Elizabeth Olatunji

This gender,una to like wahala

How on earth husband & wife uses WhatsApp exchange of words.
I mean husband and wife sit down and started abusing each other via WhatsApp.

This is mainly for boyfriend/girlfriend

EgunMogaji2:


I feel sorry for your marriage. You’re getting opinions from mostly single kids.

It is well.

I laugh tire for here

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

there are two factors attached to it
1) he might not be interested in the marriage but want to have evidence against you
2) he might be hearing series of talks about you when he is not around when he ask you about it you might addimt to it or denied it so he keep it as an evidence against you when the right times comes but there is a solutions to sha

I am not married but there was a time a friend said something to me that really hurt and i just screenshot and said to myself that one day i will show it to him. What you said during that fight really hurt the man hence the screen shots.

My opinion though.

You’ve said it all @ poster do you sometimes deny that you don’t bad mouth him? during reconciliation time … Anyway just change your ways of bad mouthing him and see if he will stop saving chat

Gentlerespect76:
You should always know how to circumcise your tongue. Obviously you are hurting the man too much with what you say; and soon you forget as you don't take it to heart. We men ehn, you kill us with your tongue. Just change and everything will be fine.

I dont like marriage..

Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Are both of you not staying together? Why chat when you can talk things over? This shows that there is no effective communication between both of you. This is a big mistake because if there is anything incriminating in your chats, it can be used against you. Nowadays couple, I don't know what is happening, perhaps it is part of the digital world where two people will be sitting in the same sitting room but can't communicate orally rather be chatting through whatsapp. Una get time sha. Since you have access to the screenshots, delete them but don't make that mistake again. Men easily forgets what they discuss orally, so talk with him rather than chat when you quarrel of mouth him off as you said.

haggai247:
This is the problems with most marriage everyone wants to be right.

Nothing you tell her that will justify that she did anything wrong " I'm always right" we are all humans"
Na so them go talk before you know divorce

My question to you is do you want to be right or you want a good marriage?
Your choice.....

This one wants to add more fuel to the fire.

Iyaebe:
He does not have a forgiving spirit, manage him like that

Lol. So some people are being managed like that? Okay.

Op I hope he's not beating you because it won't be funny.

Lizzyolatunjs

King3urna:


This one want pursue you for your husband place ohhh

So, she shouldn't address the issue right?
Should she bottle it up, and let it eat her up inside or should she play the same game her husband is playing?
What person would feel safe with a spouse with such calculative character?

immortalcrown:

Do not say this unless he has used her past offenses as the only reason to maltreat her. It might be that the wife denies her past actions and he is being careful to avoid being called a liar next time. Remembrance is different from revenge.

But the objective truth here is the marriage is not going well. Whether the man has a good reason to keep the chats or not, the marriage is highly contaminated.

Meanwhile, why is it on WhatsApp that they have their discussions? Are they living apart?

One of the most sensible comments so far.

I wish we could hear from the man too

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Are both of you not staying together? Why chat when you can talk things over? This shows that there is no effective communication between both of you. This is a big mistake because if there is anything incriminating in your chats, it can be used against you. Nowadays couple, I don't know what is happening, perhaps it is part of the digital world where two people will be sitting in the same sitting room but can't communicate orally rather be chatting through whatsapp. Una get time sha. Since you have access to the screenshots, delete them but don't make that mistake again. Men easily forgets what they discuss orally, so talk with him rather than chat when you quarrel of mouth him off as you said.

Smart man

Lizzyolatunjs:

No thanks am not offended. You may be right. Am so confused right now because in my wildest dreams would I have thought he would do this. Do I have to watch my back with him?

if you were good at tongue lashing and insulting , don't be scared of a divorce, you started the war , women. Like you always claim innocence in the face of trials and worse we men don't put such memories in mind but as God would have it in your case he's coming with retribution and your weight in words are heavy, you need to curb your tongue and give him respect especially in front of your kids , you are no longer a child and words have consequences

This generation is something else...very vindictive

Shukusheka:
He is a wise man.

...Only a wise man can do such.
Ask yourself why she is scared of that if she is innocent.
She has been abusing the hell out of the innocent man and when she found out the man was screen shorting,she came here claiming Saint.

Lizzyolatunjs:

He mouths off too and i dont do same. So why should he? Come on we are all humans.

My advice may be hard for you but it will definitely solve the problem.

Tell him you saw the screenshots and apologise to him for the things you said, please don't make a case out of it. Look remorseful. He has been wrong in the past by cheating, let it go, don't let that offence stay in your heart. After apologising, beg him to delete the screenshots. Accept say marriage no easy and your own dey your hand to take care of.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

He has forgiveness issues, talk to him about it.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

U think say everybody mumu like u abi? U dey cap wetin u nor fit recall and u expect an intelligent man not to have proofs. Out of the abundance of the mind the mouth speaketh. Evidence is what the niggah is saving. One day na to throw u out if he can't bear no more. Weyrey

You must have abused him verbally time and time again and secondly maybe you deny a lot of insults you rain on him making him look like a liar, this spurred him into keeping records of your conversations to use in future as evidence.
Sometimes, you ladies talk like your brains are disconnected from your tongues.

Prove me wrong by sharing some of those screenshots here.

Sleeping with the enemy.

Now you know the person you call husband. Find a way to delete those chats and pretend like you never knew about it.

he just save it so dat for all what you did to him latter he will show you back,

don't you know men have sense?

This is your husband we're talking about. This is a private, family affair. Should there be any understanding, love and maturity in your marriage, your first move would've been to discuss this matter with your husband and get to know his reasons for keeping such records, instead of bringing it to a public place like nairaland.

No offense intended.

Lizzyolatunjs:

No I haven't because I dont want him to know I saw them yet till I get varied opinions first.

have you done something previously that's worth his current attitude?

He's not saving anything. WhatsApp backup handles that.

He is actually sending them to someone

Double0h7:
You didn't have a problem sending him those messages but you have a problem that he kept them and documented them? Stop running your mouth if the evidence of it bothers you

Well said brother, you're a good judge.

Mariangeles:


So, she shouldn't address the issue right?
Should she bottle it up, and let it eat her up inside or should she play the same game her husband is playing?
What person would feel safe with a spouse with such calculative character?

.... And you think a man will just wake up and start screen shorting messages he had with his wife if all is well between them?
Do you know if she has been using abusive and derogatory words on him and whenever it's brought up,she denies it?
So your earlier advice to her will only worsen the situation.
Let her search her heart first and if she is truly innocent,she should then find out why he was doing that but if at all she is guilty. Let her just forget about confronting him.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Your husband is likely doing another woman, he will send those screenshot and say, we are not on good terms so don't worry I will soon be all yours. It's a cheating strategy! Now that you know, watch your back!

You live in which country?

Lizzyolatunjs:

No thanks am not offended. You may be right. Am so confused right now because in my wildest dreams would I have thought he would do this. Do I have to watch my back with him?

watch your back with him?

is this what you should be asking?

you don't want to know why he did that?

find a way to talk about it with him, especially when he is in a happy mood.