Blixon:

She said that’s what they told her to tell me. She doesn’t have a clue either.

Anything outside the list na job.

Lol...when my sister wanted to get married... Our inlaws were doubting if we are really from Anambra . The Dad of the boy had to go to our village secretly to confirm if we are really from the so called village... They were shocked when my Dad said the bride price was just to take care of my sister .

doctor306:
The only compulsory pay is the bride price the rest depends on your level of craze “list inclusive “

I like rugged niggas...
But bros hope u didn't hang your shoulders high when u first visited?
Is she from Mbano/Mbaise?

AutoChick4U:
I understand but you sef go carry princess. So does that make you a prince?

Even the Oba of Benin Daughters in all their rich historial culture and popularity are married off cheap, ma'am

na to be Prince i go take feed Family?

traditional marraige would have been sweet if not for those greedy in-laws in Nigeria

they didnt trained my Wife all through her academics and career, they didnt even spend a dime or asissted her Mum, but when its time to collect dowry, thats when my ears were shot with "OUR DAUGHTER IS A PRINCESS"

Even my Wife was okay with my decision not to entertain their calls.

during the marraige when news got to my Wife that i couldnt meet up with the other requirements and my Father and i were fed up and preparing to go home of which my in laws cared less (that is before my uncles intervained) she started crying bitterly she even mess up her makeup, these same in laws rebuked her. Ada 4 dat matter

Thank God for my Uncles that day.

AutoChick4U:
Even if ugly, shey less attractive people don't deserve spouses? 9ja

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, it's not an outward Display,

so your pictures my dear

No Igbo traditional marriage is expensive or scary. Nah how you want am, you go get am. No parents want to keep their daughter with them forever

Romanoff:
They should be able to negotiate it.

Like those money in the envelope, e no spos be big money, at least between 1k to 5k or they eliminate it totally.

If you're not okay with the list, please tell them you can't afford it.

Don't agree only to treat them like beggars like some people are suggesting.

Them no use gun force you to bring all those things.

Why should he not treat them like beggars?

Where is their conscience?

If someone didn't treat you as family?

Why should you bend over to accommodate them?

Free advice any family who loves their daughter and wants them to have a happy marriage will not see marriage as poverty alleviation program and if that woman truly loves you she will kick against it I am ibo and I have married sisters and I collected nothing in the list it’s not a taboo families do it so my friend walk away from this marriage if you no you not buoyant cause you are about to carry two families on your head

Vondata:
U r getting married to a hungry family, better do the ones u can do, if they insist, u quit

Please, how old are you?
This your advice is childish o

No

Am from enugu and this is the strangest thing I've ever heard in my life. I collected just N10 out of the 30k our in laws brought for my sisters bride price and gave them back N29,990 because I wasn't selling my sister. Negotiate with them to eliminate it completely.

advanceDNA:


This is the first time you are hearing an Igbo family is exploiting the man that wants to marry their daughter?? Na so!!

My brother married an Igbo woman ...

After collecting 1million naira bride price, and all the usual yam, oil, holandis and the so on..
they told my brother to paint their house, buy new sowing machine for the tailor mum, give the brothers and sisters money in envelop.

That ddnt even pain us.. what was irritating was they came to their own daughters wedding like an invited outsider....

They didn't cook anything or arrange drinks for their guest, yet they nearly invited the whole village, including Catholic Church members in that area...see crowd like judgement day....

They asked for everything, I mean everything...

.from water to coke, to toothpick, and serviette paper ...and still add the effrontery to complain that my mum could not transfer cooler of food to them to serve themselves

On the traditional wedding day, one guy came to stop the wedding saying he took care of the girl when the father was sick and incapacitated ... that he will collect a whole goat before the ceremony will continue...we begged him to collect the cash equivalent and he demanded for 18k....

I have never seen anything like that before.. it was horrible..

All my 5 sisters are married nd no one asked thm husbands to do extra things other thn wat was on list... my sisters, were all graduates nd working class too before they got married..

Marrying from a greedy family, might be the main cause of wat ur brother went through.

