duro4chang:
The reasonable advice your mama give you no take am shey na our own you go take?

werey

TyroneP:


He is obviously looking at legalistic approach to the issue. What you're saying is immaterial in the court of law- infact, he's not from the woman's tribe so he doesn't know the provisions of their customary practice in a case like this. In furtherance to this, the deceased was not a minor as at the time of cohabitation, she should have decided on which way to go as regards traditional wedding before agreeing if to cohabit wih him or get married to him.
May her soul rest in peace. What if cases relating to stalking, intent to extort/defraud, misrepresentation of fact, threat to life or constructive possession is instituted/proven against the family? Moreover, he said he was willing to let them have the child. Op, take things easy on yourself. God be with you.

Oga, you are indeed a good orator. But mind you, all you are saying has no meaning. Whether the girl in question is not a minor or not, it can't over ride the issue of kidnapping and murder. Just advice the poor boy to go and marry his wife

wunmi590:


This same stubbornness is what your mum adviced you about before delving into the relationship....

Bros, you will pay it, the only things is just that it might not be much like how it should have been when she was alive.....

Leave him. I know his type. Him be wetin Yorubas dey call "Alagidi Talika!"

I know before you talk am say the woman go be Ibo. The culture may seem weird but it's a way to check moral decadence in our society. I mean what's a woman doing in your house when you have not done right by her?

naija4life247:


According to the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria or according to your village constitution

Reality has dawn up on the guy. Stop dishing out misinformation to people. I told you he must do what is asked of him. And he has.

jamesharryson:

Oga, you are indeed a good orator. But mind you, all you are saying has no meaning. Whether the girl in question is not a minor or not, it can't over ride the issue of kidnapping and murder. Just advice the poor boy to go and marry his wife

I wish you understand the elements/ingredients of kidnapping or murder in a case like this.
However, in his new post, he has decided to do what the lady's family want. You can help him with crowdfunding for his new plan.

ImaIma1:


This is just initial gra gra because you don't understand the magnitude of what has happened. This is not even about the tribe. Most tribes do this.

They will just be watching you as you are chopping their daughter/sister for free. You even got her pregnant. Now she died without getting the proper rites done for her.


You will pay her brideprice. Ask your mum and your people what they think.

I really wonder why you people think like this!! So sleeping with a lady means you must marry her? Do you know the spiritual implication of marrying a corpse? Una dey think so??

Op, you've entered trouble. Big one. This exact same scenario happened to a distant relative of mine. Omo, may we not enter trouble ooo

placeofallure:


Leave him. I know his type. Him be wetin Yorubas dey call "Alagidi Talika!"

I know before you talk am say the woman go be Ibo. The culture may seem weird but it's a way to check moral decadence in our society. I mean what's a woman doing in your house when you have not done right by her?

I know the lady must be igbo but practice is not limited to igbos alone, it is common among the igbos, urhobos/isokos, akwa ibom and part of Edo.

Babara1994:

I really wonder why you people think like this!! So sleeping with a lady means you must marry her? Do you know the spiritual implication of marrying a corpse? Una dey think so??

When did sleeping with a lady and putting her in your house without marrying her become your right? The fact that it is done and people get away with it doesn't make it right. There are consequences man.

Go and try it and let her pass on in your custody, you will know whether people think or not. The op after all his defiance has agreed to pay the bride price.

I'm not the one that told him.to go marry her. But unfortunately, that is the tradition in most places when you cohabit without wedding properly.

ImaIma1:



When did sleeping with a lady and putting her in your house without marrying her become your right? The fact that it is done and people get away with it doesn't make it right. There are consequences man.

Go and try it and let her pass on in your custody, you will know whether people think or not. The op after all his defiance has agreed to pay the bride price.

I'm not the one that told him.to go marry her. But unfortunately, that is the tradition in most places when you cohabit without wedding properly.

Where did he state that he was cohabiting with her?

TyroneP:


I wish you understand the elements/ingredients of kidnapping or murder in a case like this.
However, in his new post, he has decided to do what the lady's family want. You can help him with crowdfunding for his new plan.

