FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

You sound contradictory. Go through your write up again without biases.
However, being a Single mum is not something we all should be rejoicing about, the impacts, consequences are there staring in our faces. Shouldn't be a lifestyle we should be advocating for, it must be discouraged.
In conclusion, they (single mum) still deserve a niche in Society and should be well integrated.

Blakjewelry:

In this part the world? Devoice can be messy if the woman is not financially stable. Infact it's money that is making alot of women stuck in a sad marriage that they can't move out of. I have seen men and women going back and forth to welfare office because the man refused to take care of the children, and remember most people In Nigeria don't do court marriage.

You are absolutely right bro. Alot of women are willing to dump the ass of their husband long time ago. Sadly, they are stuck in there due to their poor finances. Women are really going through a lot in the name of marriage and they can't move out. Not because they love their husband that much or what people would say. Rather, the monetary part of it makes them remain in that messy marriage

I have them in my neighbourhood and i really feel for them. Some men cheat and rubb it to their wives face claiming she can't do nothing.

Women needs to be educated and empowered before marriage. It's very very neccesary seriously. Especially in this our naija where nothing absolutely works

HacheNoire:
You will be fine!

Trust me!

But your kids growing up without a fatherly figure, will forever have a psychological impact on them.

The brunt of divorce is bared by the kids. You and their father will be fine.

a divorced woman, especially with kids, is never fine in Africa and even in many instances in the West.

afrika:
My dear, divorce is never the best option. I have read a lot of comments here. Reasonable and unreasonable.

But truly, u would be the next vulnerable specie on ground. Friends would confuse you and temptations wud arise. Financial instability and loneliness creeps in.

In life, marriage is never a bed of roses but ability to subdue things in as much as there are no physical confrontations. Allow the man and his ego rule. Get into the blanket and tinkle that that would make him smile and give u the powers to control him.

In as much as u are not cheating on him. EMBRACE GOD ALMIGHTY. Prayers binds marriage and good attitude helps. Be that company.

I pray u guys get over it and come together. The kids are the endangered. We are not the oyibo people that do anyhow. We have a cultural background and live with it. Let's not allow wayward single or broken relationship olosho girls or women shatter our marriages.

(if u like the message, hit the Like to 1.5m)

Chai...see maturity. Biko iyam single, are you?

Myexdisturbs:

Semi illiterate your two kidneys are functional . How do I now believe the other gibberish you spilled

Qualified literate can one survive with one kidney or not? If Yes then you’re talking nonsense ,you’re the illiterate here in question.
If you can’t get the context of my message.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

MY ADVISE TO YOU IS SIMPLY TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE AND FORGET ABOUT ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE.


ALSO, DO NOT TURN YOURSELF INTO HIS BABY SITTER, EVERYBODY MUST CONTRIBUTE THEIR FAIR SHARE.


GO OUT AND GET A LIFE, IF IT IS BUSINESS TRY TO SET IT UP OR EDUCATION STUDY.


BETTER, YET YOU NOW FREE TO ENJOY ALL THOSE RELATIONSHIP OPPORTUNITY YOU PASS UP AS A MARRIED WOMAN.


BET AVOID HAVING ANY FURTHER KIDS, AS 3 IS ENOUGH.


LIVE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

alizma:

As stupid and funny you think his contribution is does not take it from the reality of life. I guess you are not married, obviously you have little knowledge on the emotional aspect of the case at hand. Since you think marriage is not for everybody, will you gladly say amen if I pray that you will remain single for life?

This your last statement shows how myopic you are. No doubt, you must have really been brainwashed to think you are way better than any single person out there. Take this from me man. Hell No! No one is better than anyone

Please wake up and stop being dellusion

GREATESTPIANIST:
Buoda Oshi Iranu, you should be dancing on achievements from solutions to makind, not FTC,, you just made a big fool of yourself sir, go and bring down that post and sit down and think, use your sense , it's 2022, don't be stup****d this year........ weakling!!!!!! Lol

Don’t judge me by what you’re going through in your life, no be everyone is from poor background like you boss. Get sense this is 2022 catch cruise and enjoy your life, understand a joke when you see it, me comment on nairaland doesn’t mean I don’t have what to do with my life, it’s just a cruise don’t take it personal and don’t die of hypertension… I come in peace boss

jornwhite:





Oga kindly speak for yourself, if naa one kidney you get but for the norm humans have two kidney n both works interchangeably, due to circumstance that people live on one kidney does not negate the fact. be guided

Humans can survive on one kidney that’s the context of my message. Having two kidneys is good . Just like having a partner but if life goes the other way round then you’ve to adjust and survive with one.
That’s a typical lesson the kidney teaches us as humans .

You will be fine my sister just take care of your kids and package your self a man that will love you more than your ex husband will come once you honest and please any man that comes your way be truth to him always tell him your intentions so if he is in you will know and if he is out you will know .There is no shame in having 3 kids and being a single mother

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

Are you in favour of the divorce or you want to explore arbitration? It's not easy being a divorcee irrespective of gender.

