poiZon:

Oga 80k na big money..
Our parents earn 50naira back then and thry didnt complain much.

50naira then could buy alot na..the naira was strong then. Haba you sef

Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

May God bless you. Correct points.

Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

And she's ready?

1x2x3:


This is the case. You earn 80K and foot all the bills that exhaust your 80K in a month. You find a man that tells you to contribute just half, that means you would live more comfortably and have 40K to save....... That's a huge improvement.

I think our girls must start improving. Most don't think of being financially ready for marriage, they think being a woman automatically qualifies them.

If I contribute half of my salary for upkeep then I will still be left with nothing cos of transportation and feeding at work, my toiletries, recharging my phone and still send something to my parents.

Think about it, we all have our personal needs to take care of, it does not matter if we are married or not .

The only thing he could have done is improve his woman financial status by helping her start a side hustle, no matter how little

UyaiIncomparabl:


What sort of bickering is this? Look, I don't care what you say but I support that girl's movement that's if she hasn't moved already. This is why marriage will forever become unpalatable.

As a man, you are a provider. And curse shall be on any man who decides not to take care of his family efficiently. Who even splits bill with a woman? A sensible woman knows what and what to do. You never enforce it on her. That's the hallmark of stinginess and irresponsibility on the part of the man. A man should be able to provide for his family 100% and if he cannot, then he's not ready for marriage.

Only provider men are fit to be called men.

You're in no position to define what a man should be and should not be because you're not a man

And secondly, the lady leaving cos she doesn't want to share in the financial responsibility of the home in this era of gender equality is GOOD RIDDANCE, she's not doing him any favors getting married to him

And dude is very responsible for being thoughtful on how the finances of his home should be handled and run

DrFunmisticGlow:
I can imagine your body odor already.

No wonder people smell bad. I just thought my nose had issues

Your brain has issues

Mariangeles:




God go bless you.

You see why I said he's not yet ready to marry?
What does he even know about a woman's needs?
A pack of common sanitary pad now is about #500. I bet he doesn't know that.

Can’t a lady take care of herself?? It’s only Nigerian women that want boyfriend to buy them sanitary pads, Iphone and so much rubbish.

A sensible wife will understand she is learning how to manage resources bt a stupid one wants to live above her means already and put undue pressure in her husband and family.

The woman isn’t ready to plan for the future she only cares about now!

Simran94:

Why will you ALONE make such plans and try to force your opinion on her? Why didn't you just sit her down and plan TOGETHER? Marriage is a DUO thing and not just one person making decisions.

She has left already, you don't need all this.

Look for a lady that earns over 150k monthly and give her this budget plan.
Goodluck

He’s the man of the house. He decides what he wants and finds the suitable woman who can fit in. He’ll be blessed when he finds that woman

blaquebelle:
If she really loved you in the first place this shouldn't be an issue atall

maybe she did but I find it scary the way the poster has put this down. He sounds like a very selfish person. His type may not even marry a woman who is still a jobseeker.

This is why I bless God everyday for my husband. He had faith in me and by God’s grace he is reaping the benefit. My whole salary every month is now his savings. If I want anything I take from the money he gives me as allowance and he has not disappointed.
If you Marry a God-fearing and understanding woman who has ambitions, everything else will fall into place.
All these yam measurers I just pity the women that marry them out of desperation.

