useless advice.

When they were younger they were treating men like trash.
Theyre older now looking for sperm donor and juju to use.
There will always be consequences for your actions.

The silly OP was even trying to blackmail men with that their useless line
genuine/real men wont mind marrying single mothers

only a fool or simp will marry a single mother. Men never fall for that manipulation.
Avoid single mothers. Theyre most times women who wanted to eat their cake and have it but lost. So now looking for one mumu-man they can put their life baggages on. After you suffer to help her life and raise another mans child the father of the child will just showup after the child is grown and the child will go to the father.

The fact that there are many women hitting menopause now even tells you there are many options for you so why endup with a damaged/tampered goods like a single mother when there are many fresh single girls

Poco, don't tell me you're an atheist ooo.
I may need to do introduction sharp sharp.

pocohantas:


What makes you think she wants to enter the kingdom of God?

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

You tried with this your write-up but a single mum a.k.a baby mama is a big NO NO, many (not all) of them are toxic, avoid them for your own good.

Iyaebe:
Omo mi where have you been? My day is going smoothly, just some groups and market issues to resolve lol, hope you full ground remain.

I just dey, I just dey observe o.
I've been fine, I bless God.
Are you in good health?
Iyaebe, Iyaebe, you just dey give me joy sha.

Smile4mee01:


Omo. E shock me. Men need to be more careful o.
I no mind make the world end now. It's only going to get worse.

. Baba as in ehnn dem no even de hide or code the matter again o,small small Jaruma don give them mind to Jazz men.God will help us for this generation sha

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.
4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

So, in your opinion, men who know what they want and avoid single mothers are not real men?

Such men are also not genuine?

Hahaha...

At first you said it's your opinion, but later, you made it sound like your opinion is a fact.

It's not a fact, neither is it a well thought out opinion.

The truth is, one man's food is another man's poison. Some men mind, others don't. Their choice doesn't validate or invalidate their masculinity...

Your problem is, you're trying too hard to sound reasonable.

I said on another thread earlier that opinions are like buttholes. You have yours, every other person has theirs...

That doesn't mean we should go around trying to shove our buttholes down each other's throats...

Toks2008:
Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.

Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible...

You will never come across the advise I'm about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.

1. Understand that not everybody will get married:

Marriage is not a do or die thing... Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.

2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.

At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.

Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story...

I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy... Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.

Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen... So What is the point?

3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.

The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.

Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.

If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don't have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child's father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.

4. A man who will love you will love you.

Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.

5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below... If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.

According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.

All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.

I hope this makes sense.

Hard facts

Toks2008 :

Many guys are quoting me out of context but I WROTE WHAT I WROTE... NO REAL MAN WILL REJECT A LADY COS SHE IS A SINGLE MUM.

This does not mean it is wrong for a man to have a preference and that a man who chooses not to be with a single mum is not a real man but as long as a man rejects a lady who he would ordinarily be with based on the fact that she is a single mum, the guy is not mature in matters of the heart.

My opinion and I stand by it.

I have read your posts over the years and generally speaking you’ve made sense. However your comments on having a child without a father, I repeat are irresponsible and you have the audacity to double down. I initially opened the thread only because I say your handle but I have now lost all regard for you. How dare you say a man is not a real man because he will not date or marry a single mother? Is it our job to pick up strays? We all have a right to our choices and standards. I repeat it is irresponsible to encourage women to make poor choices in life by telling them any man who rejects them for their bad choices is not a real man. You are leading women astray. A man who is worth his salt will not see a single woman with no kids and pick a single mother. So it is precisely the opposite. It is a weak man that will pick a single mother because he cannot get a single woman without kids. I repeat the problem with single mothers is not just the baggage that comes with being a single mother but it is also usually (emphasis on usually) a woman who has a poor mindset, makes bad choices, comes from a broken home that ends up a single mother. It is very often a woman with a certain kind of mindset that becomes a single mother in the 1st place. The kind of mindset you don’t want in a wife in the 1st place. Focus your advice to women on how not to get to 40 and single in the 1st place. Save the ones that can be saved instead of deceiving women for whom there is little hope. Less than 1% of women over 40 will EVER find a man to marry and it is also largely because instead of you to encourage these women to be introspective and reassess their missteps you blame men!!!!

Everyone is wholly responsible for the outcome of their life, bad choices lead to bad consequences. No man is responsible for the choices a woman made before he met her.