Blixon:
Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

I once saw something like this when one of my friend went to marry at Ifitedunu in anambra state, there asked us to give the family members money in an envelope,I have to rush out and get the envelope and we just put #200 note in about 10 of it and gave the once in front, that was just how we solved that requirement.

DarkJeddi:
Why should he not treat them like beggars?

Where is their conscience?

If someone didn't treat you as family?

Why should you bend over to accommodate them?

Let him leave their daughter for them.

No be by force.

AutoChick4U:
Na that one we go chop?

money go come. Have faith. Call me on 090...7643...6513

Love u

Blixon:
Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

Anything not on that list is non mandatory. Ensure you get everything on the list and any few items of your choice verbally said.

iHart:
Its not normal but... In my own case, I used wrapper and wine to give invitation card to all my aunties and uncles respectively, both paternal and maternal. It's not a culture in my place but its a way of telling them that you are getting married. All my cousins from my maternal side brought wrapper to my mum to inform and invite her their wedding. I learnt it from there.

Hmmm!!! Which state and village are you from? Our first daughter was a full staff in one of the first three banks in Nigeria, her leave was once in the UK (they pay her when she go on leave), she receives 13th month salary, house loan, car loan, P4P etc but my father ensured that the husband didn't spent upto 200k, her bride price was 25 naira. That was in 2008. My dad made it clear to our in-laws that he didn't sell his daughter.

Also, my brother married from Mbaise, Imo state ( the most costliest place to marry in Igbo). The young lady was in NYC when my brother did the introduction and she came back for the traditional and White wedding, we didn't spend more than 500k in everything.

The father of the lady and her family decides whether they would sell their daughter or not. I ask again, which village are you from in Igbo?

Ekeeyhandsome:
Lol this is ridiculous..
First, u need to tell us which part in igboland, hopefully someone from there will give us an insight about the traditions there.

I am igbo from Anambra nd this is my first time hearing about this whole nonsense..

To be honest, once this information isn't included, I see it as clickbait.

AutoChick4U:
Dont worry I'll call you. Hope you fine o so it can compliment my not too fine self?

baby....wat is this? Na now u don leave me follow anoda ma?/


Teeeearssss!!!!!

bmdmix11:
if u can't afford it just tell ur wife to b if they say that's d tradition, say u hear put d list for cupboard n b doing free banging till she carry belly or they get tired of waiting

I'm having similar case , but my finance say she be virgin...so no banging

babteehaulage:


I'm having similar case , but my finance say she be virgin...so no banging

carry go hospital make d nursing mother confirm am

osuofia2:

PUT 100 NAIRA IN EACH OF THE ENVELOPE

This got me going gaga, and let him not forget to make it 20pieces of mint ₦5 notes. And for the wrappers make he offer them 1 or 2 yards at most each.

Maobichek:


Hmmm!!! Which state and village are you from? Our first daughter was a full staff in one of the first three banks in Nigeria, her leave was once in the UK (they pay her when she go on leave), she receives 13th month salary, house loan, car loan, P4P etc but my father ensured that the husband didn't spent upto 200k, her bride price was 25 naira. That was in 2008. My dad made it clear to our in-laws that he didn't sell his daughter.

Also, my brother married from Mbaise, Imo state ( the most costliest place to marry in Igbo). The young lady was in NYC when my brother did the introduction and she came back for the traditional and White wedding, we didn't spend more than 500k in everything.

The father of the lady and her family decides whether they would sell their daughter or not. I ask again, which village are you from in Igbo?

You want to use your family who is rich and also married from rich homes and are probably conservative to compare with people that are just doing okay and not conservative but also looking for means to suck people dry financially. Don't act like these things don't happen even if OP might have exaggerated it(not sure of though).

Nezzjnr:
Lol...when my sister wanted to get married... Our inlaws were doubting if we are really from Anambra . The Dad of the boy had to go to our village secretly to confirm if we are really from the so called village... They were shocked when my Dad said the bride price was just to take care of my sister .

Hey future in-law, do you still have a sister, I am asking for myself.