UNMARRIED AN INMATURED PEOPLE WILL BE HERE TELLING YOU NONSENSE THAT THE LADY IS BAD, SHE IS A GOLD DIGGER OR BLA BLA BLA, MARRIAGE AND FINANCIAL PLANNING DOESNT WORK THE WAY YOU JUST PAINTED IT NOW TO BE. THE RULE OF HAVING A SUUCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND HAVING A SUPPORTIVE WIFE GOES LIKE THIS. BE OPENED TO WIFE, DO NOT PURKDIVE INTO HER SALARY OR WANTING TO KNOW ABOUT HER SAVING, DO YOUR PART AS A HUSBAND BY PROVIDING THE BASIC NEEDS OF THE FAMILY, EVEN SHE IS EARNING 500K AND YOU ARE EARNING 100K, STILL ONCE IN A WHILE BUY THINGS FIR HER, THEN ONCE IN A WHILE AS WELL, TRY PRETEND YOU DONT HAVE MIBEY, THEN YOU WILL SEE HER DOING ALL THE UNIMAGINABLE, THOUGH WE HAVE SOME HEARTLESS WIVES, THOSE THAT EVEN IF THEY ARE EARNING 500K A MONTH THEY WONT EVEN DROP 10K AT HOME FOR SUPPORT, BUT GENERALLY WHEN A HUSBAND ALWAYS TREAT THE WIFE WELL, YOU DONT NEED TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES WITH YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOU SEE HER DOING THE NEEDFUL AT HOME. IS EVEN A SHAME ON YOUR PART FOR YOU TO CALL A LADY YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO AND START SHARING FINANCIAL OBLIGATION WITH, IT SHOWS YOU ARE NOT EVEN MATURED, IT SHOW THAY YOU ARE A BABY MAN, YOU ARE THE GOLD DIGGER HERE, THE YOUNG LADY DID THE BEST BY SAVING HER HEAD AND RUN AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL RISK LIKE YOU. WITH YOUR KIND OF MEN, NO LADY WILL WANT TO SPEND HER LIFE WITH A MAN LIKE YOU, BECAUSE YOUR TYPE WONT MAKE A BETTER HUSBAND, WHAT YOU SOULD HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT SHOULD HAVE BEEN, HOW DO I GET A LADY WHO CAN MANAGE WITH YOU, WHO IS NOT EXTRAVAGANT IN SPENDING ETC. AND NOT A LADY YOU SHOULD BE SHARING FINANCIAL IBLIGATION WITH. IN YOUR MIND, YOU THOUGHT YOU ARE WISE?, YOU BE MUMU, 70 YEARS OLD MAN.. EVEN THE ROAD TO....

pompeiimagnus:


really? Let me ask abeg, as a single lady don’t you make monthly financial plans and pay bills? What’s wrong with sitting down with your intended spouse and creating a financial plan for your family? You really think 300k is a lot of money today? Una funny sha

No 1, I'm not single.

No 2, my husband didn't plan my salary in my absence and impose it on me.

Finance in marriage is a whole topic (with sections)in marriage counselling. It is not something that one person will decide on his own.

And at least now he knows they are not on the same page.

Ammishaddai:
Bros, God just saved you from the greatest mistake you would have made in this life. In fact, you should go to the altar and roll yourself like 7 times for letting her leave you in peace . And my advice for you is that you still stick to this plan with the next girlfriend you have . Anyone that does not want it should go and find the nearest Simpson or ATM machine that can dispense cash and carry all the burdens of their financial problems at once

You are supporting nonsense but I won't blame you since you are not married.....

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

Omo! This planning is amazing, especially that traveling part. Come make we marry jare your gf will definitely miss out

ImaIma1:


The fact that he does something like that without her is enough to make her run.

let her keep running, she can't outrun menopause

myfantasies:
If I contribute half of my salary for upkeep then I will still be left with nothing cos of transportation and feeding at work, my toiletries, recharging my phone and still send something to my parents.

Think about it

You have to up your game. I wonder why people are blaming the man, the gf is simply not earning enough which she ought to be worried about. I hope you find something that would double or triple your income.

