I didn't type to annoy you bro. I just felt if you can employ this strategy she will change. Some women are like that.

Richy4:


Did u just type that to annoy me or what? ..
I promise, I won't be angry with you

Mumu, what do you know about marriage.

ABANGWABOI:



Thunda Faya yhu for this advice..
Stoopid Vseless phool

Try to see my points, show her more affections.

Maverick777:

Buy her gift for what exactly, being insensitive??
Is that what you'd do if you were to be in his shoes?
To put down a comment is not mandatory my friend!

No

Dearlord:


you need to address what you do asap, I know you can't please all but doing your things to the extent of people around you taking it to their hearts are unfair Nnem" Biko! Think about it

Dear Lord have mercy....it's well.

belcom10:
Mumu, what do you know about marriage.

At least I know how deep and Smelly yhur MODA ToTo is..
Ediot.

I can't believe this story until we hear from the other side of your wife. Don't come nairaland to give us lamba. I come in peace

surgevessel:
1. Okay, you have a point, but look at it from this perspective, do you know that we sometimes send money to our wives parents, siblings and close relatives as responsible African husband without putting our wives in the know??.

I have done that times without number, I sponsored siblings entire fee and project, support even sibling's husband who had problems with his business.. Look as Africans we treat our wives family as our family. That is Africa for you. There is no difference when I'm referring to my wife's parents and my parents. I use location to specify who among them..

2. There is no limit to what we do to our wives families as Africans, most of which were not in agreement before the marriage as well. where we get it complicated is adoption of western lifestyles into our various homes.. Isn't it embarrassing to find some women searching on google 'is it right to host family members in your home for more than a week' I ask, why would you even reason in that line in the first place?

3. There is so much around marriage and African style than our women understand..

1. But wait o, who send you go do wetin you dey tag "African husband" abeg?

I don't treat or send money to every tom, dick and relative of mine, so why would I do that for my spouse's family simply on grounds that I accept them as part of mine? Na craze I carry for head when I marry?

Abi na bribe you dey bribe your wife family so you fit claim say they are part of your family?

2. Interesting claim, however, if you look again, you will find that the major complaint OP, and many who have opined have, has to do with carrying it all on their heads, I.e. playing "African husband". What has western lifestyles got to do with complicating that?

Are you somehow insinuating that your African setting does not allow relatives to come stay for over a week or what?

3. I don't think the problem has anything to do with the African woman not having an understanding of african marriage and style. Instead you seem confused about it yourself.

Deborah98:
Dear Lord have mercy....it's well.

Amen!

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

15k a week for a family of 4...how una take dey run am...are u in naija..ur wife go soon run leave u..that's 60k for a whole full month..it is well o

Maverick777:

How many things are you even saying oga?
only you said he shouldn't complain
only said report the wife
only you said discuss with her
did anyone force you to comment?

it's obvious you're bereft of ideas, let's all learn to be empathetic in our posts and advise to people here..

Men are not robots ok!

Thank you sir.

Emphathy is different from sympathy.

I didn't know he's looking for sympathy.

You the chief counselor why not go ahead with your own counsel?

zanshi:


Damn, chief how are you holding through?

What is she now saying?

Are her family members trying to rejoin you back?

I moved on jeje and have requested for my bride price back.Even in where I come from is a taboo for her to have kept such secret from my and which can have effect on my life spiritually.Even since I married her I have sold two of my lands that worth over 15m and nothing has been working.Bottom lome women are very selfish and highly self centered

Spiker777:


I moved on jeje and have requested for my bride price back.Even in where I come from is a taboo for her to have kept such secret from my and which can have effect on my life spiritually.Even since I married her I have sold two of my lands that worth over 15m and nothing has been working.Bottom lome women are very selfish and highly self centered

Has she in any way shown any form of remourse, and what is her family members saying?

Spiker777:
I moved on jeje and have requested for my bride price back.Even in where I come from is a taboo for her to have kept such secret from my and which can have effect on my life spiritually.Even since I married her I have sold two of my lands that worth over 15m and nothing has been working.Bottom lome women are very selfish and highly self centered

Here's newsflash for you, if you do not learn the pertinent lesson from this lesson which is that you should wisely a partner that agrees with you as far as what you want in marriage, your kind will only end up repeating the same mistake. I have seen it happen so many times over. You think you won because you got your bride price back and sent her packing? Don't wait you have to do this again before you realize the fault was partly yours to begin with.

You are not doing bad. My brother, lock up for two to three months. If children complain too much, carry them comot go buy food. Declare a total lockdown. Frown on a daily, no smile with anybody. Everything go reset.