Remember the girl is no more alive to attest if her family is saying the truth or not. He kidnapped and murdered the girl, with the evidence at hand.

Good he has accepted to accept the fact and do the needful. But my calling him poor is not because he doesn't have money please. It's just like pitying him

flexyrule:
Are you married?

No

Babara1994:

Where did he state that he was cohabiting with her?

Why was he the one running around and taking her to the hospital, trying to get treatment if she was in her father's house? Besides, they had a child together.

There's no need for the back and forth. That is their tradition and he was warned about the tribe. Except he wants to lose the relationship with his son he should try to reach an agreement with them

Babara1994:

Where did he state that he was cohabiting with her?

Read his first post, the word cohabiting isn’t there but his explanations define it

You are lucky they didnt charge you for murder...

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

I actually wanted to read and pass but this comment of yours touched me. You now refer to the woman that bore your precious son as 'it'. It is now their daughter. After you have f-cked life out of her. Weldone sir.
Anyways if you need that your son, you must pay that bride price.... Igbos value it alot. Except she's not igbo

syntekelite:
You are lucky they didnt charge you for murder...

Charge for murder? What evidence is there for murder? To prove murder, the family would have to provide evidence, motif and murder weapon or means of murder. The judge will throw out the case on second sitting.

So the family has evidence to prove murder, they would forget the case once he paid bride price abi.

Cheap blackmail.

Nnefada:

I actually wanted to read and pass but this comment of yours touched me. You now refer to the woman that bore your precious son as 'it'. It is now their daughter. After you have f-cked life out of her. Weldone sir.
Anyways if you need that your son, you must pay that bride price.... Igbos value it alot. Except she's not igbo

Igbos are beginning to sound like ISIS. Others dont have to abide by igbo traditions and religion by threats and blackmail. In my culture its a taboo to marry a corpse.

He fùcked the life out of her and she also fùck the life out him him. Fucking is notba crime and the Nigerian common law does not predicate paternity on bride price.

The guy is being blackmailed because the he is probably from a poor family. You can't try this shit with Davido or Fani kayode. Precious had 4 children for FFK without him paying any bride price.
You igbos should lead a riot to Davido's house or FFK's house now, to collect the children's as there were no bride price involved.

The events took place outside igboland and the guy is not igbo, so I don't understand how you guys want to impose igbo culture on another tribe or state. If you try this in kano, they will behead you.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

U go stubborn small oo

wirinet:


Igbos are beginning to sound like ISIS. Others dont have to abide by igbo traditions and religion by threats and blackmail. In my culture its a taboo to marry a corpse.

He fùcked the life out of her and she also fùck the life out him him. Fucking is notba crime and the Nigerian common law does not predicate paternity on bride price.

The guy is being blackmailed because the he is probably from a poor family. You can't try this shit with Davido or Fani kayode. Precious had 4 children for FFK without him paying any bride price.
You igbos should lead a riot to Davido's house or FFK's house now, to collect the children's as there were no bride price involved.

The events took place outside igboland and the guy is not igbo, so I don't understand how you guys want to impose igbo culture on another tribe or state. If you try this in kano, they will behead you.

For your information FFK paid precious bride price and for Davido his eye will clear if anything happen to Chioma like the case of OP. They have already told him that Ifeanyi is not yet his son until he paid bride price. Igbo’s tradition has no respect to your riches I’m sure you know that Igbo’s are more richer than the names you mention.
In the case of OP if the lady in question happens to be an Igbo women they might allow the law of the land deal with him natural if failed to adhere by the tradition before he bury his wife but if she is Akwaibom I bet you he will be buried together with the lady they will never spare him alife. You dey joke with deities

HRprof:


For your information FFK paid precious bride price and for Davido his eye will clear if anything happen to Chioma like the case of OP. They have already told him that Ifeanyi is not yet his son until he paid bride price. Igbo’s tradition has no respect to your riches I’m sure you know that Igbo’s are more richer than the names you mention.
In the case of OP if the lady in question happens to be an Igbo women they might allow the law of the land deal with him natural if failed to adhere by the tradition before he bury his wife but if she is Akwaibom I bet you he will be buried together with the lady they will never spare him alife. You dey joke with deities

I will appreciate it if you can provide links to the traditional marriage of Precious where FFK paid her bride price.

