Hathor5:


The intensity with which some of you are concerned with other people's 'manliness' is disturbing.

Even if I don't like another person's parenting style, I don't question their manliness or femininity.

What is wrong with you?

It's terrible that they think that being a man means you must control and be aggressive

Mide1data:
HOLY SHIT

You know why I love the Europeans, their keyword is
MIND YR DAMN BUSINESS.

WHAT DA BLEEP IS HAPPENING

Woww. But when some of us Nigerians say 'mind your business', we're insulted as being woke. So you like white people's style now??

LikeAking:


What we Nigerians call discipline is torture and wickedness to our kids.

Nigerians know nothing about discipline.

Dont advice ur uncle, he will hate u for life.

When u go to Rome behave like a Roman.

Blend into their family.

He is a rich man from ur description, trust him he know what he is doing.


Life is all about been successful and useful, no disciplined. You get?

Thats d diff btw the poor and rich upbringing.

Poor discipline and beat their kids to be calm, respectful and quiet "Timid, Naive, clueless, gutless,etc.

Rich discipline their kids to become successful, thats the main thing.

Lol.. trust him, he knows what he is doing?
He is clueless, and obviously if there is no intervention, those children are heading for perdition ..

Goodlyhrt:
You are not God for assuming his kids will turn out bad.. Gee allow the man to be a dad.. his way.

C'mon think positively most times. Nothing is wrong with people most times, you are just worked up.

TRAIN the child the way he/she should go ....and he will not depart from it (bible Verse)
spare the rod and spoil the child.

The trend is there already ,God will not come physically to train and correct your child.

Please use your head.

Magnoliaa:


I cannot. I cannot in this case. NEVER EVER EVER. Do you know how it pains me to see that guy disparaging women and using slurs on them?? Do you??

And yet, he has the fking audacity to come here lecturing on how kids are this and that and morals and societal breakdown bla bla bla. Thunder fire him. I'm not hearing anything from him. And this thread would not even make me think better of men who have commented here. They've attacked the OP today, forming as if they are miraculously some civilised and elevated and western people who understands parenting, but tomorrow they'll go back to bonding on misogyny and defending rape and sexual assault and battery of a woman, and championing the African way.

Wash!!! Complete wash wey be mixture of Jik and Hypo. Mtcheeewww.

A mistake on my part to even be giving this thread and its participants some credits.

Sorry for your pain...

Ladyhippolyta88:

It's terrible that they think that being a man means you must control.

Very sad and damaging too. The results are visible in the way the society operates as a whole.

JackDaAlienz:
I went to my uncles home for christmas holiday and what i experienced there was dissapointing

How can a GROWN MAN not control and enforce home traning on his 4 little kids.
He always leave everything for the wife, who is overwhelmed and is not doing a good job either.

The worst part is that he will allow these kids to be awake watching tv till 12 am midnight while he will be playing video games.
If the kid misbehave, i correct them, they start crying loud and this man will always come out and defend them.
He cant command his kids to go to bed, he always beg them.
A grown man begging his kids to go to bed..
Wtfffff
And if you see how big this my incle is you will think he is ufc fighter but at home his children are the boss.

He always talks like he is smart but i feel PITY for him when these Children grow up to be mannerless cult boys, he will be scratching his head asking what did he do wrong.

Some men are not fit to be fathers
some of them are still Baby Adults that cant train their kids.

Born your own and train dem like a super woman.just a few days u condem ur uncle.

Hathor5:


My thoughts exactly.

He thinks he can program a kid like software.

Nor mind am,any parent that wants to be besties with their children will form that relationship with them from birth and not age 16 when the child is past puberty and exiting adolescence.

Imagine after being strict with your kids and forming macho you want them to open up to you when they are almost done growing up .
Sometimes being strict on children draws them away from us

Goodlyhrt:
I have learnt to never detect for adults till they ask for my advice.

There is no hard and fast rule on when to advice an adult or when not to.
Advice ain't even the word even when they seem to ask for it.
To "make aware(bring to light)" is better of.

Meaning to discuss with an adult an issue you think, if he/she is open, you too can discuss it out.
If he see sense in it he/she would act. And discussion between adult I guess should happen often. It is really a matter of interest if you want to discuss an issue with someone or not. Sometimes because it concerns you, other times because of it may benefit either of you. it is that complicated

Hathor5:


Very sad and damaging too. The results are visible in the way the society operates as a whole.

It is sad that broken adults think beating,spanking and being authoritarian with kids is a form of discipline.

The results are banditry, terrorism and the rest

motymop:
I belive you were trained well by your own parents

Take a look at all the topic you have created on nairaland, now how did you turn out after all the tough training

Almost half of your topic are about SEX.

You want to teach another man how to train his own children when you are a disaster.

lol...i don laugh die...No mind OP.

OP is a type of man that women flog on social media.
He wants to remove a spike from one of his uncle's eyes while he himself have spikes in both eyes.