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

zanshi:



Has she in any way shown any form of remourse, and what is her family members saying?

Sure she has shown remorse but when I reevaluate all she has done even with her knowing I’m swimming i debts I see it as witchcraft so I’m done.

Kobojunkie:
Here's newsflash for you, if you do not learn the pertinent lesson from this lesson which is that you should wisely a partner that agrees with you as far as what you want in marriage, your kind will only end up repeating the same mistake. I have seen it happen so many times over. You think you won because you got your bride price back and sent her packing? Don't wait you have to do this again before you realize the fault was partly yours to begin with.

Well said and I’m well prepared for This I aren’t rushing into any relationship again

Kobojunkie:
Here's newsflash for you, if you do not learn the pertinent lesson from this lesson which is that you should wisely a partner that agrees with you as far as what you want in marriage, your kind will only end up repeating the same mistake. I have seen it happen so many times over. You think you won because you got your bride price back and sent her packing? Don't wait you have to do this again before you realize the fault was partly yours to begin with.

Why do you think the fault is partly mine?

Kobojunkie:
1. But wait o, who send you go do wetin you dey tag "African husband" abeg?

I don't treat or send money to every tom, dick and relative of mine, so why would I do that for my spouse's family simply on grounds that I accept them as part of mine? Na craze I carry for head when I marry?

Abi na bribe you dey bribe your wife family so you fit claim say they are part of your family?

2. Interesting claim, however, if you look again, you will find that the major complaint OP, and many who have opined have, has to do with carrying it all on their heads, I.e. playing "African husband". What has western lifestyles got to do with complicating that?

Are you somehow insinuating that your African setting does not allow relatives to come stay for over a week or what?

3. I don't think the problem has anything to do with the African woman not having an understanding of african marriage and style. Instead you seem confused about it yourself.

Please go back, read and digest every point in my response. You dont even understand the write up at all..

surgevessel:
Please go back, read and digest every point in my response. You dont even understand the write up at all..

I think I do understand what you were trying to say only I don't see you actually pointing out any real problems except the on individuals take on themselves for really unknown reasons if you ask me.

What you call being an African husband, I consider utter foolishness since such ideas are supposed to be left only for those who can afford such "wasteful" lifestyles. .

Spiker777:
Why do you think the fault is partly mine?

Did you and your wife agree, pre-arrange, to share bills and all? Yes or no please?

Spiker777:

Well said and I’m well prepared for This I aren’t rushing into any relationship again

There is no set blueprint as far as marriage is concerned. So you need to think well what you would like in your marriage partner before you even enter into any long term relationships. Have them typed out if you will so you remind yourself that your partner has to agree to all listed with no compromise. That is a good way to helping you make sure you don't get less than what you desire in marriage, right?

Again, marriage is an agreement between a man and woman. And unless you both agree on the basics, there really isn't any point in going on with the relationship, if you ask me..

ufotty2001:

This is what am passing through too

Hmmmmm my brother. God will see good men through. it is well

Kobojunkie:
The more pertinent question is why do you folks waste your time dating those you see no future with?

All of this chaos in your head over this woman no be for free. Your mental health is impacted by all the stress you put yourself through simply by continually engaging individuals whom you oppose, talk less of when you actually enter relationship with them. Na wa o!.

i agree with you bro

Lawly:
Hmmmmm my brother. God will see good men through. it is well

God no dey any of this abeg!

You lot need to make wiser decisions if you want God to even look yourself. God does not visit us in our foolishness. Instead, He waits for us to begin to exercise wisdom before He then directs us further.

Kobojunkie:
Did you and your wife agree, pre-arrange, to share bills and all? Yes or no please?

You don’t get it,I’m not even after sharing bills with her.What is booking me up is keeping that child a secret from me and even snicking that child back into my home as a niece and mismanagement of my funds for upkeep is what is making me quit.If you could hide that from me just to deceive me into the marriage then she can’t be trusted

You’re not doing anything bad big brother , , that woman ( your wife ) was just saying those stuffs to compromise the integrity of your brain . Don’t Listen to her just keep doing whatever you have the capability to do . There will always be light at the end of the tunnel

evangmx:
I just lost my job like 2 months ago. I use my car to do can work. My wife works as well. And we have 2 children.

I want you to tell me the truth am I doing bad or good?

I pay all the bills at home, I still give out 15k every week for food.

But my wife still complain. I don't know what she use her salary to do. All I know is that she use to wear new cloth every Sunday and new shoes. And buys cloth for the children once in a while.

