Gosh234:
I will go straight to the point and make this brief. Recall this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6990203/should-marry
On March this year I got a job as ICT officer in a firm which made me move to Lagos ,we are super excited about this development and everything working out fine (No relationship is perfect, understanding kept us going)

I served in a university, towards completion of my service year, I accomodated a guy who got to know about us
One day we were in a arguement of dating or marrying someone older than you.
I stood my ground that I can marry irrespective of age, provided it is what I want
The guy came to conclusion that it seems my spouse is older than me, we laughed over it (That ends it)

Secondly my friend Davidson that live in the same compound who is done with his studies, working while waiting on NYSC.
I told him about my woman , how I love her and ready to settle down as soon as things go as planned for me (he have seen her visited once but they never met)
He asked me if she work, I told him
He asked of her age, I JUST TOLD HIM THAT SHE IS A BIT OLDER THA ME.

While discussing with my woman last night , I was assuring her how much I love her irrespective of anything then I pointed out the two above incidence
To my greatest surprise she became angry eith me
In her words
a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

NOTE
a) I promised her that no one will know of the age difference even if they know she is older

b) I never mentioned her age to these people or the age gap

My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

Take this from someone who knows and has been there, you don't ever admit or go telling people that your wife is older.
Don't do that.
You can still make it right.
Keep it as it is.
No one else needs to know.
Shikenan.

Kirkman:

Contrary to your opinion what I meant was was that his peace of mind is of utmost importance to him rather than trying to prove to the lady that he's sorry and age is not a number but rather his love is able to see them through despite the age difference.

That doesn't sum up what you wrote initially. You said he was doing her a favor by dating her because she was older(Being the prize and spec in the situation)
And advising someone who is wrong on an issue in a relationship to not try to prove to his partner that he is sorry about it especially something sensitive that hurt her is a no no. Accepting faults and apologising when wrong is a good habit and it strengthens relationships. So if your woman does something that hurts you and she doesn't say sorry, would it be easy for you to move on? All in the name of trying to concentrate on her "peace of mind"?

BabbanBura:


She doesn't love you enough, otherwise it won't matter to her whatever anyone will say about her marrying you.

Do not sweat it to makes thing woo, if you try to make her understand the age thing doesn't matter to u but she won't buckle, then let her be. Otherwise you are surrendering your power (not both the man and woman have unique powers that ensure peace and harmony in the home) to her, and if that happens, you will greatly regret marrying an older woman.

I have seen older and / or richer women marrying younger and / or mean with lesser dough and they are leaving peacefully. So to me, nothing wrong marrying a lady older that me!

To me age is not a matter, but when your spouse hid from you and you got to discover it and she/he is still claiming Mrs/Mr right, that lies the problem

IamMobisola:


That doesn't sum up what you wrote initially. You said he was doing her a favor by dating her because she was older(Being the prize and spec in the situation)
And advising someone who is wrong on an issue in a relationship to not try to prove to his partner that he is sorry about it especially something sensitive that hurt her is a no no. Accepting faults and apologising when wrong is a good habit and it strengthens relationships. So if your woman does something that hurts you and she doesn't say sorry, would it be easy for you to move on? All in the name of trying to concentrate on her "peace of mind"?

1) He is a price and spec in his own right as a man same applies to her as well.

2) His peace of mind and not her's, (point of correction)

3) in this situation that the girl Is forming anger over this little issue I will let her be. There are other options for him to make his choosing from. His world doesn't revolve fully around her. She should have just cautioned him and they forget about the whole issue. Peace of mind is bae any day, anytime. Cest finis. I won't allow any human take away that precious gift from me.

4) For people like me, it's very easy to move on. Experience had taught me how to and i don't condone emotional bullshit. When you start showing signs of unseriousness, I take the high road.

mine is older than me, so what. And if you see the way I command respect ehn. You would think I'm here elder by far

Asour:



Stop thinking linearly.

There many young & stubborn ones around today.