DEBJOCH1:
UNMARRIED AN INMATURED PEOPLE WILL BE HERE TELLING YOU NONSENSE THAT THE LADY IS BAD, SHE A GOLD DIGGER OR THAT, MARRIAGE AND FINANCIAL PLANNING DOESNT WORK THE WAY YOU JUST PAINTED IT NOW TO BE. THE RULE OF HAVING A SUUCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND A SUPPORTIVE WIFE 8S THIS. BE OPENED TO HER, DO NOT PURKDIVE INTO HER SALARY OR SAVING, DO YOUR PART AS A HUSBAND, THEN ONCE IN A WHILE PRETEND YOU DONT HAVE, THEN YOU WILL SEE HER DOING ALL THE UNIMAGINABLE, THOUGH WE HAVE SOME HEARTLESS WIVES, THOSE THAT EVEN IF THEY ARE EARNING 500K A M9NTH THEY WONT EVEN DROP 10K AT HOME FOR SUPPORT, BUT GENERALLY WHEN A HUSBAND ALWAYS TREAT THE WIFE WELL, YOU DONT NEED TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES WITH YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOU SEE HER DOING THE NEEDFUL AT HOME. IS EVEN A SHAME ON YOUR PART FOR YOU TO CALL A LADY YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO AND START SHARING FINANCIAL OBLIGATION WITH, IT SHOWS YOU ARE NOT EVEN MATURED, IT SHOW YOU AS A MAN, YOU ARE THE GOLD DIGGER THERE, THE YOUNG LADY DID THE BEST BY SAVING HER HEAD AND RUN AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL RISK LIKE YOU. WITH YOUR KIND OF MEN NO LADY WILL WANT TO SPEND HER LIFE WITH A MAN LIKE YOU, BECAUSE YOUR TYPE WONT MAKE A BETTER HUSBAND, WHAT YOU SOULD HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT DO GET A LADY WHO CAN MANAGE WITH YOU, WHO IS NOT EXTRAVAGANT IN SPENDING ETC. AND NOT A LADY YOU SHOULD BE SHARING FINANCIAL IBLUGATION WITH. I. YOUR MIND YOU THOUGHT YOU ARE WISE, YOU BE MUMU, 70 YEARS OLD MAN.. EVEN THE ROAD TO....

You are a wise man!!!!!! Thank you

I know most men will bash the lady here but with that list she won't have much left for herself or her family. That list is ridiculous.

Sent87:
I love that your girlfriend,thank God for her life she ran away. There's a reason why men are regarded as head of the family, that's because they are meant to provide for their family, not saying your wife shouldn't contribute to the upkeep of the family, but you don't make it her responsibility like she must do it. The sooner you men realize that women were created to be pampered, the better for you. There's also a reason why God created them last. Everything was already on ground before they came. Now you don't need to wonder again why most women are wired to go after ready made men.

Women were not created to be pampered and we live in an era of GENDER EQUALITY which is championed by women, so it is not out of place to ask a woman to contribute financially to the running of the home

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

I hope you see this...don't allow some frustrated single to give you wrong advice..you are to provide for your family 100% anything your wife add is added advantage but the best part is when your wife submit her salary to you or use it for anything but you are to provide for your family alone..

IF I WERE YOU !!!! I GO CLISE MY FACE IN SHAME..... ON TOP 80K ? U R NOT ONLY WICKED BUT HEARTLESS TOO

Biggie2000:
They are always looking for who will carry all the responsibilities in the house. They don't care how you carry it, or how heavy the responsibilities are; all they care about is that the man must carry all the responsibilities in the house and must not complain. Op, you seem like someone that has lots of responsibilities to handle, even if you're single, 300k cannot carry all your responsibilities. Now, you say you want to marry, and the girl you want to marry is running away from certain financial responsibilities, don't you know that's overkill?? I pray you don't die before your time o. Either you remain single for now, while hustling to make more money or you just find another girl that is ready to make better financial plans with you and does not run from certain financial responsibilities. Most married men are in debt right now, simply because they're trying to please their wife. Several married men have committed suicide because of debt. I'm even surprised you truthfully told your girlfriend the amount you earn, are you sure she earns 80k or it's just the amount she told you?

Good question

Opeyemiextra:
This looks to me like a great deal but she would probably have her reasons.

You are an endangered specie
The kind of woman this OP deserves

PS: Reasonable people make their reasons known when necessary

Biggie2000:

That's a man disguising with a female moniker.

