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My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? - Romance - Nairaland

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My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Sessanvandy: 7:25pm On Sep 08
Good evening Nairalanders, please i need your sincere opinion on this issue bothering me.

I have been dating this guy for 9 months and our relationship has been going well except for this issue.

My boyfriend or should i say fiancé ( he has introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and my family is in support of the relationship) has been in contact with his ex-girlfriend who is married with a son.

My man spends 1-2hrs on phone with his ex girlfriend in my presence and when i confronted him, he told me to bear in mind that he can never stop talking to her because she didn't offend him and if she needs any monetary support, he won't hesitate to help.

They have no intimate relationship maybe cus of distance, He agreed not to call her but promised to take her calls when she does and she calls frequently.

Her husband also warned him to stay away from his wife but he wouldn't listen.

He is a nice guy with a good heart and we are planning introduction by December

I told him that if he can't stop communicating with his ex girlfriend the relationship is over but he still insist on maintaining contact with her...

Pls am i overreacting, How do i handle this??....mature advice needed!

sorry for the long post.

36 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Biglittlelois(f): 7:33pm On Sep 08
You are not over reacting dear, bear it in mind that a man or woman cannot constantly talk to their married ex for hours without intimate talks and desire to see, and you and I know exactly what will happen when they set eyes on each other, pls end whatever it is you have with him and move on, knowing his family doesn't mean a thing.

666 Likes 36 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by michlins(m): 7:35pm On Sep 08
They're one step away from bedding. You have every right to be worried. Bear in mind that soon,he will start comparing you with her.

But some guys eh. Your fellow man already warned you to stay away from his wife and you no hear. Na this thing dey kill person

610 Likes 32 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by nkwuocha1: 7:37pm On Sep 08
Sessanvandy:
Good evening Nairalanders, please i need your sincere opinion on this issue bothering me.

I have been dating this guy for 9 months and our relationship has been going well except for this issue.

My boyfriend or should i say fiancé ( he has introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and my family is in support of the relationship)
has been in contact with his ex-girlfriend who is married with a son.

My man spends 1-2hrs on phone with his ex girlfriend in my presence and when i confronted him, he told me to bear in mind that he can never stop talking to her because she didn't offend him and if she needs any monetary support, he won't hesitate to help.

They have no intimate relationship maybe cus of distance, He agreed not to call her but promised to take her calls when she does and she calls frequently.

Her husband also warned him to stay away from his wife but he wouldn't listen.

He is a nice guy with a good heart and we are planning introduction by December

I told him that if he can't stop communicating with his ex girlfriend the relationship is over but he still insist on maintaining contact with her...

Pls am i overreacting, How do i handle this??....mature advice needed!

sorry for the long post.






He is not your fiance.Mere family intro doesn't equate to him being your fiance.

Redefine your relationship,then move on if you are not sure of him.

210 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by BEATNEST(f): 7:38pm On Sep 08
If he insists on maintaining contact it'll most likely end in tears

106 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by EMEKUSBOY9(m): 7:40pm On Sep 08
In your own sentence "They have no intimate relationship"

My sister do u trust him?



Anything u answer should lead to your action

31 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by ABANGWABOI(m): 7:45pm On Sep 08
#ILMOVON cry cry
#Attitude
#Bliv

You deserve better..
Even when i was a chronic womanizer then.. i don't disrespect any of my babes to their own face like this..
Totally Appalling..

219 Likes 10 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by paulolee(m): 7:46pm On Sep 08
your fiancee is very wrong on this, how would he be getting dt close to his married ex jis because he feels maybe he was the wrong person that caused the breakup..
would advise you to do something to change things fast because when he gets married to you, he may gets worst and start sleeping with her, dts if he isnt cheating now..
same case happened to a co worker but in her case, the two parties were married and what she did was that she reported to the husband of the oda lady the man fixed things up because he was a military man
he jus sent boys to her husband office and warned him to NEVER call or come close to his wife (his ex) again, seized his fones n broke then at the scene and dt was it..

86 Likes 8 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by swiz123(m): 7:49pm On Sep 08
He might have lost his girlfriend, but he didn't lose his friend.

Talking to her in your presence means that he has nothing to hide. so my dear, do away with insecurities.

47 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by AfroKnight: 7:50pm On Sep 08
Do you know what led to their break up? That knowledge might help you understand why he still contacts her and feels like he owes her or whatever.


I feel what you’re observing in him is more like “loyalty” rather than “feelings” for her.

The truth is, you know you can’t leave him. You want him. Also, if you beg him from now till next year, he won’t stop contacting her. There is something they both share that he is not about to relinquish.

If you want to marry him, better not think too much on his relationship with his ex. You say he’s a nice guy with a good heart. Have you met many single men that fit that description? They say nobody is indispensable though. You decide the truth of that.

