vickydevoka:

Lie. When he marries another wife. What do you think will happen. Unless the man is Rich

What will happen?

Benprass:


Even if you aint a Christian that doesn't mean you will write of Jesus from this situation!

Christ is not interested in making situation bad but making them good. I sense you are a Muslim or a non believe, even if you are not what I just mention allow her involve Jesus because they are some situation that is only Jesus that can fix it. It is the Spirititual that control the physical.

Who knows? The husband might not be in his right sense so with prayers and good advice things might work out.

Having a devoice in Nigeria is not a joke especially when is not in the western world.

Ok

signature2012:

In Naija,that’s the reality.You just have to over look many things and face your life.
It won’t be easy at all.Having 3 kids below age 10 will be a lot of work.
Last last,you will be fine .

Aswearugaaad

It's not a Naija thing brah. She can tour the world for all I care. No young, successful man will look at her twice except to smash.
The best she can get is older divorced men with Children but she has to compete with other women like her for them too.

Anyway you look at it, she shouldn't get her hopes up cos it's not looking good.

Madam, I'll keep it real with you: If it's still possible, do all you can to fix it with your husband cos the world's no longer your oyster. Make you no dey sing had I known at 55.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm.....no apparent shame or mockery unless you go telling the people you're divorce. Most people would assume that you are married or your husband is out of town. The issue will be when you start dating again, people that know you would wonder why you are following a guy you're not married to....they will assume you're cheating.

Biko move to another apartment, change jobs if you can, change your wardrobe, learn some new things and start afresh. Life will go on....good luck.

But you didn't tell her not to repeat whatsoever she did or what she was doing that made her husband filed for divorce

komodapson:


You sound contradictory. Go through your write up again without biases.
However, being a Single mum is not something we all should be rejoicing about, the impacts, consequences are there staring in our faces. Shouldn't be a lifestyle we should be advocating for, it must be discouraged.
In conclusion, they (single mum) still deserve a niche in Society and should be well integrated.

Ok

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Do you still want the marriage?

We can work it out if you want. Trust me

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

I honestly feel your struggles. I understand how bothered you are about your children, their future and how your life would turn out. I honestly wish I could speak with you personally.

My parents got divorced in 1996. My mom had five sons for my dad as at that time. We all turned out well despite all what they say about broken homes. As a matter of fact there was no way we would have turned out the way we did if they were together. All professionals at the top of our fields.

I hope the court makes an order of maintenance for your kids and that the arrangements would be carried out.

It would definitely be different and difficult, but I assure you, all hope is not lost. You can leave a message for me so I can speak with you.

efficiencie:


May God help you ohh. Sometimes I wonder how and why couples who were ecstatic a couple of years or weeks ago about marriage, go through the hurdles of multiple weddings and enjoy night after night of marital consummation but yet turn out to be the worst of enemies of each other later. It's amazing and mind boggling.

Nowadays when I see couples happy during their wedding day I just feel indifferent because I can guess that 2 years down the line they will start regretting that they ever met.

Pastors and clergymen that join couples in holy matrimony need to thoroughly question intending couples about their motives, hidden fantasies and desires, ambitions, beliefs, philosophies, secrets and other factors hidden at the time of wedding that could destroy the marriage. I believe divorces are rooted in or caused by matters of the past and that most couples get so carried away by the chemistry and prospects of a married life that they forget to settle the core matters that could lead to a divorce.

OP! You may need counsel from others that have experienced divorce!