You're a kid and you actually don't even know anything....

I didn't advice him to go for young and stubborn kids of your thinking class....


La

Kirkman:

1) He is a price and spec in his own right as a man same applies to her as well.

2) His peace of mind and not her's, (point of correction)

3) in this situation that the girl Is forming anger over this little issue I will let her be. There are other options for him to make his choosing from. His world doesn't revolve fully around her. She should have just cautioned him and they forget about the whole issue. Peace of mind is bae any day, anytime. Cest finis. I won't allow any human take away that precious gift from me.

4) For people like me, it's very easy to move on. Experience had taught me how to and i don't condone emotional bullshit. When you start showing signs of unseriousness, I take the high road.

Asour:



Stop thinking linearly.

There many young & stubborn ones around today.

You're a kid and you actually don't even know anything....

I didn't advice him to go for young and stubborn kids of your thinking class....

Gosh234:

I have done well to explain to her that it means nothing if she really love me

She hide all these from her friends too

She is a wise woman. Relationships are best kept between two lovers, don't make your r/ship a public affair or else people will be the ones to scatter before u know it. You are telling people just to get their opinion if you don't know, she that decide to keep it secret knows best.

op,dont marry woman who is older in age bcoz of menopause and fibroid,you will regret it, Cos fibroid normally attack womb of older woman making it impossible to get pregnant,including menopause

Gosh234:

a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

No doubt she's actually older than you and way above your level.
Don't expect her to treat you any special after the marriage despite the age difference.
Stop behaving like a baby and learn to be mature. No matter your age, if you're fresh from NYSC, you're still very immature. Unfortunately you meet a older lady and want to settle down sharply after NYSC.
My guy, don't tell us about love when you still courting. Marriage is far more more and more entails many things than just love.
Please watch out , after your marriage, the more you fvcked-up, the more she will double her husle and after two kid, she can dump your ass.

Gosh234:


My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

There is NOTHING wrong in your dating.
the shocker is that you are proud of her when the world is shaming her while she is ashamed of you and not even cautious to keep her mouth shut about it. She even called you underage? She is so bothered about age when it should be the other way around.

Marry this one and be forever on guard about age issues and her insecurity and lack of confidence for a life time. Especially as she has voiced it out.

Leave her right away and ignore any plea for reconciliation because she will serve you mad breakfast and use these same words as her reason and excuse. Her words are clear evidence that she would not even be with you if the roles were to be reversed.

JASONjnr:


You're a kid and you actually don't even know anything....

I didn't advice him to go for young and stubborn kids of your thinking class....


La

You're a kid and you actually don't even know anything....

I didn't advice him to go for young and stubborn kids of your thinking class....

Hahahaha.

That's literally what you did.

Advising him to Always go for younger ladies. You used the word 'always'.

I'm just correcting you to say that Younger doesn't ((always)) mean you have control.

Cheers.

Asour:



Hahahaha.

That's literally what you did.

Advising him to Always go for younger ladies. You used the word 'always'.

I'm just correcting you to say that Younger doesn't ((always)) mean you have control.

Cheers.

Olodo.... So if he's 35 and he goes for a girl that's 30yo... then that's going for younger girls?

A 30yo girl is younger?

If she’s fussing about this.. be ready about more emotional blackmail from her. Even if you tell ur family (you should be honest with ur family… if they ask… to avoid any mistrust).. what she should be worried about is that you’re OK with her being older than you. Make sure you know her exact age since she’s already getting uncomfortable about age but doesnt uncomfortable undressing and knacking u..

Never marry a woman that is older than you.
She will always see you as her younger brother.
She might treat you well but she will always do things you don't like and expect you to understand.

Gosh234:

I have relocated from East where these guys are to Lagos now
I am not with these people and we don't keep in touch

Never did I agreed that I am at fault
As it stands now

Who is paying most of the bill? You or her?