What's stopping Chioma's patents? Why have they not gone to claim Ifeanyi as theirs since davido refused to pay chiomas bride price?
You want to leave your igboland and impose your igbo laws and custom in Osun or Lagos.

The law of which land deal with the OP? Will the dieties of igboland or calabarland travel to Lagos or where the OP lives to deal with him?

wirinet:


I will appreciate it if you can provide links to the traditional marriage of Precious where FFK paid her bride price.

What's stopping Chioma's patents? Why have they not gone to claim Ifeanyi as theirs since davido refused to pay chiomas bride price?
You want to leave your igboland and impose your igbo laws and custom in Osun or Lagos.

The law of which land deal with the OP? Will the dieties of igboland or calabarland travel to Lagos or where the OP lives to deal with him?

If you know how far deities/ spirit can travel to you will stop making mouth. When people are shouting village people are after them were they in the village

Really

wirinet:

Charge for murder? What evidence is there for murder? To prove murder, the family would have to provide evidence, motif and murder weapon or means of murder. The judge will throw out the case on second sitting.

So the family has evidence to prove murder, they would forget the case once he paid bride price abi.

Cheap blackmail.

Seems you know nothin about eastern culture.. u cohabit with a woman, no formal introduction, no traditional wedding, and they both stay far from the woman's home,she unfortunately passed away, tell me how the woman's family is supposed to react?? What if she was used, or beaten or many other scenarios to many to list, seems you dont know the meaning of marriage.... Its why prosecutors cant compel a woman to testify against her husband thats how strong tying the knot is.. if that guy jam better eastern folks he wont even have strength to type on nairaland .

syntekelite:


Seems you know nothin about eastern culture.. u cohabit with a woman, no formal introduction, no traditional wedding, and they both stay far from the woman's home,she unfortunately passed away, tell me how the woman's family is supposed to react?? What if she was used, or beaten or many other scenarios to many to list, seems you dont know the meaning of marriage.... Its why prosecutors cant compel a woman to testify against her husband thats how strong tying the knot is.. if that guy jam better eastern folks he wont even have strength to type on nairaland .

Eastern culture you say.i am not from the east and I don't live in the east. So what concerns me with Eastern culture? Thats how one supposedly educated igbo person became my enemy because I countered the igbo archaic culture of not allowing a woman to inherit her father's property, even though supreme Court has ruled otherwise. I told him in my culture women are entitled to her father's properties.

Parents that should be ashamed of allowing their daughter live with a man for years without bride price are now crying and threatening all over the place because they want to exploit their daughters death to collect money. If its my place, the girls family will be ashamed and quietly bury their daughter.

You guys encourage your daughters to pack load into a guys house, get pregnant for him, and then start threatening him to pay bride price, dead or alive.

I have never seen where to marry a living person is by force, not to talk of a dead person

wirinet:


Eastern culture you say.i am not from the east and I don't live in the east. So what concerns me with Eastern culture? Thats how one supposedly educated igbo person became my enemy because I countered the igbo archaic culture of not allowing a woman to inherit her father's property, even though supreme Court has ruled otherwise. I told him in my culture women are entitled to her father's properties.

Parents that should be ashamed of allowing their daughter live with a man for years without bride price are now crying and threatening all over the place because they want to exploit their daughters death to collect money. If its my place, the girls family will be ashamed and quietly bury their daughter.

You guys encourage your daughters to pack load into a guys house, get pregnant for him, and then start threatening him to pay bride price, dead or alive.