It is because marriage has outlived its usefulness in the modern day society and we are not ready to face the reality. I am in a marriage already and it's less than a year old and I can tell you it's a scam. I don't see us doing a second year anniversary in this sham we call marriage. Let me give you an analysis, before marriage I a single happening guy and full of life, I had several women at my beck and call and I had a cleaner to clean my flat weekly, someone that cooks for me and deliver it to my doorstep and that's excluding the several women willing to do same function without any cost, I had someone that comes to wash my clothes every weekend and I was also able to save a considerable chunk of my 7 figure monthly pay. I have gotten married now and that situation remains unchanged except that of course I no longer have access to other women and a major part of my finance is going into taking care of another human being in the name of a wife while she's constantly saving her own money or spending it on frivolities.
Now tell me why I won't feel shortchanged and scammed in this union of fantasy called marriage that has taken everything away from me but given me nothing. The very least I should be getting is a woman to cook for me but all those basic domestic issues are still being outsourced to vendors as it was before I got married hence the woman had added no single value to my life but has taken away so much from me.
This is the very reason men are running from marriage now and if I want to advise any single man out there I'd tell him to stay away. The union called marriage is no longer relevant in today's world since women have started forming feminism and we will keep seeing more divorces once people realize they have been scammed into it by the society.

THE KIDS WILL BE FINE, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WELL RPOVIDED FOR AND THEY GET TO SEE BOTH PARENTS ON HOLIDAYS.


HOWEVER, IT IS BEST NOT TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE DIVORCE.


FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO TELL THEM, LIKE YOU GOT A NEW JOB AND HAVE TO MOVE CLOSER OR SOMETHING.

Tejumola856:


Don’t judge me by what you’re going through in your life, no be everyone is from poor background like you boss. Get sense this is 2022 catch cruise and enjoy your life, understand a joke when you see it, me comment on nairaland doesn’t mean I don’t have what to do with my life, it’s just a cruise don’t take it personal and don’t die of hypertension… I come in peace boss

hmmmmm, I like your reply, I love you bro, sorry I talked harshly, na cruise oooo, happy new year bro, this year go better for us, how Re you doing?

You will be fine dear,
just know that it is not easy because you have to be both parent at same time, you will double your hustling so that you can provide and be strong for them. If possible change environment different state from where your soon to be ex lives and enroll them to a school with a lesser tuition fees with a good teaching standard then last but not the least ensure that the court mandate him to be paying for upkeep.

Always pray for him for health, change of heart and God's guidance and protection.

Divorce is not the end of the road in my world, endeavor to ask for forgiveness ( both the one remembered and the one that you didn't remember) on or after the judgemen and make him your friend if possible.

obembet:


Do you still want the marriage?

We can work it out if you want. Trust me

NA YOUR TYPE THEY STAY MARRIAGE UNTIL THEM KILL PERSON.


BACKWARD AFRICAN MENTALITY.


MARRIAGE THEY END AND E FIT NO REACH TILL DEATH.

Seriously, nobody knows tomorrow.

It can only be in two ways, either it favors you or it doesn't favor you on the long run. What am trying to say is, you might end up getting a better man or you might end up just like some divorced women regretting their actions

One thing is certain, remember the day of konji will come and .........

But seriously, I will like to know what caused the divorce

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Watin u do tell us

God loves you and He hate divorce Malachi 2:16.

Deep down in the heart of your husband he loves you and your children but he can not compromise some basic things "RESPECT". All men are the same on this.

Why not find your way back to his heart just like the same way you started. Swallow the pride, do this for God, your children, and your dignity as a woman.

Don't go public after 3 children and be messed up, your husband is your crown and protection.

Pray, swallow the pride, call him and even beg him if possible.

I know deep down in your heart you still love him too. Disregard all those that their marriages have failed trying to welcome you to where God has not made you to belong.

" Your Home Will Not Fail" And you will have testimonies in this new year.

God bless you and your home ma.

We hope to hear your testimony soon.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

Have you spoken to her husband? Very daft and emotional Nairalanders taking sides on matters they have limited information on.

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

Who want to marry a lady with 3 kids ?
Believe me the kids will suffer if the man can’t take care of them and they will never forgive you that trust me.

Pimine:

Aswearugaaad

It's not a Naija thing brah. She can tour the world for all I care. No young, successful man will look at her twice except to smash.
The best she can get is older divorced men with Children but she has to compete with other women like her for them too.

Anyway you look at it, she shouldn't get her hopes up cos it's not looking good.

