descarado:

That lady self esteem has hit rock bottom.
Depression and hatred for herself will set in.

And then intense hatred for that man. Marriage is already dead. No preaching will bring that back.

It's manageable he is caught cheating with some other ladies but prostitutes, sighs.
Guy is mentally deranged.

She is abroad, an advantage.

While I fault the man for not being discreet, I don't understand what you mean by it would have been better with "other ladies".

As if " the other ladies" will not demand some form of financial commitment from him in form of cash, trips or favours. Sex is never free, I'm sure you know that.

Or what is the definition of prostitution again?

ChiomaCa:
I'm honest with my story. And I have never for once deny him of sexual intimacy. Infact, most time I make move, almost all the time. I swear to God Almighty. I'm feeling as if I'm ugly and not good looking enough

I don't know much as I will like to in the aspect of spiritual things but I am myself coming to some realizations..... Thinking out loud, have you thought about signs and symptoms of a man who has a spirit wife? One thing is certain, demons are involved, the question is how many, and what kinds.

Amanee:
If you divorce him like he deserves now, people will say you used him to go abroad and grew wings upon getting there. God help you ma'am

So because of the rubbish people will say she shouldn't divorce him? If you ask me I'd say she should. When he realises he lost a good woman he will be the one explaining to people why she left him and asking them to beg her. There is no reason she should tolerate that nonsense.

Raalsalghul:


You still don't want to evolve with this your archaic mindset: always resorting to petty insults.

A surprise though that in year 2022, you still think polygamy is until a man marries three wives and keeps them in an apartment or a house with him.

That is polygamy. If your hypergamous wife starts following random men to meet her insatiable demands, would you still call it hypergamy or olosho?

If you want to be polygamous, do it with your full chest.

descarado:

People that don't have a feel of what a real home and family means, what do you expect. They will never understand.

It has to be their upbringing. You don’t become this morally bereft just by experiences you claim not to be personal.

ChiomaCa:
I'm not with him because of wealth. I have a company here in Nigeria and it's still functioning! My brother manage this on my behalf... Also whenver he wanna talk about his traveling out success story, he will definitely mention my mum and I

him living alone before you joined him over there is also a major factor to consider when making your final decisions...I hope you can see through my words....

Furcko:
same advice can never work for the man either you accept it or not..

It is more shameful for an African woman to divorce her husband than vice versa

You kids need to growup seriously

Who is the kid here?
You are just being ridiculous

DominusPrime:


So because of the rubbish people will say she shouldn't divorce him? If you ask me I'd say she should. When he realises he lost a good woman he will be the one explaining to people why she left him and asking them to beg her. There is no reason she should tolerate that nonsense.

You people are too angry in that country
I was just making a statement of fact, no swallow me abeg. I didn't drop any advice because I doubt op will divorce her husband with the way she's making excuses for him

LyfeJennings:


U only gave an advice ur age mate would give or say ur level of exposure. Make she divorce over something that small. smh!

Would you have referred to that serious issue as being "small" If it was the wife doing them?

pocohantas:


Hahhahahaha. Person wey marry Naija man wey never question her sanity, e no reach 27 for this whole country. By the time they are done with you, you go carry big bible and olive oil dey waka about.

What do you expect when you marry for money Why some of you don't understand the simple reason Nigerian men treat you the way they do baffles me! He who pays the piper dictates its tune!

I have the cash, you clearly come for it. The least I expect from you is loyalty and not questioning my right (as a traditional African man) to have other women. Issa simple stuff!

Ninisun:


....SMDH you lack understanding

...Ok. Ma.

Oyiboman69:
him living alone before you joined him over there is also a major factor to consider when making your final decisions...I hope you can see through my words....

No. It is who he's always been. His lifestyle.
She was just unfortunate to be scammed into it.
If she decides to stay with him, she might lose herself in trying to become what she's not, just to keep him. Which might still not happen because he might never change.
It is not up to her to change him. It is not in her power.

ChiomaCa:


I'm not a Prostitue. I said above that we are both religious. Even he's more than I do.

Instead of lamenting to Nairaland... Why don't you find out what turns him on sexually and Act like one..

Give him the full dose.. charge him also per session is need be..

I guess you are forming Mummy G.O in the other room..

Was why Oga At Top take the rescue... Backdoor..

Jman06:
What do you expect when you marry for money Why some of you don't understand the simple reason Nigerian men treat you the way they do baffles me! He who pays the piper dictates its tune!

I have the cash, you clearly come for it. The least I expect from you is loyalty and not questioning my right (as a traditional African man) to have other women. Issa simple stuff!