Do me a favor. Don't discuss their fathers negative sides with and don't call him names in your children's presence. Don't even insult him if he exhibits his negatives and advise him to do same. Give him the maximum respect you gave him while married. Let the kids be your connection and their welfare your main concern. Let him see them regularly and make sure they see him periodically.

But I believe both of you can explore settlement and I pray so.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Someone is seeking advice and you are bringing your Jesus...this is physical and needs physical solution..Jesus have no business here..

Even if you aint a Christian that doesn't mean you will write of Jesus from this situation!

Christ is not interested in making situation bad but making them good. I sense you are a Muslim or a non believe, even if you are not what I just mention allow her involve Jesus because they are some situation that is only Jesus that can fix it. It is the Spirititual that control the physical.

Who knows? The husband might not be in his right sense so with prayers and good advice things might work out.

Having a devoice in Nigeria is not a joke especially when is not in the western world.

It is very disheartening to hear that as much as you wanted the marriage, the man wants otherwise. You just have to re-program yourself to move on. It is always always good when couples have a bible believing church they attend, where when they have issues that all in-house methods cannot resolve, they meet with their pastor and counsel both parties on way forward and help resolve the issues. we cannot take the house of God away from instilling proper guidance in some homes where they seem to be going astray.

I hate hearing divorce when both parties can applicably table their matters together to each other, make a workaround and resolve it selflessly. As a woman, you have many tools at your disposal when you start noticing some derails at the point the tiding was still good. I am sure the house of God would have helped in this regard also if you both had a church you are deeply rooted in. The kids would not be happy to hear when they grow that their parents separated when both parties can put behind their interests and make things work.

Anyway, if the divorce finally happens, please give your kids a very sound moral upbringing, and talk to them about the words of God, do not paint their dad bad( as everything happens for a reason), move on, do not be shameful as divorce is not the end of life, change environment, hang out with your kids and sometimes alone, chop life, get married again if you so desire and see you cannot handle the loneliness. Enjoy!

anonymous1759:


Qualified literate can one survive with one kidney or not? If Yes then you’re talking nonsense ,you’re the illiterate here in question.
If you can’t get the context of my message.

You just changed your stance , learn to pass across the correct info. Bye

madone:
Just make sure u remarry. You will be fine . Keep urself beautiful

She have boy friend that normally help her grease her pussy before whenever her husband that wanted to divorce was not around

Spherical77:
This your last statement shows how myopic you are. No doubt, you must have really been brainwashed to think you are way better than any single person out there. Take this from me man. Hell No! No one is better than anyone

Please wake up and stop being dellusion

Mumu, where did you wake up from today, did you read the post I quote or you just want to be noticed?
You don't go about giving people advise that you aren't praying for. Why would someone tell a woman who is looking for advise on marital issues that marriage is not for everybody, If the woman think and believe so, would she be looking for advise on marriage?

Welcome to oloshosm.....
3 under 10 kids wtf.........


Them plenty for our street...4 kids , 4 dads and so on....them plenty and nah small small boys they knack them , some boys wicked sef, they knack the mother and the child join...

Me too get one sha...make I no lie



If you can still find a way to make the marriage work...try harder...try harder try harder..not 1 kid but 3 under 10 wtf.....

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Rest before you go derail this thread with your myopic mindset..tell that to her husband not her..na by force to marry?

Which one is your own. He gave his opinion how e take disturb you.

And by the way his opinion seems to be the best so far.

All the rest are just decieving the lady.

For the man to want divorce and not the lady speaks a lot about the lady.

Men dont ask for divorce unless there has been multiple marital infractions from the lady that can no longer be tolerated.

If you are not ready to play by the rules of marriage why get into it. It's that simple.

abimic:
It is very disheartening to hear that as much as you wanted the marriage, the man wants otherwise. You just have to re-program yourself to move on. It is always always good when couples have a bible believing church they attend, where when they have issues that all in-house methods cannot resolve, they meet with their pastor and counsel both parties on way forward and help resolve the issues. we cannot take the house of God away from instilling proper guidance in some homes where they seem to be going astray.

I hate hearing divorce when both parties can applicably table their matters, make a workaround and resolve it selflessly. I am sure the house of God would have helped in this regard if you both had a church you are deeply rooted in. The kids would not be happy to hear when they grow that their parents separated when both parties can put behind their interests and make things work.

[s]Anyway, if the divorce finally happens, please give your kids a very sound moral upbringing, and talk to them about the words of God, do not paint their dad bad( as everything happens for a reason), move on, do not be shameful as divorce is not the end of life, change environment, hang out with your kids and sometimes alone, chop life, get married again if you so desire and see you cannot handle the loneliness. Enjoy![/s]

THE LAST PARAGRAPH IS TRASH.


SHE SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT MAN KNOWS THAT HE WILL FULFIL HIS FAIR SHARE OF RESPONSIBILITY TO HIS CHILDREN AND MAKE FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS AS WELL AS HELP WITH CHILD MINDING.


I HATE WAYO MEN, THAT USE WOMEN AND PLAY ON THEIR KIND HEART.