Madam, I'll keep it real with you: If it's still possible, do all you can to fix it with your husband cos the world's no longer your oyster. Make you no dey sing had I known at 55.

THIS TRASH YOU WROTE HERE IS TO WHAT END?


HOW MANY YOUNG SUCCESSFUL MEN ARE REALLY OUT THERE?


MORE LIKE YOUNG STRUGGLING MEN.


THERE IS NO COMPETITION, SHE IS A FREE AGENT AND HER KIDS ARE HER PRIORITY ALONGSIDE HER UP KEEP.


THE MAN THAT LEFT HER MAY LATER LIVE TO REGRET IT, AFTER SEEING HOW WELL SHE IS DOING.


SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS IS THE BEST REVENGE.

Kokoebapluse:
You don't tell why your husband want you guys divorce. But whatever it may be my sister leave pride aside beg your husband and ask his family to beg him.

Outside is not funny. Be a single mum is not easy. Don't follow advice from some women here, women are the enemy of women. Women don't like each other they will want you to be like them in regret. Tell me how many man ready to accept you with 3kids? Madam beg your husband and be more hard working later you won't get time to fight your husband.

Tash,if na the husband fault nkoor instead of you to advice them both to work it out,madam should beg her husband that doesn't want to be begged when he served her a divorce paper.

She doesn't necessarily need a man let her stand on her own first and change her circle you will be surprised at the number of men willing to wed a divorcee with kids that won't be in her custody alone so why then should it affect her and not the husband when they would likely get joint custody.

Amumaigwe:


Have you spoken to her husband? Very daft and emotional Nairalanders taking sides on matters they have limited information on.

Ok..

You have been given the best answer already, live for Jesus, simple, every other thing will fall into place.

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

True

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Haha

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

So being a single mother is now a virtue?

Spherical77:
And What makes you think marriage is truly for everybody Mr. Married man?

If you have this mentality of marriage is for everybody, then everybody ought to be rich na? Why must we have much more poorer people than the rich ones? Since you've made one particular institution in the society mandatory for everyone

I know you have been brainwashed. Na God go deliver you

I already knew you were going to trap yourself in the process and you just did. Going by your post, how would you take a man who stands before a group of youths and tell them not to worry much about being successful because success is not for everyone? Over to you Mr Sabinus

Evidenx:
AM MORE INTERESTED IN THE WHY....WHY DID HE SERVE YOU A DIVORCE PAPERS??
MAYBE OTHER LADIES CAN LEARN FROM IT. THANKS

What would you say to a lady that was divorced after 8 years because she couldn't give birth? All medical tests show they were both okay

ednut1:
Nothing fun there in nigeria. To find love again will be hard, when konji hold you na small boys around you go dey nack in secret . Men and woman abeg let your marriage work

This is the best words here.

Make ur marriage work.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

OP, if you are a christian, divorce is not a good option for you, even your husband.

Have you(you and your husband) explored all other options of settlement outside court?
I know, most marital issues can be resolved with understanding, humility, love and patience.

Remember that divorce comes with eternal consequence! That is what scares me about it!
This could also directly affect the children.

try and explore possible resolution outside courts. It is possible!!!

Smelling dirty ashawoh ladies too full nairaland with their smelling loose over fhucked bodies

Signum:


This is the best words here.

Make ur marriage work.

NDIARA!


THEY SERVE YOU DIVORCE PAPERS AND YOU ARE TALKING MAKE MARRIAGE WORK.


MARRAIGE THAT DID NOT WORK, WILL NOW WORK AFTER SERVING OF DIVORCE PAPERS.


OR U DEY WAIT FOR ONE PERSON TO DIE FIRST, BEFORE YOU MOVE ON? WEREY!

obiekunie01:
hmmm.

How about living for Jesus Chris? Try it and you won't regret.

Lol,you went to check out her profile

When u finally outside wedlock, you should know the right from left. It's just a pitiable situation that you have been in before you learn. You will learn and have practical experience now that you are outside. You can then start a motivational biz to advise ladies to do all within their powers to make their marriage work.