Marriage is for kids, baby mama is for adults

Ntipia:
Never marry a woman that is older than you.
She will always see you as her younger brother.
She might treat you well but she will always do things you don't like and expect you to understand.

Mynd44 come and see chomtin

nowornever2016:
make it low key oga.

WHAT If WE ALL Love each other?

JASONjnr:


Olodo.... So if he's 35 and he goes for a girl that's 30yo... then that's going for younger girls?

A 30yo girl is younger?

Well Yes. A 30 YO. is younger to a 35 YO.

Is a 30 YO older to a 35 YO?

Gosh234:
I will go straight to the point and make this brief. Recall this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6990203/should-marry
On March this year I got a job as ICT officer in a firm which made me move to Lagos ,we are super excited about this development and everything working out fine (No relationship is perfect, understanding kept us going)

I served in a university, towards completion of my service year, I accomodated a guy who got to know about us
One day we were in a arguement of dating or marrying someone older than you.
I stood my ground that I can marry irrespective of age, provided it is what I want
The guy came to conclusion that it seems my spouse is older than me, we laughed over it (That ends it)

Secondly my friend Davidson that live in the same compound who is done with his studies, working while waiting on NYSC.
I told him about my woman , how I love her and ready to settle down as soon as things go as planned for me (he have seen her visited once but they never met)
He asked me if she work, I told him
He asked of her age, I JUST TOLD HIM THAT SHE IS A BIT OLDER THA ME.

While discussing with my woman last night , I was assuring her how much I love her irrespective of anything then I pointed out the two above incidence
To my greatest surprise she became angry eith me
In her words
a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

NOTE
a) I promised her that no one will know of the age difference even if they know she is older

b) I never mentioned her age to these people or the age gap

My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

y

U r nothing but a simp, u aint matured in character 2 settle down with her, she just discovered that. What brought abt ur personal marital issue with d arguments with ur frns? Why will u had 2 discuss her in public? Get matured b4 u settle down. Apologize 2 her n promise never 2 discuss ur personal marital issues with anyone anymore. Goodluck!

VlamesIffect:
why you sef no lock up...you dey talk too much....

See ehn I've dated ladies wey i senior...even when they later find out them no believe all na maturity...babe wey dey look up to me as her elder brother...the respect ehn, even till today....when she found out say she use 3 years senior me.... she was on my laps.....she no fit stand up...but it is what it is.....if you were mature enough i assure you it wouldn't have made a difference.....women love a man that is in control that's all....have money or not be a man & be in control & no dey talk too much.....

As e be now...if i be you i go sit her down talk sense into her head....then leave am no push am....if she no respond take am as loss but learn from am no fvck up next time...

I'm confused �, Your name says female. Or is your write up the other way round?

Gosh234:
Sis Oge, throw more punch, chuckles
She clearly know the age and everything before anything
Don't play victim card on her behalf

I didn't discuss her age if you read well
She is older than me and never her age

Ancient human
I greet you

She's older than you is enough, You don't need to tell her age for your friends to know she's older. Learn from this, but I wonder what will give me room to have this kinda discussion with my friends about my girlfriend. Guy just admit you made that mistake by allowing that kind discussion at the first place.

Shugargal:

She's older than you is enough, You don't need to tell her age for your friends to know she's older. Learn from this, but I wonder what will give me room to have this kinda discussion with my friends about my girlfriend. Guy just admit you made that mistake by allowing that kind discussion at the first place.

Guys ask that type of question and it’s no biggie.. Same way women ask what a guy does.. where he works.. what type of car he drives… The fact she’s so miffed about him entertaining that question is a big sign of what type of emotional blackmail coming his way.. Be ready for constant accusation of ageism…if you lie to ur family and friends… be ready to bottle it all up when she starts accusing u of ageism… She’s got the emotional baggage not you..

Shugargal:

She's older than you is enough, You don't need to tell her age for your friends to know she's older. Learn from this, but I wonder what will give me room to have this kinda discussion with my friends about my girlfriend. Guy just admit you made that mistake by allowing that kind discussion at the first place.