Pls tell me if am doing bad.

Actually I don’t know you in person but I envision this , seems we have a lot in common when it comes to families .
I have always got a big heart for everyone around me even not up to walking away from them when there is an absolute conflict . I do love people for people because my heart is bigger than my body . I actually inherited that from my dad and I’m gonna instilled that in my kids when I start having them . Dad is a peaceful and happy person and he has this sayings “ it’s not profitable to be negative because negativity is the thief of happiness “ my dad is a great teacher and he teaches without speaking . What she wanted is your negative parts and that’s why she’s trynna say things to compromise the integrity of your brain also trynna talk you out of your space but pls don’t show it to her . The end justifies the means

I won't join the bandwagon of those insulting your wife.

You give her 60k monthly and you take care of all bills. What bills? Houserent, Nepa, security etc etc

You said she buys clothes for the children sometimes, do you buy clothes for the children or pay for the clothes? what about other things the children need who pays for that? You or her?

The 60k is for food only which is relatively expensive nowadays, what type of food do you guys eat, are you the cowleg, goat meat, bokoto saki, different provisions, kind of people, or the pomo, concoction rice and panla kind.

What kind of food do you guys eat?

How much does she earn? Private school teacher earning 10k is working, someone earning 200k is also working all na work.


Answer all these questions first then we can have a clearer picture.

Sir don’t kill yourself for any woman that will send you to your early grave…

You are doing your best as your strength carry

NoToPile:
I won't join the bandwagon of those insulting your wife.

You give her 60k monthly and you take care of all bills. What bills? Houserent, Nepa, security etc etc

You said she buys clothes for the children sometimes, do you buy clothes for the children or pay for the clothes? what about other things the children need who pays for that? You or her?

The 60k is for food only which is relatively expensive nowadays, what type of food do you guys eat, are you the cowleg, goat meat, bokoto saki, different provisions, kind of people, or the pomo, concoction rice and panla kind.

What kind of food do you guys eat?

How much does she earn? Private school teacher earning 10k is working, someone earning 200k is also working all na work.


Answer all these questions first then we can have a clearer picture.

Nothing can ever rationalize the woman’s actions. Firsts, your husband has no steady job(cab is subject to breakdown and accidents with no savings), if you go cooking cow leg and isiewu from 60k, you have failed at home economics. He said “I PAY ALL THE BILLS”. All the bills range from rent, sch fees, electricity, transportation, medical, etc. Most of these bills don’t fall on a monthly category, but when you factor it on a monthly basis, he is spending well over 100k on his family. The NL billionaires claiming its small should tell us how much minimum wage is(30k)? How many of them even take home 100k? How are the civil servants coping when even most state governments are paying percentage salary? Abi no be same Nigeria that NDIC gave a stat that 99.4% of bank accounts hold below 500k? Yet everyone is a billionaire online. He is not even asking for a contribution, but against making extra demands when you contribute nothing from your end. 60k(food only) monthly for 2 adults, 2 kids is definitely not luxury in this economy, but is very much more than enough!

Spiker777:
You don’t get it,I’m not even after sharing bills with her.What is booking me up is keeping that child a secret from me and even snicking that child back into my home as a niece and mismanagement of my funds for upkeep is what is making me quit. If you could hide that from me just to deceive me into the marriage then she can’t be trusted

If this is truly the reason why you divorced your wife, why did you complain then of the loan you owe and the 240k you gave her for spending?

redseason:

Nothing can ever rationalize the woman’s actions. Firsts, your husband has no steady job(cab is subject to breakdown and accidents with no savings), if you go cooking cow leg and isiewu from 60k, you have failed at home economics He said “I PAY ALL THE BILLS”. All the bills range from rent, sch fees, electricity, transportation, medical, etc. Most of these bills don’t fall on a monthly category, but when you factor it on a monthly basis, he is spending well over 100k on his family. The NL billionaires claiming its small should tell us how much minimum wage is(30k)? How many of them even take home 100k? How are the civil servants coping when even most state governments are paying percentage salary? Abi no be same Nigeria that NDIC gave a stat that 99.4% of bank accounts hold below 500k? Yet everyone is a billionaire online. He is not even asking for a contribution, but against making extra demands when you contribute nothing from your en d. 60k(food only) monthly for 2 adults, 2 kids is definitely not luxury in this economy, but is very much more than enough!

Let the guy answer the questions first.

@bolded you have not seen where the man will be demanding that ontop small chop money?

What is their standard of feeding and how much does the wife earn?

You are not certain she Contibutes nothing even th OP didn't say so.

He should answer the questions.