Me I'm not surprised, that's how igbo marriage is. I'm from cross river state, my elder bro spent lots of money like that. The woman family dont even try to even do nonsense. Becus he is a no nonsense lawyer self. So just go in accordance with the tradition but don't always play quiet one. Or else there take you for granted

If I am not mistaking, it's not far from Ndi be Hope.

Maobichek:


Hmmm!!! Which state and village are you from? Our first daughter was a full staff in one of the first three banks in Nigeria, her leave was once in the UK (they pay her when she go on leave), she receives 13th month salary, house loan, car loan, P4P etc but my father ensured that the husband didn't spent upto 200k, her bride price was 25 naira. That was in 2008. My dad made it clear to our in-laws that he didn't sell his daughter.

Also, my brother married from Mbaise, Imo state ( the most costliest place to marry in Igbo). The young lady was in NYC when my brother did the introduction and she came back for the traditional and White wedding, we didn't spend more than 500k in everything.

The father of the lady and her family decides whether they would sell their daughter or not. I ask again, which village are you from in Igbo?

Funny thing is, the day I went to collect list was the day I married my wife. It turned out the list was small and I wondered why I will come back again to do things in the list. So I went ahead to clear the list. The only reason I came back the second time was because of the women's list. I couldn't monetize it, so I came back a second time to bring the items. Its in Imo State.

I took wine and wrapper because the children of my maternal uncles and aunties brought wrapper to my mum. I then extended it to my in-laws. How many are they kwanu? I spent three wrappers and five wines. It wasn't a big deal.

Romanoff:


Let him leave their daughter for them.

No be by force.

That's his choice..

HE can choose to pay the EXTORTION..

It's also his choice what he chooses to do after being EXTORTED..

CAN'T it your cake and have it..

This is greed discuss with ur wife you guys should cut ur coat according to your material! Rubbish tradition that's not useful �

All these hungry in-laws. I can't imagine myself making any demands from ever wishes to marry any of my Everly beautiful sisters. Only thing for me would be that you treat her well and able to provide. No need to complicate this life. As if they will be set up for life after that envelope. Hunger bad

Blixon:
Please my Igbo brothers and sisters,

Help me answer this.

I went with my friend to collect list from my prospective in-laws last weekend..

I am fine with the list though heavily loaded already, but now the family are saying that that’s not all, that I will also bring wine and money in envelope for all her brothers, they are seven in number, same for all her paternal uncles and wrappers for her paternal aunts, they called it something in Igbo “to marry for someone”.

Please is this supposed to be so? I am not very knowledgeable about the culture, help me here pls. What custom is this? I don’t understand why I have to marry for anyone else or buy wine for every sibling, uncle and aunt.

The Diokpara’s own is already stated in the list so why asking to do another one for the same diokpara again including the siblings and uncles and aunts.

I think you should raise your concerns with your fiancé. There should room for negotiations.

advanceDNA:


This is the first time you are hearing an Igbo family is exploiting the man that wants to marry their daughter?? Na so!!

My brother married an Igbo woman ...

After collecting 1million naira bride price, and all the usual yam, oil, holandis and the so on..
they told my brother to paint their house, buy new sowing machine for the tailor mum, give the brothers and sisters money in envelop.

That ddnt even pain us.. what was irritating was they came to their own daughters wedding like an invited outsider....

They didn't cook anything or arrange drinks for their guest, yet they nearly invited the whole village, including Catholic Church members in that area...see crowd like judgement day....

They asked for everything, I mean everything...

.from water to coke, to toothpick, and serviette paper ...and still add the effrontery to complain that my mum could not transfer cooler of food to them to serve themselves

On the traditional wedding day, one guy came to stop the wedding saying he took care of the girl when the father was sick and incapacitated ... that he will collect a whole goat before the ceremony will continue...we begged him to collect the cash equivalent and he demanded for 18k....

I have never seen anything like that before.. it was horrible..

I know a man who was billed like that by his wife's family. The man who resides in Lagos calmly paid everything, married the lady, took her back to Lagos and barred her from ever visiting home.

In his defense, since the in-laws decided to 'sell' their daughter to him, he has decided to exercise a master control over her.

As of 9 years into their marriage, the lady had not set eyes on her family members. Just calls. And they dare not request to visit her in Lagos.