You just sound like my ex who wanted to guilt trip into commitment because her ex had ‘wasted’ her time. I just told that I was not a party to thatbrelationship.. and she should reset everything to ZERO with me. It was an uncomfortable and honest truth.

Why are you always going into arguments about a lady older than her spouse if you’re not feeling insecure in the first place? You’re the one that has problem, not her. And the earlier you work on that, the better. Someone who lives in a glass house don’t play with stones.

Gosh234:
I will go straight to the point and make this brief. Recall this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6990203/should-marry
On March this year I got a job as ICT officer in a firm which made me move to Lagos ,we are super excited about this development and everything working out fine (No relationship is perfect, understanding kept us going)

I served in a university, towards completion of my service year, I accomodated a guy who got to know about us
One day we were in a arguement of dating or marrying someone older than you.
I stood my ground that I can marry irrespective of age, provided it is what I want
The guy came to conclusion that it seems my spouse is older than me, we laughed over it (That ends it)

Secondly my friend Davidson that live in the same compound who is done with his studies, working while waiting on NYSC.
I told him about my woman , how I love her and ready to settle down as soon as things go as planned for me (he have seen her visited once but they never met)
He asked me if she work, I told him
He asked of her age, I JUST TOLD HIM THAT SHE IS A BIT OLDER THA ME.

While discussing with my woman last night , I was assuring her how much I love her irrespective of anything then I pointed out the two above incidence
To my greatest surprise she became angry eith me
In her words
a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

NOTE
a) I promised her that no one will know of the age difference even if they know she is older

b) I never mentioned her age to these people or the age gap

My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

leave her and move forward.. I have my reason y I said so, if you would like to hear, PM me

Gosh234:
I will go straight to the point and make this brief. Recall this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6990203/should-marry
On March this year I got a job as ICT officer in a firm which made me move to Lagos ,we are super excited about this development and everything working out fine (No relationship is perfect, understanding kept us going)

I served in a university, towards completion of my service year, I accomodated a guy who got to know about us
One day we were in a arguement of dating or marrying someone older than you.
I stood my ground that I can marry irrespective of age, provided it is what I want
The guy came to conclusion that it seems my spouse is older than me, we laughed over it (That ends it)

Secondly my friend Davidson that live in the same compound who is done with his studies, working while waiting on NYSC.
I told him about my woman , how I love her and ready to settle down as soon as things go as planned for me (he have seen her visited once but they never met)
He asked me if she work, I told him
He asked of her age, I JUST TOLD HIM THAT SHE IS A BIT OLDER THA ME.

While discussing with my woman last night , I was assuring her how much I love her irrespective of anything then I pointed out the two above incidence
To my greatest surprise she became angry eith me
In her words
a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

NOTE
a) I promised her that no one will know of the age difference even if they know she is older

b) I never mentioned her age to these people or the age gap

My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

You have lost interest baa??
Then drop her and move on.

She is smarter than you and indirectly manipulating your emotions to know whether you are still with her.

ednut1:
So on her birthday una go still hide her age

Ask me my brother, I have taken my time to know that only ladies attack over this, tomorrow now same people will say "you are not proud of me"

Konjiboii:
She wants to guilt trip you so you will be the one acting desperate to marry. Alaye there's nothing wrong with what you did. If she insist of ending it then play along.
Na she go still come beg.
Grow some nuts

Thanks , everything is back to normal
She seems to understand better, but when such is asked, what do I say? It will always come because I am still young

OhiOfIhima:
You shouldn't have discussed it with her that you have such discussion with colleagues. No matter d age difference, let it just btw you guys, in presence of others, you're the oldest. Well, women doesn't like discussing of the age tin, even though you senior her...
I was marveled to her outburst Sha... She should have understand and matured more in her utterance. Woman Sha, no one can predict them. Just apologies n let it slide.

Tomorrow will be "you are not proud of me,I can't predict either, I have apologised, everywhere good now"