I have never seen where to marry a living person is by force, not to talk of a dead person

Thats my point all along,it aint an argument, its a statement of fact based on my years of experiencing such traditions.. i am not sayin this based on hearsay its based on eye witness account..as for the parents thats their way,they patiently watch and wait till something like this happens,trust me they would have told their daughter to bring the baby father for introduction,some dont..at the end of it all most cases have seen they take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's maiden name..

syntekelite:


Thats my point all along,it aint an argument, its a statement of fact based on my years of experiencing such traditions.. i am not sayin this based on hearsay its based on eye witness account..as for the parents thats their way,they patiently watch and wait till something like this happens,trust me they would have told their daughter to bring the baby father for introduction,some dont..at the end of it all most cases have seen they take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's maiden name..

What i want you to accept is that culture is different. Eastern culture is different from northern culture or western culture. Eastern culture just like Shariah in the North should only apply to easterners and the east. I

Me, I am an extremely strict person person. I will never allow daughter to go live with a man she is not betrothed to. Thats why I work so hard to train and educate my daughter. I don't want the shameful situation of my daughter having to depend on another man for survival

If in the unfortunate situation my daugher gets pregnant by mistake for a random guy, thats a different matter. If the one responsible for the pregnancy is not ready to marry her, I along with the guys parents will dicuss how the child will be raised. If they reject their parental rights, I will get legally adopt the child and train it as mine. One thing I can never do is force the guy to marry my daughter.

Finally, you cannot take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's father's name without legal recourse, unless the father is not interested in claiming paternity. The matter would be taken to court. I don't see a court in the West or North granting paternity to the child's grandparents when the father is alive, willing and capable.

wirinet:


What i want you to accept is that culture is different. Eastern culture is different from northern culture or western culture. Eastern culture just like Shariah in the North should only apply to easterners and the east. I

Me, I am an extremely strict person person. I will never allow daughter to go live with a man she is not betrothed to. Thats why I work so hard to train and educate my daughter. I don't want the shameful situation of my daughter having to depend on another man for survival

If in the unfortunate situation my daugher gets pregnant by mistake for a random guy, thats a different matter. If the one responsible for the pregnancy is not ready to marry her, I along with the guys parents will dicuss how the child will be raised. If they reject their parental rights, I will get legally adopt the child and train it as mine. One thing I can never do is force the guy to marry my daughter.

Finally, you cannot take the child and change his or her surname to the woman's father's name without legal recourse, unless the father is not interested in claiming paternity. The matter would be taken to court. I don't see a court in the West or North granting paternity to the child's grandparents when the father is alive, willing and capable.

Thats why its called tradition not constitution.. trust me the child will be taken by the womans family if he doesnt do what they want at least to an extent..the main reason why it became an issue in the first place is cos she died in the mans house,there are baby mamas still living in their fathers house or their own apartment alone..if she had died in her fathers house or her own house such demands wont have come up..there is a distinct difference btw the two scenario's that you have to u.stand.. also if you read the op's thread you will sense an arrogance or maybe ignorance of the way things are done in diff cultures.. imagine someone cohabiting with a child of another man just calls and says he wants to plan burial of their daughter...someone he has a child with,lives with for years but never did any formal introduction with her family,now wants to do burial....
One of my man has 5kids with a woman he never married..they are practically married but not in the eyes of the law or God.. he just did the introduction recently,the reason... a friend from the same tribe with his wife told my man.. if your woman die for your house you no fit bury her and your children no go bear your name unless he travels to the east to do the traditional rites with her family..

syntekelite:


Thats why its called tradition not constitution.. trust me the child will be taken by the womans family if he doesnt do what they want at least to an extent..

The constitution is above any culture or tradition.
There is no law in the constitution, act or edict that grants the child to the grandparents. If the girls family insists on taking the child, then the matter should be settled legally.

the main reason why it became an issue in the first place is cos she died in the mans house,there are baby mamas still living in their fathers house or their own apartment alone..if she had died in her fathers house or her own house such demands wont have come up..there is a distinct difference btw the two scenario's that you have to u.stand..

That he died in the OPs house doesn't mean he killed her. If that is the case then it would be a homicide and not paternity or bride price issue. He even said he spent over a million naira in medical expenses trying to save her. Where were her family when she was suffering and succumbing to the disease that killed her? How much did they contribute? She died and all they could care about is bride price.

also if you read the op's thread you will sense an arrogance or maybe ignorance of the way things are done in diff cultures.. imagine someone cohabiting with a child of another man just calls and says he wants to plan burial of their daughter...someone he has a child with,lives with for years but never did any formal introduction with her family,now wants to do burial....