The mistake people make and which you are making is they equate marriage with matters of the heart. Marriage is about compatibility not romantic love. If you are compatible love will come and the real kind not the romantic kind . Ofcourse it is best when romantic love and compatibility exist from the onset but compatibility is the most important requirement, love (the romantic type which usually the one people confuse for love) fades especially when it has blinded one to incompatible choice of a life partner.

@Toks2008, valid advice.

I don't know how a lady will be good looking and well behaved and no man will be willing to marry her. I have a friend in this category, she's even older than me, in her early 40s but she's not on Nairaland. I wish she could see this honestly.

perambulator:


I have read your posts over the years and generally speaking you’ve made sense. However your comments on this thread I repeat are irresponsible and you have the audacity to double down. I initially opened the thread only because I say your handle but I have now lost all regard for you How dare you say a man is not a real man because he will not date or marry a single mother? Is it our job to pick up strays? We all have a right to our choices and standards. I repeat it is irresponsible to encourage women to make poor choices in life by telling them any man who rejects them for their bad choices is not a real man. You are leading women astray. A man who is worth his salt will not see a single woman with no kids and pick a single mother. So it is precisely the opposite. It is a weak man that will pick a single mother because he cannot get a single woman without kids. I repeat the problem with single mothers is not just the baggage that comes with being a single mother but it is also usually (emphasis on usually) a woman who has a poor mindset, makes bad choices, comes from a broken home that ends up a single mother. It is very often a woman with a certain kind of mindset that becomes a single mother in the 1st place. The kind of mindset you don’t want in a wife in the 1st place. Focus your advice to women on how not to get to 40 and single in the 1st place. Save the ones that can be saved instead of deceiving women for whom there is little hope. Less than 1% of women over 40 will EVER find a man to marry and it is also largely because instead of you to encourage these women to be introspective and reassess their missteps you blame men!!!!

Everyone is wholly responsible for the outcome of their life, bad choices lead to bad consequences. No man is responsible for the choices a woman made before he met her.

The mistake people make and which you are making is they equate marriage with matters of the heart. Marriage is about compatibility not romantic love. If you are compatible love will come and the real kind not the romantic kind . Ofcourse it is best when romantic love and compatibility exist from the onset but compatibility is the most important requirement, love (the romantic type which usually the one people confuse for love) fades especially when it has blinded one to incompatible choice of a life partner.

Guy see i no dey write because i want some form of regard from any quarters but i do so because i have a passion for it. Over the years my write ups have been a topic of discussion in many media houses shortly after it gets to the front page which should tell you that i must be writing something a bit reasonable and contrary to what many people think, i dont write because i want to be noticed or make front page cos it is apparent that making front page is no longer new to me as over half of my 300+ topics have graced the front page over the years.

Having said this, i still maintain my notion and it is clear from what you wrote up there that you still have a myopic perspective to life. Having lived over 4 decades on earth, whatever i write at this point should be considered strongly even if i call it an Opinion which of course we all are entitled to no matter how foolish it may sound.

Look at the way you make it seem as though it is the fault of single mothers who find themselves in such a situation. Guy LIFE HAPPENS and when it does, it usually happens to the most careful and decent.

I dont know your age but by now you should know that a lady who keeps a pregnancy is more decent than the one who chooses to abort and a lady who knows all the name of contraceptive must be a bit more sexually active than a rookie who is so naive to the point of getting pregnant.

What about ladies who are victims of irresponsible men who let them down?, Ladies who were actually looking forward to getting married but got disappointed by randy men...the list goes on and on.

So when i wrote that no REAL MAN will reject a lady he truly desires because she is a single mum i stand by it and if you do not understand the contextual application then you have the right to make your conclusions.

being a single mum does not always mean the ladies are what you described up there and the fact that you even had those thoughts you poured out there is indicative that you still have a lot to understand .

Ladies you all are beautiful and have distinct qualities that makes you unique, let it show, don't be bitter, smile and be optimistic, the right man will come to you. Here are some things you can start doing to get you a man https://www.nairaland.com/6817856/how-get-yourself-man

Toks2008:


Thanks

I kuku see am Tey Tey but I chose to ignore.

Sometimes it is not worth taking this English thing too seriously. After all it is a borrowed language that is only a means of expression and not a measure of intelligence.