At this point, you're obsess with me. Wtf is your problem? How did you confirm, I am a man? Stop this nonsense, is not funny any more. Oya, if you want to confirm enter my pm. If you don't enter and confirm, jokes on you.

Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

Rubbish talk

Susily:



You're in no position to define what a man should be and should not be because you're not a man

And secondly, the lady leaving cos she doesn't want to share in the financial responsibility of the home in this era of gender equality is GOOD RIDDANCE, she's not doing him any favors getting married to him

And dude is very responsible for being thoughtful on how the finances of his home should be handled and run

Hello. As far as I am concerned, she's doing him a huge favour.

Dear OP, no wonder your EX before this one left you. Irresponsibility is a sin.

Any man who fails to provide 100% and take care of his wife and children first is an infidel and shall go to hellfire.

Ammishaddai:
[s][/s] It seems you did not read the complete story. Try doing that before coming to display ignorance

Oga I read everything.
You all wants a woman to contribute financially running the family, do you contribute in chores, will you give birth for her?
Will you take care of the kids when they start coming.
Most of you don't even know how to wash plate, how do you expect a woman to wake by 4:30am make breakfast and lunch, leave for 2ork.
Come back by 4pm.
Wash the cloth, keep the house, do school runs and still be financially responsible too.
You need a woman to take care of the home money wise what do you do domestic too?
From that 80k she will make her hair monthly too.
A pack of attachment is 2500 she needs like 2 pack, then 5k to the hair dresser, she buys her tappon, buys her clothing's out of the said 80k.
You people are so selfish here.
Out of all expenses he listed he won't even be spending upto 150k.
He have over 150k to save, what exactly does the wife save too?
Also who should be responsible for clothings?
A man's major responsibility is providing financially for the family.
Making his family comfortable.
A woman's is keeping the family, cooking, cleaning, the kids and so on.
Look I am married too, any salary from my husband's pay goes directly to my account as soon as he gets it, I buy all that is needed for the month, give account and we save the rest.
You can't marry a woman and place financial responsibility on her, the early you understand a woman should do that voluntarily and a man should do chores voluntarily the earlier for you.
Except you 2ants to run back to nairaland with, "please help me how do I solve this problem in my family?"

Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

So says the Nigerian failed mindset of parasitic relationships advocates. Abroad where most of you guys copied feminism from, married couples dialogue and split bills. Beyoncé/Jz split bills. Jz’s money is not Beyoncé s money. They are partners in progress and prosperity. These are the kind of advice that lower the life expectancy of the African man.

myfantasies:
If I contribute half of my salary for upkeep then I will still be left with nothing cos of transportation and feeding at work, my toiletries, recharging my phone and still send something to my parents.

Think about it, we all have our personal needs to take care of, it does not matter if we are married or not .

The only thing he could have done is improve his woman financial status by helping her start a side hustle, no matter how little

so Na the man wey no no go recharge him phone, and send sth his parents Na abi

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?


Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

Savage reply!

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

A woman that can't take such a sacrifice to build a home it's not worthy to be in marriage , op go and thank God , her type will leave you suffering with family expenses alone

UyaiIncomparabl:


What sort of bickering is this? Look, I don't care what you say but I support that girl's movement that's if she hasn't moved already. This is why marriage will forever become unpalatable.

As a man, you are a provider. And curse shall be on any man who decides not to take care of his family efficiently. Who even splits bill with a woman? A sensible woman knows what and what to do. You never enforce it on her. That's the hallmark of stinginess and irresponsibility on the part of the man. A man should be able to provide for his family 100% and if he cannot, then he's not ready for marriage.

Only provider men are fit to be called men.

this is the reason una girls hardly marry,na fvck Una good for

DrFunmisticGlow:
E no pain me.

I just see past the BS.

things are really hard now.i think its better they discus things instead of allowing the man to carry the whole stuff on his head like the usual saying."my money na my own and his money is our own"
Am actually learning alot from this topic.
If the lady can drop 30k from the 80k monthly to support the man, it isnt a bad idea sha.my own opinion sha.