How much exactly do you lots have that they are marrying you for money? You in particular, how much you get? You fit give woman 100k make you no enter dry fast for 3 months. Men wey get money dey find babes to chop am. Na you ekukes wey dey off data for night no go gree person hear word. Shift jare!

pocohantas:


Marry more wives, Oga. No one is stopping you. Marry them and bring them home. There is no refusal here. This is me reminding you that the Nigerian customary law isn’t against you marrying multiple wives. MARRY THEM and quit the excuses.

I can sense some level of anger?
No need to get all emotional and personal...

His actions has nothing to do with you size or appearances, you could be Kim K and oga will still do what he is doing. The bitter truth is your husband is addicted to prostitutes and he's been hiding under the umbrella of being a religious person.

My advice try and go check yourself in the hospital and insist on a condom, you have just one life.

Lastly, he needs to see a Counselor, cause no matter how many times he gets caught and vows not, he will still do it.

pocohantas:


That is polygamy. If your hypergamous wife starts following random men to meet her insatiable demands, would you still call it hypergamy or olosho?

If you want to be polygamous, do it with your full chest.



It has to be their upbringing. You don’t become this morally bereft just by experiences you claim not to be personal.

Madam, stop looking at this Polygamy/Hypergamy stuff from a marriage perspective and what you were taught in Primary 3 social studies about a man marrying more than one wife yadi-yadi-ya. You know how the story goes.

Looking at it through the sexual lenses.

A man can have sex with about a 100 or more women if they tickle his loins regardless of if they're house girls, secretaries at the office, cleaners, side chicks or even prostitutes: the bottom line is sex even if it's anal. Shebi na the anal dey tickle am?

Even our grand fathers/ancestors you keep referencing still played outside even with the 4/5 wives they kept at home and while you advocate for the man to bring all his escapades under one roof, we both know that's not plausible.

And talking about family resources spent, won't he still spend the same on side chicks? Abi na free?

Well on the other hand, the worst his wife can do is use the man's money to keep one boy toy outside to satisfy her sexual needs: just one! Women are not built to have sex with man after man unless she's a call girl or prostitute. And I call it "revenge", "cheating back" or whatever lingo you would like to use not hypergamy or olosho.

I know this cheating in marriage stuff gets to you, but the world is not fair. Everybody go chop breakfast at one point or the other. I blame the man for not being discreet and she's free to leave whenever she deems fit.

fitinwell:


Instead of lamenting to Nairaland... Why don't you find out what turns him on sexually and Act like one..

Give him the full dose.. charge him also per session is need be..

I guess you are forming Mummy G.O in the other room..

Was why Oga At Top take the rescue... Backdoor..

At this point, I think marriage should be banned!
Make everybody dey their dey!

Raalsalghul:


Madam, stop looking at this Polygamy/Hypergamy stuff from a marriage perspective and what you were taught in Primary 3 social studies about a man marrying more than one wife yadi-yadi-ya. You know how the story goes.

Looking at it through the sexual lenses.

A man can have sex with about a 100 or more women if they tickle his loins regardless of if they're house girls, secretaries at the office, cleaners, side chicks or even prostitutes: the bottom line is sex even if it's anal. Shebi na the anal dey tickle am?

Even our grand fathers/ancestors you keep referencing still played outside even with the 4/5 wives they kept at home and while you advocate for the man to bring all his escapades under one roof, we both know that's not plausible.

And talking about family resources spent, won't he still spend the same on side chicks? Abi na free?

Well on the other hand, the worst his wife can do is use the man's money to keep one boy toy outside to satisfy her sexual needs: just one! Women are not built to have sex with man after man unless she's a call girl or prostitute. And I call it "revenge", "cheating back" or whatever lingo you would like to use not hypergamy or olosho.

I know this cheating in marriage stuff gets to you, but the world is not fair. Everybody go chop breakfast at one point or the other. I blame the man for not being discreet and she's free to leave whenever she deems fit.

I didn’t read this epistle because I know it doesn’t make sense, BUT I WOULD REITERATE THAT HAVING WILD ANAL SEX WITH PROSTITUTES IS NOT POLYGAMY. Definitely not the type you guys hail your forefathers for practicing.

pocohantas:


I didn’t read this epistle because I know it doesn’t make sense, BUT I WOULD REITERATE THAT HAVING WILD ANAL SEX WITH PROSTITUTES IS NOT POLYGAMY. Definitely not the type you guys hail your forefathers for practicing.

K!

KillIgbohoN0W:
When you were prostituting with him you didn't alert us. Now that he has dumped you for fresher prostitutes, you are complaining.

A man like that definitely married you because of all the porn styles you gave him which you no longer give in marriage.

