UyaiIncomparabl:


Cheers to a lonely long life.

Resaearch has shown again and again that married men live longer and healthier life than single men.

Married men with active sex lives are less prone to prostrate cancer that single men or men with less active sex lives.

Good plan. But a few things to note.

1. Carry the burden of the vacation alone.

2. Daily items like milk, sugar etc. were listed, transportation wasn't resolved. If you are in Lagos, transport is a major cost. In Abuja it might be less serious. I am guessing you have not bought a vehicle yet.

3. Health insurance should be captured too.

People who talk are forgetful that women in the western world also work and they support their spouses.

It is greed when a woman looks at 300k as big without trying to contribute no matter how small to the marriage other than "labour room" talk.

The same labour room that ALL WOMEN have gone through and it is a natural process either you are RICH or POOR, you must suffer the same fate.

They depict themselves as victims of childbirth, well giving birth to children is a personal choice, so live with your CHOICE.

franchasng:
Hahahahaha but u can never say never oh

This one na suicide mission. Op na those type wey dey think say dem dey all knowing and wise such people dey hard to deal with.

NigeriaIsGreat:
Sir you are getting all these wrong. Education is a right and not a privilege

She was sent to school to be educated and not for economy reason

Define "education".... and what is the difference between university education which you crave and other forms of education. Una go just dey talk....anyway I'm done wichu....

Nigerians believe until uve reached university dat u never go school this believe is flawed....

Abroad most ppl don't go to university some just do college or learn a trade.....

Nyascobar1414:


Okay, the man is also working his ass off to be spending on the woman cos of family sake..

Women go see shege..
Just see the kind of men in our country now..
I hate entitled bishes

What is this one saying? Did the girl ask the guy for money or did she tell him how much he should spend from his money? You better read the post from the beginning and understand before you be jumping into incoherent conclusions.

Which women go see shege? Except the ones wey no dey work, na dem go see shege because you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary.

Biggie2000:

OK, although I don't support misogyny and misandry, but permit me to ask this question:
let's say I'm able to pay for a surrogate to birth my child, I pay for someone to cook, I pay for someone to clean the house; what then will I need a wife for? What extraordinary thing will she bring to the table?
NB: I'm not asking this question in a quarrelsome manner, but simply to have a logical conversation.

I asked this same question before I got married, I was a single mother who singlehandedly raise a fine boy, paid my rent, fed my family, started a building project and all. The question was, did I need to get married. Apparently no, if everything were about money. Money making isn't peculiar to men only, Women do too. Infact women are becoming richer by the day.

Why should I marry when I could take care of myself and my son. I did because of companionship, friendship, partnership and I wanted a real family with a special person. I went for him. It wasn't about his money. The icing on the cake now is that I don't spend my money again.

For you as a single father to 2 beautiful kids that you have trained, bringing in a correct person is your call. You aren't bringing in an empty jezebel who would scatter an already existing structure. She is bringing in friendship partnership to you and the kids and she is completing the family.

Simran94:

What is this one saying? Did the girl ask the guy for money or did she tell him how much he should spend from his money? You better read the post from the beginning and understand before you be jumping into incoherent conclusions.

Which women go see shege? Except the ones wey no dey work, na dem go see shege because you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary.

If you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary then likewise for the guy...

This takes us back to:

1. Let the man live in his own house.
2. Let the woman live in her own house.

Then they both visit themselves and stay over in each others houses some nights.... dats it.

Since everyone wants to do selfish and tough.

weaseloo:
@Poster

To make this list fair, you should know what she depends on herself already, how much she has been able to save, and how much necessary compromises she is able to make to keep a home after marriage. It should be a mutual discussion between the both of you.

The vacation funds and the education funds should be your responsibility. You should be thinking of your immediate needs and vacation should be the last of it. You have given her enough by asking her to take care of the daily food supplements.

This your list does not contain what amount you will be giving her as your wife. Even if it is 5k -10k that small amount will melt her heart and she will end up putting even more in. Most men do now know that women turn into butter when you are good to them.

She should also be looking to get a higher paying job too to support when or before having kids.

cos say I married you I should pay you..
She go follow pay for being her husband nii.

BigBashiru:


Define "education".... and what is the difference between university education which you crave and other firms of education. Una go just dey talk....anyway I'm done wichu....

