Good morning nairalanders,
My name is Rose. I’m from Imo state, but was born and raised in Lagos. I and my fiancé of 5 years now are planning to making things officially by getting married traditionally. He’s father is from Abia state while his mom is from PH(port harcourt)
His father passed away when he was very young and since then, he hasn’t been in communication with anybody from his father family. He believes his father family is fetish and played a role in his father’s death.
Now that we’re planning to get married, in the Igbo culture if the father of the groom to be isn’t present,he will be represented by his uncles, but now the issue is that there’s nobody to represent him.
Is it possible for only his mother family to represent him?
Because in marriage, love isn’t enough. Family is also important.
Please nairalander I need your advice. Please engage.

His best friend father can stand for him or an elder from his place of worship.
What if he was an orphan without any close family member won't he get married?

Elders please this one pass my power





Make una come add small on top this mata abeg

Pay people to act as your uncle

Damnnn niggar

Only a foolish man distance himself from his family

He should go and make peace with his family

Mood11:
His best friend father can stand for him or an elder from his place of worship.
What if he was an orphan without any close family member won't he get married?

Op, I think this is answer to your question

Mood11:
His best friend father can stand for him or an elder from his place of worship.
What if he was an orphan without any close family member won't he get married?

What about his mother family, isn’t it possible for them to represent him? He has lot of uncles from his maternal family

Mood11:
His best friend father can stand for him or an elder from his place of worship.
What if he was an orphan without any close family member won't he get married?

learn Nigerian culture, education shouldn't make you stupid but sensible.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar

Only a foolish man distance himself from his family

He should go and make peace with his family

He’s not foolish and he didn’t decide to distance himself
He lost his dad when he was young and he’s mom isn’t Igbo. He’s father family is just wicked and only care about property.

NLbabygirl:
Good morning nairalanders,
My name is Rose. I’m from Imo state, but was born and raised in Lagos. I and my fiancé of 5 years now are planning to making things officially by getting married traditionally. He’s father is from Abia state while his mom is from PH(port harcourt)
His father passed away when he was very young and since then, he hasn’t been in communication with anybody from his father family. He believes his father family is fetish and played a role in his father’s death.
Now that we’re planning to get married, in the Igbo culture if the father of the groom to be isn’t present,he will be represented by his uncles, but now the issue is that there’s nobody to represent him.
Is it possible for only his mother family to represent him?
Because in marriage, love isn’t enough. Family is also important.
Please nairalander I need your advice. Please engage.

his top church member can stand or his mind brothers after all he grew only with them. Bleep his dad people wey no send am

Stenewiser:
learn Nigerian culture, education shouldn't make you stupid but sensible.

You are very very stupid for quoting me to say this rubbish. Stick with whatever you think.
If you know the culture then you should also know about boundaries.

NLbabygirl:
Good morning nairalanders,
My name is Rose. I’m from Imo state, but was born and raised in Lagos. I and my fiancé of 5 years now are planning to making things officially by getting married traditionally. He’s father is from Abia state while his mom is from PH(port harcourt)
His father passed away when he was very young and since then, he hasn’t been in communication with anybody from his father family. He believes his father family is fetish and played a role in his father’s death.
Now that we’re planning to get married, in the Igbo culture if the father of the groom to be isn’t present,he will be represented by his uncles, but now the issue is that there’s nobody to represent him.
Is it possible for only his mother family to represent him?
Because in marriage, love isn’t enough. Family is also important.
Please nairalander I need your advice. Please engage.

Whenever I see the bolded I just shake my head, the rate of superstitious belief is really alarming even when issues arise as a result of natural explainable causes. His father's family are fetish while his mother's family are not, this is the reason why peace and harmony rarely exist at home. one party feeding kids with all sorts of unimaginable stories about the family of their partner while portraying their own family as saints. Really appalling.

NLbabygirl:


He’s not foolish and he didn’t decide to distance himself
He lost his dad when he was young and he’s mom isn’t Igbo. He’s father family is just wicked and only care about property

How did you know his father's people are wicked when you haven't even met any once? You just swallow stories hook line and sinker.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar

Only a foolish man distance himself from his family

He should go and make peace with his family

Most times it happens as a result of stories fed into the kids by their mothers, why are the family of the husbands always bad but that of the wife are saints? This narrative is pushed out mainly by women.

Mood11:

You are very very stupid for quoting me to say this rubbish. Stick with whatever you think.
If you know the culture then you should also know about boundaries.

people like you dies two weeks into marriage, because of your adopted mentality.

....I just dey see comments here and i dey laugh.
The guy is bleeped already and if care is not taken,he has lost his lineage just because of what her mum told her about his father's people.

He should try and find out the truth from his father's family and make amends.

idahme:
Most times it happens as a result of stories fed into the kids by their mothers, why are the family of the husbands always bad but that of the wife are saints? This narrative is pushed out mainly by women.

Dumb rhetorics and silly excuses when faced with the truth, what stops the fathers family from stepping in and prove them otherwise? Or did the mother abi women stop them at gun point from reaching out to their brother's children in this internet age?

JONNYSPUTE:
....I just dey see comments here and i dey laugh.
The guy is bleeped already and if care is not taken,he has lost his lineage just because of what her mum told her about his father's people.

He should try and find out the truth from his father's family and make amends.

How is his lineage fvcked? Why didn't the father's people reach out right from when he was little? Op said they fought the mother cos of property which is typical of igbo people, why didn't they show up for their brother's wife and kids after he died instead of fighting for what doesnt belong to them? Isn't that a classic case of pure evil?

