ONE COS HE TRYING TO BE A " real man".

siofra:

We wey no like children now? This one everyone is saying have children if you're in your late thirties or early forties and you haven't seen a responsible man to marry.

BigBashiru:


You saw responsible men but you blew them away out of arrogance believing the attention and interest will keep coming forever.... parents are also partly to blame.....

siofra:




What are you talking about?

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

Don’t waste your time going to Shiloh or all these scam pentecostal churches. They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.

It is better you use your hand and hook the one you like. But treat him well.

Nothing wrong in hooking husband. Even the bible says the kingdom of God suffereth violence.

pocohantas:


They will end up hooking you up with one boring evangelist that suffers premature ejaculatiôn.