Nigerians believe until uve reached university dat u never go school this believe is flawed....

Abroad most ppl don't go to university some just do college or learn a trade.....

acquiring university degree isn't synonymous to richness or making money

If you are a Man, it is expected of you to shoulder the financial responsibility provided you chose to get married. If otherwise, it is expected of you to remain single and chaste. No crime in doing that

The dick inbetween our legs isn't just for fun but RESPONSIBILITY

lavamaestro:


Based on what you wrote, it seems your ex didn't leave you just based on just this budget. It might have been your past behaviors with this topping the bottle.
I won't say I'm a feminist but one thing I have always hammered on is equality. There is no problem with you wanting to share bills but bear in mind that you are not getting married to yourself. It's not just your home, it's the both of you home. In everything, wisdom is key.
The first thing you should have done is making that list together. You seem to be someone who feels your opinions and ideas are superior to her's hence the reason you decided to sit down alone and make a list of both your futures. It's really funny you did it alone, I mean, this is coming from a guy who wants equal or at least, almost equal contribution. She was supposed to be a life partner so you should have sat down together for the list.

Secondly, with this list, it won't be a problem when you are comfortable with designated house chores for you. It shouldn't be a problem if she gives you say for instance, the duty of cleaning the house and taking the kids to school while she does everything else. Bear in mind that you will clean after yourself and wash your clothes. And after birthing the children, provision for her to get her body back in terms of money should be like an equal answer to her carrying a child for nine months and going through excruciating pains to birth it out. I mean, it's both your children. Since you want partnership, why should she be the only one in the business of losing just to bring forth a child? If you see no problem with this, then you are not a selfish person after all.

I shake my head at the generation of youth we have today. Shameful, if you ask me. Most women don't want to provide and also don't want to take care of the home and the kids. Most men want to be relieved of the burden of providing but also don't want to help out in house chores and childcare.
If everyone relegates their duties to the others, who then will do it?

I also saw your comment that you are scared of going for a lady with higher income because of how her attitude might be. Money makes one proud. It takes grace and humility to submit to anyone that earns as much or higher than you do. The lack of money was what made women of the past docile. These days, with women making it for themselves without the need to depend on a man, that respect you crave as the head of house would be hard to get. I for one will not bow or submit to a man just because he is a man if I earn a lot.
You may have lost this relationship but use it to reflect on what I said. If house chores were easy, it won't be an occupation that pays. If you can equally take in any chore given to you, then your list would make more sense. Also, if you find a woman with higher income, take the lack of submission if there is as a cup of tea that comes with it.

You are absolutely brilliant!

BigBashiru:


If you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary then likewise for the guy...

This takes us back to:

1. Let the man live in his own house.
2. Let the woman live in her own house.

Then they both visit themselves and stay over in each others houses some nights.... dats it.

Since everyone wants to do selfish and tough.

What kind of reasoning do you NL guys have?

What happened to sit your GF down and talk about your intentions to make a financial plan for your marriage and both of you should make inputs together as to how much each of you would be contributing monthly? Thereby having intensive talks on what works for each of you? Why should the guy be the only one making that kind of decision?

NigeriaIsGreat:
acquiring university degree isn't synonymous to richness or making money

If you are a Man, it is expected of you to shoulder the financial responsibility provided you chose to get married. If otherwise, it is expected of you to remain single and chaste. No crime in doing that

The dick inbetween our legs isn't just for fun but RESPONSIBILITY

You need to stop responding to that person.
He is the type that sees women as slaves for marriage

Biggie2000:

OK, although I don't support misogyny and misandry, but permit me to ask this question:
let's say I'm able to pay for a surrogate to birth my child, I pay for someone to cook, I pay for someone to clean the house; what then will I need a wife for? What extraordinary thing will she bring to the table?
NB: I'm not asking this question in a quarrelsome manner, but simply to have a logical conversation.

Then you really don't know what marriage is about. Because from what you just pointed out, you need a slave/maid as a wife. This is one of the reasons why marriages are failing

Simran94:

What is this one saying? Did the girl ask the guy for money or did she tell him how much he should spend from his money? You better read the post from the beginning and understand before you be jumping into incoherent conclusions.

Which women go see shege? Except the ones wey no dey work, na dem go see shege because you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary.