65 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by donbachi(m): 7:53pm On Sep 08
More than disregard...dat is gross disrespect.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by olus01(m): 7:58pm On Sep 08
anty bear it or u leave the relationship before d relationshipe leave u

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by wisest10: 8:01pm On Sep 08
OP, from your last paragraph, "he is good man with a good heart"..so maybe that's his good nature you are seeing coz some women can be good to outsiders but barely show dat side to their family(am a living witness)..
But where a most concerned about is where u said he spend one to 2 hours chatting with his ex,girl u better react now or you end up quarreling with your fiance after marriage..
But after all this long talk I cant figure out how you can go about it,but OP what I can say is that use your head in this case oo..but dont overdo

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Zzor(f): 8:04pm On Sep 08
you will not run now,later it will be my husband is an unrepentant womanizer sleeping with people's wives.Husbands are not scarce,it is the sensible and responsible ones that are scarce

58 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by czarr(m): 8:11pm On Sep 08
Zzor:
you will not run now,later it will be my husband is an unrepentant womanizer sleeping with people's wives.Husbands are not scarce,it is the sensible and responsible ones that are scarce
read your last statement again and tell me if it made sense....if the sensible and responsible ones are scarce doesn't that mean husbands are scarce? eh...Einstein.

50 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Zzor(f): 8:20pm On Sep 08
czarr:
read your last statement again and tell me if it made sense....if the sensible and responsible ones are scarce doesn't that mean husbands are scarce? eh...Einstein.
it made sense but you can't decode it with your art brain, I don't know how to explain things in details.The truth is how many sensible and responsible ones do we have around these days?

39 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by MJBOLT: 8:23pm On Sep 08
why do i have this feeling that you are the side chick

12 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by tetula123(m): 8:23pm On Sep 08
Relationship wahala. Shey we go marry like this so.

4 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by J111333(m): 8:34pm On Sep 08
Oftentimes, there is that one woman a man struggles to let go of.
However, the man's level of discipline and self control will determine if he will cheat with her or not.

If you really love your man, try your best to replace that woman in his heart.

I may be wrong, just my opinion and based on my experience.

Goodluck

26 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Zzor(f): 8:41pm On Sep 08
J111333:
Oftentimes, there is that one woman a man struggles to let go of.
However, the man's level of discipline and self control will determine if he will cheat with her or not.

If you really love your man, try your best to replace that woman in his heart.

I may be wrong, just my opinion and based on my experience.

Goodluck

you are so wrong,a grown man does not change, how many times will she keep trying to be every woman in his philandering heart when she marries him.

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by catwalq(f): 9:34pm On Sep 08
Screenshot all their chats and post it online with her face and warn her to mind her family and leave your boo alone..

Relax and enjoy your man in peace grin grin

13 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by bankulizer: 9:53pm On Sep 08
May Good heart and Niceness not kill him.

5 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by LadyTianna(f): 10:07pm On Sep 08
Sessanvandy:
Good evening Nairalanders, please i need your sincere opinion on this issue bothering me.

I have been dating this guy for 9 months and our relationship has been going well except for this issue.

My boyfriend or should i say fiancé ( he has introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and my family is in support of the relationship) has been in contact with his ex-girlfriend who is married with a son.

My man spends 1-2hrs on phone with his ex girlfriend in my presence and when i confronted him, he told me to bear in mind that he can never stop talking to her because she didn't offend him and if she needs any monetary support, he won't hesitate to help.

They have no intimate relationship maybe cus of distance, He agreed not to call her but promised to take her calls when she does and she calls frequently.

Her husband also warned him to stay away from his wife but he wouldn't listen.

He is a nice guy with a good heart and we are planning introduction by December

I told him that if he can't stop communicating with his ex girlfriend the relationship is over but he still insist on maintaining contact with her...

Pls am i overreacting, How do i handle this??....mature advice needed!

sorry for the long post.





Simple solution: Start calling guys in his presence. Tell them to feel free to call you too. Talk for long periods of time with them. Make sure you smile, laugh and joke while on these calls. Your man's brain will reset smiley
If he complains, tell him they're just your friends and you didn't quarrel with them

114 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by cicodeblazzer(m): 10:49pm On Sep 08
LadyTianna:

Simple solution: Start calling guys in his presence. Tell them to feel free to call you too. Talk for long periods of time with them. Make sure you smile, laugh and joke while on these calls. Your man's brain will reset smiley
If he complains, tell him they're just your friends and you didn't quarrel with them
u are a big fool and a deceiver. Its ur type that uses your demonic advice to destroy the families and relationships of vulnerable others seeking advice. So u are advicing the op to go on war of will with her man? I was thinking u are going to tell her to stoop so low and conquer whatever the devil is trying to do to break she and her man wit gud qualitiz (THAT IS CALLED KEEPING/STICKING TO HER MAN AND SAVING HER RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE @ ALL COST....which is one quality and duty of every mature and sensible woman). The op should re-examine herself(there must be sometin she lacks which he gets when talking with the ex) and use her onions to replace the ex.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by LadyTianna(f): 11:03pm On Sep 08
cicodeblazzer:
u are a big fool and a deceiver. Its ur type that uses your demonic advice to destroy the families and relationships of vulnerable others seeking advice. So u are advicing the op to go on war of will with her man? I was thinking u are going to tell her to stoop so low and conquer whatever the devil is trying to do to break she and her man wit gud qualitiz (THAT IS CALLED KEEPING/STICKING TO HER MAN AND SAVING HER RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE @ ALL COST....which is one quality and duty of every mature and sensible woman). The op should re-examine herself(there must be sometin she lacks which he gets when talking with the ex) and use her onions to replace the ex.
Lmao you're the fool here oga
A foolish man who is eagerly blaming a woman for her man's fault. Do you lack comprehension skills? You didn't read the part where the op said she has tried talking to her man more than once? What stops the man from telling his woman the thing that the ex gives him that he enjoys so much? Even when the husband of the ex has warned him. Such a disgusting habit. Na your type go expect your wife to clean house n take care of kids while you're screwing one small girl in a hotel in the name of "keeping the peace as a woman" . Ode

