Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,133 members, 7,814,965 topics. Date: Thursday, 02 May 2024 at 02:45 AM

My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? - Romance (9) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? (30074 Views)

Why Do Ethiopian Girls Like To Do House Girl Job In Arab Countries / What's The Biggest Red Flag You Ever Spotted At The Start Of A New Relationship? / Reasons Why Ladies Finds It Difficult To Find Husband (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Unrated900(m): 4:44pm On Jan 16, 2022
LotaTee:
Interesting that you would attribute the failure of a marriage or relationship to be the female's personal failure.You need to do better.


Trash
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Unrated900(m): 4:46pm On Jan 16, 2022
Rexology:

Lol...I understand your point,you see my dear, if you meet me in person, you will confirm that i am not a weak man. If I tell my wife to do all the house chores, she MUST do them, but to what end? why should I allow her do all the chores when I can help? and what is wrong if I wash my wife's undies if she can wash my boxers?

I assisted more at home often and often
Am not saying you are weak.
As a man we need to set our pace.
God is able happy Sunday
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Lovebliss2(f): 6:35pm On Jan 16, 2022
From all you wrote about her, I think she's good to go.
No perfect woman or man anywhere.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by angelfallz(m): 7:07pm On Jan 16, 2022
There is a banker here in my compound she goes to work before 7am
She eats breakfast and cooks her lunch which she carries with her to work.

Since when is cooking breakfast for your husband slavery? You're funny.

Xilsbridalhouse:

Yes!!!! She is working, same reason you can’t do the same. Wives are helpmates not slaves.

Who thinks about breakfast by 7:30am? You never ready to go work be that.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 9:46pm On Jan 16, 2022
angelfallz:
There is a banker here in my compound she goes to work before 7am
She eats breakfast and cooks her lunch which she carries with her to work.

Since when is cooking breakfast for your husband slavery? You're funny.

I’ll do anything for my husband, but op finding fault in this is annoying!
I actually don’t mind, but we need to be realistic here, body no be wood and if breakfast is needed, it should be cooked a night before.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by angelfallz(m): 10:59pm On Jan 16, 2022
Look, you obviously have issues with cooking breakfast that early, you also have issues with a woman cooking and doing house which you see as slavery.

If you see it as slavery that is fine. So, if you're planning to marry, ensure that your potential husband sees things in the same way that you do.

The OP doesn't know what he wants, if he does, it is obvious that his fiancee is not into cooking or doing house chores. This is a potential family problem, and it is enough grounds to not move forward with the marriage.

Xilsbridalhouse:

I’ll do anything for my husband, but op finding fault in this is annoying!
I actually don’t mind, but we need to be realistic here, body no be wood and if breakfast is needed, it should be cooked a night before.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by CassieSunshine(f): 5:54am On Jan 17, 2022
Hope you don't find it difficult to provide the necessary stuffs for the house?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by BigBashiru: 7:25am On Jan 17, 2022
Xilsbridalhouse:

Yes!!!! She is working, same reason you can’t do the same. Wives are helpmates not slaves.

Who thinks about breakfast by 7:30am? You never ready to go work be that.

I had this thread conversation with someone recently...

Look in summary if a woman wants to wake up whenever she likes to cook whenever she's hungry then she cannot be in a husband's house. She should go and rent her own flat of house where she can do as she pleases and her and her husband can visit themselves. Shekina.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 8:18am On Jan 17, 2022
angelfallz:
Look, you obviously have issues with cooking breakfast that early, you also have issues with a woman cooking and doing house which you see as slavery.

If you see it as slavery that is fine. So, if you're planning to marry, ensure that your potential husband sees things in the same way that you do.

The OP doesn't know what he wants, if he does, it is obvious that his fiancee is not into cooking or doing house chores. This is a potential family problem, and it is enough grounds to not move forward with the marriage.

Nooooo! Don’t get me wrong and you jumped into conclusions about me.
First I’m married, and one my favourite hobby not even chore is cooking and cleaning the house. My hubby can always attest to this and yes I’m also submissive though I’m not perfect as I could be stubborn at times but being a Christian, Holy Spirit speaks sense into me when I try to be stubborn or anything like that, so I’m quick to apologize.


Now, because I love cooking, doesn’t means I would want to cook that early. Most wives sleep late and still need to wake up early to prepare breakfast and go to work. Think about it, it is stressful! If I need to eat breakfast, I always prepare it a night before or just get it at an eatery. While working, I’d get back home from work, tired and exhausted, stop by at the market and happily make dinner and eat the rest in the morning or we both eat at work.
To me, it isn’t an issue unless she doesn’t have to resume work so early. Some ladies can pull this off effortlessly but not everyone and yo think there are various countless worse situations that this in some marriages, op should accept this as a flaw unless she has other terrible habits. Op himself isn’t perfect.

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by angelfallz(m): 8:52am On Jan 17, 2022
God bless your home. smiley

Xilsbridalhouse:

Nooooo! Don’t get me wrong and you jumped into conclusions about me.
First I’m married, and one my favourite hobby not even chore is cooking and cleaning the house. My hubby can always attest to this and yes I’m also submissive though I’m not perfect as I could be stubborn at times but being a Christian, Holy Spirit speaks sense into me when I try to be stubborn or anything like that, so I’m quick to apologize.


