mrrandomguy:
We met over two years ago and began dating. It was not easy at first because of religious and ethnic differences. She is also bossy and independent which turned me off initially. I have shared my experience here before.
Soon after we began dating, I realised that almost all the women around her are like that. They control their husbands, boyfriends, brothers etc and boss them around, which is strange in Islam.
Later on, I realised that she belongs to certain women empowerment group which includes all kinds of women, young and old, from all walks of life.
I soon realised that it was a feminist group when I mistakenly saw their constitution. I saw different 'women' books on her laptop. I checked her browsing history and was shocked. I saw blogs and websites teaching women on how to control any man and make him feel he is in charge, how to domesticate a man, how tame a man, etc.
I decided to confront her, then I ended the relationship. She didn't even beg me.
Her aunt got to know about what transpired much later. She called to lecture me on feminism, what it stands for, etc. She then asked me to come see her at home. Getting there, I met my ex. They have planned the meeting. Her mother and one other lady was also there. They talked to me for some minutes and said I should beg her. I refused. Suddenly, her mum shouted at me to kneel and apologize to her. I bacame afraid so I knelt and begged her. Her aunt now said I must date her neice, and that I have to comply with certain rules. They ordered her to take me to a room. One thing led to another and we had sex. That was how we reconciled and continued with the relationship. I liked her more and more each day.
Early this year, she said we should take our relationship to the next level, that she wants to be in charge of certain things.
Firstly she said she wanted to move in with me. I couldn't refuse.
The second thing is my income and spending decisions. She said women are better money managers. She said I should sell my land and give her the money. I did, but when I asked her what she wanted to do with the proceeds she told me I shouldn't worry. The next thing I saw was a car. I never thought of buying one for myself. According to her, she need to be mobile when she gets pregnant, although we are still believing God.
I wanted a joint account but she decided against it. So I made a standing order at my bank for the amount equal to my salary to be transferred to her personal account. I do the transfers before, but sometimes I forget and she gets angry. She even ordered me to change the phone number for receiving alerts to her number which I did today. There is now peace in the house and I am really happy.
I cook and clean occasionally. She said I cook better than her and that it will be better for us if I cook more often.
I wanted us to make the relationship formal but she said marriage is overrated and that we should continue cohabiting. I fought against it but she won as usual. She is really intelligent. We are now thinking of having our babies outside wedlock.
We are both gainfully employed, we work in the same establishment but at different units. She is also a public speaker and have concluded masterclasses in mentoring, writing and content creation.
She said that I may have to resign and stay at home fully when her feminist activism and writing career starts paying-off. I don't have any excuse not to obey her because I must support her, afterall she is good at what she does.
Now, I don't have much say in how the relationship is run, even financially as she can access my money whenever she wants to.
She pays most bills from her phone. But what annoyed me most was the downgrading of our DStv bouquet. I can no longer watch certain channels. I complained about it but she said those programs don't add value to men. I agreed with her.
I cannot contact my family members without her being present. Whenever I do, I always make sure to delete them from my chats and call logs because she will check. She gave reasons, supported with bible passages on why a man must leave his family and cleave to his wife. I was surprised she knew those verses despite her being a Muslim. She told me they talked about many things in their women's meeting.
She has done many things in my life. I am really grateful to have met a lady like her.
Thanks to her aunt, mother and all nairaland feminists like FERNANDEZISBACK, Jeon, Islandlady, siofra, Candidlady, etc. I have finally realised why I should let a woman take over and control me. I know this ain't true, but shit's funny as hell  .... |