I also did not agree with the manner the OP took in informing the family of her death, even though I blame the family for abandoning their daughter when she needed them most. They should not have left everything to the boyfriend. Even if my daughter is married and she fell critically sick, I will not be able to sleep. I will make sure I do all I can to save her.
As I said, the OP has no right to plan any burial since they were never married. He should have first told them of their daughter demise and asked how to proceed. If they need him to foot the burial expenses, he should gladly accept. What I quarrel with is the marriage and bride price thing. If you tell my family you want to go and pay the bride price of a dead girl, no one will follow you.

If as he is insinuating that the family is threatening him with violence and kidnapping his son, he should make a formal report at the police station. He should then get a lawyer to write the family officially informing them of the death of their daughter with the medical records and autopsy included. He should also inform them on the whereabout of her corpse and still ask how they want to proceed.

One of my man has 5kids with a woman he never married..they are practically married but not in the eyes of the law or God.. he just did the introduction recently,the reason... a friend from the same tribe with his wife told my man.. if your woman die for your house you no fit bury her and your children no go bear your name unless he travels to the east to do the traditional rites with her family..

As I said, both your friend and the woman are from the east. If the man is Hausa or a foreigner that Eastern traditional you are talking about will not apply, unless he willingly agrees.

wirinet:

The constitution is above any culture or tradition.
There is no law in the constitution, act or edict that grants the child to the grandparents. If the girls family insists on taking the child, then the matter should be settled legally.


That he died in the OPs house doesn't mean he killed her. If that is the case then it would be a homicide and not paternity or bride price issue. He even said he spent over a million naira in medical expenses trying to save her. Where were her family when she was suffering and succumbing to the disease that killed her? How much did they contribute? She died and all they could care about is bride price.


I also did not agree with the manner the OP took in informing the family of her death, even though I blame the family for abandoning their daughter when she needed them most. They should not have left everything to the boyfriend. Even if my daughter is married and she fell critically sick, I will not be able to sleep. I will make sure I do all I can to save her.
As I said, the OP has no right to plan any burial since they were never married. He should have first told them of their daughter demise and asked how to proceed. If they need him to foot the burial expenses, he should gladly accept. What I quarrel with is the marriage and bride price thing. If you tell my family you want to go and pay the bride price of a dead girl, no one will follow you.

If as he is insinuating that the family is threatening him with violence and kidnapping his son, he should make a formal report at the police station. He should then get a lawyer to write the family officially informing them of the death of their daughter with the medical records and autopsy included. He should also inform them on the whereabout of her corpse and still ask how they want to proceed.



As I said, both your friend and the woman are from the east. If the man is Hausa or a foreigner that Eastern traditional will not apply, unless he willingly agrees.

My friend is yoruba,the wife is from the east..
As to paternity and the constitution,sharia is being practised in kano and parts of kaduna,is sharia in the constitution?
Pertaining to paternity a man who never legally married a woman has no total claim over the child in a court of law,cos the court of law respects only the law which will be a marriage certificate or registry certificate which the man has neither so why will said child bear his name? The man can only be awarded joint custody with the family of the wife cos he was her boyfriend and baby daddy not her husband and thats after the court orders a dna test..
Has it even crossed your mind that the family can deny he is the father after all they were just dating as such the woman is free to date someone else since the man never bothered to do right by her..
Not supporting the family,am a realist that knows that anything is possible and so must respect some strange and unusual circumstances peculiar to diff tribes..
in all such instances have come across,the man involved almost never wins.. you see those uncles in the east never mess with them..

syntekelite:


My friend is yoruba,the wife is from the east..
As to paternity and the constitution,sharia is being practised in kano and parts of kaduna,is sharia in the constitution?

You friend willingly chose to abide by tradition of the east, probably due to love.He cannot be forced. I also have an example thats close to me.

