it well dear, God will see you through, were are you based,you can teach me on 07031783728 WhatsApp, there is something i want to tell you in private.

franchasng:
lol.

Sometimes, it is friends and outsiders plus social media relationship and marriage experts that deceive married ladies into thinking divorce is the best for them

Deceive what,how many marriages have you seen to adjudge that divorce could not be the best solution even you are just assuming.

I speak from experience of what happened between my elder bro and his wife

I also speak from experience too and not everyone would await the same fate,some people are better for it others aren't that doesn't mean divorce shouldn't be an option to a marriage that is irreparable.

His wife became unruly and uncultured after she got a very high paying job. She lost herself and felt she needed something more. With the praises and accolades she was receiving online, she became an overnight celebrity and felt the best for her was to become a single mother as she bragged that she can single handedly take care of her kids without any man. I cherish my bros so much, a man of peace, a man of few words, he just kept his cool as the wife continued her MADNESS. she felt my brother would go begging her cos she was earning heavy income but he didn't. To her greatest surprise she asked for a separation, moved out of my brother's house and before she could realize it the young man moved on with his life that it became too late for her

.Their problem,nothing is too late in life she can always find her footing

So sometimes women get carried away by friends advice and from the bullshyyts the read online.

And men don't or experiences don't tell them that divorce could be an option for them right?
Abeg make we hear word in the OP's case self it was the man who filed for divorce.

you will overcome, this too will pass by Gods grace.

Op, as long as there's no threat to your life, do your best to keep the marriage.

Truth be told, it's not funny out their for most ladies that are divorced, especially those with kids and those who are struggling financially.

Another crazy situation we find too often these days is that: a good number of ladies divorce their husbands only to start dating other ladies' husbands, thereby creating problems for the wives of those men.

Op, I don't know what the problem is in your marriage, but trust me there's no marriage on earth without an issue. BE SURE that you have exhausted all available options to rescue your marriage.

I wish you all the best!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

your kids will be negatively impacted. They might take to addictions to cope.

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

The biggest scam of the century.
Fraudsters cashing out on Jesus is Lord since 1980.

Tejumola856:



Werey it’s all cruise don’t take it personal, don’t be annoyance, you sef Go and work hard. I have my own money. Waka pass

nah you come take em personal. Brother Hustle oo. Make efcc no come pick your friends and leave you behind.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

I couldn't agree less. You absolutely correct.

To be bluntly honest, it won't be easy as our population is filled with those who believe that every divorce is borne out of infidelity by the woman. Be sure that men will come to u with the mindset that u are loose and can be had for cheap. For those giving their piece here; who told you guys that the children are going to her? There may be joint custody unless either the man or lady does not possess the moral,mental or financial wherewithal to have custody of the kids.

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Remarrying with three kids in Nigeria has a probability of 1/100000.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Don't let it be finalize in the spirit...

Do you still love him? It is not just about you alone, but includes your children.

God can still save your marriage....don't let people have had already lost it advice you move on yet...

There are many battles women need to fight for their husband, because when the problem burst it will affect all.

Is any of you from a broken home?

Break the curse...fight for your marriage in Prayers alone...soak yourself in fasting and prayer of reconciliation.
God owns all the heart of men, he will touch his heart, but you need to resolve to first be women that is committed to your husband alone...be totally submissive and leave everything to God.

Your husband will come back on his kneels begging for your love. Their are powers calling on men to leave their marriages, if you don't destroy them in prayers, they will not go.

Your husband is yours in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

greggng:


How can she remarry with 3 kids ...that will worsen the kids condition. After the divorce, the should do co-parenting ..with this arrangement, the kids will ve the presence of their father around them most of the times . They might even start fucking occasionally to see if miracle will happen back in their marriage . I once met a man that divorced the wife...two years later the still Bleep each other and the kids don't even know their parents ve issue .They where still fucking untill another belle enter ..one day the kids asked their mum ...how she got pregnant since their dad doesn't always sleep in the house . I know some of you gullible people would want to know the final story ...but unfortunately I am no longer giving it for free
Una go pay for it .

Please can u tell me d full story

Even the best of marriages without Jesus is an illusion,a mirage.
Sister look for Jesus with all your heart,soul and might ; you will never regret it.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Why are you so pained about his suggestion? Yes, living for Jesus is giving yourself another chance at moving on in life. Perhaps if she had taken that step at first, she and her husband would not be in this mess.
@OP, give your life to Christ, if you are a christian, rededicate your life to serving Him. Jesus as the Potter needs a broken pottery/clay to make a beautiful vessel fit for the Master's use. Who says He cannot mend your broken marriage?

