Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Play the MIRROR EFFECT

Lizzyolatunjs:

No I haven't because I dont want him to know I saw them yet till I get varied opinions first.

take it as a challenge to control your comments/action during fights/arguments with him in the future. TAME YOUR TONGUE

Km

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Hence fort, any careless word on chat or abuse due to anger must be done on voice call so that he won't have a proof that you commited yourself in writing

He is acting to use those chats as a prove that you are naughty

So be careful not just on chats but in every thing you do with him

He is behaving like someone that is on a mission and the mission is best known to him alone

So watch out

Livadesh:


What works for you might not work for others ọgá... A wise person will be able to select good advices even if it is one good advice in a million advices. But a foolish one will be confused the more.

Balderdash

Abeg no quote me again pls

Lizzyolatunjs:
I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him.

lol. many couples especially men, do this. know this and know peace + same his chats too

Do not listen to those advice that say you should delete the pictures. It might make things get worse and then you are left to your fate.

Ask him in a polite way why he is saving the pictures. Have a polite discussion and he should be able to delete it if his intentions are good.

Lizzyolatunjs:

Hmmmm

true

miqos02:
take it as a challenge to control your comments/action during fights/arguments with him in the future. TAME YOUR TONGUE

.... Hehehe. She think say she wise?
Guy man dey rush screen shot her bad mouthing before she delete for everyone. Lol

IAMBOSS1990:

My advice may be hard for you but it will definitely solve the problem.

Tell him you saw the screenshots and apologise to him for the things you said, please don't make a case out of it. Look remorseful. He has been wrong in the past by cheating, let it go, don't let that offence stay in your heart. After apologising, beg him to delete the screenshots. Accept say marriage no easy and your own dey your hand to take care of.

Instead of that, why doesn't she just desist from verbally demoralizing her husband henceforth?

Lizzyolatunjs:

This is good. Thanks

No go do pass urself oo.just talk things out with him. Be wish

Lol....

I don't trust women bro ... You know how many ladies have dated before marrying my wife .? During dating and courtship....the signs will be there .....

Why keep records of wrong doings when you can't forgive ? The fact till old age...we will keep offending one another...but if we can tolerate and endure...we are good to go

Been married for 7 years now... Not perfect anyway ...but I haven't regret ever been married ..

Thanks for your advice anyway

OlakunmiSMELTD:


Just pray that your wife don't cheap on you.
You will know all this are just stories. Rebellious or not. Then you will know the reality of life.

Human are quick to judge when they haven't face the reality of life. Just pray that God should keep your marriage.

Lizzyolatunjs:

No but most times he is away on work related travels. So why hasn't he confronted me yet?

That “away on work related travels” is packed. This was how one person soon found her ‘husband’ had a child with another woman. All that travel was to the woman. Hmmm

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Ask him... right?!

Mariangeles:


When you see pictures of yourself in another person's phone you didn't permit them to take, don't you have a right to delete them?

She should delete them to save her marriage.
Her husband will only be mad if he has wicked intentions.

He didn't take the pictures from her phone, he took the shots from HIS OWN PHONE. He owns the absolute rights to all the chats in his phone and can decide to snap any one of them.

Deleting the pictures is an affront to the man. If she wants save her marriage, let her stop being disrespectful to the man cos that's what she said was the problem.


Some girls will disrespect you and when you call them out to answer for their indiscretions, they deny and deflect. So,the best way to handle them is to keep the receipts to avoid "no be wetin I talk, you don forget wetin I tell you".

Alexgeneration:
He didn't take the pictures from her phone, he took the shots from HIS OWN PHONE. He owns the absolute rights to all the chats in his phone and can decide to snap any one of them.

Deleting the pictures is an affront to the man. If she wants save her marriage, let her stop being disrespectful to the man cos that's what she said was the problem.


Some girls will disrespect you and when you call them out to answer for their indiscretions, they deny and deflect. So,the best way to handle them is to keep the receipts to avoid "no be wetin I talk, you don forget wetin I tell you".

Above all, I pray they work things out between them.

You mouth off and expect it to just vanish into thin air later on?

Lizzyolatunjs:
... when we quarrel and I mouth off to him...

Richy4:
Things would have been so nice, easy and wonderful... if you walk up to him and say.. honey, I saw screenshot on our misunderstandings years ago and recently, why are you saving it?... in a polite manner. He is your husband for Pete's sakes...Adult life is indeed complicated..

Try and be patient and control your tongue while you are tempered, i did the same with my wife, when she so arrogant towards me ad I will remind her later of abusive words that she should be careful with me.