One of my wife's uncle is is famed for being irresponsible as he is a drug addict, has 8 children from 4 different women. His live in lover with whom he has an 18 year old daughter died just about 8 months ago. Mind you this man is pure igbo and the live in girlfriend is yoruba. When she became critically ill, he was not even around yo take her to the hospital. He is often away from home for days at a time. He never even visited her at the hospital. When she died and was informed, he switched off his phone and could not be reached for days. No one told the family of the woman before they settled the medical bills and took her to her family house for burial. He never attended the burial. When we jokingly said, the family would come for him, he told us he will be waiting. This man is pure "jaguda ". The family only came one day to pack the woman's belonging.

This man would even gladly dash the daughter to the wife's family and has to be forced to pay her school fees.

What I am getting at is that the girls family is exploiting the fact that the OP is gentle and has conscience. If he was an area boy or "jaduda", they won't dare ask for bride price not to talk of threatening.

Yes, I agree sharia ( the criminal aspects) violates the constitution. But then it is only practiced in the North. Why do the easterners want to impose their own sharia outside the east?

Pertaining to paternity a man who never legally married a woman has no total claim over the child in a court of law,cos the court of law respects only the law which will be a marriage certificate or registry certificate which the man has neither so why will said child bear his name? The man can only be awarded joint custody with the family of the wife cos he was her boyfriend and baby daddy not her husband and thats after the court orders a dna test..
Has it even crossed your mind that the family can deny he is the father after all they were just dating as such the woman is free to date someone else since the man never bothered to do right by her..
Not supporting the family,am a realist that knows that anything is possible and so must respect some strange and unusual circumstances peculiar to diff tribes..
in all such instances have come across,the man involved almost never wins.. you see those uncles in the east never mess with them..

This is a fallacy. Please quote relevant sections of the Nigerian constitution or any law that supports this. The only thing a court needs to determine paternity is a birth certificate or a court ordered DNA test.

Now does this your fabled law apply through out the whole world, throughout Nigeria or throughout the East?

wirinet:

You friend willingly chose to abide by tradition of the east, probably due to love.He cannot be forced. I also have an example thats close to me.

One of my wife's uncle is is famed for being irresponsible as he is a drug addict, has 8 children from 4 different women. His live in lover with whom he has an 18 year old daughter died just about 8 months ago. Mind you this man is pure igbo and the live in girlfriend is yoruba. When she became critically ill, he was not even around yo take her to the hospital. He is often away from home for days at a time. He never even visited her at the hospital. When she died and was informed, he switched off his phone and could not be reached for days. No one told the family of the woman before they settled the medical bills and took her to her family house for burial. He never attended the burial. When we jokingly said, the family would come for him, he told us he will be waiting. This man is pure "jaguda ". The family only came one day to pack the woman's belonging.

This man would even gladly dash the daughter to the wife's family and has to be forced to pay her school fees.

What I am getting at is that the girls family is exploiting the fact that the OP is gentle and has conscience. If he was an area boy or "jaduda", they won't dare ask for bride price not to talk of threatening.

Yes, I agree sharia ( the criminal aspects) violates the constitution. But then it is only practiced in the North. Why do the easterners want to impose their own sharia outside the east?



This is a fallacy. Please quote relevant sections of the Nigerian constitution or any law that supports this. The only thing a court needs to determine paternity is a birth certificate or a court ordered DNA test.

Now does this your fabled law apply through out the whole world, throughout Nigeria or throughout the East?

Lol its not fabled law..its a simple fact that the man has no claim on that child if the family choose to go the route of the court room, a simple analogy.. if the said woman was richer than the man and has properties, will the man automatically inherit said property?the court recognises only valid certificate of marriage,which he has none,he is just like a surrogate who donated his sperm,thats the point you are choosing to avoid,which is why the family insists he pays the dowry if the child is important to him.. are you telling me if the woman was alive and she and the man part ways its a must she gives the child his name?? There is no link tying the child to the fathers name cos officially the mother never took the mans name.. its divorce or separation that applies to what you stated above..in the eyes of the law they were just boyfriend and girlfriend..