Validated:

Why are you so pained about his suggestion? Yes, living for Jesus is giving yourself another chance at moving on in life. Perhaps if she had taken that step at first, she and her husband would not be in this mess.
@OP, give your life to Christ, if you are a christian, rededicate your life to serving Him. Jesus as the Potter needs a broken pottery/clay to make a beautiful vessel fit for the Master's use. Who says He cannot mend your broken marriage?

Then let him mend it na..

Kennyxton:


He has all business. Just that you don't know Him and see Him in the right perspective.

He is even the very reason you are living.
Live for Christ Jesus and witness inner peace which is lacking in this world.

No offense

I understand you tho..it's just quite confusing..most time I do tend to question him without getting answers from him..

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

There's no issue of life that the word if God doesn't have application to.
All things created consist in so don't exclude Jesus.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Then let him mend it na..

If Jesus can raise the dead, a broken marriage is a piece of cake. Read my post again. The Master (JESUS CHRIST) needs the broken pottery/clay to make a new vessel. In this analogy, the Op is the clay that needs to totally submit to the Master. That is the first step. Then He can mend their marriage. I am not rhetoritical here, this is my hobby and I have seen many marriages restored by simply submitting to Jesus. He says, "Come to me all ye that labour and heavy burden and I will give you rest". Op, with 3 children less than 10 definitely cannot cope alone. Those children need family relationship for another 15 year minimum for the eldest and much more for the others. Who is that man that will be willing to shoulder such responsibility? It is differebt if she is a widow, worse for a divorcee.

babajeje123:

What would you say to a lady that was divorced after 8 years because she couldn't give birth? All medical tests show they were both okay

I WOULD SAY SHE WOULD HAVE WAITED STILL,ITS GOD WHO GIVES CHILDREN NOT ANY HUMAN BEING.

BUT IF SHE WAS DIVORCED BY HER HUSBAND FOR NOT HAVING KIDS FOR 8 YEARS,SHE SHOULD TAKE IT IN GOOD FATE,AND MOVE ON. BUT I KNOW SHE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE BIRTH IN GOD'S OWN TIME.
KINGS ARE NOT GIVEN BIRTH TO IN A HURRY,SHE CARRYS KIDS WITH MASSIVE DESTINY INSIDE HER

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone.

Discussing it with strangers online seemed a wise decision then. Lol.

Abegi, if you survived been single you’d survive a divorce. It will surprise you how much time you’ll gain for yourself without a spouse chasing you around. Going back in shape and becoming stylish will come easily. You can’t kill yourself, the marriage didn’t work. Life continues.

..go and ask your fellow divorce ladies... they are in a better position to tell...

dannywest:
None of those things you mentioned matters.

All that matters is your peace and mental health.

I'm meant to have filed for mine a year now but just been stalling.

Been separated over 2 years and totally over it now.

May I know the reason for separating or divorcing?
Been married for 10yrs, Thinking if marriage is worth it now?

Validated:

If Jesus can raise the dead, a broken marriage is a piece of cake. Read my post again. The Master (JESUS CHRIST) needs the broken pottery/clay to make a new vessel. In this analogy, the Op is the clay that needs to totally submit to the Master. That is the first step. Then He can mend their marriage. I am not rhetoritical here, this is my hobby and I have seen many marriages restored by simply submitting to Jesus. He says, "Come to me all ye that labour and heavy burden and I will give you rest". Op, with 3 children less than 10 definitely cannot cope alone. Those children need family relationship for another 15 year minimum for the eldest and much more for the others. Who is that man that will be willing to shoulder such responsibility? It is differebt if she is a widow, worse for a divorcee.

Thanks for your contribution..I learnt something new..

Karlzy01:

There's no issue of life that the word if God doesn't have application to.
All things created consist in so don't exclude Jesus.

Thanks tho..

Just know you can never remarry again, atleast not to a Nigerian man.

anonymous1759:



Abegi make una stop this nonsense “psychological effect“ It’s better to be fatherless than to have a useless father it’s vice versa .

Kids with both mum and sad still end up useless. Kids from a single parent still do well.
The most important is to have either a good father or mother the kids will be good.

My advice to the lady . Don’t remarry for now. If you don’t want your children to suffer.
You can remarry when they’re grown and can fend themselves.
There’s a reason God gave us 2 kidneys but only one is functioning. Madam OP you can do it alone .

Husband and wife quarrelling does not make the man a useless father.

He can be a wonderful father and still proceed with divorce.

If there is no physical abuse and fornication, I advice that you put aside your arrogance and go beg your husband .
The thing that mostly cause divorce is lack of respect by many wives for their husbands.

Angelfrost:


What are you even talking about?!!

