This is a big lesson for you. Any word said out of anger which you write down is evergreen/alive. Be careful what you type in anger either to your husband or to any other person.
2) What you say is a bit safer than what you write down in black and white.
3) Henceforth, learn to keep your emotions (anger) under good subjection or control.
Finally, I hope he is not showing them to someone who matters to both of you.
Thanks

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

your husband is a great man, he is my kind.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Seems you never really understand him before marrying him and you still don't undertake his personality and check if you were both compatible before marrying. But based in your side of the story the possible reason he screenshot his messages with you when you have a fight is to have something to point at as reason that made him cheat on you yet again, so moral blackmailing at work for you to feel guilty and not good enough for him, and its also possible he does not love you to the extent of forgiving and letting go of past to focus on present and plan for future. But for the fact that you can access his phone it means he is not a secretive person and he might not just be into you and feels he just have to manage and let the marriage work but have a backup plan and justification if he can no longer bear something's you do that he does not like maybe nagging or other things.

theForth:


How will you delete things from a phone that doesn't belong to you?

I'll make things uncomfortable for her if I were to be the husband.

C'mon, what rubbish!

... Do you think it's everybody that have sense ?

Does that her comment sound like a sensible one to you?

What's the content of the saved messages...
They totally goes against you right?
You didn't tell us if u have a dirty past too...
The man is living in hell here on Earth

Wise man you got there.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

First and foremost stop calling it cheating...you and the man are no equal in any way...you both are wired differently...man is polygamous by nature. You cannot and can never take that away from him...know this and you know peace...!! It is the church that gave you people that warp idea that a man is meant for a single lady...a very alien culture to us blacks...!!!

Go back and ask your mother how she was able to leave successfully with your dad uptill the extent she bore you...!!! Perhaps you would learn better from her instead of bring such matter here trying to get advice from some people like you with same warp idea about who a man is...!!

Don’t ask him any questions oo, just quietly delete all… those msgs. Its a lesson for u now, since he is like that don’t send him abusive msgs again. Wait for him to come and tell u he cant find ABC msgs on his phone again

He is doing the right thing because tomorrow now, you women lambast him online. So, let him gather evidence.
If he is reading this, he should save them in his Google cloud service.
I consider adults with bad mouth as irresponsible adults.
I don't know what makes women think that bad mouthing is cool. They can bad mouth but can't be hit.
Both physical and verbal abuses should be completely descouraged.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

.
How did you feel when you read those messages..? Very bad I guess that it broke your spirit. That's exactly how your husband felt hearing those words from the person he loves and married. He never expected them from you same way you didn't expect him to save it as a reminder of what you are capable of doing. Ladies pls be mindful of your the type of words you use expecially when provoked.

Maybe he loves keeping records and it seems you are the type that say very hurtful things and will later deny them. Though not good keeping records as they always open up old wounds on slight provocation

Marriages with ups and downs the thing is somehow jare go and meet him and talk to him when he's good mood.

Forgive him.

Marrying a Nigeria woman now comes with burden. Well i wish those who want to marry goodluck.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

He is just keeping them as evidence...
But then,, whatever he is envisaging that might happen (which promoted him to keep such evidences) is what I can't decode from your story yet.

He's sending those chats to others most likely other ladies whom he's involved with or trying to lure into his bed. He uses those chats to convince the ladies that he's having a troubled marriage, so as to get their interest and much needed sympathy which he can use to bed them.
This is because the main excuse a girl uses to justify her relationship with a married man is to say that his wife is not taking good care of him so, I just want to be there for him. Thus, They'd hope he'd divorce her later and get them in without knowing that the man is only playing a game on their emotions. This script works very well for men but unfortunately women are the victims. If you doubt me, check his chats and notice he's sent them to other ladies. [color=#770077][/color]

socialmediaman:
I don’t see a reason for him to screenshot WhatsApp messages that are saved on his phone, unless he’s sharing them with other people

This is definitely the reason...
You cracked the puzzle.

Algold:
What's the content of the saved messages...
They totally goes against you right?
You didn't tell us if u have a dirty past too...
The man is living in hell here on Earth

Wise man you got there.

I gerit

Lizzyolatunjs:

He mouths off too and i dont do same. So why should he? Come on we are all humans.

Find out why he was saving those pictures..
If he wastes time in answering,, then go directly and ask him who he had been sending your private chats with him to.

habsydiamond:
Have u asked him why he was saving the chats... He wants to use them as evidence against u. Ur hubby is just a big man with little brain sorry to say this oo...

It may not be.
Let the man speak for himself.
Do you know if the OP is a chronic liar?