Written English in Nigeria today gives me teary eyes even from so called bloggers. I'm really concerned.@the bolded, you don't know who's reading so don't ignore next time

Since we're all about opinions. Mine: most Nigerian girls are gold digging hoes. Watch a video I made on that subject. For real Gs, don't get trapped by a hoe. Use them and wash your hands off them once you're done.
Video:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty495X_Qqy4

jikins:


I don't agree that they will feel inadequate. Maybe the word you are looking for is incomplete . If the mother trains them well and give them all the attention they need they will be very fine. Yes they will be feeling incomplete as they don't have a dad. It's normal especially when they see the dads of others. But it's not a massive issue as you are putting it. So many people have been raised by single moms through out history, they didn't feel inadequate infact they went on to do great stuffs. A little white lie that their dad died before they were born would help lessen the impact.

Your statement seems contradictory...

Toks2008:


You are free. Just reference the source before you get sued lol!

Toks, so after all these write-up, you still want to make heaven according to your signature abi? Kontinu

Toks2008:


Tell me one solution I wrote that is outside GOD... Just one.

A sperm donor - or did I equally miss the memo.

komodapson:


Your statement seems contradictory...

What's contradicting there?

Toks2008:


Guy see i no dey write because i want some form of regard from any quarters but i do so because i have a passion for it. Over the years my write ups have been a topic of discussion in many media houses shortly after it gets to the front page which should tell you that i must be writing something a bit reasonable and contrary to what many people think, i dont write because i want to be noticed or make front page cos it is apparent that making front page is no longer new to me as over half of my 300+ topics have graced the front page over the years.

Having said this, i still maintain my notion and it is clear from what you wrote up there that you still have a myopic perspective to life. Having lived over 4 decades on earth, whatever i write at this point should be considered strongly even if i call it an Opinion which of course we all are entitled to no matter how foolish it may sound.

Look at the way you make it seem as though it is the fault of single mothers who find themselves in such a situation. Guy LIFE HAPPENS and when it does, it usually happens to the most careful and decent.

I dont know your age but by now you should know that a lady who keeps a pregnancy is more decent than the one who chooses to abort and a lady who knows all the name of contraceptive must be a bit more sexually active than a rookie who is so naive to the point of getting pregnant.

What about ladies who are victims of irresponsible men who let them down?, Ladies who were actually looking forward to getting married but got disappointed by randy men...the list goes on and on.

So when i wrote that no REAL MAN will reject a lady he truly desires because she is a single mum i stand by it and if you do not understand the contextual application then you have the right to make your conclusions.

being a single mum does not always mean the ladies are what you described up there and the fact that you even had those thoughts you poured out there is indicative that you still have a lot to understand .

If this is how you make a living then it is even more irresponsible of you. You are like a pastor preying on the vulnerable in society. I have not seen you advice the young women how not to get themselves to a stage where they are faced with these poor options in the 1st place. Instead you are leading the old ones astray advising them to have children (many of whom will become problem children because of the circumstances of their birth) selling them hope that it is the man’s fault instead of counseling them on the dangers of having children late in life or other options for a fulfilled life without children. It is bad enough that a woman is mature and single and cant find a man, you now advice them to get pregnant without a man in their lives because the man that didn’t find them when they were single will now find them with a child.....really? You are are creating more problems for the woman, for the child and for society!!!! The fact that you can do something does not mean you should do it. There is a reason why menopause exists in nature. The child will have no father, no sibling, what if something happens to the mother? Lastly you need to coach women on realities not fantasies, we can argue over whether it is weakness or strength to reject/accept a single mum the reality is men dont want another man's child, nature did not design us that way!!! Even in nature a lion invades a pack takes the female and kills all the existing cubs. Telling women of 40 "a man who will love you will love you", is it that in 40 years they havent found a man that will love them and they will now find one after they have given birth? get real!!! Has it occurred to you that the talent pool for a woman in her 40s are flawed because most men are already married and those who arent want a younger woman? A woman of 40 doesnt have much leverage or bargaining chips to then add child to her situation and to expect to realistically have any hopes of finding a permanent life partner. Sometimes it's good to just accept one is not in a good situation and make the best of where you are without complicating your life or selling false hope.

You are clearly not thoughtful enough to be a life coach...certainly not on this issue!!!