They are getting divorced not dying! A divorced man can still be a great father if he chooses to be. The same way a married man can decide to be an absentee dad all through his marriage till the kids grow up and away from the home. Besides, widows raise amazing kids all by themselves. We have seen this severally.

Many of us think merely being married and answering father or mother means that the person is truly parenting... Lol!

By the way, a fatherly figure can be anyone who is available to mentor those kids: could be their mum's ever present male companion, brothers, grannies, etc.

that's what mothers of dysfunctional kids thought . Now they hve reared kids ppl like you can't stand. Nothing replaces biological parents ib most cases

tempex88:


It takes two to tangle. It's the husband that divorced her and not the other way.

exactly why I asked the question

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

you will surely be fine, try finding your self , give your self love .
and please follow this lady on facebook ( *olabisi Ekwueme Ajai*)

Dear Madam,

I salute your courage and my sincere wish for you right now is grace and wisdom to move on and train your children in the fear of God.

Let me share my story with you maybe that will be of little help to you and other readers.

I married my Ex at age 27 as a virgin. We met when I was invited to his church as a guest minister to train his church choir. Everything seem okay not until he suddenly resigned from his place of work (bank) without any form of explanation as to what led to his decision. For peace to reign, I stopped asking him and made up my mind to take charge of caring for the family.

Hubby became a chronic womanizer and from a church minister he became a gambler and gradually started avoiding church.

A lot really happened but what finally caused our separation was the fact that he did secret wedding with my best friend who is a widow. On the day of their wedding, I was the one that opened our house gate for hubby and when he was about driving out, he asked " What about your friend, hope you still here from her?' I replied, yes she's fine and he said I should greet her when next I hear from her not knowing he was going to wed her. Same friend whose wedding to her late husband I was the lead vocal of all the songs in the church and Reception. Her late parents and mine were good friends and we were in the same church choir for 10 years before I got married and left the church. My so called friend was the one that came to stay with me when I had my first baby because my mum was ill at that time and my then mother in-law was no more. Same friend that will wake me up late at night that we should pray, same friend that frowns at me putting on any dress or skirt below my knees did secret wedding with my hubby.

It was more painful when I got to know they lied to the church that joined them that I was late and that my children are with my mum.

Please note, I did not do any wrong to hubby even till this very moment neither did I frustrate him when he was out of job. He knows how much I earn, I was 100% faithful, I respect him a lot and I don't spend without taking permission from him despite the fact that it was my money.

I also need to mention that after my National Diploma, then hubby has a BSc and he wanted to go for his Masters. Because of limited funds, I agreed to hold on and continue working while I singlehandedly sponsored his Masters program till finish and during this period, he was also defrauding me and used my money to sponsor a lady with two kids through school.

I decided to move on with my life when I finally got to know about his secret wedding to my so called bestie. The betrayal from the two of them almost cost me my life. I cry morning, afternoon and night. I cried not because he got married but because he did it with my bestie that is like a sister. I was more shattered because they both lied I was dead. More still, I was devastated because he was out of job for many years and I have been the one caring for the family, rent, school fees, utility bills, clothing him and children's school fees leaving me to wonder where he got money to do wedding.

I attempted suicide twice because the shock was too much for me to bear and I was also concerned about what people will say knowing I was a committed sister in the church and also in my family.

Much later I decided to move on because of my children and the fact that I can't afford to hurt God. It was not easy for me but then, God proved Himself mightily in my life.

I became more dedicated to the work of God, I became EXTREMELY STRICT to men's advances and concentrated more on my children and job. I enrolled for more professional courses, went back for my BSc and Masters and today the rest is story.

Now I can look back and give glory to God Almighty for how far He has helped me. My children are doing excellently well in their studies, they have everything at their comfort and we are more than comfortable.

It was not easy I must confess especially when nature calls but I was strong willed not to disappoint God and my children. I did all I could to be a good role model to them and I don't say evil things to them about their dad despite the fact that he was not giving me a dime to fend for them till date. My second child was not up to a year when we separated and today, she is all grown and my son is now in one of the best Secondary school doing excellently well academically and moral wise.

By the grace of God, I and my children will be relocating to Canada soonest for further studies and my wedding is around the corner.

Learnt my Ex and Bestie are now divorced.

Op, key notes for you

- Move more closer to God
- Concentrate more on your children, job or business
- Mind what you do before your children, brace up to play father and mother role
- Avoid bitterness and do not speak ill of your ex to your children.
- Develop thick skin because friends, church members and associates will mock you but when they later see you succeed, all will be a thing of the past.
- Do not rush to get married again, easy does it.
- Work on past mistakes
- If you can afford it, travel out of the country with your children
- Try as much as possible to raise Godly children.

If there is still room for reconciliation between you and your hubby, please embrace peace and if not, I wish you the very best.