I think the op is 100% right.Africa is not Europe. I am having the same issue right now.Do you that whenever my nephew and niece are not watching firms, especially cartoon is when there is no power supply. Their Dad will put firm for them from 6am and they will be watching till 2 pm .The annoying part of it is that ,their parent will be complaining that their children are not smart,intelligent and hardworking like their age mate. I hardly seeing them reading their book.I have tried to make their parent understand the implication it might cause the children in future, but is like I am wasting my time and sometimes it generate tension between us. I have mind my business because the more I put my eyes on their children, the more I get misunderstanding with their parent.But now they are trying to understand that they are spoiling these children COURTESY BY THIS BUHARI GOVT.

talktimi:
This is why people don't like family members coming for holidays in their house because wetin no concern dem go become Nairaland topic

It's easy to talk like you, I presume you have never had kids of your own yet.

I use to think I was tough till I had my own kids, Damn! That's when I realized the big difference between my own kids and other people kids

Ladyhippolyta88:


Nor mind am,any parent that wants to be besties with their children will form that relationship with them from birth and not age 16 when the child is past puberty and exiting adolescence.

Imagine after being strict with your kids and forming macho you want them to open up to you when they are almost done growing up .
Sometimes being strict on children draws them away from us

Being too strict only teaches them how to hide bad behavior. The aim must be to make them understand to differentiate between right and wrong and choose to do right even when nobody is looking. It's done with love, empathy and patience and intellectual stimulation, not control, fear and brutality.

Ladyhippolyta88:


It is sad that broken adults think beating,spanking and being authoritarian with kids is a form of discipline.

The results are banditry, terrorism and the rest

Exactly!

od501:


Free him joor, he is a SIMPle man. Probably raised by a single mother.

He is SIMPle and happy and maybe loved by his family.
You that was raised by both parents who loves you?

Na OP I blame wey carry this nonsense come nairaland dey make faceless person dey insult him uncle family.

JackDaAlienz:
I went to my uncles home for christmas holiday and what i experienced there was dissapointing

How can a GROWN MAN not control and enforce home traning on his 4 little kids.
He always leave everything for the wife, who is overwhelmed and is not doing a good job either.

The worst part is that he will allow these kids to be awake watching tv till 12 am midnight while he will be playing video games.
If the kid misbehave, i correct them, they start crying loud and this man will always come out and defend them.
He cant command his kids to go to bed, he always beg them.
A grown man begging his kids to go to bed..
Wtfffff
And if you see how big this my incle is you will think he is ufc fighter but at home his children are the boss.

He always talks like he is smart but i feel PITY for him when these Children grow up to be mannerless cult boys, he will be scratching his head asking what did he do wrong.

Some men are not fit to be fathers
some of them are still Baby Adults that cant train their kids.

I guess your uncle has stayed abroad for many years...His children are his world...no drink panadol ontop another man headache....His children will grow successful and will love their dad regardless.

brain54:

You have over indulged your son. He now takes advantage of that. He knows when he throws a tantrum you would melt to his will.
Na you go put your feet down.

Omo. The comments here are really hilarious to me sha. Everybody go dey alright las las oh. I'm sha glad 'women as the natural nurturer kinikan' are missing the missiles on this one.

Shebi women are bad ni, now that we're demanding more men become active in their children's lives, make we see watin dem go raise naa. We go see.

Pumpumking:


brother..if u waz hear in london, the will refer u to Mental psykatrick ward for stupidity & if u were in Nigeria, they wil nomaly say maybe yor head is not corrrect......the reason why everyone tink u dumb & stewwwpid is becuz how can u teach a grown man how to raise his own kid & how to behave?......u dont like wot u seee. ...u get that hell out...You aint payin his rent!!!!! ((WORDS OF WISDOM)))..no ofeinse!!

And that is why kids are carrying guns and shooting people in london.

check yourself before your hurt yourself.
i dont believe discipline is out of place for kids.

Pumpumking:


brother..if u waz hear in london, the will refer u to Mental psykatrick ward for stupidity & if u were in Nigeria, they wil nomaly say maybe yor head is not corrrect......the reason why everyone tink u dumb & stewwwpid is becuz how can u teach a grown man how to raise his own kid & how to behave?......u dont like wot u seee. ...u get that hell out...You aint payin his rent!!!!! ((WORDS OF WISDOM)))..no ofeinse!!

What you people won't allow to happen to your own children that is what you want others to experience in thier home!

Now I see why most children of this generation are nothing to write about.
Forget is how you raise your children up that will determine how far the next generation will look like.

Like i always say if you aint ready to take care of children dot bring them to this life.

Hathor5:


Being too strict only teaches them how to hide bad behavior. The aim must be to make them understand to differentiate between right and wrong and choose to do right even when nobody is looking. It's done with love, empathy and patience and intellectual stimulation, not control, fear and brutality.