This is a highly sensitive topic. I agree with all the points highlighted by the writer except one: sperm donation. If you can get a man to impregnate you through sperm donation,why don't you get the same man to impregnate you through normal process? To me,it seeme like an unnecessary denial of pleasure associated with child-making. Well, different stroke for different folks.
I will replace sperm donation with one postulated by a lady:
If you really need a man and you are not getting one, don't be scared to destroy another lady's relationship, especially one who doesn't value the man in the life

Shokoloko:


You have spoken well
This is Nike Osinowo (at 47 years) with beautiful kids from sperm donation. Case closed, all pressure off her shoulders.

This sperm donor of a thing is rubbish
Who is the owner of these sperms in the first place
Those kids will ask of their father when they grow up and what will be her explanation?
By the way, that sperm donor might meet any of those kids in the future and decide to marry her unknowing if it's a girl child.
Please let us stop justifying what is not right

eagleonearth:
Written English in Nigeria today gives me teary eyes even from so called bloggers. I'm really concerned.@the bolded, you don't know who's reading so don't ignore next time

No worries I go employ you to dey proofread for me.

I can't come and kill myself. Thanks

dfrost:


Toks, so after all these write-up, you still want to make heaven according to your signature abi? Kontinu

My heaven dey as sure as day and night.

It is the pastors who are not sincere with people you should be worried about.

All I wrote are perfectly sinless.

Solofresh2:
This sperm donor of a thing is rubbish
Who is the owner of these sperms in the first place
Those kids will ask of their father when they grow up and what will be her explanation?
By the way, that sperm donor might meet any of those kids in the future and decide to marry her unknowing if it's a girl child.
Please let us stop justifying what is not right

As I wrote, a Known donor is better

Cubeman:
This is a highly sensitive topic. I agree with all the points highlighted by the writer except one: sperm donation. If you can get a man to impregnate you through sperm donation,why don't you get the same man to impregnate you through normal process? To me,it seeme like an unnecessary denial of pleasure associated with child-making. Well, different stroke for different folks.
I will replace sperm donation with one postulated by a lady:
If you really need a man and you are not getting one, don't be scared to destroy another lady's relationship, especially one who doesn't value the man in the life

Ashawo man.

Solofresh2:
This sperm donor of a thing is rubbish
Who is the owner of these sperms in the first place
Those kids will ask of their father when they grow up and what will be her explanation?
By the way, that sperm donor might meet any of those kids in the future and decide to marry her unknowing if it's a girl child.
Please let us stop justifying what is not right

1. It is isn't rubbish
2. Some sperm donors opt to be known by the kid at an appropriate age. The mother can easily arrange a meet up
3. A man 30 years older than a girl has no business marrying her even if it is not his sperm that gave birth to her.

I see you are a young man. I was once like you but later in life you will find out that life is not black and white. Nobody is saying that it is the best situation. It is not.
But then life is not fair to everyone and we will not say people should remain unhappy and miserable because they were not able to get married.

Shokoloko:


1. It is isn't rubbish
2. Some sperm donors opt to be known by the kid at an appropriate age. The mother can easily arrange a meet up
3. A man 30 years older than a girl has no business marrying her even if it is not his sperm that gave birth to her.

I see you are a young man. I was once like you but later in life you will find out that life is not black and white. Nobody is saying that it is the best situation. It is not.
But then life is not fair to everyone and we will not say people should remain unhappy and miserable because they were not able to get married.

It is rubbish
Imagine you saying the mother can arrange for the kids to meet up with the sperm donor.That's very selfish of you because it will affect those kids psychologically.That's the mistake you people make. You only care about the yourselves not knowing that, not all kids will be happy to find themselves in that type of situation and they might grow up to hate their mother for long.

And lastly,who told that the man must be up to thirty years before he becomes a sperm donor?
And even if he is thirty years,who tells you he cannot decide to marry a lady 30years younger than he is?
You know how many years Ned Nwoko collect for Regina Daniel hand?