Now, because I love cooking, doesn’t means I would want to cook that early. Most wives sleep late and still need to wake up early to prepare breakfast and go to work. Think about it, it is stressful! If I need to eat breakfast, I always prepare it a night before or just get it at an eatery. While working, I’d get back home from work, tired and exhausted, stop by at the market and happily make dinner and eat the rest in the morning or we both eat at work.
To me, it isn’t an issue unless she doesn’t have to resume work so early. Some ladies can pull this off effortlessly but not everyone and yo think there are various countless worse situations that this in some marriages, op should accept this as a flaw unless she has other terrible habits. Op himself isn’t perfect.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 3:48pm On Jan 17, 2022
angelfallz:
God bless your home. smiley

Amen!!! Thanks a lot !!!

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Gabflex: 7:54pm On Jan 17, 2022
Ladyhippolyta88:


Why should it be a woman? what happened to a man helping out and doing it.

A man with your reasoning don't you think you can also kill somebody's daughter?
I have no problem fixing breakfast for myself.
From the OP's plight ehn, he is not comfy with doing it and na wetin dey make am vex.
If he cannot manage her like this now, then he should not go into the marriage.
Girl wey don dey suggest house maid even b4 marriage.
Run oooo
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divay22(f): 3:44pm On Jun 17, 2023
QuizPay

How is your marriage going?
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by valiju: 5:40pm On Jun 17, 2023
Bro I will advice you to run for your mental health I am
In a similar situation though in my own case we are married with kids but the marriage is killing me

1 Like

Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by LagBae(f): 6:23pm On Jun 17, 2023
If she leaves by 7/7:30,what time does she wake up and at what time would she make breakfast? She closes by 6pm and probably gets home around 6:30/7pm since you said her work place is close by. So as soon as she comes back from work, she enters straight into the kitchen to make dinner which might take at least 1 hour 30 mins, from Monday to Friday.

It might be tough for her too, except she gets a job where she closes earlier or you set up a business for her as you have said, where she would have time for herself and the new family you guys are about to start.
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Oluwaseunbandur: 1:35pm On Jun 18, 2023
Divay22:
QuizPay

How is your marriage going?

No relationship yet, not to talk of marriage
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divay22(f): 5:23pm On Jun 18, 2023
Oluwaseunbandur:


No relationship yet, not to talk of marriage
And how did you know that grin
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Oluwaseunbandur: 10:55pm On Jun 18, 2023
Divay22:

And how did you know that grin


Ahahahaha, I sensed it na,


But seriously I don't like relationship when I know it won't end in marriage, maybe am the one always pushing for everything to work out which I am now realizing it's a big mistake
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Oluwaseunbandur: 10:56pm On Jun 18, 2023
Divay22:
QuizPay

How is your marriage going?

Wished am married, my life would av been more better
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divay22(f): 3:28am On Jun 19, 2023
Oluwaseunbandur:



Ahahahaha, I sensed it na,


But seriously I don't like relationship when I know it won't end in marriage, maybe am the one always pushing for everything to work out which I am now realizing it's a big mistake
Don't tell me you're the OP and maybe this is just your alternate


Why not discuss with whoever you're dating... We all have a reason for dating. And again if you want marriage you should be going for whoever is ready for that also...
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Divay22(f): 3:28am On Jun 19, 2023
Oluwaseunbandur:


Wished am married, my life would av been more better
Hmmmm
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by Oluwaseunbandur: 4:44am On Jun 19, 2023
Divay22:

Don't tell me you're the OP and maybe this is just your alternate


Why not discuss with whoever you're dating... We all have a reason for dating. And again if you want marriage you should be going for whoever is ready for that also...


Am not the op and I don't av alternate account

I can't discuss marriage at the beginning of dating

Pls are u married??
Re: My fiancee Finds It Difficult To Cook & Do House Chores, Is This A Red Flag? by eedhrisademola(m): 8:16am On Jun 19, 2023
[quote author=QuizPay post=109317630]I will make this epistle to be as short as possible, forget about the grammar and focus on the content ...

undecidedIs this a red flag or not or its just what it is, or what is your take in this? undecided

My fiancee Fines it difficult to cook (though she can cook and a very good cook), I am not the type that eat outside always (I love home food), I only do such once in a while. She cooks sometimes in the evening or at night but it's a no no in the morning, I have to make my dishes for myself before going to work and house chores is even the worst. l gave her 9.9% that's how worst in terms of house chores, her excuse is "my weakness is house chores, I will try to be adjusting blablabla.

She only tidy/clean when I complain, after that she returns to former ways except if I complain again. Any time she does house chores she won't let me hear words, I did this, I did that, you don't even appreciate me.
NA WETIN SHE GO DEY ALWAYS DO AFTER U MARRY HER BE DAT O... RED FLAG!!!

(1) (2) (3) ... (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply)

Funny Things People Do All In The Name Of Love / Never Date A Woman Who Don't Find You Sexually Attractive / She Cheated, But I Still Love Her

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 38
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.