Exactly

motymop:
I belive you were trained well by your own parents

Take a look at all the topic you have created on nairaland, now how did you turn out after all the tough training

Almost half of your topic are about SEX.

You want to teach another man how to train his own children when you are a disaster.

Damn!.. that guy is an idiot. What a big hypocrite he is.

brain54:
Sorry for your pain...

You don't have to apologise. I'll deal with it.

Magnoliaa:


Omo. The comments here are really hilarious to me sha. Everybody go dey alright las las oh. I'm sha glad 'women as the natural nurturer kinikan' are missing the missiles on this one.

Shebi women are bad ni, now that we're demanding more men become active in their children's lives, make we see watin dem go raise naa. We go see.

Truth to God...
I have no idea the point you are trying to make..!

oga how many kids you self get??

JackDaAlienz:
I went to my uncles home for christmas holiday and what i experienced there was dissapointing

How can a GROWN MAN not control and enforce home traning on his 4 little kids.
He always leave everything for the wife, who is overwhelmed and is not doing a good job either.

The worst part is that he will allow these kids to be awake watching tv till 12 am midnight while he will be playing video games.
If the kid misbehave, i correct them, they start crying loud and this man will always come out and defend them.
He cant command his kids to go to bed, he always beg them.
A grown man begging his kids to go to bed..
Wtfffff
And if you see how big this my incle is you will think he is ufc fighter but at home his children are the boss.

He always talks like he is smart but i feel PITY for him when these Children grow up to be mannerless cult boys, he will be scratching his head asking what did he do wrong.

Some men are not fit to be fathers
some of them are still Baby Adults that cant train their kids.

The world has gone beyond sticks and rod on a child. The intimidation and bullying we subject our children to in Africa make them to grow up and become fearful, not bold in the public.

Magnoliaa:


You don't have to apologise. I'll deal with it.

Ok...

I'm surprised many people read this and are saying OP should mind his business, for God's sake these is his family too, and they are his biz.

It's too bad that 'open eye' and modernization has made us forget that one reason why kids of olden days were well behaved is because a child was everybody's child. That way, a child got maximum discipline, even if his parents weren't around.

But these days, it's a case of don't touch my children...etc. or mind your business.
Now it has led us to where secondary school students join cults and bully.othwrs to join


Or where secondary school girls are smoking etc.
In as much as training a child is just by God's grace, we should still play our part.
OP as it seems you tried your best but it isn't good enough, just gold your peace. God knows you tried. The parents are the first authority (phyisical and spiritual) of a child. Since they won't give you permission, just do the little you can that won't bring confrontation with the parents.

They next generation of children, will survive by just the grace of God. It's well. Amen

JackDaAlienz:
I went to my uncles home for christmas holiday and what i experienced there was dissapointing

How can a GROWN MAN not control and enforce home traning on his 4 little kids.
He always leave everything for the wife, who is overwhelmed and is not doing a good job either.

The worst part is that he will allow these kids to be awake watching tv till 12 am midnight while he will be playing video games.
If the kid misbehave, i correct them, they start crying loud and this man will always come out and defend them.
He cant command his kids to go to bed, he always beg them.
A grown man begging his kids to go to bed..
Wtfffff
And if you see how big this my incle is you will think he is ufc fighter but at home his children are the boss.

He always talks like he is smart but i feel PITY for him when these Children grow up to be mannerless cult boys, he will be scratching his head asking what did he do wrong.

Some men are not fit to be fathers
some of them are still Baby Adults that cant train their kids.

While things seem this way is tied to so many things. But in asmuch as it is, you have to understand that there is no rule on how well it is to train a child. This parent are not the only determining factor for the well being of a child and this children can also learn right as they grow older too. So baba calm down first.

That said don't think he is doing the full parenting the wrong way, instead like you did up there, just point out what you think seem awkward and say it when you have the opportunity. Your uncle is doing so much right more than thousands and millions of father out there aren't doing.

So also find a way to see the good in his parenting style while you just point out what you feel is wrong. Calling out his ways as totally wrong and he is a baby is just you see everything as dark without no light in the tunnel and if it was that bad, it means there is no reason you should even bother because nothing can be done to start with.

JackDaAlienz:
Im talking about a man as a head of the house who cant contol his little kids.
As the head of the house, his kids still disobey him and he will be begging them.
This is what you people are applauding.
Spits at the weak men of this generation
No wonder women are flogging their bf for cheating. Bunch of casterated men

Eyaaa. Sorry ehn. Based on the responses of this thread, e be like say 90% of the men here are simps, as they do not see reasons with you. Perhaps if you had posted it in the redpill thread, you might have gotten the kind of responses you sought.

brain54:

Truth to God...
I have no idea the point you are trying to make..!

Okay.

You allow someone into your home in the name of family, and end up getting judged gossiped about. Well good lesson for me in the future. We move.