This is why one must be true to him/herself. If you hoe around while single and attract a man that's about that life then better continue being his hoe in marriage. Any attempt to reset and become "normal" will result in this type of issue.


Be yourself at all times so that even in marriage there'll be no difference with who you attracted.

You're stupid sir. Very stupid.

StPete:
It's just sex and it's his own addiction. Either help him to fight it or just let him be. As long as he does his bit in his family. You see, to men like that, it's just sex. No feelings attached.

I know many people would reverse the case if it was the woman but women don't just have random sex, it comes with emotions. Even prostitutes catch feelings with their clients. So just let him be. Insist he use a condom with them and just free your mind about how he bleeps around. In his own time, he will stop

Lol. You think?

Stop believing that.

A lot of women have random sex. A lot.

dlox147:


I can sense some level of anger?
No need to get all emotional and personal...

With his level of addiction, he is probably fucking some of the prostitute raw already. Too late.

Understand this and know peace. The man has a problem. He can't help himself. And he certainly can't stop, not without the help of something higher than him. You shouldn't live with him like that either, both for your sake and that of your kid. It's sad. He probably genuinely loves you but he's got a problem he can't save himself from. Understand this while you make your decision for your next step.

Furcko:
guy stfu so u think the olosho on Instagram will give better advice than well meaning Nigerians seems you've never even reached airport talkmore of abroad, 70% of Nigerian women in Canada will give her badadvice, especially the divorce option..This I know for sure

Idiot. The a forum where Nigerians in Canada contribute only as to living in Canada. The owner of the handle might even be a guy, but your backward Nigerianess as already qualified the handler as a woman.

You just confirmed what my post was about about kids that have never left their villages giving advice about the society in a developed country.

Gather ur evidence intact... Divorce him..

U might contract deadly disease from him or start having health issues due to the stress n what he his putting u through.

I believe with time his brain will normalize, I told only hope it won't normalize wen his must have contracted STI.

SoapQueen:



Looooool.

Yes ooo. $160 to $220 is a lot of money for 30minute to 1 hour short time.

Even though the amount can only afford cheap ASHAWO that are on drugs.

Enugurangers:

With his level of addiction, he is probably fucking some of the prostitute raw already. Too late.

And this is the problem with cheating partners. Once married, it is usually hard for couples to adapt to protected sex. If it were that easy, most married men would use protection and women won’t be saddled with family planning.

That is why they come back with various infections and sometimes kids of other men. This is not polygamy for fck sake!

ChiomaCa:
I'm honest with my story. And I have never for once deny him of sexual intimacy. Infact, most time I make move, almost all the time. I swear to God Almighty. I'm feeling as if I'm ugly and not good looking enough

If u notice any changes in you like ur physical appearance, ur dressing, ur weight, your Tommy, ur face etc...

Work urslef out of the above mention. Do everything possible to look young n attractive again.. Do all ur best to make it work, so wen u leave u can beat ur chest that "I Try"..

ChiomaCa:
Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.

We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.

I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.

My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"

I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.

I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.

Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?

I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.

Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.

I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.

I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.

He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.

I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?

How do you dress? You said you guys are religious. He might be missing fantasies from you couz of the way you appear. I once had a beautiful gal that isn't attractive sometimes because of the way she dresses to bed. Try to understand what tickles his fantasy.

pocohantas:


And this is the problem with cheating partners. Once married, it is usually hard for couples to adapt to protected sex. If it were that easy, most married men would use protection and women won’t be saddled with family planning.

That is why they come back with various infections and sometimes kids of other men. This is not polygamy for fck sake!

This is worse than polygamy. . You only need to google leolist and narrow the search for escort maybe to Toronto or whatever city. I did not really want to believe this lady before thinking it was just another tales by moonlight on nairaland, but the amount she quoted was bang on for $160/$220 for 30min to 1hour.

With the level of addiction, It won't take long before he pulls the condom off to get his money's worth, then he brings some nasty disease home. He probably already has HEPC, and only God knows what other one he has already. The poster needs to immediately stop having unprotected sex, but luckily they have not been having sex anyway. Could be a blessing in disguise for OP.

ChiomaCa:
I'm honest with my story. And I have never for once deny him of sexual intimacy. Infact, most time I make move, almost all the time. I swear to God Almighty. I'm feeling as if I'm ugly and not good looking enough

maybe he respects you so much he can't propose his sexual fantasies to you because they are too weird and abnormal, take the anal sex for example...would you have agreed to it?

The truth is that he need deliverance ma

ChiomaCa:
Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.

We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.

I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.

My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"

I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.

I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.

Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?

I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.

Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.

I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.

I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.

He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.

I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?