Better..
If a man makes the rule and a woman does not obey the rules.. The marriage starts crumbling..
A man look unto God a woman look unto a man.. When God say no, a man must accept the no and not do otherwise .. When a man says yes to a woman the woman must accept the yes if not, the marraige becomes a fairy tale..

Thats why the rate by which men will be marrying will really crumble, they will instead go for baby mam's.. And some women will attain menostop(menopause)..
And that when you will know who should submit to a man..
And who will meet the consequences in high demand.

levi2:


Her family na cripple, dem no dey work.

What are u even saying,?

It doesn't mean she can't assist them from time to time especially when called upon.

francisgodstime:
And the man does not have? Who even made this stupid law self

Men do too. But a man's primary responsibility is his immediate family. Everybody understands that.

francisgodstime:
And the man does not have? Who even made this stupid law self

The Bible made the law.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Nyascobar1414:


So the man wont want to look good, buy masculine stuff...transport?..

Ah tok am say this generation of females go see shege ehh

why can't you be rational in your reasoning
The lady's salary is far less lower than his, how much can you estimate his transport and masculine stuff? Subtract it from his and do same for the woman, who is at a greater loss?
How can you compare someone earning 300k and 80k ,haba!
No be matter of ' this generation' even you suppose reason am Na .
Someone no fit talk again, small thing dem go say ' generation of females...mtcheeeew

ukaface:
why can't you be rational in your reasoning
The lady's salary is far less lower than his, how much can you estimate his transport and masculine stuff? Subtract it from his and do same for the woman, who is at a greater loss?
How can you compare someone earning 300k and 80k ,haba!
No be matter of ' this generation' even you suppose reason am Na .
Someone no fit talk again, small thing dem go say ' generation of females...mtcheeeew

öhh I see. Then let her make upto 200k b4 she thinks bout marriage..
Women suppose make money b4 they think bout marriage..
But this 21st century they think its all about being a woman..

Did you know what the man went through b4 making that 300k, struggles in school,and other hustling b4 getting a job that pays such amount.. So, cos of marriage he should deny himself right of enjoying his labour all those years?

Thats why I say this marriage stuff benefit women.. A kinda business.

BigBashiru:


Nothing like both of u are not meant for each other; this is a clear case of selfishness and entitlement.... what happened to discussion and negotiation??

The vast majority of Nigerian females are looking for a rich man but what does the rich man get in return for sharing his resources with her.....

They clearly are not meant for each other if one person is not willing to discuss and negotiate, abi?

Compatibility also has to do with conflict resolution. Just because you really like someone and vibe with them does not mean you are compatible.

There are Nigerian women that will take that agreement, because once again, this is based on an individual. So, he just needs to find that someone, and let her find her own person.

If I approach the average Nigerian man, he will never accept sex before marriage, but does that mean no Nigerian man will accept it? No. Imagine I come here and start ranting about Nigerian men because of that.

Find your person, someone whose values align with yours. Na so life be.

Nyascobar1414:


öhh I see. Then let her make upto 200k b4 she thinks bout marriage..
Women suppose make money b4 they think bout marriage..
But this 21st century they think its all about being a woman..

Did you know what the man went through b4 making that 300k, struggles in school,and other hustling b4 getting a job that pays such amount.. So, cos of marriage he should deny himself right of enjoying his labour all those years?

Thats why I say this marriage stuff benefit women.. A kinda business.

Yes, women suppose make money before marriage.

Anybody wey wan marry suppose get money, but Nigerians will tell you it is not necessary.

Nyascobar1414:


Better..
If a man makes the rule and a woman does not obey the rules.. The marriage starts crumbling..
A man look unto God a woman look unto a man.. When God say no, a man must accept the no and not do otherwise .. When a man says yes to a woman the woman must accept the yes if not, the marraige becomes a fairy tale..

Thats why the rate by which men will be marrying will really crumble, they will instead go for baby mam's.. And some women will attain menostop(menopause)..
And that when you will know who should submit to a man..
And who will meet the consequences in high demand.

The fact that you even brought God into this discussion... If we are going to follow what God actually said, The MAN should be the one providing for the family(financially included) while the woman takes care of giving birth and taking care of them.