Ma'am please mind your speech and the kind of messages you send to your husband, especially when there is a misunderstanding or when you're angry.
I have decided to be doing the same to my woman too because whenever we quarrel the kind of badmouth she will use in disqualify you no be for here. It's just to show her when needed and nothing more.
She will remind you of how you do this and that in which 70% are not true.
So, I beg you to mind your messages you sent him.
Also, speech are easy to forgive sometimes than messages, remember it will be there forever.
I pray to God to fix every necessary things in your marriage.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Next time, if you want to disrespectful, don't use chat. Do it to his face, he won't have anything to screenshot again

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Better keep storing your own evidence too. Divorce is loading!
Watch what you say to him.
Every time keep your response to him henceforth beautiful or neutral.

He is gathering evidence to show that you are a bad woman. Don't fall for it again.

If you can undo some of the incriminating things you have said in the past, please do it. Create evidence that show that you are LOVING and CARING.

Be slow to display any kind of negative emotion on phone

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

He is gatering evidence against you incase you decide to take actions on his cheating escapades. He wants to have evidence to show how disrespectful you are hence his behaviour towards you and your marriage. Das all.

@op, did you see the screenshot of only your chats with him or he also screenshoted his chat with other people apart from you?

Some people have the habit of screenshoting chats, I use to but I have stopped.

Some use it as backup in case of evidence, some use it to discuss with others, some use it to cool off during leisures by going through them. I can't say what reason your husband chose to do so, so don't bother yourself. Just be cool, calm and be yourself. Nothing spoil

He does not trust you and he is saving the screenshots for evidence. Maybe he has good reasons to do so, we dont know till we hear from him.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

You are in a happy home already
Yet you wana broke it out with your over sabiiii
And I too know attitude of your husband saving chats.
Go and confront him and your husband’s side chick
Would be preparing to come in while your husband send you off.
Rubbish.
You home is happy already
Yet you want to wake evil.
Confront him with a knife simple

Lizzyolatunjs:

No thanks am not offended. You may be right. Am so confused right now because in my wildest dreams would I have thought he would do this. Do I have to watch my back with him?

If you like watch your front.
A married woman like you with happy home is here collecting advice from small kids using iPhone on a faceless forum.
You go wise soon

I see everyone trying to lay blames on your husband, I'm in no way supporting neither of you but... I'll like to ask a simple question based on this statement : "when we quarrel and I mouth off to him".

What kind of mouth offs do you do when you have quarrel, are they heavy words capable of causing break off which you just say merely because you are furiously angry

I suspect you're by yourself using your mouth to scatter your family even though he might have some faults too.

I'll like to announce to you that the man is saving them up as evidence against you when the time comes... but if things he saved are not self-indicting to you, let your mind be at peace. If they are, look for people he listens to that can appease him oooh because when your cup is full, what you don't expect will happen.

olanrewaju99:
My opinions are

1. He is sending it to someone.

2. He is saving it as evidence.

I'll advise you should be mindful of what you say or your chat with him when having issues. We all have different ways of handling issues, don't let that to bother you much.

You're a wise man

Op listen to me as a married man, those giving you advise there 80% are not married hence they give you advise on the basis of relationship


you're married to him, so communication they said is the best way to iron out any issues, instead of you to ask him why he's doing this then you resort to assumption and bringing the issue to public, you're not a wise lady or should I say you're a social media wife



confront him in a good manner to know why, don't go and destroy your home because of this trivial issues

He is saving those as evidences for the reason why he had to cheat.

He left all these other women and married you, so something must have made him to go back to them.

Most men are pushed to cheat when their wife 'quarrel and mouth off' to them. They usually by default, fall into the hands of any available woman.

If you want him to stop cheating, stop the 'quarrel and mouth off' to him and ask for forgiveness. I tell you, he will stop cheating.

If you doubt me, just do this simple research.

When was the first time after your he cheated after your got married to him?
When was the first time you 'quarreled and mouth off' him after your got married to him?

Manlikechoba:
Bringing family issues online for strangers to meddle in and at the end it's just you and ur family no stranger will be held accountable for the advices given...

The day I will eventually or catch my wife spilling our issues online,seeking advice.. na that day we dey take a break from the marriage... the problem is that, you didn't confront your husband neither did you tell your own family (elderly ones ) or his, you quickly ran to social media court to just talk and u get 80 percent lies as advice, 15 percent sitting on the fence and 5percent with truth and you will probably go with the highest number and your marriage hits the rock, next you are the one suffering it.... always sort the issues at home, with your spouse, talk to your family, his family and few of your reasonable friends that you know sincerely that they are married or his friends that are married... not with strangers and possibly feminists and people who are angry, sad and jealous that they haven't gotten a man to marry them...

What works for you might not work for others ọgá... A wise person will be able to select good advices even if it is one good advice in a million advices. But a foolish one will be confused the more.