133 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Brachaa(f): 11:15pm On Sep 08
angry

Excuse yourself from that relationship. For the simple fact he does not respect you, ditch him and don't ever look back.

This man is not into you otherwise he won't have any cause to be thinking about a married ex. Or have the guts to say that thrash to you. what's the point leaving with a cold heart? How will you even live happily with him knowing he's still attached to his ex without fear or regards for you. And he can even wake up one day in the future and tell you he wants to bring her in. Mehnn forget about him, this guy doesn't love you one bit.

25 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by merieam16(f): 11:27pm On Sep 08
Obviously he's still madly in love with his ex and at the other hand know that if u eventually get married to him,this is a long battle u must be ready to fight nd my dear it wont be palatable .


So for me dont undermine the power of prayers, just pray 4 God to seperate them

12 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by wittyt98(m): 11:34pm On Sep 08
why make another woman fall in love, if u still have feelings for your ex? some men are just confused in this life. sis if I'm gonna be honest with you, he's using you to pass time hoping things will get better between him and his Ex

YOU'RE JUST HIS BACK UP PLAN FOR THE SAKE OF MARRIAGE AND KIDS ONLY. NO FEELINGS INVOLVED.. "Error 404" no love found...

"ABORT MISSION" You're a QUEEN not an OPTION.... I repeat ABORT MISSION

And if you're Okay with being an Option, you still have my blessings

37 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by baralatie(m): 12:11am On Sep 09
to be involved in a battle of sanity whereby the husband of another married woman is causing fights because ones husband cannot respect his distance is not worth it.
the way you put the story makes one to think he no get your time sef

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by infogenius(m): 12:17am On Sep 09
Sessanvandy:
Good evening Nairalanders, please i need your sincere opinion on this issue bothering me.

I have been dating this guy for 9 months and our relationship has been going well except for this issue.

My boyfriend or should i say fiancé ( he has introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and my family is in support of the relationship) has been in contact with his ex-girlfriend who is married with a son.

My man spends 1-2hrs on phone with his ex girlfriend in my presence and when i confronted him, he told me to bear in mind that he can never stop talking to her because she didn't offend him and if she needs any monetary support, he won't hesitate to help.

They have no intimate relationship maybe cus of distance, He agreed not to call her but promised to take her calls when she does and she calls frequently.

Her husband also warned him to stay away from his wife but he wouldn't listen.

He is a nice guy with a good heart and we are planning introduction by December

I told him that if he can't stop communicating with his ex girlfriend the relationship is over but he still insist on maintaining contact with her...

Pls am i overreacting, How do i handle this??....mature advice needed!

sorry for the long post.


You will need to move on if he doesn't stop spending such time with a married ex.

With hindsight if you tolerate this trash from this guy, when he marries you
he will cheat on you ojukoroju (without giving a fvck) for you to do your worse.

Wise up .

17 Likes

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by czarr(m): 12:19am On Sep 09
Zzor:
it made sense but you can't decode it with your art brain, I don't know how to explain things in details.The truth is how many sensible and responsible ones do we have around these days?
Admit you are lacking in grey matter and walk away.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancé Disregards Me, How Do I Handle This? by Diamond23(f): 12:22am On Sep 09
Sessanvandy:
Good evening Nairalanders, please i need your sincere opinion on this issue bothering me.

I have been dating this guy for 9 months and our relationship has been going well except for this issue.

My boyfriend or should i say fiancé ( he has introduced me to his family as the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and my family is in support of the relationship) has been in contact with his ex-girlfriend who is married with a son.

My man spends 1-2hrs on phone with his ex girlfriend in my presence and when i confronted him, he told me to bear in mind that he can never stop talking to her because she didn't offend him and if she needs any monetary support, he won't hesitate to help.

They have no intimate relationship maybe cus of distance, He agreed not to call her but promised to take her calls when she does and she calls frequently.

Her husband also warned him to stay away from his wife but he wouldn't listen.

He is a nice guy with a good heart and we are planning introduction by December

I told him that if he can't stop communicating with his ex girlfriend the relationship is over but he still insist on maintaining contact with her...

Pls am i overreacting, How do i handle this??....mature advice needed!

sorry for the long post.





Both of you are over reacting like chemical reactions.that she is his EX doesn't mean his enemy buh he should accord u d respect when both of you r together and she calls. Thou I think he is still in love with his EX. Communication is the key dear

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