He's prepping for a divorce, I hope you have something doing?

You may want to advise him to back them up online or on an external storage device. Because if phone loss or spoil, he starts all over

Oluwasaudy:
Lol....

I don't trust women bro ... You know how many ladies have dated before marrying my wife .? During dating and courtship....the signs will be there .....

Why keep records of wrong doings when you can't forgive ? The fact till old age...we will keep offending one another...but if we can tolerate and endure...we are good to go

Been married for 7 years now... Not perfect anyway ...but I haven't regret ever been married ..

Thanks for your advice anyway

Before marriage is different from inside marriage. That's how men keep forgiving in
marriage and the rate of bastard children keep increasing.

Have you forgotten the FMCB case? ( the guy just died like that, and no one remember him again).

Do you remember the man that nature 4 children that is not his, for many years. And eventually commit suicide by falling into river on third mainland bridge ?


The best thing is for us is to focus on our life and words of God. If we keep reading things online like this and see what is going on in our homes. It would only take grace of God.

Am married too
God's grace and wisdom is what we need in marriage, and not our perfectness.

He is sending the chat to someone or some persons.

StPete:
So many times women tend to say the worst things and then deny them thereafter when confronted. Perhaps, saving screenshots is to show proof that those things were said. I've always thought of recording voice conversations in my own case but usually the arguments would've gone far before I even remember saving or recording anything

And then she starts to deny everything she said but remembers every one of my own words

Maybe same situation is happening here.

Option 1: When you are angry, don't use WhatsApp and there would be no screen shot to save.

Option 2: Fight him the more for saving screen shots of your nasty messages and still keep sending him nasty messages whenever you are angry with him.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

litaninja:
You mouth off and expect it to just vanish into thin air later on?

Lol... The content of the mouth off lasan...

Lol...that man is probably forwarding the screenshots to some one.

But keeping those evidence might be due to years of insults and abusive words from you. Thats how you women are.

He became wise and started keeping the evidence incase you deny them. You are here now painting yourself a Saint to demonise him. Spits.

You really must be a headache to that man.

Make this smart move delete all the safe messages and clear your chat with him in his phone!! Let him come an ask you!! Go on your knees and plead with him!!

To me. Is because of one thing.
He has seen how women cone to social media to say what the man did to them but never for once said what they did to the man. So he is saving that should Incase it warrant to that and you go out and start saying Al what he did to you without saying what warranted that , then he will bring all out to show them what you did that amounted to that. I guess he screenshots the bad things you said but doesn't screenshot his own bad side.
To for him to release them depends on you if you want to preach to the public how he maltreat you . So in my Hubble opinion I will say this. Screenshot your chat same way he did, leave your phone carelessly so he will see it. Watch how he reacts that will tell your next move . But in whatever way, social media can lead you astral . Na you know your husband pass us . Do what will make the family grow

Madam, e be like say divorce de hungry you since!!
Wetin carry you go check the phone? Now you have seen what you are looking for, what next?

For your husband to record or take screenshots of your bad words, it shows how hurting your words have been to him.

You are here looking for people to encourage and help you scatter your family as you want.

You have made it public that your husband cheated but no one knows how you have been burning him with your mouth.(evil words)

My advice to you is to build your family.
There is no perfect family but INTENTIONALLY NOT SAYING OR DOING SOME BAD THINGS even when we are justified to do so, will go a long way to help you.

Be the change you desire, kindness and love will always bring peace.

If

As you see am, hope you deleted them? Cos that's what I would do.

Lizzyolatunjs:

Lol. Yes Sir. If only you knew the half of it. Its actually the other way round and then I react and voila

Lizz...
Just let it b... He saves d chat according to how it affected him in d past. Life is weird!
There will be a time we laugh remembering wen we cried, or smile remembering wen we frowned.
Just be a good wife to him. In time to come, U guys can look at d screenshot nd laugh it off. Memories make life beautiful!

(Maybe ur hubby shares some trait wit me)

Madam why are you bringing this issue here, ask your husband why saving all those past.msg on him phone if truly him have forgiving you Ask him to delete all the chat saving on him phone

frozen70:
Km

Hence fort, any careless word on chat or abuse due to anger must be done on voice call so that he won't have a proof that you commited yourself in writing

He is acting to use those chats as a prove that you are naughty

So be careful not just on chats but in every thing you do with him

He is behaving like someone that is on a mission and the mission is best known to him alone

So watch out

and you don't think there is any reason for her to stop abusing her husband?