NOW U SAY IT IS HER KIDS BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TURN HER TO HOUSEGIRL.



RUBBISH!

WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY WAYO MEN?


THEY ACTUALLY PLAY ON WOMEN INTELIGENCE AND TALK DOWN ON THEM.



THE RESPONSIBILITY IS 50/50.



GO AND PREACH YOUR GOD FEARING TO HER HUSBAND AND HIS MANY CONCUBINES.

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

You will be free to run your life any way you choose. No more accountability to any one, just like most today wives want it. Ladies must be liberated from this shackles called marriage. Congratulations!!!

FERNANDEZISBACK:

What shame?what mockery huh..?
Are you trying to please brainless persons or what?
Let them talk live your life..you are bothering yourself unnecessarily..
** am a single mum of **** so I see no big deal there..

Now coming to solution are the kids gonna be in your custody or his?look life as a divorced woman is quite strenuous..from stereotype to being alone to your mental health to the daft society who are always gonna criticize you..

Just get hold of yourself and wave it off..as a divorced woman I bet you gonna be more self confident.. productive and enjoy your life more..follow your passion and take care of yourself properly.. welcome to the club of unlimited merriment..

The Baddest!

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

I would have advise to try settle things amicably but for a man to serve you divorce notice, that means he has made up his mind.
From the single female parent I have related with, life ain't easy especially the emotional and financial aspect.
Alot of men will be coming to your DM now claiming to accept you with your children, believe me most just want a share of your body.
HOW I WISH IT HASN'T GOTTEN TO THIS DIVORCE STAGE, BUT THE TRUTH IS, IT IS ONLY GOD THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND MIND NOW.

There was no "divorce notice" in the vow she took on the altar....it is for better for worse.

Amumaigwe:


You will be free to run your life any way you choose. No more accountability to any one, just like most today wives want it. Ladies must be liberated from this shackles called marriage. Congratulations!!!

WE ARE THE MODERN MEN....



NA WE DEY HERE!

Sammy101111:
You will be fine my sister just take care of your kids and package your self a man that will love you more than your ex husband will come once you honest and please any man that comes your way be truth to him always tell him your intentions so if he is in you will know and if he is out you will know .There is no shame in having 3 kids and being a single mother

Lol. It's the man seeking for divorce not the woman.

You can ask the woman why the man is seeking for divorce instead. What if the man discovered that the kids were not his? Never can tell

Optimistic4life:
Year 2021 February to be precise, my husband served me a divorce notice. Though I saw it coming as we have been separated for some months.
The case is still in court though.

We are blessed with 3 kids under 10.

Soon the divorce will be finalized and we will both move on.

How easy is it adjusting to a new life as a divorced lady?

I just want to let it out as I have never discussed this with anyone. Just my immediate family members knows about it.

What is life like out there for me?

The shame, mockery, coping with kids alone, moving on etc

One thing both parties will deny in this case is EGO,
Madam you will be alright but get it straight that the kids will bare the brunt. From personal experience. If you want we can talk at length

alizma:

Mumu, where did you wake up from today, did you read the post I quote or you just want to be noticed?
You don't go about giving people advise that you aren't praying for. Why would someone tell a woman who is looking for advise on marital issues that marriage is not for everybody, If the woman think and believe so, would she be looking for advise on marriage?

And What makes you think marriage is truly for everybody Mr. Married man?

If you have this mentality of marriage is for everybody, then everybody ought to be rich na? Why must we have much more poorer people than the rich ones? Since you've made one particular institution in the society mandatory for everyone

I know you have been brainwashed. Na God go deliver you

I will like to hear the complete story from the OP. Yoruba wil say. Ise ki dede se. Something must have happen to warrant the divorce. Also, OP said they have been separated for a while before the divorce summon came up. What did she do to stop the divorce when she saw it coming? Did she explore all option seeking for peace or she too is as stubborn as my wife? Pls try n give us the full story. What really happend . A man cannot just wake up and say he is filling for divorce . I pray God will intervene.

Blackbishop:


One thing both parties will deny in this case is EGO,
Madam you will be alright but get it straight that the kids will bare the brunt. From personal experience. If you want we can talk at length

WHO WILL TELL THE KIDS NAU?


THEY CAN FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO TELL THE KIDS.


I' M MOVING CLOSER TO MY NEW JOB BUT YOU CAN STILL SEE DADDY EVERY WEEK OR MONTH.

easzypeaszy:
it can't be Oga..we men are somhw..som1 like me if I stop loving der mother n we divorced I won be free wt d kids n may not visit sef..I fit dey send money..unless d kids r undr my watch..Men most attach feelings to wht dey see not hear

If your care and love for your kids depends on the relationship with their mother then you are a shitty father.

Basher8583:


Which one is your own. He gave his opinion how e take disturb you.

And by the way his opinion seems to be the best so far.

All the rest are just decieving the lady.

For the man to want divorce and not the lady speaks a lot about the lady.

Men dont ask for divorce unless there has been multiple marital infractions from the lady that can no longer be tolerated.

If you are not ready to play by the rules of marriage why get into it. It's that simple.

Now get off..