The thing is you women should learn how to reduce your "hard to get" stuff so that you will find someone to marry when you are supposed to.

perambulator:


If this is how you make a living then it is even more irresponsible of you. You are like a pastor preying on the vulnerable in society. I have not seen you advice the young women how not to get themselves to a stage where they are faced with these poor options in the 1st place. Instead you are leading the old ones astray advising them to have children (many of whom will become problem children because of the circumstances of their birth) selling them hope that it is the man’s fault instead of counseling them on the dangers of having children late in life or other options for a fulfilled life without children. It is bad enough that a woman is mature and single and cant find a man, you now advice them to get pregnant without a man in their lives because the man that didn’t find them when they were single will now find them with a child.....really? You are are creating more problems for the woman, for the child and for society!!!! The fact that you can do something does not mean you should do it. There is a reason why menopause exists in nature. The child will have no father, no sibling, what if something happens to the mother? Lastly you need to coach women on realities not fantasies, we can argue over whether it is weakness or strength to reject/accept a single mum the reality is men dont want another man's child, nature did not design us that way!!! Even in nature a lion invades a pack takes the female and kills all the existing cubs. Telling women of 40 "a man who will love you will love you", is it that in 40 years they havent found a man that will love them and they will now find one after they have given birth? get real!!! Has it occurred to you that the talent pool for a woman in her 40s are flawed because most men are already married and those who arent want a younger woman? A woman of 40 doesnt have much leverage or bargaining chips to then add child to her situation and to expect to realistically have any hopes of finding a permanent life partner. Sometimes it's good to just accept one is not in a good situation and make the best of where you are without complicating your life or selling false hope.

You are clearly not thoughtful enough to be a life coach...certainly not on this issue!!!

Please next time try to put paragraphs in your post so that it will be easy to read and comprehend.

Having painstakingly read your post i can see that you lack total comprehension of my write up else you wont waste your time writing that epistle that has no bearing with the message.

If you have a sister that is going to 40 with menopause calling would you ask her to continue waiting for a husband? I dont even know how you guys reason but then its all good. Nah my opinion i write which can be ignored in its entirety.

Have a pleasant week.

Toks2008:


As I wrote, a Known donor is better

Either known or not, it's still rubbish!
Tell those women to stop playing hard to get and know who to settle down with at the right time.
You are the ones giving these women hopes and you will still be the one to complain about them at the end of the day
If they see these now, they will be feeling funky

pocohantas:
1: Use juju and hook one man.

She doesn't believe in religion but she believes in juju which is of the traditional religion.
No be juju be that?


E be like say na juju Funmi use hold me o.I no like am again but na mouth I dey use talk say I go break up.
If I don type break up message,I go clear am again without sending!

Shokoloko:


1. It is isn't rubbish
2. Some sperm donors opt to be known by the kid at an appropriate age. The mother can easily arrange a meet up
3. A man 30 years older than a girl has no business marrying her even if it is not his sperm that gave birth to her.

I see you are a young man. I was once like you but later in life you will find out that life is not black and white. Nobody is saying that it is the best situation. It is not.
But then life is not fair to everyone and we will not say people should remain unhappy and miserable because they were not able to get married.

My brother no pun intended, the issue with many posters on nairaland is that most of them are still kids and yes i mean kids so they still see life through the eyes of fantasy rather than reality.

Fortunately they will all live long to remember threads like this just that they will not come back here to apologize for being Naïve.

The way they describe single mums go a long way to confirm how immature they are.

Toks2008:


Please next time try to put paragraphs in your post so that it will be easy to read and comprehend.

Having painstakingly read your post i can see that you lack total comprehension of my write up else you wont waste your time writing that epistle that has no bearing with the message.

If you have a sister that is going to 40 with menopause calling would you ask her to continue waiting for a husband? I dont even know how you guys reason but then its all good. Nah my opinion i write which can be ignored in its entirety.

Have a pleasant week.

Yes! Your position assumes that unless a woman has a child, she is incomplete or cant be happy in life. We dont come from a home of single parents and we do not bequeath single parenthood to our children because of our mistakes in life. We accept our lot and make the best of what life has to offer. Not everybody will be rich, have children, have husnad or have a wife. Stop leading women astray, there is no husband waiting for 99% of women above 40, talk less of one with a child. A child without the right foundation will end up damaged, that is the reality of the future that awaits the child of a single mother especially without siblings. Counsel your women on how not to create future problems and poor options for themselves instead of telling them they can solve bad problems by creating more bad problems.

I have said mine, you have said yours......goodbye. Women do not be deceived by love doctors,nobody has it all!! Yesterdays poor decisions leads to today's poor options and today's poor decisions will lead to poor options in future, the outcome of your life is solely down to you and the choices you make!!!! Women always talk about finding husbands, Women dont find husbands, men find wives. the job of a woman is too put herself in a position to be found. By having a child she is doing the exact opposite!!!