God made MAN the head of the family and as thus it is the duty of the Head to provide for the family

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

God don save your life my bro you didn’t ask too much from her. husband/wife are supposed to split bills it happens in some Europe countries.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

My father never for once Obligated my mother to contribute financially to the family. My mom still contributes money too even though sometimes he will tell her to keep her money and use it for herself. When my dad was building his second home, my mom asked him if he needed money so she could give him but my dad said no she shouldn't that he can take care of it. I know a few men who do this with their wives, they don't force them or tell them how much to drop in the family, their wives just do it at will.

I really don't know where this coercion is coming from.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Tales by moonlight.

5years from now your beauty will begin to dwindle, not a big deal. Women age like milk.. Enjoy the attention while its last

Ladycewhy:
Even if there was room for negotiation the fact that I wasn't there when the plan was made is a red flag.


These boys think only women have red flags ,oh as per say men nor many , anything thrown at her will be met with no resistance as per say she need to be Mrs by fire by force.

To think he even labelled food stuff as "heavy " and " light" hey God! nothing person nor go see for this earth.I am sure you are the type of guy that will ask her to contribute money to the things you will take to her parents during festive season

You might think you dodged a bullet, the universe might just be dodging a bullet on her behalf.



It's better this way though cos I see you as a difficult person and "tight hand" kind of guy. And between dating a gambler and a tight hand I can't place which one is the devil and the blue sea.


And as for those bitter misogynistic nitwits beating the drums for you I hope they are there when your marriage finally crashes cos I don't see you lasting in marriage no matter who you end up with if you stay on this path.

Does a man still have any business with her parent after paying her bride price...
Must he buy festive gifts to her family with his own money.. Did her parents train him?...
He should only buy gifts to his parents and the lady should buy gifts to her own parents with her own money... Thats why I say marriage benefits ladies..
But Oops, If only you are married, you will escape the generation of this men, but if not una wey be single ladies una go see shege oo.

patoski39:
baba, the best na 2 stay unmarried, get a baby mama atleast or marry whitie

Seriously. You don talk am finish

Simran94:


The fact that you even brought God into this discussion... If we are going to follow what God actually said, The MAN should be the one providing for the family(financially included) while the woman takes care of giving birth and taking care of them.

God made MAN the head of the family and as thus it is the duty of the Head to provide for the family

Yes I love that..
Provide for the family.. That means her hair, makeup and pad and all her expenses should be footed by the woman alone with her own money..
Then the man will provide for the family which is the children only..
Cos its the children that even gave them a reason to be together likewise the child is the bond that keeps them.
The woman should provide for herself and the man will provide for himself and the kids.. No problem with that... And I'll see who's gonna be pained.

Mariangeles:


So, you didn't read where he typed that the lady's salary is just 80k?

The slap is for that rubbish meme!

This lady is definitely a parasitic leach... I mean the lady in question is only contributing 30k+ per month and you spitting thrash here... If 30k is too much how much do you think is appropriate for a woman to contribute in a marriage

dmostcheerful:

Oga, my husband said it worked for his parents and so far 2yrs+ of marriage, it's working well for us.
I don't know the type of mum that raised you or the kind of female that you roll with, i am just not them.

LOL, so your husband works every month and dumps the rewards for his Hardwork into your account

Some men need serious lashing I swear.

Nyascobar1414:


Does a man still have any business with her parent after paying her bride price...
Must he buy festive gifts to her family with his own money.. Did her parents train him?...
He should only buy gifts to his parents and the lady should buy gifts to her own parents with her own money... Thats why I say marriage benefits ladies..
But Oops, If only you are married, you will escape the generation of this men, but if not una wey be single ladies una go see shege oo.

lol, shege unto say ? I am glad it is no longer the era of women being told never to return to their father's house after marriage , neither is having a child outside marriage considered sacrilegious.

Infact Ini Edo is the typical modern woman every girl who thinks marriage is not for her should emulate . Las las everybody go dey alright.

Nyascobar1414:



Yes I love that..
Provide for the family.. That means her hair, makeup and pad and all her expenses should be footed by the woman alone with her own money..
Then the man will provide for the family which is the children only..
Cos its the children that even gave them a reason to be together likewise the child is the bond that keeps them.
The woman should provide for herself and the man will provide for himself and the kids.. No problem with that... And I'll see who's gonna be pained.

This is a personal expense, the woman should foot these bills with her own money except the man wants to do that for her because we have cases of men taking care of their wives. But when it comes to the general welfare of the family, like food, rent and other expenses, the man should be in charge except the woman wants to willingly contribute.