Richy4:
Things would have been so nice, easy and wonderful... if you walk up to him and say.. honey, I saw screenshot on our misunderstandings years ago and recently, why are you saving it?... in a polite manner. He is your husband for Pete's sakes...Adult life is indeed complicated..

So so complicated. Marriage even much more

This is the problems with most marriage everyone wants to be right.

Nothing you tell her that will justify that she did anything wrong " I'm always right" we are all humans"
Na so them go talk before you know divorce

My question to you is do you want to be right or you want a good marriage?
Your choice.....

Save yourself the stress and time by blocking him on whatsApp... If there's need for communication, then you both call..


Besides, retrieve those shots from his phone, delete it from his and make sure you delete it from trash too..

NB: This type of wahala don't stress me at all

Lizzyolatunjs:

He mouths off too and i dont do same. So why should he? Come on we are all humans.

Lol. I don't know what you're looking for. So he shouts so you too must shout? If you don't want your relationship then continue and prove that you are right. But if you want this relationship then understand that your man is hurt by your messages and maybe you should stop sending these kind of messages when you're angry and figure out a more mature and productive way to argue your issues with him.

The only reasonable advise so far

Richy4:
Things would have been so nice, easy and wonderful... if you walk up to him and say.. honey, I saw screenshot on our misunderstandings years ago and recently, why are you saving it?... in a polite manner. He is your husband for Pete's sakes...Adult life is indeed complicated..

So many times women tend to say the worst things and then deny them thereafter when confronted. Perhaps, saving screenshots is to show proof that those things were said. I've always thought of recording voice conversations in my own case but usually the arguments would've gone far before I even remember saving or recording anything

And then she starts to deny everything she said but remembers every one of my own words

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander f...

He's probably keeping them as evidence against you. Maybe you guys have had issues in the past and you denied stuff you did/said, just as many women do.

There's actually nothing wrong with him but there's a lot wrong with you: Why do you think you can say harsh and cruel things to your husband and then "move on" thereafter?

It hurts woman. Work on yourself and know how to talk, even when you're angry with a person. I won't be surprised if the relationship between you guys is strained, meaning the man is probably only staying for the kids, until of course, he can't take it anymore.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

And you left it there? Delete them all.
Next time you be careful what you put in writing cos he will definitely use it against u someday.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Ask him why he has them and hear his own side of the story.

He needs to have a defense when you go to Facebook to slander him among your fellow feminists. There's nothing wrong here, he doesn't want to be helpless. You have been abusing him all along and expect that he doesn't keep evidence to use protect himself when problem arises. How does that sound?

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Evidence collection....... When he cheats, do you also keep evidence.........

You are encouraging his cheating, by continually forgiven him and remaining a doormat .........

Hmmm

Lizzyolatunjs:

Thank you but I dont even know how to play that dirty.

Those words hut him deep inside his heart, that's why he saves them. Kindly print the unholy words you sent him on wats app, for Nairalanders to judge you, and see if they won't save it for meme's.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

Madam better cut your tongue to save your marriage

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

you saw screenshot boom, you came online. You ain't any different

Instead of worrying about why he keeps screenshots of your chats, you should be concerned about the things you say to hurt him warranting him to save these chats for future reference.

Women have mastered the art of playing victim while being abusive to their partners.

Lizzyolatunjs:

So so complicated. Marriage even much more

You both should address all your issues, talk things out between you two, then forgive each other.
I believe it is not that complicated.
I pray things work out for good for you both.

Lizzyolatunjs:
Hello my fellow nairalander family and friends. A silent member, please help me all. I always saw people bringing family issues here until I personally fell into same trap today.

Please my people am at crossroads and I need advice, bring it all on pls. I would like to know why my husband of 10years would save chats , screenshots of our whatsapp messages when we quarrel and I mouth off to him. I mostly dont even go back nor remember such episodes. However I just said let me check his pictures randomly and lo and behold screenshots of all our personal messages? We have kids together and there has been cheating on his part in the past. I have forgiven and forgiven but seeing my messages saved as screenshots broke me.

We have good chats too but I didnt see any of that so it was specifically done. Elders and colleagues please help me out. Thank you all

I feel sorry for your marriage. You’re getting opinions from mostly single kids.

It is well.

socialmediaman:
I don’t see a reason for him to screenshot WhatsApp messages that are saved on his phone, unless he’s sharing them with other people

With above quote, he might not be gathering any evidence but sharing to somebody at the time of quarrels, likely he is a quite type and you are usually showing him all the bad side of your rage.

The recipient might be a friend, relatives, parents, pastor..

....Your husband is a wise man.
Tomorrow now,you will deny every harsh and abusive words you said to him while shedding crocodile tears and your fellow wayward ladies will believe you because he has no evidence.

Mariangeles:


Before you confront him, send the screenshots to your phone, then delete them in his.

When confronting him, ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been doing the same.
Ask him how he'd feel if he found out that you've been recording all your conversations (quarrels) without his knowledge.

This one want pursue you for your husband place ohhh

That one good for only boyfriend, not husband. So that any day he misbehaves, you dump him

@Op whenever you bring up your marital issues online ,be sure to take the risks that goes with it because you might get very bad advice.

While i condemn the act of your hubby ,you are not also mature blc the first thing you should have done is to try to find out from him the reason behind it ....its marriage and considering the number of years you guys should have developed a communicating skill .

Pls go back to him when he is very happy with you then ship in the question OK.
Coming here is not the best option for me.

Nairaland will even help you breakup with your husband.. Madam, just forget about it and be a good wife to him and move on! Now you have seen it, your mind won't be at rest and when you tries going to him to know why he is doing such; it might likely resort to something else. Just forget it and move ahead unless you want to leave your marriage then you can make a little ado out of it.
The man had seen pepper from you and he doesn't want they said again. Just be a loving caring wife.

alpamo6:


With above quote, he might not be gathering any evidence but sharing to somebody at the time of quarrels, likely he is a quite type and you are usually showing him all the bad side of your rage.

The recipient might be a friend, relatives, parents, pastor..

.... Which is a good thing on his side.
She is here now claiming Saint but that man you see doing such is passing through hell in that marriage. So he is keeping evidence and I support him.

he might have saved them in the heat of his annoyance at that time and just wanted to show you later or remind you later of your errors so it never occurs again ...might not mean much(did it once before and didnt even know I still had it toll I was scrolling through my phone about a month after )
..best way to find out what he thinks is to confront him about it......

If it was dating I could have have something to say but in this case I have nothing to offer, evidence I may say.

JONNYSPUTE:
....Your husband is a wise man.
Tomorrow now,you will deny every harsh and abusive words you said to him while shedding crocodile tears and your fellow wayward ladies will believe you because he has no evidence.

He is a wise man.

Op, you are very funny sha.

You say hurtful things to your husband but got angry when he remembers. Why say bad things to people and get upset when that person remembered your bad words.

Cc: lizzyolatunjs