Stenewiser:
people like you dies two weeks into marriage, because of your adopted mentality.

You will not even get married.
Smelly mouth

idahme:
How did you know his father's people are wicked when you haven't even met any once? You just swallow stories hook line and sinker.

See nonsense talk, what is she supposed to do? She should disagree with them and go on investigative journalism on issues that doesnt concern her

JovialJune:



How is his lineage fvcked? Why didn't the father's people reach out right from when he was little? Op said they fought the mother cos of property which is typical of igbo people, why didn't they show up for their brother's wife and kids when he died instead of fighting for what doesnt belong to them? Isn't that a classic case of pure evil?

....Can you pls show me where the op said they fought his mother because of property?

Mood11:

You will not even get married.
Smelly mouth

Mr idiot, pls help me advice the op that her husband to be should contact is paternal family and give them all the necessary items needed before proceeding with anything, traditional marriage is more than wearing native attire and dancing, the real marriage is done by the family elders. let him contact them, settle them before anything. He can then seeks permission to adopt anybody to sit as his father on the event, if not what killed his father will come for him. stop forming new era everyone has a root. give unto ceaser what belongs ceaser.

There are many Igbos completely lost in Lagos.
Many have decided to live on their own
If that's what you want
Kukuma marry like that
Go your way.

Stenewiser:
Mr idiot, pls help me advice the op that her husband to be should contact is paternal family and give them all the necessary items needed before proceeding with anything, traditional marriage is more than wearing native attire and dancing, the real marriage is done by the family elders. let him contact them, settle them before anything. He can then seeks permission to adopt anybody to sit as his father on the event, if not what killed his father will come for him. stop forming new era everyone has a root. give unto ceaser what belongs ceaser.

..... You dey mind them?

They think the father of his wife to be is a fool.Lol.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Can you pls show me where the op said they fought his mother because of property?

NLbabygirl:


He’s not foolish and he didn’t decide to distance himself
He lost his dad when he was young and he’s mom isn’t Igbo. He’s father family is just wicked and only care about property.

You resident nl males always claim to be the logical specie, but everytime you dish out comments without clear cut unbiased thinking.

Stenewiser:
Mr idiot, pls help me advice the op that her husband to be should contact is paternal family and give them all the necessary items needed before proceeding with anything, traditional marriage is more than wearing native attire and dancing, the real marriage is done by the family elders. let him contact them, settle them before anything. He can then seeks permission to adopt anybody to sit as his father on the event, if not what killed his father will come for him. stop forming new era everyone has a root. give unto ceaser what belongs ceaser.

And if he doesnt do that what will happen? The wedding will not hold or he will not have a happy home Which is it?

JovialJune:




You resident nl males always claim to be the logical specie, but everytime you dish out comments without clear cut unbiased thinking.

....Does this mean they fought her?

The guy is a big fool if he believes in whatever his mum told him about his father's family.

Anyways,you are a woman and will definitely reason like the guys mum so I'm not surprised.

Sensible person would have gone back to his root and verify every information he heard.

But let's see how he will get married to his wife without the paternal people except he will make his maternal home his abode for life.

Religion and woke ideology can't erase tradition.

Wait,do you think this op is not worried about the whole thing? Do you think the ops father doesn't know and understand the implications if such happens?

Do you know that 8f the guys maternal people goes ahead to pay for the ops pride price without his paternal people,that the op is not yet married to him traditionally?

JovialJune:



And if he doesnt do that what will happen? The wedding will not hold or he will not have a happy home Which is it?

he will die. don't risk your life for two goats and few tubers of yams, he should take the bold step, and go meet his lineage. haha .

JovialJune:



And if he doesnt do that what will happen? The wedding will not hold or he will not have a happy home Which is it?

he will die. don't risk your life for two goats and few tubers of yams, he should take the bold step and go meet his lineage. haha .

Stenewiser:
he will die. don't risk your life for two goats and few tubers of yams, he should take the bold step and go meet his lineage. haha .

Wayray alaso, say that to orphans that have living relatives but got married without them, and living happily in their home, or you think babies dropped in orphanages dont have relatives out there? How come they are not dead? You think people are not getting married without the presence father or mothers people? how come they are not dead?

[s]

JONNYSPUTE:
....Does this mean they fought her?

The guy is a big fool if he believes in whatever his mum told him about his father's family.

Anyways,you are a woman and will definitely reason like the guys mum so I'm not surprised.

Sensible person would have gone back to his root and verify every information he heard.

But let's see how he will get married to his wife without the paternal people except he will make his maternal home his abode for life.

Religion and woke ideology can't erase tradition.

Wait,do you think this op is not worried about the whole thing? Do you think the ops father doesn't know and understand the implications if such happens?

Do you know that 8f the guys maternal people goes ahead to pay for the ops pride price without his paternal people,that the op is not yet married to him traditionally?

[/s]


Abeg go and sleep, making a mountain out of nothing, I showed you where op said their concern was property, you did not say anything about that because that shows how evil they truthfully are, instead you prefer to cast aspersions on what the mother did or didn't do and then pass a snide on women, typical nl boys devoid of logical brain capacity and sense

And yet you refuse to answer my questions, if the father's people are so nice and chewy, why didn't they keep in touch with their brother's wife and children all thus years? Like how and why will anyone do that to their own brother's kids if not that they are callous and stone cold humans who does not give a fvck about them? Now that they are grown and getting married, suddenly they matter only for name and to collect bride price, then go off the grid till the next one come along again, no be only tradition, na noitidart.